Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re gonna share with each other and with you, our winter breaks. What the heck happened on our winter breaks? Because we weren’t together. Something happened to you, because you sound different. You know, well yeah, I’ll kick it off with that. I think that, you know when we go on our breaks and we do stuff separate that Ear Biscuits is the place where we come back together. Yeah. And we share, In fact, we just give each other an update. just a second ago, I was telling you about something that I was going to tell you about and I was like dropping my audio out, as I was telling you, so that I couldn’t, that I would wait to tell you now. It’s like, I didn’t notice, what do you mean dropping your audio? I was basically like saying, “Yeah, so what’s up?” You know? The equivalent would be like, “And then the so and so happened to the so and so.” You know? Oh you were Yes. Editing yourself. Right. So that you Yes. Could tell me for real is now? Right. Yeah, so that’s what we’re gonna do. But, I do wanna say, next week, we’re gonna start Oh yeah, next week. We’re gonna start something that, how would you even describe it? I know, I don’t– What we’re gonna do? Well, yeah we’re gonna devote a number of episodes to a topic that we’ve been, just in the back of our minds, there’s been something that’s just been percolating, for, maybe for years. And I mean the thing that we’re gonna talk about for, you know, it’s been over, for decades. A lifetime. A lifetime, decades. We’re gonna share about some stuff, that we’ve never shared before. With, ever. With any audience, Publicly. So we’ve decided that we wanna talk about it, here on Ear Biscuits next weekend. 2020, man, Whoa boy! I know that’s just a big tease, but, It is a big tease. That’s what you gotta do in this business, Link! Man, I’m looking at my watch, because I’m seeing if my heart rate’s going up. I guess, Hold on. You know, I’m kind of gathering my thoughts, but, they’re not But you’re Fully gathering. Heart rate has gone up at weird times. We were doing something the other day, just like having a discussion amongst like four people. Yeah. And all of a sudden, you got your alarm, and I was like, “What?” Like, I didn’t even say what it was, but you knew that it was an abnormal heart rate? Yeah, because I’ve, it’s gone off before, like. I think it has to do with what I’m dealing with. So just to put a closer on the teaser, and then, Yeah. I’ll get back to the heart rate thing. Yeah, so starting next week, for a few episodes, it’s, TBD. It’s something that we’re gonna, that we’ve made the decisions we’re gonna talk about. And if, maybe even if I didn’t, if we weren’t saying it right now, we might even change our minds. I don’t think so. No, no. But now, we’re definitely not. No we are committed to this. But first, let’s catch up on our breaks . I’m sick. Now, Really? My freaking winter break, has been bookended by sickness. Two distinct types of sickness. Now, the one that happened on the front side, I’m gonna wait to tell you about, because it was just, it was strange. And I do know about that one, because– So strange. It was so strange, you couldn’t not tell me about that one. Right. And it’s one of those things that like, but you know what, when I listen to you tell it, I’m gonna seem like I’ve never heard it before. You don’t have to do that, but, it’s yeah. It was just so strange. It’s worth hearing twice. Right? Sure. And this version will be a little bit embellished, because you’ve had time. And then on the, if I can remember it. I mean, I thought that it was putting my vacation in jeopardy and it was. But then, I was able to go on my vacation, which was, you know, enjoying the holidays here in Los Angeles with my immediate family and then, we went to Mammoth Lakes. Mammoth Mountain is at Mammoth Lakes, right? It’s where you went last year, to go skiing. Usually, I followed in your footsteps, Usually, to Mammoth. we Californians, just say Mammoth. Well I went to Mammoth. Amateurs who have been there one time say, “Mammoth Lakes.” And let’s see, we came back on a Sunday and then the previous Saturday, my last day of skiing, I came down with the sickness that now, man I hope I’m getting over it. I hope I’m not getting it, at all. But, having come back to the office, I’ve heard that a lot of people have had this, I mean, it’s just a head cold. Some people have had like, bronchitis, some people have had other things. Christy had it before vacation. And then Lando had it. And then, I got, when Lando was just getting over it, dag gum it, he gave it to me! Yeah, it makes you hate him, doesn’t it? And so now, and I will say, it’s like the worst head cold I have ever had. The worst sore throat I have ever had in my life. God I feel like I need to wear like a mask. And I didn’t have a fever and I’m almost positive it wasn’t strep throat. I didn’t go to see anybody, because I’m stubborn. But, and I did see gradual improvement, but my throat was hurting so bad. I mean it was like almost in tears kind of like pain, like, That was probably strep throat. And then I was like, “You know what?” Like a sore throat that is, Let’s go get Ramen. That painful? I better– Is usually strep throat. Better to make me feel better, It does usually To get Ramen. resolve itself. Well there was no fever. And sometimes it turns into a deadly disease. Well, That’s what happens with strep. I went and got Ramen and I said, “You know what? “Last time I got Ramen here, “they called it spicy, but it wasn’t. “So make it a little more spicy.” Oh that was a mistake. That was a mistake. Like, and I ate the whole bowl, but the first 15 minutes of eating, like, it was like I was just, I was in torture. Come to find out, when you have like a raw, sore throat, you don’t wanna eat spicy foods, y’all. I don’t know what I was thinking? You wanna eat Ramen. Ramen would’ve been perfect. Ramen, but non spicy! Right. Why did I ask for it more spicy? It was so stupid. Man. And like, You know what Ramen is backwards? Uh. More Ramen, it’s not, really. It’s close. But it seems like it would be. If you would’ve just said it was, Right. I would’ve believed you. It’s almost. My brain is, my head is floating above my neck, Yeah. because it’s decongestive and I’m all I can’t, take advantage of me, man, I can’t think right. It’s actually, Namer. Is what it is backwards, but. Before we went Close to no more. To get Ramen, I had like a Kombucha in the car, because you know, you’ve been talking about this Kombucha you been drinking. I been drinking so much Kombucha. I’m like, “I’m drinking a Kombucha.” And it made me feel, I have a mother better. I have a mother in my stomach. And I, that can happen. That can happen. I know, I want it. You don’t want that. It’s the only way I can give birth. It’s like . A yeast ball. You gonna, you gonna crap out a yeast ball. What a, you think that’s gross. What I’m about to tell you is really gross. Oh gosh, great. While I’m drinking a Kombucha and I’m like, “I think I should gargle with this.” And that was horrible too. Like every, I think, all of my instincts You got a lot Did nothing of bad ideas. But made it worse! Yeah you started 2020 off on the wrong foot, man. With a lot of bad ideas. Yeah and, I think I’m getting over it, but this morning, I got up. And, you know, you’re up for a few minutes and things start to drain, and start to settle and like you can start to breathe through your nose a little bit. You hadn’t been nettying any? I did some Netti pottying. I took Jade outside and when I’m out there with her, like I had walked down the stairs out the front, I got enough body movement that like, there was some drainage and I like, I hocked up a loogie, okay? Oh gosh. And I’m outside waiting for her to pee, and so I spit it out. I’m sorry this is gross, but it’s just, it’s what happens. And I look down and it’s, Well it’s what happens. You don’t have to tell, listen, a lot of things It was bloody. Happened to me today, that I’m not gonna tell you about. Well I’m telling you it was bloody. But I could tell by the way that it came up, that it was like, it was a, it was a weird consistency. So I, I bent down and I picked it up. And it was, What is wrong with you? You know, if you’ve like, if you like have a grape and you like squeeze the innards out of a grape and all you’re left with is the skin of the grape? That’s what I spit up, but it was blood colored. I freaking spit up a scab, the size of a grape. That came out of my nose! Like, You had, Somewhere in between, like the back of my nose, top of my throat, where it was hurting the worst? Apparently, I have a wound. Yeah, you had strep throat, man! Or something worse! You wanna see it, I have it right here. No! It makes me think of that, Hold on, you took a picture of it? No, I was gonna pull it out of my pocket, the actual grape. I’m sorry for grossing y’all out, but, I actually feel a little better, now that I’ve told you about it. It made me think of that scene in Buddy System Season 2, where I burn your tongue with coffee, and then you can no longer be a professional food taster. And but then at the end, whenever I fail you, in the tournament, you start talking funny and you realized that your tongue scab is coming off and you pull like a big scab off of your tongue? That was so gross. And we originally scripted it so that when you pulled the scab off of your tongue, you were then gonna stretch it out and tie it around your head like a headband. Yeah, yeah. That was our, that’s what we scripted. That was a little too gross. And then we got notes that it was a little too much. Kind of like my story. The tongue scab and it was alone, was enough. So I think I’m well on my way to recovery, now that I spit out that scab. Golly man! You been hanging out with me all morning. Yep, I wish you hadn’t told me that. I still feel like shit. And I’m just, you know, no bones about it. Okay. All right. But I’m here. I’m here for y’all. Somehow I’ve avoided this and it just, I just had this impending sense of doom, because everybody’s gotten sick and I just haven’t gotten sick and I just. Yeah, you’ll get it. Uh! And you’ll hate it. Because it doesn’t go away quickly. It’s miserable, man. It’s miserable. Okay, well thanks for that, Link. I feel like we can go home now. I’m sorry. You know? I can’t not be me. And I just think there’s something to learn from that. Well, but I’m gonna go back to what I said, again, I mean, I could describe some like bodily things that happen to me, today, this week, that I just kind of I keep to myself, you know? I mean there’s, I appreciate you being vulnerable and I appreciate you being open about your experiences, but. I mean things have come out of me, as well. It’s one of those sicknesses where– But it’s kind of just between me and myself. You know what I mean? You know when you’re in the worst of it, you’re like, “If I ever get better. “When I get better, because I believe I’m gonna get better, “I’m gonna be so grateful for feeling well. You don’t follow, “I’m never gonna.” You don’t follow my Twitter, apparently. That’s what this just represents. Really? Yeah. You tweeted about this? I tweeted this very concept. It doesn’t work right? Then you get well and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I’m just normal. “There is no gratefulness.” Yeah and you think about how grateful you’re gonna be when you’re not sick, when you’re sick. That’s why when I get home, I’m gonna go find that scab and I’m gonna take it inside and it’s gonna be a memento. You’re gonna take it for granted, you’re gonna take it for granted, just like everybody does. I’m gonna carry it around in my pocket, And then you get sick again. And I’m never gonna forget. I’m never gonna forget. How was your vacation? Well let me see how many loogies I hocked up. It was great. You know what, actually, You didn’t get sick? It was just kind of, it was okay. Yeah, I know man that’s how I feel. I’m gonna tell you all about my okay, I’m gonna tell you all about my okay break. But first, we’re gonna let you know that you can Well that’s a great teaser. Get this, Good Mythical Morning sweatshirt. It’s very, it’s kind of cold in this building right now. It’s 68 degrees outside. But our office, they’ve tried to get the heater working and I know you’re like, “68, why is the heat on?” Well because, it’s like 40 in the morning. And I want a little heat. Well, we can’t get any heat in our office. No matter, you know, If you want heat, go to mythical.com and get yourself a, And so I just, I wear a hoodie. Flame on a shirt. I don’t need heat. There’s a flame on the shirt. And if you rub it, it gets hotter and that’s the case with all shirts, by the way, that’s not a special feature of this one. But I made it seem like it was. I’d say it’s the case with everything. It’s just the case, with everything that you can buy, with friction. You can buy all types of stuff at mythical.com. If you rub any of it, it’s gonna get hotter. Yeah, yeah. We’re gonna put that on the banner. Rub it and it’ll get hotter. Our clothes, now with friction. I mean we got all types, we got necklaces, lip balm, rub any of it, it’s gonna get hotter. That’s true. Rep your boys. Mythical.com. My, What’d you do? It’s not, it wasn’t a vacation. Can I just say that? Because people, You can say that. people, people say, “How was your Christmas vacation?” Let’s call it a winter break for you. I’m like, and it wasn’t even much of a break. Oh! I don’t know how to, It was a break from work. It was, but, I’m a workaholic, Link. Oh. Which is something that I, which is something that I already knew. But, I typically have, December rolls around. Yeah? And there’s like a bunch of things that sort of build up. “Oh yeah, I’m gonna do that over break. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that over break. “I’ll do that over break.” And I had a list of things. I didn’t get to any of them. I mean maybe like one thing. And so, actually, And now you feel bad about it and that’s not right. Well no, I had this, I discussed this with my therapist last night, actually. I’ll discuss it with you now. But this sense of anxiety that was building, Yeah. because I wasn’t getting to the things and I was like, “Oh what’s gonna happen is, “break’s gonna get over, be over, “and then I’m gonna have all this stuff “that I gotta go do right at the top of the year “and I don’t wanna do that. “And I’m anxious about it.” That’s, I mean, yeah and that’s what happened to me when I got back yesterday into the office. That’s why my watch went off. My heart rate went through the roof for a second. Is we were just talking about something that I felt like that we were losing control of. Well the thing that I realized yesterday is, when we had a conversation about it, that’s when I started feeling better. Because it started feeling like, “Okay, now things are actually happening “and like, now people are saying, “well I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna do this “and you’re gonna do this.” And it’s like get some Yeah, but what you did Clarity came. Which yeah, you and I’m No work was done. I’m good. Let me just let me just be very clear. No work was actually done. It was just meetings. I’m good at just pretending that there’s nothing to be done, until you bring it up and gain clarity and start to feel better. What you’re doing is you’re transferring all the stress to me. That’s what happened. But, I also, I love my family. Let me be clear about this. But when you are the one in the family who has moved away and you come back, you gotta see everybody. Yeah. And you gotta see everybody kind of like and your time ends up kind of getting scheduled, and it’s not necessarily, there’s nothing relaxing about it. It’s not like going on a vacation, is what I’m getting at. And so it doesn’t have the same sort of emotional effect that a vacation has. You going somewhere? I just took my jacket off. Don’t let me distract you. No, you’re dressed like you’re going somewhere. Oh! You got an interview . I thought if I put on a button up, it would make me feel better and seem less sick. I’m freaking glassy eyed and tail droopy. You know, I’m just trying, I’m trying to muster some sort of reason to go on. If you are going to an interview, I suggest a tie, just don’t do that. But, Jessie and I did have a little bit of a break. So we, and of course we were in North Carolina for almost two weeks, seeing everybody. And the good news is, that everyone’s close together, so and I stay in the same place, so it’s like when you guys go back, you have to go to all these different places. So we don’t have to do that. North Carolina. But, we were there like I said, almost two weeks and then right after Christmas, Jessie and I decided, well we had already decided this. We’re gonna go get a little time away and we’re gonna go to Asheville. Leave the kids with which is like Nashville your parents? Without an N. And it’s the place that if you live in Los Angeles and you say you’re from North Carolina, they’re like, “Asheville?” Like it’s the only thing that people know about North Carolina in L.A. is, Yeah. “Asheville?” Cool spot. That’s because it’s super cool. But no, Mountains. But you don’t know anybody who lives there. But, it’s a cool place to go. That Grove Park Inn, that big old historic hotel, with the giant spa. I got my massage on, et cetera. You stayed there? Yeah. And, brilliant plan! You left the kids with like, I don’t even know. Listen, I lost track Cousins. I’m not kidding. I lost track of my children. Both of them. But they were in– for multiple days. They were under care of relatives. I assume so! Okay, well how was Asheville? And I’m not joking about this. Especially the 15 year old. Like at one point, I saw him, and then like six days later, I saw him again. Okay. I was like, “Are you brushing your teeth?” Like I just, “Are you taking care of yourself? “Who’s feeding you?” Well I can guarantee he looks better than you do. I mean, you look like you rolled off a, look at that, your hair, man. Is every, when you went home, did everybody have to say, have to give an assessment? Interestingly, no. I think they just are a little worried. Everybody just kind of no longer made eye contact? Yeah, they’re just a little worried and Like caveman. Won’t mention it. Yeah, I mean even when I saw you yesterday. I was like, took my breath away. I’ve lost, well thanks, Link. I’ve lost a little control. It actually has become, it was a burden, I will say, I don’t wanna talk about my hair at all, really. But only thing I’ll say is, it has become a burden. You’ll fit in in Asheville. We have gotten Mountain men. To burden stage. It doesn’t seem like you’re burdened at all. And I thought that was the point. It takes a lot of time to make it look like I don’t care. Okay. So, we went to Asheville and you may remember from and we had a great time. You may remember, last year. If you happened to be A long time listener. A student of my Instagram . I’m, in 2020, I’m not gonna use the term follower, for any of my social media. I’m just gonna use the term student. And so, I got a belt with my name on it last year. This is what we’re talking about. Yeah. Okay. I remember that belt. Jessie and I, you’ve been wearing that belt, all year. Every single day. With few exceptions, I wore that belt. Okay. With my name on it. It hit me about November of last year, “You know what, I should do a belt again this year.” And then it was just like, “I should do a belt every year. “A belt every year should be my new thing.” Do you know anybody else who does that? Uh, I saw someone, I probably do, but they don’t think it’s worth sharing. I saw what they call some white space in the belt every year, you know, area. So, okay. So, I thought I was gonna go down to Olvera Street, where the, that’s where the guy made my belt last year. Here in L.A. Not Asheville. But, you know, I failed to do that, because of all the stuff we had to do and what not and that I was anxious about. Don’t blame it that I didn’t On me. Actually do it. And, but there was a very fine leather shop. I would give them a shout out, but I already forgot the name. Oh! It’s next to the Early Girl Eatery, in Asheville, which is also a really good place to eat. Good spot, yeah. Yeah, Jenna knows about that, we ate there. It was the pilot for They got some biscuits, for, Commercial Kings. Commercial Kings. Well, couple doors down from that, is this leather place and the dude has a large assortment of antique belt buckles, along with all the leathery that he will do, I don’t know if that’s a word. I didn’t read many of the signs. But I was like, “Hell yeah. “I’m gonna get a belt buckle this time. “Not just a belt. “I’m gonna get a belt with my name on it. “And a belt buckle.” Ladies and gentleman, if you’re watching this, you’ll have to wait, if you’re listening. But this is my new belt. That’s my new belt buckle. Oh! Look at that! That, Look at that. Is a, should I put the microphone up to it? Yeah. If you wanna hear what it sounds like. That’s a wooden belt buckle. with the dessert scene on it. Try not to show any skin, tuck in your sweatshirt. No. Tuck in the sweatshirt. Huh, that’s good. Eh! I got a little happy trail. I’m gonna take it off and show it. Because I’m gonna let you examine it. Hold on this is, Turning into a different kind of shoot? This is bringing back flashbacks of my babysitter’s husband, when he’d come home from work. So this is a little bit, He would just come home from work and take off his belt. This is a little bit different. Now, Paul Taylor Custom Paul Taylor Custom Sandals and Belts? Paul’s Tailored Custom That it? Sandals and Belts, sounds about right? Custom sandals? And belts. So, now, you may remember. This is, let me, can I describe what I’ve seen, because they’re Yeah, yeah. Frustrated? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what Rhett has taken off from his waist, Is a belt. It is a warm belt. Matter of fact, it’s hot to the touch on the back of the buckle. Yeah, yeah. It’s a metal buckle. I been thinking real hard. And it’s got wood in there. Uh-huh. I think, or that could be jasper. I think it’s wood. It’s wood, man. There’s a Saguaro cactus, I went to the wood section. There is a freaking setting sun over the Monument Valleyesque That’s it. Desert formation. It’s a desert scene. Mm-hmm . On an oval belt buckle. On a leather belt. And let me tell you about the design on the belt. I can’t remember the name of this, what this is but, I think it’s called, “Sage Brush.” It’s called tooling. Now, last year, it was really haphazard and he did it really quick. This guy had to mail me this belt, because he was like, “It’s gonna take me “you know, I can’t finish this today.” Because this is like this thing they like roll it through this thing and it’s got this it’s sort of this cactus theme, but then when you get to the middle, just check out what I did there. It seems that Rhett has commissioned the writing of something. It’s hard to see, because it’s in old, Of the back. It’s in Old English. But what does it say, Link? Zarezo. Zarezo. Zare, oh, no, no, no. Z-O Rhett, Zo. 20, Oh! Yeah. 20 Rhett 20. That’s right. I got a, I got a belt with they year and my name on it. Eh! And that is what I’m doing from here on out, ladies and gentleman and then my kids can fight over daddy’s belt collection when I die. So it says 20 Rhett 20. I’m not gonna give it to both of them. What year is it? 20 Rhett 20. In my will, it’s going to say, “A fight to the death between my sons, “is how you determine who gets the belt collection.” So when you die, you want one of your sons To die. To then also die, for somebody to get your belt collection. The son that loses the fight, is buried with me. With no belt? It’s so many belts, man, just divide up the belts. This is, let me tell you right now, I didn’t, this belt got pricey real quick. The one on Olvera Street, went 40 bucks. I wanna know– for a custom belt. I don’t even care. I wanna know how much you paid for it. Well you got, the thing that gets it up there, is the belt buckle. Did he make that? This belt buckle. $79 for the belt buckle. It’s– But it’s a custom, it’s antique. He just, he has these. He found that from somewhere. Some man wore this, you know? That’s been on some other man’s pubic area, for a long time. Well just above it. A man who wore this has like driven cattle across expanses with Billy Crystal. You know what I’m saying? This is the real deal, man. You don’t know! I like to believe it. What was that guy’s name, a city slicker’s? Pappy, not Pap, No! Curly. Curly! Jack Palance, right? I think he won an Oscar for that. What a great movie. Doesn’t really hold up. Or maybe he’s Watched it recently with the kids. Maybe he just came out, during the Oscars. Kind of holds up. Anyway. I’m not saying he was gay, I’m saying he just appeared. But he could also be gay. I don’t know or care. But anyway, that was the highlight for me honestly, was getting a new belt. I mean, I gotta say, just to kind of put It seems that it was. Things in perspective. The best part of my Christmas break, was getting a new belt. And I feel a little naked without it, but I’m gonna see how if I can see without it. Yeah, don’t stand up, because your pants will stay where they are. When we got back, I felt like I needed a little bit of an actual break. And so, I went skiing. In Big Bear, with Shepard, I was gonna take– You knew I was had been skiing, and you felt like you couldn’t get left behind. Oh, if that’s how you wanna see it. The way I saw it was, we’re going skiing as a family, and we’re going to Mammoth, in the near future and it’s like, you kind of wanna get your ski legs back. Yeah, yeah. But Lark and I were going actually to Mammoth with friends and so, and got a concussion. And had to not ski. Long story. He’s fine. But so, Wow. Shep and I just went, just the two of us. Skied for a couple days. Had a great time. I did see that on your story, because I was back in the real world then, being sick and doing nothing except bedridden, looking at you galavanting down the mountain. Really trying to see if you could ski better than me, is what I was trying to assess, having gone for five days, in Mammoth. I think I could probably ski better than you. Okay. I’ve just I’ve got a lot more skiing experience. I was– That is true, but I don’t think, my whole spring break You can. Last year. Yeah. Was six days of skiing. You wanna have a ski off? Ski off, done. Where? Well that kind of brings me to my– Name a time and place. My thoughts about skiing, which it had been two years since I had been skiing, really for the first time, in a long time, when I along with the kids were trying to learn how to ski. Do you do the Black Diamonds? And given up the snow boarding. Hell no, I don’t do the Black Diamonds. Well then I’m better than you bro. Are you telling me you can ski a Black Diamond? If it’s not moguls. Hell yes. Well then you’re definitely better than me. I mean, because I mean, I went up to a blue, I don’t look like I know what I’m doing, but I’m fine. I mean, I went up to a blue, There’s a lot of sliding going on, not a lot of real skiing. And here’s what I thought. Here’s what struck me, because, I was like, “Christy do you wanna come ski with us, “like we’re learning, we’ll have an instructor.” And she was like, “No.” She basically said, “You know, it’s scary.” And I was like, “Okay, I respect that.” And then, That’s what’s fun about it. I got back, I got out there and with the kids and we were all doing well, like, being instructed and really getting back into it after a couple of years. But it, the thing that struck me, I was seeing like old people. I was seeing people who were like, rotund, like not really people in shape, okay? Yeah, because you’re sliding. And, The bigger the better, I think. But here’s the thing. Skiing is an extreme sport. You’re going down a mountain on two sticks. And, for some reason, anybody thinks they can roll up, rent some crap and do it. And then there’s, and I don’t know how, old people and out of shape people are doing it. I consider myself kind of in shape. In shape enough at my age, to like, get out there and look all right. But like, maybe I have a heightened sense of mortality, or I have an appreciation where there’s a lot more riding on me now, you know? Your entire career, buddy. Okay. For one . So, it is scary. I mean, you’re freaking on the side of a mountain on sticks. Well, I will– It’s an extreme sport. Well no, no. It’s not, no, no, You wouldn’t– no, no, it’s not an extreme sport. You wouldn’t– Certain, the ski jumping is an extreme sport. Skiing– Skiing is an extreme sport! No it’s not! It’s a winter sport! If you would go to the top of the mountain in the summer time with a mountain bike. Ice skating, ice skating is not an extreme sport. Like I said, you don’t wanna mountain bike down this. There’s no way anybody could just, it’s like, “Well I’ve ridden a bike before. “Okay, zoop, zoop, zoop, I’m going down a mountain.” No! Well hold on, but see no. You can, it’s all on a spectrum. I could go down a mountain bike course, at a very slow speed. I couldn’t do it in a way that is respectable or actually sporty. But I could brake my way down it. Well this is and speaking from experience. Now I think I talked about this years ago, when I had my accident on like a downhill mountain bike course, is that that’s not actually true. If you get to a certain steepness, like the, a double Black Diamond, or a Black Diamond of mountain biking, you actually, the slower you go, you’re screwed. Well, but– You gotta bank the curves. But with the skiing. Listen, if you get to a place, I don’t do the, I do the Black Diamonds, occasionally, when it’s like, oh when you kind of need to go down this really quick Black Diamond to get to this other blue and it’s not moguls. Moguls is bad news for me. I’m big, I got big skis. I don’t like to turn But even in the turns. Really fast. The thing about a turn, is that, in order to ski properly, you have to commit and shift your weight forward down the hill and all instinct tells you to do is, the steeper it gets, lean back more. Which immediately causes trouble and you’re zooming down the mountain and you could die. You have to trust the technique, at least in my understanding, to shift your weight forward, over the leading ski, or the outer ski and then make a turn. And that is a scary moment. Like when I was on a blue. Well it’s very scary, until– I did it. But I was– It’s very scary. Wigging out. Until, you develop the feel to be like, “Oh, I can turn both ways, reliably.” And once you can turn and stop yourself, then you can pretty much do anything. Again, I’m not saying I look like I know what I’m doing. It’s not like I, Yeah. I’ve got good form and I’m not carving. I’m definitely kind of sliding and, let it be known, I’m thinking about not getting hurt, the entire time. It’s not like when I was a young man and I was just thinking about, “What the most fun thing that I could do right now?” Yeah, yeah. And, “What’s the most fun line “that I could take down this mountain?” It’s very much like, “How can I not get hurt? “Is that way less hurt? “Is this way less hurt?” Well to me, that’s not going above a blue. Well, but you gotta, you still gotta have a little fun. And once you get, there doesn’t seem to be any difference, steepness, is no longer becomes an issue, when you can turn without any trouble. And that is sort of, I don’t get that, yet. You’ll get there in like two more days of skiing. You know what, you come out with me, I’ll show you . I mean who, has anyone taught you how to do like the plant the pole and turn thing? Like the proper technique for? I watch, you know the people with the full ski suits. Oh yeah. Like one piece? That dude knows what he’s doing. Even though you can like get one that says U.S. Ski Team on Amazon. I just assume if you’ve got one of those, you know what you’re doing. And– I’m gonna get one of those just so people can say, “You’ll never believe what happened. “I got run over by a guy from the “U.S. Ski Team.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. “He was totally out of control. Yeah, he must have been, “He was “amazing.” The equipment manager. No, yeah, I can do it, but it’s, yeah, it doesn’t look smooth and cool and like pop, like the guys. I wanna get there, because I think there’s a zen associated with like, going up high, I mean I was at Mammoth the whole time with my kids, and like we didn’t, we only went on a blue once. You missed so much of the mountain. I know, but I just, I didn’t have the technique. Green– And I didn’t wanna ditch my kids. Here’s the problem. Here’s the problem with the greens. Too many people. Too many people. In fact, when you go to Big Bear, there’s, the summit, the snow summit, which is the, Yeah. Sort of the bigger mountain between the two, you can do there. There’s this really long run called Summit Run. And it’s green the whole way and it gets carved up by all these people and there’s just kids and, it’s like, Old people? Yeah, but what we found is, there’s a certain part of the mountain if you go off sort of, it’s far to the left as you can get, you come down these long blue runs and then you get back on the lift and literally there’s no line. Yeah. And like, the people are an obstacle. We should go, man. My boys are getting there. Ski off. Lily’s done great, but she doesn’t really, she doesn’t, she’s not motivated to get up the mountain. But the three of us are. One of the things that, I’ll go with you. When is that? In a couple weeks? Am I now invited ? Well no, we’ve already kind of got things worked out. We’re going with a different family . I thought he invited me, guys. Eh, right. Did you hear that? Yeah. He was like, “Come with me.” You know ski off And then I knew he was going. Is anytime, any place. Except, the predetermined time that I’m going skiing with another family . Okay, yeah, you don’t want me to embarrass you, I get it. Jessie, when we were in Asheville. When we travel together, Jessie watches trashy reality TV. It’s just what she does. We don’t really watch it any other time. Okay. And we have like TLC and Bravo, like, you know, at home, but I don’t know if she knows that. And I plan to keep it that way. I think she thinks that TLC and Bravo, only get broadcast in hotels. Okay. Hope she doesn’t– I can’t– Good thing she doesn’t listen to this podcast. I can’t tell you what’s on that. What did you watch? Well on TLC. Isn’t that The Learning Channel? The Learning Channel, yeah, Link, no one’s learned anything on TLC for many years. Okay. Except how to not behave. You know, how to not be like the people in all the shows that they have. Okay. But um, Like the housewives show? The one in particular that we watch, is 90 Day Fiance. You guys know about this? Mm-mm. There’s a show where, well, Jessie made fun of me, and tweeted this out because, I was watching it kind of over her shoulder, I get sucked in. I’ll admit, I get sucked into these things. And they go through a number of different couples. And I was like, is it always, is one of them always international? And she like thought that was so funny, she had to tweet it. Because the whole point of the show is, yes, it’s someone who’s getting married, essentially to get a Green Card. Oh. It’s not that the love isn’t real, but. And then they only have to be married But the pretense is, For three months? Well, I don’t know, What’s the three months? Because I think you have to be, I think you have to be is it married for? I don’t know where the 90 days comes in. You have to be engaged for at least 90 days? Like you can’t be in Apparently it doesn’t matter, a relationship for 90 days to enjoy it. Yeah. What did you, what was your take away? If it wasn’t that? My take away was, I learned a lot about myself. Because I ended up tweeting something like, “Sometimes I start to think that I’m a good person “and then I realize that I am ruthlessly judging “a woman I don’t know for serving pizza rolls “at her wedding.” Now with the tweet that I wanted to tweet, that Jessie said, “No you can’t tweet that.” Was, “Sometimes, I start to think that I might be “a good person and then I start having murderous impulses “towards a woman that I don’t know, “for serving pizza rolls at her wedding.” So you wanted to kill somebody. Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk about, is that, when I watch these people, But you like pizza rolls! What a hypocrite! No one even served pizza rolls at their wedding. It was the kind of thing that would have happened on the show. It was a joke. Okay, okay. I found myself wanting to hurt the people on the show. And? Just like, I was like, “Where is this That doesn’t sound like “coming from?” Entertainment to me. Man, somebody who’s got so many opinions about the way people behave, you watch one of these freaking episodes, and you tell me you don’t wanna kill these people! I’m not, I’m saying, I probably would, but I wouldn’t spend my time trying to be entertained in that manner. You just, you just watch it, and you’re like, you can’t, it’s like train wreck. You can’t look away. You just can’t, but I can’t believe, some of the decisions that people make. Oh, but you know what? That tweet that I actually made. That was different. I’ve got my, This show is rabbit hole, Not about you rehashing all your tweets, man. No no, no no. The thing that I was actually tweeting about was, Four Weddings, which is a different show. I wanted to kill those people too, just to be clear. Four Weddings? This is when four women have a wedding. They each have a wedding. They’re all getting married, but they attend each other’s weddings, as the show and then they rate each other’s weddings and then the winner, the best wedding, from the other three women deciding who has the best wedding, gets like a trip, a honeymoon, or something. So the women are horrible to each other. And I wanted to kill three out of four of those women. Okay. Not, there was one that was like, “Okay, “she can go.” But you wanted to keep watching? I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. It sounds unhealthy. But I couldn’t stop hating them. I was just like, “I can’t do this. “I can’t watch this. “These people make me so mad, “for the dumb things, the decisions that they’re making.” Is that, I mean is Jessie feeling that way? Why does she watch it? The same reason anyone watches any reality television. Yeah, I mean, of course– She doesn’t get angry. It’s just like I watch the Bachelor too. You know? But she gets a kick out of it. She’s not getting angry. I don’t know, maybe she’s got, she’s better than me. Well we know that. She’s, no, she’s getting a kick out of it, but you know, you just get so frustrated with people sometimes, and you’re just like, “I just don’t understand how this person “got to be this person.” I thought that they were supposed to make you, these shows, feel better about yourself. But it’s interesting that it’s making you come to grips with the fact that you are a bad person. Yeah, because I think you could just watch them, and just be like, “Well I’m better than that person. “Oh I’m better than that person. “I’m better than that person. “I’m glad I’m not that person. “I’m better than that person.” Which, would be a pretty easy thing to do. But, instead, it turned into murderous impulses. I wouldn’t actually do it, but I just found it. I felt it in my heart. And wanted to tweet it, but then my wife said I couldn’t. But now I have. And then I told her– I don’t tweet on vacation, because I’m on vacation. Tweets’ work for me. But I did, in my draft, in my drafts, Yeah, the murderous drafts. It just says, “Murderous impulses.” In a draft. Okay. On Twitter. Okay, okay. Because I was like, “I gotta go back to that, “that’s a good one. Get rid of that. “People will like “that.” Get rid of that. It did remind me that, last year, when we went to Sedona. At night, you may recall, we would watch Survivor. Having never watched it, we as a family got into watching Survivor. So my plan and everybody was on board was, that we were gonna do that again this year. Oh good. It was an interesting dynamic though that like, Lily’s 16 years old. She had a friend who was also in Mammoth. So like the first night, she was like, “Can I spend the night with my friend?” And like, No, you have to stay here and watch Survivor with your family. Yeah, so I was like, “Yes tonight, “you can be away.” You know, so it’s like, we’re in this weird flux as a family, where it’s like, You can’t you can’t hold it together. You can’t. I can’t hold it together, You can’t. All the time. Yeah. So you choose your battles. Yeah. That went out the door, but what we did do, in the wake of the Rise of Skywalker and, something about Harrison Ford made a connection to Indiana Jones and I think Christy was like, “We should watch Indiana Jones.” Because the kids hadn’t seen it. And so, What? They hadn’t seen Indiana Jones. Any of them. I have, okay? Wow. Of all the things I haven’t seen, I have and I got a special place in my heart for the second one, Temple of Doom, because, it is the first movie I ever remember watching in the theater. Mm-hmm . You know, I’d visit my dad, I had visitation with my dad, or whatever you call it. He was not in prison though. What’s it call when you don’t live with your dad, and then you have to go stay with him? Hanging out. Yeah. I was hanging out with my dad. There is a name, I don’t know. It’s not custody. What’s that name, I don’t know. Anyway. It might be visitation, you might be right. But it just sounds like, you’re visiting a prison, a person in prison. I mean this was, I think it was 1983, when this movie came out. Can you check that? I guess, I mean, maybe it was four. Temple of Doom? Yeah. I mean it could’ve been, even if it was ’86, I would’ve been eight years old. It was the first movie I saw in the theater and I was, he wanted to see it and I guess he thought I would like it, but I was terrified. ’84. ’84. So, yeah. I was six years old. Because of the heart scene? Yeah and the dude reaches in there and pulls out a beating heart. It scared the crap out of me. But it was special. And I wanted to share that with my kids, especially Lando, who I told him to close his eyes. So we watched all four of them. And let me tell you, the first three are freaking magical. The fourth one, it had Shia LaBeouf and you know I’m really into him now. Right, but– Big fan of his. But you’re into Shia, Big fan of him now. LaBeouf. Right now. Fully matured. Not like, you know. Too much CGI. Teen Shia LaBeouf. The first three are, I think Temple of Doom’s my favorite. But, we had a blast watching these and it’s the first two are just, they’re all amazing. I mean, I think they’re you know, my favorite movies and I was just reminded of that. Your favorite movies and your kids hadn’t seen them until now? Yeah. What have you been doing? It was fun, man. It’s fun watching that. But, yeah so that, that was the big thing for me and I think, you know, coming back, I’ll tell you this story that I gotta tell you the medical story, before I went. But just concluding, because I kind of feel the same way you do, in terms of like, last night I told Christy, I was like, “You know, now that we’re back from our vacation, “what do we think about it? “What did we learn? “What do we wanna do differently next year, “because this is our second year of being “in L.A. for Christmas.” And the thesis is we’re building our own traditions and you know, I had this feeling of like, like you said at the top. You’re like, “It was you know, it was.” I always want it to be great. And be like the best Christmas ever, but it was, like it was okay. But then the more we thought about it, I realized, we actually started to talk about and I wonder if you and Jessie ever talk about this. It’s like, as the kids get older, we wanna start building expectations and traditions. Things that we are gonna keep doing. There’s an expectation, so that, when they go off to school. They’ll go off to their own lives and they’re starting to date people and get engaged and whatever they’re gonna do that they’re gonna wanna come back and do these things with us every year. So it’s like, “Okay this is what we do for the holidays.” And after the holidays, we would always take a trip, you know, we’ve done it two years in a row. It doesn’t really matter how great the trip is, as long as there’s an expectation that like, especially when kids start leaving, I was like, “Man, I’m sure it will be special when “Lily’s been off at college and then she comes back “and like, the boys haven’t seen her “since she went to college. “Like she didn’t come home for Thanksgiving say.” You know we got– Where is she going? She’s like further away at college, kind of like, you know, our friend’s daughter, who like, went up to Oregon. Right. And like they didn’t see her until, her sibling didn’t see her until she came back for Christmas. And I’m like, “Yeah and if we’re just at home, “you know what’s gonna happen. “Oh I got these plans here. “I got these plans here.” But like if we have this expectation that we’re doing some sort of family trip. I’m like, “I think this can become really special “in that way.” So I started to feel better about it. Then like, Lily and Lincoln have left the house and like, it’s just Lando waiting around. It’s like, “Hey I haven’t seen my siblings in months.” And then they’re coming back and we’re doing something. And I started to feel like, “You know what?” As I often conclude about myself. I put so much pressure on the specifics, you know and achieving some sort of perfection, that it actually made me feel better to say, “Okay, we’re creating space.” And I think I’ve said this before. “Creating an opportunity for memories to be made.” And I think that’s the biggest victory. And that’s the definition of success. If we’re together enough, where things, good, bad, different can happen, that’s success. Especially for when they get old and, Oh so all you gotta do to get them to come back, when they’re old, is go somewhere, because they won’t have any money. Yeah, that’s right. And when you say, “Hey, free trip. “Your meals will be paid for.” These kids are gonna come back, man. They’ll be coming back for years. “Can I bring “my girlfriend?” They’ll be coming back for years. “Can I bring my boyfriend?” Now if you just say, “Hey, just come back to the house.” You gotta, you gotta, you gotta have a carrot. That’s what I’m building. Indiana Jones, Survivor. Well. Well before you tell your medical story, Sure. I wanna run something by you, that happened to me on the flight back. Okay, you wanna cough drop? Uh, nope. And I don’t wanna touch anything that you’ve been touching. All right. So, . Coming back on the flight. You know, it’s like a five hour flight. Five, six hour flight from Raleigh to L.A. And I got this new neck pillow thing and I’m experimenting with. Because me and Lark are taking a very special trip, that I’m not even gonna tell you about it, until I get back from it because, it’s a pretty big moment for me. Oh! But it requires a long flight. And, I was like, “I wanna be able to sleep “on the plane.” That’s months from now. Yeah, I need to figure out how to sleep on the plane, so I’m gonna test some pillows. I don’t like the regular ring, the regular donut pillow. I don’t like the fact that there’s a pillow behind my neck and I fall all around. There’s this thing, I don’t even know what it is. Where you, it’s a brace, inside of a blanket and then you wrap it around your neck and then it, it Velcros back onto itself. And so, you’re, it’s this piece of plastic is basically supporting your head and it got all these reviews on Amazon like, five star reviews on Amazon. You talking about a scarf, It’s a scarf with a with a wedge in it. Built in brace. Okay. And, it kind of worked. I still ended up waking up and thinking like, “My neck doesn’t feel great, but better than if “I had one of those traditional pillows.” Anyway, so I like slept through the flight attendant coming by and asking, “Do you want a snack and do you want a drink or whatever.” Uh-huh. So I wake up, and she’s like walking by and I was like, “Oh, oh, oh, excuse me. “Could I get one of the protein boxes and a water?” Like this is like the pay, like you have to Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pay for it, right? She’s like, “Okay.” So then, another flight attendant comes back. And she hands me the protein box. And I was like, “Thank you, “oh and could I also get a water?” Mm-hmm . And she said, “I’ve only got two hands.” Oh snap! Whoa! “I’ve only got two hands?” What? This is not even the same person? It was a different person. And it’s like, “Okay.” And before I could be like, I’m not, first of all, there are certain people who, like my brother, is an example. Yeah. He would immediately clapped back. Yeah. But I was just like, “Oh okay.” And then, so then, Jessie, hears this interaction and she’s like, “What was that? Why, well you didn’t do anything wrong.” And then, and first of all, you could carry a water and a protein box with two hands. Just FYI. Yeah, because one of them’s a box, And one of them’s a cup. Well, or a bottle. So I, Jessie then goes, gets up to go use the restroom and then she comes back and she says, “You will not believe what just happened.” What happened? She’s like, “That flight attendant was back there, “telling another flight attendant about “the interaction that she just had with you.” What? “And she was saying, “And then he says, “Could I get “a water?” And I was like, “I’ve only got two hands.” And I was like, “What is happening?” Like, That’s weird! And I was, I don’t, I hope that’s not the end of your story! It is, man! Oh no! I don’t know what happened! Come on, because, let me finish your story. So then, I got up to “use the bathroom.” But when I went up there and I saw the woman, I said, “Excuse me, ma’am. “My wife just overheard, “you retelling the story, “that I was also talking to my wife about. “and we can’t make sense of the fact “that you’re so upset that I asked for a water. “After you deliver me a box. “It seems totally reasonable to then ask “for you to go back and get a water.” And I’d already asked for a water. “Even though I already Well to another “Asked for one.” to another flight attendant. “So what did I do wrong? “What can I do differently next time, “so that you won’t come back and spill the tea, “to your comrades up here at the front? The problem– “I’m baffled!” The problem with that kind of behavior, is that, that’s the kind of the thing that like escalates quickly and the next thing you know, somebody, They’re turning the plane around. Like a, like a U.S. Marshall like sticks a syringe in your neck and you fall down. Like you know what I’m saying? Like, Yeah. It’s like, that’s the kind of thing that happens when you, Because if anybody, when you rebel on an airplane. If anybody puts you on a, like a phone video, they’re like, “That dude is crazy.” Right! Look at his hair! Yeah and so I was just like, I let it slide. I mean the other woman did bring me water and it was great. I’m angry. Good, I wanted to set, I feel, I wanted you to get angry, I feel before you told your last story. I feel murderous thoughts! There you go! Now we’re talking! I feel like murdering, Welcome to 2020! this woman, who’s just gonna be, she only wants to be engaged for 90 days so she can, I don’t know, for some sort of citizenship thing. And that’s not even the right show! Pizza rolls! I’m confused. So a few days before, the holidays really start getting going, hold on. No this was the day after Christmas, because two days later, we were gonna go to Mammoth. And I wake up, y’all, I think it was before Christmas. Because I remember talking to you Christmas Eve. Was it? Yeah, that’s right. It was the Christmas Eve eve. I did the thing I rarely do, which is, talk to you over break. Because you heard Because I was– something happened to me. Because I was concerned. And you asked me. I think Jessie asked you, told you to ask me. No she didn’t! To have some sort of empathy. No your wife texted Jessie, Yeah. And said something that was strange about your health situation and I called you, you know, 90 minutes later . Not on your own volition though. You know what? I’m glad that you asked me, how I was doing and I’m sorry that I assumed that your wife put you up to it. Good. Is that really how it happened? It is how it happened! Okay, cool, cool, . Tell your story, man. So whatever freaking day it was, I’m in a murderous frame of mind now, man. It’s your fault, if I’m coming down on you. If I’m taking it out on you, it’s your fault. Yeah. I woke up, because, the room was spinning. I didn’t wake up and find that the room was spinning. I woke up because, with my eyes shut, I was tumbling through some sort of space. I open my eyes and I’m laying on my side and, the room is spinning at this rate. Wow. What miles per hour, if you’re on a carousel, it’s like, if a kid’s on one of those merry go rounds and an adult is running as hard as they can, pushing it around, and you’re the kid. That’s fast. Fast! But it depends on how big it is. What the radius of the merry go round? Yeah. The centrifugal acceleration, is dependent on the radius. Not if you’re sitting in the middle of the merry go round. You’re right about that. All right! So, I wake up and it’s like, I didn’t have anything to drink the night before. I just, this was no hangover type of a spin. And, I sat up and I just sat there and as I was sitting there, I’m slowly falling over, on the bed. Because you know, it’s just like if you get real dizzy, you can’t sit up straight. And then finally I got still enough that the room did stop. And, I had slept later than Christy, she wasn’t even up there. So I got my phone and I was like, “I need you to come up here, “because I feel weird.” But I had to pee really badly. So then I got up and I slowly walked to the toilet. And I sat down to pee. Not because I always sit down to pee, which I do. But because I really had to this time. And , I basically fell off the toilet, because the room started to spin again. Hmm. And then Christy came up there and I told her, well actually, I made my way downstairs, because she never got the text and I’m like explaining to her what happened, because, it would just go into a spin and but it wasn’t constant. It was like at certain times. So I got, I made my way down there just fine and I’m like telling her, and she’s like, “Well I got up this morning “and I was really sick.” Do you have a Google Home? Because you can broadcast to the whole house. Yeah, I do. So I could like do an intercom thing, like, “Help me, the room is spinning!” Yeah, you say, I’m not gonna say the thing, “H, Google.” Uh-huh. Broadcast, “Help me, the room is spinning!” Okay. And then it’ll do that. I do it all the time. I’ll do that next time, because then hopefully, somebody would’ve come running. And she was like, “Well I was really sick this morning, like, “it wasn’t good. “I think I have food poisoning.” I’m like, “You know what? “I guess that’s.” We ate the same thing. The kids ate something different. I just, we thought I had food poisoning somehow. I like google like dizziness associated with food poisoning. You can find some link to anything. So like, thought that’s what it was. It happened a few more times. That’s some serious food poisoning. I know, I just went back and I was like, “I’m gonna go back and lay down in bed.” And when I laid down, it happened a little bit, but I went to sleep and I woke up with the room spinning, same thing happening again. Christy starts talking to a friend of hers, Katie, who’s like, “You know, Link’s got vertigo! “A lot of my relatives have it. “You should try,” she mentioned some maneuver, which later, it turns out was something called the Epley Maneuver. So we’re like googling this thing. It actually was the next day that we had this conversation with her. We didn’t uncover this maneuver. You had a day of spinning. I had a day of spinning and a night of it. Gosh! And I was like looking up canceling my reservations at Mammoth, like, I was thinking, “When do I start getting penalized, “if I cancel now versus cancel later. “How much more is it gonna cost me?” Because I’m like, “There’s no signs of this going away.” You could have been the guy who just spins down the mountain though. And we were googling a bunch of stuff, but then the next day, when we googled this. It was so interesting. It was like, “Okay, I’ll give.” This is a maneuver that you can just try on your own. There’s like physical therapists who have YouTube videos that tell you how to do it. But the theory behind it is, in your inner ear, which of course is a center of equilibrium, along with like parts of your brain. You’ve got these, if you’ve seen the model of the inner ear, you’ve got these different loops that come off of it, right? These like different tunnels, which are filled with, I don’t know, I’m gonna call it liquid. I believe it is. And it’s these different tubes that come, that are oriented in different directions that magically in both your ears keep you, it’s miraculous, when you look at how this, these mechanisms work. And then, the assertion is that, if a crystal, which apparently there are crystals in another part of your ear, that are supposed to be there. If a crystal, We’re not, not New Age crystals. No, just like a particle. Not like something that Gwyneth Paltrow would insert in her vagina? Like a, not a, no. Not a goop dildo. I don’t know. Okay. I’m talking about, what they would call a crystal, makes his way into one of these canals, where it is not supposed to be. Oh! Then every time that crystal moves in the canal, the room starts spinning. That’s crazy. And, I was like, “This is wild!” Do you grow these crystals as an adult? Or like they’re there as a baby? I don’t understand. I don’t. They seem to imply that, the crystal got in the wrong place. Not that the crystal existed. And these are in the few videos that I watched, okay? I only wanna know how to fix it. I didn’t really care about, Do I have crystals? Reading their Wikipedia. Do I have crystals? Yes! I just wanna make sure I’ve got crystals. It, this Epley Maneuver is wild, because, it’s a series of movements, that then manipulate the crystal to go on a nice little trajectory around the loop. Using gravity. Using gravity to then exit, the canal, that tunnel. Man, this feels like the kind of thing that, Hoo doo. You watched a YouTube video. Yeah. And you do it. I got really excited. And you know, And like, “This ain’t gonna work.” You know while it’s happening. When you see the thing being performed on someone, you’re like, “This is not going to work.” Especially when it’s this simple. Okay. You sit up on your bed and then you lay down such that then your head is tilted back. Like, if I’m sitting up here straight, I’m gonna look up, like put my chin in the air. So that my head is angled back. Mm-hmm . And then you, you lay back and then you tilt your head to the right. Or the, depending on which ear it’s in. I’ll just say, I don’t even know which is which, but like, you turn to the right 45 degrees and then look back 30 degrees, or something like that. Did you have a protractor? And then, no. No protractor. Did you have a protractor? Christy was there like holding my head, because I showed her the video. Excuse me, I thought I had another scab. Oh gosh! So you lay back. You look in this one direction. And the room starts to spin. You hold it, until the room stops spinning. What, really? Yes. And that did happen? And that happened just a little bit. The room moved just a little. Half spin. And then, there’s three positions. The second position is, instead of looking to the right 45 degrees, with your head still tilted back, then you turn your head, to the opposite, looking 45 degrees to the left. Head still draped over the end of the bed. I know, this may not make sense, but you can watch the YouTube video. Then the room starts to spin again. I.e. the crystal has moved. And you have to let the room stop spinning so the crystal can settle in this new position. Crystals, man. And then the third one is, while you’re looking to the left, then you take your whole body and you roll over on your side, while keeping that same angle, 45 degree angle, of looking to the left. So now you’re looking straight down at the floor and laying on your left side. What is your wife doing at this point? She’s turning me over and trying to like, take the vantage point of like, yes, she’s my protractor. Are you both naked? We’re both naked, yes. We’re making love, while this is happening. I forgot that part. You need to be in a constant state of love making. No! Right, that’s how you get that crystal moving. Yeah, . Yeah, yeah, lots of crystals moved. Yeah. When I turned over to that third position, the world unhinged. What? It was spinning so aggressively. This is, I started, Now I want this to happen to me . I started, it was so scary dude. Hey, I simultaneously felt encouraged because something was happening. Because it was going according to It was going to plan. According to plan. And the room was spinning so aggressively, that I started moaning uncontrollably. I was like, Oh wow! Oh! Oh! Those are the noises I was actually making. Wow! Oh! And I thought I was going to vomit. Wow! It was so bad. And it took way too long for my taste, for the room to stop spinning, but you have to hold it. You have to wait for the crystal. And then you sit up and, on the edge of the bed, and this one particular YouTube video I saw, which no one else afterward, told me that I had to do this, but the physical therapist in this video was like, “And then at this point, make sure for the next 24 hours “that you don’t look up.” And so, he recommended that, Yeah. You put on a neck brace. Yep. And I wanted to follow everything to a tee. I didn’t have a neck brace. So I took a towel. Yeah. And some packaging tape. And I folded a towel up, around my neck. There you go. And then I took packaging tape and I taped the, I made myself a neck brace. Not looking up. And Christy’s like, calling the physical therapist, who’s gonna come into the office and has agreed to see me and make sure that we’re doing this right, because when it was over, I still didn’t feel good. I still felt really discombobulated. But it wasn’t spinning. It wasn’t spinning and then, so a few hours later, we’re supposed to go in to see her, but I thought that she was coming to the house. So I go downstairs. The doorbell rings. And, it’s a, I never met this therapist, but it’s an Asian lady. I knew that. Christy told me. So, I go to the door with my neck brace on and I open the door and there’s an Asian lady there. And I say to her, I say, “Thank you so much for coming. “Please come on in.” And she said, “Oh no, it’s fine. “I’ll stay right here.” And I’m thinking, “You can’t do the maneuver on me “right here.” But I didn’t say that. And then I saw that she had a name tag. Right and she was– And it said, so and so, Judy so and so, Forest Lawn Cemetery. And she was trying to sell me a grave plot. And I’m like, She heard about, “Is it that bad?” She heard about the crystals. Is it that bad? We got a man with crystals. You know what happens in 30% of the time. My life is falling apart. I open the door to get treatment and a woman tries to sell me a grave plot. Yeah. And. She’s like, “Good he’s got on a towel neck brace.” I can barely stand . This is a good start. He’s close to death. He’s definitely at death’s door. I finally got rid of her. And, I sat back down and we went to the therapist. Oh you didn’t buy a plot? I didn’t, I was like, Forest Lawn is a classy place to go. I’m like, “I wanna be incinerated.” But you can still, but you can still have a headstone. I wanna find like an environmentally, most environmentally friendly way to do it, which may not exist yet, but. That’s a talk for another time. Okay. I go to the therapist, physical therapist. She was kind enough to see me. And she did the same maneuver and it was, Did it all again? Yeah, but nothing was spinning. But yeah, because you had already done it. And you know what? What we did worked. I was just so anxious and I believed that it wasn’t going to work, that, Do you know what this reminds of? I was just too uptight, and that’s what she told me. And then she sold me a special pillow. Oh she did? Yeah, kind of like yours, but different. You know what, I’m learning something about you. It had like husks in it. I’m learning something about you. Do you remember when you got an Orbeez stuck in your ear? I got an Orbeez in my left ear! I can’t get it out! Yeah, it wasn’t really an Orbeez stuck in my ear. There was for a moment. Yeah, there was. And then, there was much consternation. Because I believed it was still in there, yeah? Yeah, you’ve got a thing about thinking that things are still in your ear, when they’re not. Listen, you’re the hypochondriac. I am, but, When nothing’s wrong with you, you believe that the world is crumbling. I’m not an acute hypochondriac. But then when something is wrong with me, and it gets better, I believe that it hasn’t gotten better. Right, it’s a different type of hypochondria. Okay, then that’s it. It’s, that maneuver. A shout out to Mr. And Mrs. Epley, who invented that maneuver. It’s like magic. Think about all the, think about how they had to like, I waited, I suffered a day and a night Did they do it with, Not knowing about this maneuver. Cadavers? Like how did they figure it out? Did they just look at the ear and think about physics? Yeah, it’s awesome. Now I got the rec this week. It’s really geometry, I guess. Rec, baby rec, baby one, two, three, four. I’ll keep it simple. My rec is, remember the Epley Maneuver when the world starts spinning around you, because it’s crazy that you can just, Remember, or remember that it exists. Just remember that it exists. Yeah. You don’t even have to learn it. Just know that it’s there. It’s a lot more complicated than the Heimlich. The Heimlich, don’t watch a YouTube video, when you need to do that. Just do it. Epley. Epley you can take your time on. Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. And also, What other maneuvers are there? I recommend, I recommend now, learning the Heimlich Maneuver. Let’s all do that today. What does it take to come up with a maneuver? Like, what would the McGlaughlin Maneuver, or the Neal Maneuver be? Because I feel like, Well I have, I got a, What you have one? I got a maneuver. That’s, Again, it’s a love making maneuver. It is okay. Okay, so. And we have to make a YouTube video for it. That’s it, man. I mean, it’s crazy to be that scared and that affected by something, Yeah. And then just to sit in three different positions and it get better? Here’s what I would’ve done, okay? When it got better, I would’ve been so relieved. But when it was happening, I would’ve thought that, “It’s over.” I would’ve been like, “This is it. “I got a tumor or something.” You know what I’m saying, like, I immediately just jump to the worst possible conclusion. Right. That’s what my hypochondria does. And so, I don’t think that I would’ve gone a full day without going and seeing, that night I would’ve been like, “Jessie, we gotta go to the emergency room.” I was just gonna sleep it off. Yeah, I wouldn’t have done that. Couldn’t have slept. #EarBiscuits, let us know, how your year’s starting out. Or whatever you want, however you wanna respond to this. And next week. Yeah, we’re getting into it next week. Whew. Again, it’s gonna be, we’re gonna talk about things we’ve never talked about before. That may or may not interest you. But we’re gonna talk about them. To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.