Will singing sex ed questions make ’em less embarrassing. – Let’s talk about that. (upbeat music) Good mythical morning. – Who said that? – What? – All I see is a floating LL Bean tag. (crew members laugh) – It’s me, man, I’m here. – Hey, oh, hey Link. – I’m here. – I’m just going ahead and saying that because that’s what 70% of the comments are gonna be. – Oh. – I just wanna get ahead of it. You know, get in front of it. – It’s over. – Because when you wear camo that’s what people say. – Is that ladies love bean. – Okay. Today’s episode was initially created with a special singing celebrity guest in mind, whose name was Josh. – But, at the last minute, and this is for reals, something came up for that Josh, and he couldn’t make it today. – So instead of that, Josh, we got the next best thing. Our Josh. – Our Josh. All right, Josh, welcome. – Put him, Josh is in the middle, man. – No, I was told to put him here. – Okay. All right. – Mythical chef Josh. – Do what you’re told. – Hi. (crew members laugh) – Hey, Josh. Thanks for being willing to come here knowing nothing about what’s happening, right? – I’ve heard I’m supposed to sing. – Can you sing? And are you comfortable talking about sex education? – I’m much more comfortable talking about sex education than I am singing. I’ve never gotten booed off stage for talking about sex education. – But you have for singing? – Yeah, it was a karaoke. I was doing a song by The Offspring. – Oh, you got booed off of a karaoke stage. – This is gonna go great. It’s time for, Sing Me A Song All Pretty And Nice. But could you make it about the dangers of pubic lice. The mythical crew has turned the internet upside down searching for the most embarrassing real life questions ever asked in sex ed classes. And they showed up on message boards, subreddits, magazine articles, whatever. And then they’ve grouped them together, all of these real questions and put them into categories. – So we’ve got these two graduation caps. One cap has categories of questions that were actually asked in sex ed class. – Yes. – And the other has different genres of, you guessed it, royalty free music tracks. – Any Offspring-esque stuff in here, maybe? – Hopefully, yeah. – God, I hope so. – So once we have our categories and our genres we’re gonna step over to the mic. We’re gonna sing the lyrics, which are really just the embarrassing questions that were asked in those classes as they are revealed to us. Josh, we’re not gonna make you go first. – Thank you. – Unless you want to. – We’re gonna show you how this is done. – I wanna see the pros do it first. – Okay, I’m gonna go first. – Yeah, you go first, I don’t wanna go first. – This is the category. The category, which is going to be body hair. – Body hair. – I have that. – But you didn’t always. – No, I was born with body hair. – As you were getting it, there were lots of questions. – I remember my first. – The universe is trying to tell me something. 80’s hair metal. – All right, get on over there. – 80’s hair metal. Okay. 80’s hair metal. I’ve got hair. Hit it. (rock guitar music) ♪ I heard you kids got some questions about sex ♪ ♪ Let me hear ’em, boys and girls. ♪ ♪ That’s not creepy at all. ♪ ♪ If both partners have long pubes ♪ ♪ Can they get tangled ♪ ♪ How would you get them apart, yeah ♪ ♪ Does the hair down there go gray ♪ ♪ And if your head goes bald ♪ ♪ Do you lose all of your pubes too ♪ ♪ I don’t know ♪ ♪ Is it normal to have one long pubic hair ♪ ♪ In the genital area ♪ ♪ What is pubic hair there for ♪ ♪ What is pubic hair there for ♪ ♪ What is pubic hair there for ♪ ♪ My teacher said, I have no idea ♪ (all clap and cheer) – Wow, bringing the energy for round one. That was nice. How’s your voice? Is it gonna be like that permanently? – I don’t know. (all laugh) Well, you see, you can go to, this is a secret of ACDC, Link. What’s his name? Brian Johnson. – Yeah. – Is he the one? – Sure. Yeah. ♪ You go up in like this and it actually ♪ ♪ Isn’t really doing anything to your voice ♪ ♪ That’s why he could do it night after night after night ♪ ‘Cause this is coming from a different place. ♪ What is pubic hair there for ♪ – I think it’s there for cushion. – It sounds like if Elmo started a metal band and I love it. – Yeah. – Yeah, see. – I mean, and the grays, like, I would say no, at least at this point. (crew members laugh) – You don’t know yet though. – They can get tangled though. It’s like Velcro, you know? But it has to be to like a positive and negative charge, like Velcro, it’s like if two- – Yeah, if you rub it and you get the static- – Then you’re really- – If someone has straight hairs and someone has curly hairs? – Yeah, it’s more like if they curl, if one curls right, one curls left, then they just hook and then you’re stuck. – You ever been in that situation? Had to go to the ER. – No, I’m like a dolphin, baby, just… – Oh, that’s how I picture you down there. – Yeah. Yeah. – All right, I’m gonna go next and my question is around the category of doing it. – Okay. – So- – What is it? – Straight down the line. And then my royalty free track is gonna be in the style of, country western. – Oh yeah. – Good luck. Don’t blow out your voice. – Class is in session. Hit it. Haw. Hyah. Round up your doggies, ’cause we’re gonna talk about doing it. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ If a woman has a threesome while she has an STD ♪ ♪ Can the STD travel through the woman ♪ ♪ And through the man and infect the third person ♪ ♪ That’s a good question ♪ ♪ Keep it to yourself ♪ ♪ If you intercourse longer ♪ ♪ Is the baby born bigger ♪ – Yes. ♪ That’s a real good question ♪ ♪ I’ve never thought of that ♪ ♪ What about this one ♪ ♪ Is oral sex when you talk about sex ♪ ♪ And if that’s true, are we doing it now ♪ (laughs) And finally. ♪ Can you catch an STD over the phone ♪ (crew cheers and claps) – Are we doing it now? – Those are real questions. – Real, real questions. – Those are real good questions. – How long did his parents do the intercourse to grow him that day, is what I’m wondering. – They may have gone double digit minutes. – Yeah, good for them, dude. – Yeah, never thought about that. – Good for them. All right, you’re up. – Okay. – Well, take your category first. – Oh, I gotta take a… okay. – Yeah, take the category. – Wait, where I do this? – Do this right. Don’t screw up right from the beginning, Josh. – Okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, I have awkward. I have no experience with any of that. – Okay, so this is the awkward category. – Awkward. – None of those previous questions were awkward. – And then, and we have… The Offspring is pop-punk. – [Rhett] Yeah. Okay. – Yeah. Yeah. – Nice. – So I have history with the genre. I feel pretty good about it. – We will not boo you. – Yeah, no boo. – It’s gonna go awesome. No, please boo me. Everybody out there, boo me if I deserve it. Please. Thank you. – No, we’re gonna boo you. – Not now. – Go for it, man. – All right, I’m going. Everyone, please be gentle and empathetic, I’m new. – We got you. man. – Thank you. So I have no professional training of singing. All right, house band, hit it. (upbeat music) I like that. I can get down to this. Come on now. Fans, Warp tour 2009, we’re gonna live forever. ♪ I asked if you can run out of sperm ♪ ♪ Then everyone looked at me ♪ ♪ Knowing I’m a hardcore wanker ♪ ♪ A girl in my seventh grade health class ♪ ♪ She asked, do penis have cholesterol ♪ Good question. ♪ We were having a class on nutrition ♪ ♪ Apparently she forgot how to say peanuts ♪ ♪ Peanuts ♪ ♪ Why did they make noises ♪ ♪ When having sexual intercourse ♪ ♪ Like, ooh, we, ooh, we ooh (ooh, we, ooh, we ooh) ♪ ♪ Ooh, we, ooh, we ooh (ooh, we, ooh, we ooh) ♪ ♪ Ooh, we, ooh, we ooh (ooh, we, ooh, we ooh) ♪ ♪ Ooh, we, ooh, we ooh (ooh, we, ooh, we ooh) ♪ ♪ Noises ♪ ♪ Intercourse ♪ ♪ Sexual ♪ (crew cheers and claps) – Hey. – What. – Thank you so much, I didn’t… No, you guys, you got the energy. You brought the energy today. – Wow. – Come back over here, man. – Well, Josh. – Hey man, you showed me up. That was awesome, dude. ♪ Ooh, we, ooh, we ooh ♪ – My heart was beating so fast. I tried to do the Blink 182 accent, you know the, ♪ I’m sorry ♪ – Yeah, we can tell. – Yeah, hey man. Hey, they’re back and now apparently you’re here. – I’m available to sing back up. – I’m pretty impressed. You really, you set the bar so low for yourself and you definitely exceeded that. I mean, my expectations were down here. I mean, but I think, you know, the ball’s in your court, if you want to stick around for another round of this. – My voice is taxed. That was it, that was all I get. – I kind of feel like you might need to pull a George Costanza and just… Everybody’s clapping and smiling at you and this is when you leave. – Yeah, I’m out, no, I’m done now. See you guys. – All right, you know who else is here though? (crew clap and laugh) – Emily. – Emily. – Come on in, Emily. – So, I guess I’m tapping in. – Yeah. – That’s very intimidating, he was very- – Slide on over. – Oh, slide on over. He was very good. – Well, you come from a family of musicians. – I know, this is very… Now I have to prove something. (all laugh) – You wanna go ahead and get it over with? – (sighs) All right. – Start over here. – Start over there. You know, if you don’t sing good you lose the right to vote in Nashville. – Yeah, that’s true, that’s how it works. – So what is that? – It says, oh, it says condoms. – Okay, I’ve heard of those. – Okay, and this is not an actual condom. – No, no, no, don’t try it. – I’m gonna try. – What if I didn’t know? (laughs) Old Hollywood big band. – Oh. Oh. – You ready? – Don’t laugh at me, Josh. Okay, lemme go. All right, here we go. Okay. We’re doing condoms and old Hollywood big band. Proceed. (upbeat music) Oh, boy. Mm. ♪ So the teacher told us wearing two condoms ♪ ♪ Is actually less effective because ♪ – [Link] Oh, I’m interested. ♪ Of the increased friction ♪ ♪ And a top mind of my class asked ♪ ♪ If you go fast enough, could you start a fire ♪ (all laugh) Okay. ♪ Can you use a Skittles bag as a condom ♪ ♪ Do they make chicken flavored condoms ♪ – Chicken. ♪ In an emergency could a clown ♪ ♪ Use a balloon as a condom ♪ ♪ Do the balls go in the condom too ♪ ♪ Do the balls go in the condom too ♪ ♪ Where do they go ♪ ♪ Where do those balls go ♪ Where do they go? (crew cheers and claps) – I love it. ♪ Do the balls go in the condom too ♪ – I think that’s a valid question. – Almost sounds like a Christmas song. – I mean, no question is a bad question in sex ed class, is what I’m learning. – That’s true. – You did a great job. – Thank you. – It’s very- – I think that was kind of my genre too. I kind of got lucky. – Well, you really know the expression to make at the end of a question too, in that genre. Like… it really disarms it, you know. – Disarms it. – It disarms it. – Yeah. – It disarms it. – Okay. All right, well, I’m gonna go again. But first, we wanna remind you that Charles, that’s not this Charles, that’s Link’s dad Charles and Link, that’s this Charles right here, they’re going strong. New episodes of “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach”. More dirty jokes, more crazy stories, and continued shagging all from Myrtle Beach. – There’s dirty jokes, but I promise it’s wholesome. – It’s very wholesome. – At the same time. It’s like as wholesome as you can get with like, dirty jokes that neither one of us understand. So check it out. – Not unlike today, I guess? – Right, it’s not unlike today. My dad would love this. – I don’t think the balls go into the same condom. You would get a second condom for the balls. – There should be a ball condom. – Yeah. (crew members laugh) – Ball condoms, now at mythical.com. (all laugh) Hey. We’re not above it. – We can call it the cockatrice. – Ooh. – Oh. – Cockatrice. – Sexy science. That’s my category. And my genre is adult contemporary. (Emily gasps) – Okay. – It’s a new category. – Hello. I’m a contemporary adult (Emily laughs) and I’ve got some questions for you. Hit it. (gentle music) ♪ Mm, yeah ♪ ♪ If sperms have tails then why don’t we ♪ ♪ If sperm don’t have eyes how do we have eyes ♪ ♪ Why do we have eyes ♪ ♪ Can you keep a sperm in a jar ♪ ♪ Like pets in a fish tank ♪ ♪ I don’t know ♪ ♪ If you’re having sex with a girl and she farts ♪ ♪ Will your balls explode ♪ ♪ When the penis goes into the Virginia ♪ ♪ Does it happen quietly or click like a key in a lock ♪ ♪ I want it to click like a key in a lock ♪ ♪ I wanna know that I’m in there ♪ ♪ I wanna have absolutely no doubt ♪ That I’m in the Virginia. (crew cheers and claps) – Does it click like a key in a lock? – Isn’t Virginia the state for lovers too? – Yeah. – It is. – Perfect. – Yeah. – Wow. – It would be so helpful if it clicked like a lock. You know, there’d be less discussion. – I don’t know, might not be great for me. Be like, well, I’m… – Yeah, let’s make this personal, Emily. (all laugh) – Be like, how do we unclick it? – Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, just turn to the left. – Can I get a locksmith, a Virginia locksmith. – Oh, yes. All right. I’m going to sing about erections. – Oh. – Yay. – And I’m going to sing in boy band style. – Oh, yeah. – Ooh. – I can’t get out. – Oh no, you’re locked, you’re locked in. Call Virginia. – Hey guys, it’s me. Your sex ed cool dude is coming in to answer all your questions. – [Rhett] Oh my gosh. – Hit it. (upbeat music) Hey, look at me. I’m on stage dancing in sync with no one. ♪ In sixth grade sex ed class ♪ ♪ Jake raised his hand and asked ♪ ♪ Can I get an erection ♪ ♪ And a boner at the same time ♪ ♪ And all the pre-teen boys ♪ ♪ started bursting out and laughed ♪ ♪ Jake never lived that down ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh erections ♪ ♪ A fifth grade girl asked, do erections hurt ♪ ♪ Then the teacher said, no ♪ ♪ Then a fifth grade boy said ♪ ♪ Yes, it does if you’re wearing tight jeans ♪ ♪ If you’re wearing tight jeans ♪ ♪ Erections really hurt ♪ ♪ I have one right now ♪ ♪ Not me, but the kid who asked that ♪ – Oh my gosh. ♪ If my penis gets hard, will it break ♪ ♪ If my penis gets hard, will it break ♪ ♪ If my penis gets hard, will it break ♪ ♪ Yes ♪ ♪ If you’re banging on a granite countertop ♪ ♪ It’ll probably break ♪ ♪ Don’t bang your erection on a granite countertop ♪ ♪ When your penis gets hard ♪ (crew cheers and claps) ♪ If my penis gets hard will it break ♪ – Very specific countertop. – Hey, listen. – Wow. – I think we should drop everything, get in a van and go across the nation to middle schools everywhere, and have you sing that song. ♪ If your penis gets hard, it’ll break ♪ – No, no… ♪ Don’t let it get hard ♪ – Okay, well, we gotta work on the messaging a little bit. (all laugh) – Gotta buy a lot of granite. – Okay. – How do they sing and dance at the same time? – They’re very, very in shape. Okay. – Oh man. – I think that worked out beautifully. Hopefully you were educated today, or at least you know the questions that the children are asking out there these days and the things that you need to have answers to. If you’ve got teens in your life that are asking difficult questions about sex, those are the questions. It’s all real. Thanks to Emily, incredible job. And thank you to Josh. (all clap) – Josh, man. So good. – That’s why I hae subway tile countertops, so it doesn’t break. – That’s right. – Hard to clean though. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You guys say you know what time it is. – [Both] You know what time it is. – I am Mina Zenovsky. – And I’m Marie Colorado. – We’re from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and we just graduated. – [Both] And now it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Congratulations, it’s all downhill from there. – No, it’s not. – No, no, it’s great. No, it’s great. Click the top link to watch us play Would You Rather Prom edition and Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] Check out Link and his Dad, Charles, on the latest episode of “Dispatches from Myrtle Beach”. This season’s filled with even more dirty jokes, funny stories, and of course, shagging.