This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing, son? I’m doing pretty good, Dad. I’m back in my zone after, you know, our Thanksgiving visit. Last time I saw you was in person. That would be correct. That was great. That would be your whirlwind visit, wouldn’t you say that was kind of a whirlwind visit? Yeah, I call it a surgical strike, you know, it’s where we’re being very specific about it. But we had, we had all day. Well, I mean, we had all afternoon by the time we were able to get on the right time zone. We had, we had most of the And we got there at what, 11. 30? Well you, I mean, 11 o’clock? Before the food was ready? Uh, yeah, you got there about, about around 12, 12:15, And then 11:30, okay. Uh, but, and then, and then, We stayed a little, bit, we stayed a little bit longer than I did. I, we, Nancy and I left about eight o’clock where we’d been, but, uh, uh, Well, you had, you had put in a lot of work, so you needed to retire earlier than, Yeah, I was, I was, uh, of course, there was a lot of people, TC and Nancy and a lot of people, but yeah, I started the day before getting everything ready because TC had other stuff going on with, uh, the loss of her mother in law. So, uh. And it was, I mean, you had planned on cooking the chickens and everything and you really came through. So when I got there, the chickens were done. I mean, by the time I got there at 11:30, you had started, at like, what, eight o’clock that morning or something? Mm, started about quarter after seven. Oh, well, let me tell you, and I already told you this, but I’ll tell you for the benefit of our Myrtle Beasts that you did it again. You pleased the crowd with your meat grilling skills, and not to mention your sauce making skills, your signature Charles sauce, which, what did we decide to call it? I can’t, uh, it’s done left me, left me too, Link. Y’all gotta email us. Logan can’t remember either. We said it on the show? I thought we did and I thought it was slightly inappropriate which I gotta, I gotta kick out of. But that’d be, hey. Somebody will remind us. That’d be kinda like my hat. You see my hat? Nobody gets my barbecue recipe. And it’s got, it’s got a knockoff Tasmanian Devil on it. That would be correct. I had a friend of mine from church to make me this hat because I had cooked for the Sunday school class and they asked about the barbecue sauce and I said nobody, I said I had four, I’m on my fourth wife, nobody’s got my recipe yet. So he made me this hat. Yeah, it does have a homemade vibe to it. Yeah. I mean, I don’t think he had to pay to Looney Tunes is what I’m saying for that Tasmanian devil likeness. Yeah. But I like, I like the sentiment. I like the sentiment pretty, and I like the Tasmanian devil. Maybe he’s not from Tasmania. Maybe he is a Madagascarian devil. I don’t, I don’t know. He’s a little bit different, but I like it. I don’t mean to be, uh, critical. Dad. I love it. It’s great. It’s a beautiful hat. But, but, but we, we had a great Thanksgiving. We did. I’m telling you. We, yeah. I was talking to Christy about it too. She was like, you know what? This is one of the best. We’re talking at the same time. I’ll let you talk. No, I’ll let you talk. It’s your, it’s your show. How many people? But I think 32. I can believe it because Nancy’s family showed up. Yep. And then we had The Neal’s show up and then we had the honey cuts I mean, yep TC’s, TC’s family and out there on the we had never been out there at the, at the farm at Kurt’s house. So it’s the first time we were able to take in all these chicken coops and all types of vehicles. You can get from here to there and in any type of vehicle, a truck, a bigger truck, a tractor, a bigger tractor, an even bigger tractor, A four wheel drive, uh, Kubota. Kubota something or other. I don’t know that. Or on foot. Yep. Mule. You could also ride a mule. There was a couple of those there. And Lincoln and Lando got to drive one of them little four wheel drive things. Hold the chickens. Those are some weird looking chickens. Yeah, hold the chicken. And I, we took pictures so he could take them back to school and, and show where you and you came from and what it was like and what, and what a real chicken coop is. I know what a chicken coop is. Do what? I, you’re talking about me? I know what a chicken coop. No, no. All the people where he goes to school. Oh yeah. Damn. No, I know. You know what it is I’m talking about. There’s some highfalutin, uh. Farm types in LA who is, I think it is legal in certain places to have a chicken coop at your house and where I walk my dogs, uh, I, I think there’s two neighbors of mine that have chicken coops and only one of them has chickens in it. It still stands. The coop, I mean. Uh oh. He’s tired of the hat. Look at that. You, what happened? What happened to your Tasmanian devil? What? And he can’t get his headphones back on. Y’all. Dad has, has, he has removed his hat in protest. And it has taken him a while to figure out how to get his headphones back on. Actually, I, I don’t, I actually don’t know you. And what do you mean you and hats? I don’t wear them much. Okay. Well, as a matter of fact, hardly any at all, but that’s all right. All right. Well, you look, you look good in it while it lasted. Okay. All right. What was I talking about? How, how good of a time we had, and the chickens and you know, Nana was there and she was looking good. Looking like a blonde bombshell. And, um, what else? We had a, quite a spread. I mean, all of your barbecue chickens, you did a, you did some barbecue, barbecue too, some pork butt. Yes, I did. Boston did some Boston butts. And I made sure and fix, uh, well us two, but I, I made sure that I fixed Christy some collards too. I noticed that. Did she notice? Yeah. Oh yeah, she noticed. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I think Logan’s got it, but Christy came over to me while we were getting all the food and everything ready. She said, you can’t mess with any of this till I get a picture of it. So she went down through there. Okay. Cooked the collards yesterday. Oh, we got rolls, deviled eggs, lots of collards. Corn, butter beans, mac and cheese, beans, buttered potatoes, slaw, barbecue, and look at all of that chicken. Oh my gosh! Woo wee! That tasted good. And we had enough to feed 60 people instead of 30. Yeah, I know. You had a lot of leftovers. I, you know, I went back up there three times. First time, I was getting my thighs. Second time, I was getting another thigh and some more. You know, TC, she has the signature baked beans, which we got to say a little piece about how good they are. There’s almost as much hamburger as there’s beans in it. And this is splendid. It’s wonderful. Collards were great too. You know, Christy’s turned me on to collards because I know how much they turn her on. You know what I’m saying? So I had to start liking some collards after that. And then that chicken, third time I went back, I said, you know what? And you did chicken halves. So there was the white meat half and the dark meat. Or quarters. Yep. Quarters. And um, yeah, cause when I would, you had done it so right, cause when I grabbed that thigh, and man, you know what, I elected to not have a chicken leg this time. So I would pick up the thigh and I would just give it a little twist. And then it would come right separated from that leg. And I would take my thigh and leave the leg for somebody who just wanted a leg. I hope that’s okay. That’s a testimony to some slow smoked chicken right there. And then when I went back for a third time, I said, you know what? I’m just going to get some wings. Of course, the wings were all attached to the breast. You made it a package deal. But you, you knew what I discovered, which was, you just grab that wing just right. Just give it, I mean, you almost just have to touch it and it’ll separate right from that breast and come right off and then you got a plate full of wings. For those that just wanted breast, I did them a favor, is what I was telling myself. It’s at Thanksgiving when, if I’m cooking, you eat it like you want to eat it. That’s quite all right. You notice there was something that wasn’t there on that spread. At all, not to be found, not to be seen, not to be mentioned. Turkey. Turkey, no turkey to be found. No dressing. There wasn’t, there was no dressing, there was dressing. Creamed potatoes. Oh, so we, we had an alternative meal there, you know. Yeah, we didn’t know. No turkey. I mean, I ate three bona fide Thanksgiving meals in my surgical strike to North Carolina, and none of them. I repeat none of them had turkey. And so I’m not the only one who’s not a turkey guy. There’s people who, Are you sure that? People giving up on it left and right. It’s like, you know, alcohol people are giving up on alcohol ’cause they realize how much of a poison it is. I think people are giving up on turkey for Thanksgiving. Mark my words. Next year there’ll be news stories about it. You, are you sure that them people, uh, just didn’t have turkeys because you didn’t like turkey? Uh, no, they’re not changing the whole menu just for me. I’m not going to flatter myself with that. My sister in law is not, is not, they just didn’t like turkey. They don’t, they don’t, they don’t care about turkey either. People laughed at me, Link, when I told them you didn’t want no turkey, but you wanted some of my barbecued chicken. They say, turkey. Chicken. It’s, it’s a burden. I said, it’s not the same. It’s not the same. Yeah. I mean, who would even be saying that? Someone who’s never had turkey. Or who’s never had my barbecue chicken. Well that too. I don’t, listen. Yeah. I did not hear one complaint. Oh no. Nobody was like, well, where’s the turkey? I heard some relief, some relief. Oh, there’s no turkey. Yeah, there was a buzz about the place. Did you notice what my contribution was though? I did bring something and I did contribute to the, to the festivities. Uh, I’m sorry, I missed that. Well, I mean, you were there. Okay, that’s a good start. Yep. I brought myself. Thank you, Dad. And Lincoln, and Landau, and Christie. That’s right. I brought, I brought most of my family. Not really, but, um, but yeah, that’s true. Those two things are very important. It was the third thing that I brought too. I set it out there under the, under the, um, under the shelter to create some ambience. Oh, you, yes, you did. You give us some ambience and with some music, where you you were the DJ. That’s right. I wouldn’t say I was a DJ, I, you know, I had the aux. I was just, I was playing the music. Yeah. You know, I was just trying to keep the mood, trying to keep the mood up. Yeah. I wish I could have gotten there. Honestly, I wish I could have gotten there Early that morning. So I could have hung out with you while you were cooking on the grill. And I could have, uh, I could, you know, I could have pointed at things. So, but the time, the time difference was just kicking my butt. That’s all right. Hey, we had a great time. We just had a great time. And you know, I kind of understand what you, I mean, we fly out and then I work some at your studio there and different stuff, and it, you just, and when you’re gonna do it in three days, it’s, uh, get there on Wednesday and fly out on Saturday morning at 6:15, Wheeeew, baby! That’s the only direct flight back. I mean, we had to get up to fly back at 3 A.M. My alarm went off, which is, uh, midnight, Pacific time. And we landed, I got home at 11 AM Pacific time. I thought you, I thought you text me about 11 AM said you were back. And landed or something, but maybe that was when you got home. I don’t know. So 11 hours, but so it was an 11 hour from like door to door, but it was like, that was, it was tough getting up at midnight, my destination time in order to do that, but it’s only direct flight. And then we got back and it’s like, had the whole day. To sleep. That’s what I text you on it, y’all. Now I get to sleep. Y’all get to the house and get you some rest and take a nap. And you know, Mom was there, which was cool. Yeah, she’s always invited. Did she have any feedback, uh, for you about the podcast? Because she’ll mention something to me about the podcast. She, uh, she did kind of bring up, she said, because your mama watches the, what we do. Uh huh. And watches the podcast, and she said, I saw the one where you kind of threw me under the bus about something, and I kind of said, What are you talking about, Sue? She said, Yeah, you, you, you made kind of fun that Link was like this because of her. Like what? And not me. I don’t know. I didn’t even get the whole thing, but I mean. Oh, she was talking about something about being emotional. Yeah, something. Like crying or something. Yeah. Yeah. I. Maybe that was it. I don’t know. But you get emotional. I don’t know if that was it. There was something else where, Charles, you were like, you don’t get that from me. And then you were like, oh, I must get that from mom. Yeah. But I can’t remember what it was. Oh yeah, that’s what it was. But I think it was. Yeah. She remembers. Yeah. She remembers clearly from being underneath that bus. So we got to be careful. We’re not, we’re not throwing mom under the bus anymore. We’re going to leave her out of this. Oh, because she does listen. She’s not like, Nana, I’m gonna do my best not to throw your mom under the bus, bus anymore. Right. Okay. I’m not gonna make no more pro, no make no promises about that. . The one thing you do need to promise is, um, maybe you’re breaking out that grill for next Thanksgiving too. Well, that’ll, that’ll probably happen. I, we’ll have to figure out what. We got a whole, about a whole year now to figure out. All right. You may, you may be wanting to have ribs again. Can’t ever tell. I know. That’s what, that’s what, that’s what Lincoln was asking about. I said, well, too many people this year. Maybe next year. The holidays are right around the corner. Show someone special you love them by giving them the gift of the Mythical Cookbook this year. Available now wherever books are sold. Order your copy now at mythicalcookbook. com. Do you need a gift idea or last minute gift? This Christmas, it’s your gift. Give the gift that truly keeps on giving a lifetime membership to Rosetta Stone. It’s perfect for anyone looking to learn or improve their language skills. And right now Rosetta Stone is offering 50 percent off all 25 languages for a lifetime and no shipping fees. Rosetta Stone has been a trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. They use an intuitive process that is designed for long term retention. There are no English translations. So you really learn to speak, listen, and think in that language. Plus, their built in true accent feature gives you feedback on your pronunciation. It’s like having a personal trainer for your accent. Don’t put off learning that language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. Today, Dispatches for Myrtle Beach listeners can get Rosetta Stone’s Lifetime Membership for 50 percent off. Visit rosettastone. com/dispatches. That’s 50 percent off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50 percent off at rosettastone. com slash dispatches today for yourself or as a gift that keeps giving. It’s time for another edition of I’ll help you get out of the woods. Link, I got an email from Amanda. Okay. And she wants me to help get her out of the woods and you too. Me. All right. Hit me. Yeah. And she says, Hey Charles, my name is Amanda. I am a, I’m in a bit of a predicament this Christmas. My whole family is coming into town and many are staying at my house. Several of them plan to, in my opinion, overstay their welcome by staying until Sunday the 29th. I love them, but come on. I’m so bad at lying, but I need to come up with an excuse for why they can’t stay that long. Help me, please. See, cause this, I, see, this is why I do the surgical strike. And our family got so big, and like, literally, the, not just the number of people, but the size of the people in my family. Like, Lincoln has gotten so big, Lando has gotten so big that now we had to do an Airbnb thing so that we’re not, like, coming out the windows of relatives homes when we come home and visit. So, I can relate to this from the visitor’s side, and saying, you know what, we gotta, we gotta get in, we gotta get out before, before things start to, you know. That, so yeah, I’m Amanda. I’m feeling your pain and I’m hoping that dad will have some help for you. Go for it. Oh, you, you, you just threw all that rock back on me. Well, it’s to you. It’s your email address. Okay. And you’re, you’ve been the host before. So what, how is she going to get rid of these relatives? She, you need to list, let they speak. people know that you may have to tell a little white lie. Oh, I’m listening. That you’ve got some plans the day after Christmas, and you’ve got to leave the next day and you, you, you’re going somewhere. So you’re going to have to kind of tell them that maybe if y’all want to stay that long and maybe with the stuff that I’ve got going on that, uh, I just can’t have all of y’all at the house. Okay. I’ll set something up for you where you can get a nice room at a motel, and it’s close to the house. Oh, are you paying for that? Oh, no, I ain’t paying for it. They paying for it. I mean, if they want to come travel and I’m feeding them, they can get their own hotel room. Well, what is it, they’ll ask, what, what is it that you have to go do? We can just stay at your house. We’ll, we’ll keep a watch on things while you go do your, do, do your thing. Oh no, I have things planned with other people, and I love you as a family, but I got friends that we have plans, and you just can’t stay at my house all the way through. What about, what about, there’s some sort of. exterminator coming in. What about that? What about we’re fumigating? And is that better? Because if you’re traveling, then all of a sudden you got to support, I’m leaving the house, I got something I got to do. Then you’ve got to actually, like, what if they find out you’re still at home? That white lie gets real bright. Oh my goodness. Well, it’s like, well, where did you go? How did your thing go? Where, where were you? Can I see some pictures? I want evidence, you know? Is probably what they’re gonna ask. But if it’s more about, you can’t be in the house because it’s being fumigated. That’s what I’m thinking. Or you, she could tell him that, uh, I’m thinking about and I’m having my bathroom redone, but I don’t know if she wants to do that either. That’d be, uh, then the next time to come to bathroom might not be redone. So it might not be, I don’t know. Might be the same. I got it redone exactly the same. You know, I, I really liked how it was just a fresh coat of, you know, everything. Yeah. That’s not going to work. Again, I’m, I’m pushing you to fumigation because it’s temporary. It’s life threatening. Yeah. Uh, I’ve, I’ve had this set up and it takes months for these, to get these people where they’re going to come in and it’s the only time they can show up. Yeah. Right after Christmas, between Christmas and New Year’s is the only time they could do it, but it’s, it’s a special deal. Yeah. Holiday deal. Where it saves me money. Yep. Yeah. Saves me money. Where it saves me money. All that money I spent on food and stuff for y’all to come for a few reasonable days. I’m, I’m making that up by saving on the fumigation and y’all can stay if you want, but I just be, I’m just be afraid that it might make you sick. You know, uh, Amanda, as you can see, it’s kind of, your family’s like everybody else’s family. Don’t think you’re left out cause Nancy and I’ve had this to happen with us and, and What’d you do? We’ve just had to decide that it won’t gonna happen anymore. Yeah. And you have to just tell people that, you know, I’m glad you’re coming and you can stay, and I love you as a family, but you just can’t stay here that long. and you need to get a place of your own. Well, they need to go back. They need to go back where they came from. Or just go back home. Go back to where you came from with, you know, we need to leave on a high note, you know, you don’t, you know, we enjoyed Christmas and we liked all the pictures we took. Yeah, you know, we’ll take the pictures and then you just head on out. And it’s a tough call, but, uh, in this day and age, it’s You have to stick up for how you feel and what you want to do. So, uh, I agree. And so you’re saying just talk it out. Of course, you, you, you might, you may need to realize that the next time you’re going to go visit them, they’re not going to want you to stay four or five days either. So you need to remember that too. Yeah. That’s true. What comes around goes around. Uh huh. I endorse. But I mean, it’s, it can’t hurt to know a good exterminator just as a backup. No, that’s all I’m saying. I don’t know if, I don’t, I don’t know if I helped you or not. Sounds like Link might’ve helped you a little bit more than I did, but, uh, you know, sometimes you just have to be frank with your kin people and, um, And of course, my wife tells me, Nancy tells me, said, you know, you, sometimes you can be a little too frank. Right. Yeah. The way that you said it, it starts off good. Like, you know, I love you. You’re my family and I’m so glad that you’re here, but I need you to get out. You know, it’s like you take at a certain point, it always takes a turn to over to being very frank. Yeah. Like, you need to go back to your house. And when I come to you, I won’t stay that long either, cause I can’t be around you in your house either. Yep. Yeah. So. Well, good luck at this Christmas, Amanda. Yep. Yeah. Send us another, send us another email and let us know how it went. Whether or not we helped or not. Yeah, let us know. Do not send us the exterminator bill though. It’s time for Match My Freak, whatever that means. We got another episode that’s called Match My Freak, whatever that means. Well, Match My Freak means, um, you know, you gotta be me and I gotta be you. So you, you really, you want That would be correct. That was, yeah. Now last time, last time you impersonated me at, uh, Well, it was, it almost, it threatened to hurt my feelings. So here you are trying to do it again. Uh, I’m going to go first though, cause, uh, I can’t do an impression with hurt feelings. So I’m going to do my impression of you again. Well, you know, we had a good Thanksgiving. We had all of our kin there and people were lined up asking me. About my sauce. My special barbecue sauce, and you know what I said? I said, Listen, I’ve had four wives. Ain’t none of them know my recipe. So you think I’m gonna give it to you? And that was not a proposal, by the way. Haha, did you think it was? Nope, that would be incorrect. Hahaha! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy. Everybody loves my sauce. It’s my special sauce. I’ve had, you know how many wives I’ve had? More than you can count on a hand if it doesn’t have a thumb and, and it’s missing a finger. I got, I’ve had more wives than you’ve got fingers if you’re missing one. That’s what I’m saying. Mm hmm. That’s right. Well, you know, I, I, I hate to bring this up, but, uh, I can kind of be a danger to myself. And, uh, I, I was looking at a video I had again that was on Good Mythical Morning the other day. And, you know, they, they won’t let me have no knives on the set. They had something lit up for me with a, some kind of bowling ball or something, and I was, uh, had it and they were afraid I was going to throw it on somebody or catch myself on fire. And I don’t want to be caught on fire. And I also don’t, don’t understand, you know, when they keep bringing, they just keep giving me these sharp objects, and then, as Rhett would say, Who keeps giving me these? Who keeps giving you these things? And, uh, so, you have to be really care, I have to be really careful, because I have cut my finger before. And, uh, I don’t know how bad it was, but I might could have, I could have almost cut it off. And, and, and not, and then I’d have been like this and wouldn’t have had a finger no more. We’re both talking about losing a finger. What would I have done? You know, whatever you’re doing with me, please don’t give me things that can be dangerous to me because, What is this voice? I could get really hurt. Can you describe the voice that you’re doing? It’s kind of like you, describe the voice. It’s soft spoken and proper. Why is it so proper? You are kind of soft spoken and proper. I mean, with what you do and with the things that you do and, uh, trouble that you can get into, so, uh, you know, I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get in trouble anymore. Oh, this is, this is what, this is to teach me a lesson. This is to keep me safe. That would be correct. That’s not, hold on. That’s not my catchphrase. It’s your catchphrase. It would be like, you said it. Okay. So you like my, do you like my glasses? They’re great, Link. I love your glasses. Yeah, you look like a serial killer. No, you mean a serial killer for yourself? Yeah, yeah, because I’m a danger to myself. All right, I’ve had enough. Mercy! Mercy! Take them off, Dad! Take them off! Take off the glasses! I love the fact that you picked up on the missing finger thing, though. Let me see that. Yeah. Let me see that again. You know what? I got more wives than you’ve got fingers. And you’ve got more danger than I got. All right, I’ll own it. I’ll own it. Oh, me. Well, Link, and all you Myrtle Beasts, it was fun having you all here with us today. And we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. And if you’ve got a question, comment, or story, you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbeshaggin53@aol.com. And y’all have a great rest of the week and hopefully you don’t chop off your fingers next time. Love you son. Love you too dad.