Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” We’re gonna play a conversational game we like to call “Would You Rather: Porn Edition? “Prom Edition.” Just messing with ya. Just messing with ya. It’s not GME, but boy, do we get, we got, you know, we got close- A little dirty. But not really, ’cause like- Did we cross the line? Those are honest questions, like you said- Yeah, just kids asking questions. And they need to be answered. I mean, think about it. We didn’t do that, though. Well, we can do some of that. We reinforced stereotypes that hitting your penis on a granite countertop would break it. It did remind me of a question that I ask to my, our biology teacher. You weren’t in that room, I’ll tell you about it. It was a sex question that I asked in biology class, and- About frogs? It was kinda embarrassing. Um, well, I can’t wait to hear it, but first, let’s give $1,000 to 350.org, to aid in their mission to end the age of fossil fuels and build a world of community-led renewable energy for all. Big fans of what 350.org is doing. We encourage you to be a part of it as well. Please join us in giving at 350.org/donate. Thank you for being your Mythical best. All right, Stevie, hit us with a hypothetical. Oh, you’re burying your, this is a, it’s a tease. Tease, tease, tease. Deep tease, got it. Okay, which would you rather wear to prom: an “I’m With Stupid” arrow t-shirt or a Tim Robinson-esque hot dog costume? Mm. So is the t-shirt underneath like a blazer, or is that, if you’re wearing a dress, then you’re wearing a shirt over the dress? Well, we’re talking about you. I mean, yeah, you could wear a dress with a t-shirt over it, for sure. So you would be like, you’d wear a tuxedo, but then you’d have the shirt underneath it, and you’d still put the… I think, I’m putting myself in my high school days, and I think that- Junior year, definitely, ’cause- I would’ve done the “I’m With Stupid” thing with the tie, and the, you know. Yeah, ’cause you basically went with me junior year. I mean, we went with a group of guy friends. None of us had dates. You went with John McClam and those guys? Yeah. The senior guys? Yes. I didn’t have a date. I could’ve had a date. Yeah, that’s- But because some of my close friends who are like tall and not as bearded as they are now couldn’t have a date, I was like, you know what? I’ll take one for the team. We had some, it was a, I don’t know- I’m joking, I don’t know why you couldn’t have a date. I don’t know what my perspective on it was, because I remember almost taking, I think it was Crystal. Yeah? ‘Cause she worked at a mall, and she always smelled like different mixes of perfumes. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You were gonna take her to the prom? Yeah, but something fell apart there leading up to that, I think. Someone’s interest in somebody. And yeah. So junior year, we could’ve done “I’m With Stupid,” but I would not do that to my date, you know? But would you do hot dog to your date? No. Well, I mean, if it’s a euphemism for something, you might. So my senior year, I had a girlfriend who I went to the prom with, but she would’ve hated the hot dog. Yeah, so I think what we’re saying is- She would not have stood for being called stupid. When you were in a position to either choose the hot dog or the shirt, what would you choose? I’d definitely choose the t-shirt. That sounds like something that I might have done and thought was cool. I would’ve chosen the hot dog, just to be completely dumb. I guess that’s what I would’ve done. Okay, there we go. It’s like, hey, you knew what you were getting into when you dated me. Completely dumb stuff. The most creative person, though, was when Matt M. Yeah? Dressed up like a woman. Why was that creative? Because it wasn’t like he dressed up like a woman, he was doing it like as a, almost like a- It was not a joke. A show of protest. It was a stunt. In like mid-’90s rural North Carolina. It was like a really bold move. Yeah. And everyone, when he first walked in, everybody was like, “Who’s this new girl?” Like it was that convincing. I remember thinking that and people are like, “That’s Matt M.” I’m going, “What?” Yeah. ‘Cause it wasn’t like, “Oh, I’m just gonna put on a wig and be stupid.” It was like, “I’m going all the way. “People are gonna think that-” It was totally out of the blue, and it was not, you know, it wasn’t a reflection of who he was. He was making a statement. He was making a statement. It was more of a… He knew that the administration and the teachers there wouldn’t know what to do with it. Right? Because we come from a really conservative place, and I think that that night, they didn’t say anything, but you could tell that they were kinda rattled with ah, what do we do? What do we do about this boy that dressed up like a girl? Mission accomplished. You know? This is confusing. Where would you rather take your date to eat before prom? The Melting Pot. Hooters or Rainforest Cafe, but with 50% more misters. Oh, gosh, it’s so moldy. Misters? Misters? Oh, okay. I was like, are we going stag again, or you’re saying misters, like. Rainforest Cafe, all day, every day, because going to Hooters, it feels like, I don’t know. It just seems like it’s sending the wrong message. You know? It’s one thing to have, to be there with your date and have animatronic or however you say it- Animatronic? Animatronic gorilla over your shoulder. It’s another thing to- That’s Show Biz Pizza, dude. There is a gorilla, listen, I watched Eddie’s cross-country go to every single Rainforest Cafe- I guess I’ve never been to Rainforest Cafe. And there’s at least one gorilla that’s still doing things. That’s better than having a, you know, a scantily clad server come up to you, and you know, you don’t wanna make your date feel like she’s competing against that. Oh, you’ve still got a price tag. Well, let’s see what you paid for that. Wow, I wasn’t, I wanted to see how, I wanted to see if I wanted to return it, see how, you know, I was told- I look like a giraffe. I don’t know what people are saying in the comments, but based on that, I’m deciding if I’m gonna rip the tag off and return it. I accidentally came back with some of it here. Oh, really? Yeah, I don’t know. That’s not a necessary part of the tag, I can still return it. I don’t think I am gonna return it, because I wanna remember this day with this outfit. It’s so special. I gotta go with Rainforest Cafe. I don’t like orange wings. What would you rather have as your mode of transportation to prom: your mom pulling you in a wheelbarrow or your least-favorite teacher pushing you in a stroller? My least-favorite teacher pushing me in a stroller? I mean, uh, look at that. Coach McKnight, pushing me in on a stroller. It’s a power play. It’s a power play, man. That’s awesome. Your mom, first of all, your mom pulling you in a wheelbarrow, I’d like to see somebody do that. That’s really hard to do. That’s, yeah, yeah, that’s a good point. I think you could do it, like you could grab it this way and you- Then you just back up slowly? No, you could go forward with it, I think, if you grab it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to- But you can’t grab the front, you gotta grab the handles. Gotta be behind you and then. Yeah, you don’t want your mom. You don’t want your mom to be seen with you on prom night in front of your friends, at least, you know. You don’t want your mom to see what you do on prom night. You gotta play it cool. That’s right. So in biology class, this was freshman year? Like Ms. Lee’s biology class? She was freshman year? Sophomore year? I think it was sophomore year. Sophomore year, I developed a rapport with her. I felt like I could ask her anything, and I was really curious. Was this an open question in class? Or just directly to her? Sometimes, I would just like talk to her in class. Like when people were working on stuff, I would talk to her where everybody else could hear the conversation, you know? ‘Cause she had a good sense of humor, and it was also the class that I ate the worm’s anus in. So I was always- And put the rat’s tail in your backpack and kept it for a year. Kept a rat tail in my backpack, just so I could show people. I mean, it was already preserved. It was like this long. I don’t know why, I just did stuff just to do stuff, but I didn’t think about the implications of my question. I said, Ms. Lee, I wanna know, do guys have a set amount of sperm? Oh, you asked the question that was asked in the song. Yes. I sincerely wanted to know, ’cause I mean, you know, I felt like I needed to save some for when I really needed it. But I wasn’t in the practice of saving much at the time. Yeah. You know what I’m saying? Not many of us were. But you asked this in biology, when other people were working- Biology class. On other things, just like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn’t talk about sex in biology class. Everybody else was just taking a test. Hey, Ms. Lee. She said, “I don’t,” I was so relieved. She was like, “No. “You keep making more.” I’m like, “Thank God!” Do you remember what the reaction from the other students was? No. I don’t remember the reaction, but I wanted to know so badly that I asked her. Like I wasn’t even joking. Yeah, but that was back before you could just- Google. Go on the internet. You had to ask embarrassing questions. You had to ask it in front of people. Which is interesting that these questions are being asked today. I don’t think anybody made the connection. Well, oftentimes, they’ll have like a, you know, you write it down on a piece of paper, and then you, like a, you know- Yeah. So you had a sex ed class? I had- We didn’t have that. In middle school, I wouldn’t call it a sex ed class, because it was more about, you know, they separated the boys and the girls, and then you learned about your own reproductive systems. But like it wasn’t a- It was more anatomy? Yeah. It wasn’t a sex ed class. It wasn’t like sexual health. I don’t think we ever talked about sex. I think it was just like, this is what you have down there type of thing. Yeah, we didn’t have it, and the one time somebody did try to do something- It was backlash. It was a coach who brought in a banana and a condom. Really, though? I wasn’t here for this. No, no, we weren’t in this class. Oh. I can’t remember his name. He was like the assistant basketball coach for like a year. Younger guy, and he got into a lot of trouble, and I think it may have been because it wasn’t, first of all, because it was where we were from in the time, but I don’t think it was an official sex ed class. I think he was teaching social studies or something, and he was like, I’m taking it upon myself, because these kids don’t understand anything, let me show you how to put a condom on a banana. And it was interpreted as like a sexual act, and he was disciplined. It was interpreted as a sexual act? Yeah. Oh. That’s weird. Yeah. It was unfortunate. I’ve never put a condom on a banana. I don’t recommend it. I think it’s important, though, to know how to use a condom. Well, I do know, the interesting thing about those doubling up on the condoms thing, is I remember one time, Daniel, one of the Daniels, there’s a lot of Daniels that weren’t at Central, so I’m just gonna say, one of the Daniels. A lot of Joshes, too, I hope. He was talking about how he had had an encounter with someone and this was someone who had a, you know, typical high school BS, someone who had a reputation for having had a lot of encounters with someone. Okay. And he was like, “I used three condoms.” And now I know that that was a bad idea. Almost started a fire. Almost started a fire in her Virginia. Right. Like now you know as of today? I wouldn’t have, like it makes sense, but I would’ve thought that oh yeah, I mean, there’s disadvantages to doubling up on condoms, but actually knowing that it’s unsafe because the friction can cause the condoms to burst? You know, I didn’t really know that. I’ve never thought about it. Definitely never tried it. Which prom theme would you rather have: Salem Witch Trials? Yes! Or Fyre Fest? Salem Witch Trials would be awesome. So there’s like effigies of witches being like dunked in water? Hell yeah. At Fyre Fest. Did you, we must have, I don’t remember having a prom theme, but it must’ve, we must have? Oh yeah. Ours were always so stupid. Like I think the last year, it was like, “Night Under the Stars.” “Keeper of the Stars.” Yeah. And so there’s just like stars. ‘Cause they didn’t have a big budget to go all out on stuff. It was in the cafeteria. One year was, not “Moulin Rouge.” Maybe more Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge. What’s, no, what’s, uh, Mardi Gras, Mardi Gras. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you rather have a nightlight that, when it gets dark, it automatically comes on and reveals a glowing “Good Mythical Morning” neon sign logo or just be in the dark? Yeah, you could stub your toe. When you plug this thing in- Accidentally put on two condoms. There’s all kinds of things that could go wrong when it’s completely dark. You plug it in the wall, it’s got a little sensor on the bottom, and I’m not showing it to you currently, ’cause it’s not plugged in. Put it in your mouth. I think that works. I’ve seen it on Reddit. It gives it a nice little glow. See how charged you are today. Yep. Gives a nice little glow. Low energy. And it does it automatically for you. You can get this at a Walmart near you, or at walmart.com while supplies last. Mm-hmm. Which musical act- People love this. Would you rather play at your prom: a Hollywood Boulevard Michael Jackson impersonator- Ooh. Bless you. Bless you. A recording of you singing in the shower? I didn’t hear any of that. When I’m singing in the shower, am I being recorded, knowing that it’s gonna be played at prom? No. Hmm. A Hollywood Boulevard Michael Jackson impersonator, singing is not part of the act. It’s just posing for pictures. Exactly. So, and of course, now, we feel differently about Michael Jackson, you know, than we did back when we were going to prom. So I guess I gotta take one for the team, just put my shower songs on repeat. Yeah, I’m gonna go with him, because I really didn’t hear the prompt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were too busy sneezing. What song would you rather have played for the final dance at prom: a slow dance cover version of “Shots” or “God Bless America”? So “Shots,” is that the one where it’s like, “The sweat drips down my balls”? No. ‘Cause that’s the one- It’s the one where the entire chorus is- Shots, shots, shots. Yeah. Shots. Okay. And we talking about Lee Greenwood here, for- I’m sorry, what? Lee Greenwood? Oh, that’s a “God Bless America” thing? ♪ God bless America ♪ Sounded like Boom Hour. Well, Lee Greenwood did “I’m Proud to be an American,” but if you, I’m sure if you buy a Lee Greenwood album, he has done “God Bless America” on one of those things, too. I mean, that man is singing every American song you could think of. ♪ Shots, shots ♪ ♪ Shots, shots ♪ ♪ I don’t know the tune right now ♪ ♪ And it’s better not to sing it anyway ♪ ♪ Shots, shots ♪ I think I’m going with “Shots,” based on that demonstration. I don’t wanna go, well, if it was a middle school dance, you definitely don’t want the last song to be the slow song, because the parents are already lining up to take you home. You wanna have the slow stuff right in the middle. But in high school, it was- In high school, you can… The fast songs were the ones that people, man, people got wild. Friction! Like I don’t know if that’s happening, I don’t know much about high school prom. You know, Locke, especially was, you know, the last two years was basically like, COVID was affecting everybody’s things, so they didn’t even have it one year. Yeah. So, in the ’90s, in North Carolina, as soon as the beat dropped, people were grinding on each other like really intensely the whole time. I have to assume that that’s still happening, but is that happening at LA? Are they like grinding, is everybody grinding? I don’t remember dancing that way, though. We didn’t do it. No, we didn’t do it. We were good boys. There was a contingent that was comfortable doing it, but I was not comfortable doing it. We kinda stood back and we were like, whoa. I’m not comfortable doing this in front of the chaperone, like the parents, the friends’ parent. Right, right. Like the chaperone thing really worked for me. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I don’t want Mrs. Jubie to see me do this. You know? Mrs. Jubie. Good ol’ Mrs. Jubie. That’s a great last name. Hey, y’all ever heard of the last name Jubie? Pretty cool, huh? I think it is the best last name there is. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Mr. Jubie. You know what? And just, you know, go on with your day, knowing that you’re, you know, you’re making more sperm. Yep. Get your glow on with our custom GMM night light, available at Walmart and walmart.com.