Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are going through your answers to the question that we posed to you, which was, what’s the scariest situation that you’ve ever been in? So, I mean, you know, it’s just that time of the year when- Spooky, spooky, I mean, personally, it’s always that time of the year for me, I’m always willing to be scared. And I don’t think that we should just limit horror and darkness to just one day a year. That seems dumb to me. Let’s open it up to the entire year and I think that’s happening. I think lots of people are like, if you’ve got a horror movie, it doesn’t have to come out in the fall anymore. It could come out in January and people are happy. You know what I’m going to, I want, I’m going to make you eat your words, I think, by the end of this conversation, because I think we’re not just going to be talking about entertaining, getting scared for the sake of the thrill. By the end of this conversation, I’m fully intend to be talking about have either one of us ever seen a ghost. Do we believe friends who claim they haven’t seen a ghost. I have. I have seen a ghost. And do you want, do you really want to experience that type of spooky? Like. I’m not going to answer that question directly right now, but what I will say is I do find it interesting that you see a, what appears to be a very, very dark and broad demarcation between real scary stuff and entertainment. Whereas I see them as being exactly in the same boat. Okay, yeah. And I’m going to call you on that because. Just because it’s negative and scary! I can’t believe that’s true. Just because I fear for my life doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining. It’s a different kind of entertainment. Listen, it’s all fun and games and beavers until somebody sees a crouching dark angel in their fireplace, okay? That’s all I’m saying. And that’s what we’re going to talk about, eventually, if you have the guts to stick around. I do want to, I do have a question for you. If you’re in conversation, whatever the context and you want to say essentially, let’s zero in on this particular subject or let’s get a little bit closer. Okay. What phrase might you use to say that? Are you asking me because you want to know or are you framing me ’cause you think I’m wrong? Well, we were in a meeting earlier today, right? And I, this is, this isn’t like, honestly, this isn’t a pet peeve of mine. Like I don’t really care, but it hit me that- I know what you’re talking about. Someone else said it. And then you said it and I was like. Oh, and we said the same thing? And you both said at the same way, which I believe is technically incorrect. Again, I don’t- I think I would say and I think I did say, I want to hone in on this thing. And I believe that most people And I know you say home in. and I think that most people say hone in, but, and I said hone in for a really long time until I don’t know who it was. Somebody pointed out that that’s not correct. It’s home in? Yeah. So, if you hone something, that’s like sharpening something like you, you want to sharpen that and you would never, you don’t hone in on anything. Yeah, if you hone something, you bring it down to a sharp point. Yeah. You hone into one particular detail. Yeah, so visually it works. If I’m going to hone in on something- That that’s not what you’re thinking. Is this going to get spooky or are you just, is No. this another conversation? It’s just a different conversation. Oh, okay. But like “home in,” like what would that mean? Like a homing beacon? A homing pigeon goes to a location. So if you want to home, you home in on something. Now I’m not saying that technically- You only home in on your home, No! But you can hone in on anything that can come to a point. Well, is that how you’re actually seeing it when you say hone in? Absolutely, that’s how I see it. You were saying, when you say hone in- I picture You picture something getting sharper? Yeah and that’s and I, you know what, I think I’m wrong, but I think I’m actually in a more defensible position and it should be changed, dictionary.com. Who’s in charge of this now. Society, man. That’s the thing is that words, here’s the reason that I don’t, that I wanted to talk about it, but I also don’t have strong feelings about it because words- ‘Cause you could be wrong? I know that, I think that I am technically according to the English language, I think that I’m right. But what I’m getting at is the English language is just a, and all language is just a representation of some principle. So it’s not really an exact science. Hmm, writersdigest.com. The verb “hone” means to sharpen and make more acute. Yeah, we knew that. As in honing a talent. Yes, you don’t in a talent. In a verb form “home” as to “home in on” means to move or be aimed toward a destination or target with great accuracy. And that’s what I think about. Missiles home in on targets. Yeah, so if I want to get home in, on a subject- You’re correct, but you’re- to focus. You’re just not, the spirit of your answer is not right. That’s not true. I’m just saying, so if you do find yourself in a situation where you’re interacting with, like if you’re at a job interview, there is, there is potentially a scenario. You wouldn’t hire somebody who said hone in? No, I wouldn’t. But what I’m saying is you might be in an interview with someone who cares about that. Especially if like you’re in an interview for like our, to be like a writer’s assistant or something that where your command of the English language is really important. And, and there may be somebody out there who interviews people and if they say hone in, they choose not to hire them. I’m just trying to look out for everybody. I mean, I appreciate your, your defense of it. Merriam Webster, “is hone wrong?” The verb “hone” also dates to the 1700s just like “home.” Its original meaning is to sharpen or smooth with a whetstone. By the early 20th century, another meaning had developed to make more acute, intense, or effective. Instead of just honing blades, people were now honing skills. Yeah, you can hone a skill. It’s the narrowing or sharpening of focus. But can you hone in a skill? It’s the narrowing or sharpening of focus implied in the figurative meaning of “hone” that seems to have made “hone in” seem like the right phrase to some rather than “home in.” The use of hone in dates to around 1965- Seem! only about 10 years newer than the figurative use of “home in.” We have enough evidence of “hone in” in use that we enter it in our dictionaries. As the note at the entry makes clear, however, “home in” remained significantly more common and is the version to use if you want to avoid criticism. That’s exactly what I’m saying. Zero, zero in is also an option if you want to avoid the similar H words altogether. Yeah, zero in. I’m going to look- Let’s zero in on this. I’m just going to say zero in from now on, because I don’t want to have this conversation ever again. Let’s get the 50,000 foot view of this. That’s another thing that. 5000 foot, or it’s 2000? No one says the same number, but I believe- 50,000 grand candy bar. That 10,000 or 50,000 are the acceptable answers. 5,000 is too close. I’d rather get spooky than open up another Merriam Webster debate. All right. Let’s read the first answer to our question, from Hailey who says- Swiftly mythical. So I love Halloween, costumes, decorations, scary movies, everything. Can I jump in here and say, Halloween’s really hurting this year? Yeah. I mean, I don’t, I mean, my kids were talking about costumes a few weeks ago and then I never heard anything else about it. ‘Cause I think it dawned on them that like, we ain’t going trick-or-treating Going to dress up at home. Yeah, it’s not happening for us. Do a show for each other. I’m sure it’s happening for some people, but it ain’t happening for us. The people I feel most sorry for, the people who, it’s not the trick-or-treaters. I mean, it’s the people who go all out and make their houses incredible for everyone to enjoy. And I think they may still do that. The thing about, I’m seeing decorators. You can like just drive by it. I was really starting to enjoy Halloween. Like last Halloween was the first Halloween that, you know, because Britton was living with me and he’s so obsessed with Halloween and he really connected with you and your love of Halloween. He goes to all of those haunted houses and scary zones. And you know- Scary zones, yeah. He started taking me and Lily and Lincoln to some of those, like you and Locke with us, to Universal Studios last year. And I, I started to get how much fun it can be. Like we had a blast. All the stuff that happened in those few nights that we spent at like the, the horror night places that we went last year would come up in conversation and we would just laugh our heads off, man. And- It’s fun. I’m like, you know what? I’m starting to get it. But now we can’t get it. And then this year, if you’re not in some drive-through car type haunted situation that you gotta buy a ticket in advance- That is happening, yeah. Then, I’m just, along with most anything else, I’m skipping out. So- Well and there’s the question. Yeah, like Hailey, I loved Halloween almost. Is a gap in these haunted houses going to throw it off so they don’t do it next year. You know what I’m saying? No, no. Some people might not do it. They’ll be back with a vengeance. I hope they will. Okay. “About two years ago, I was preparing for a costume and I had this moldable plastic that turned squishy when submerged in hot water and hardened when it dried. I thought it would be perfect to make some fake teeth. There are even tutorials for it on YouTube. So I felt pretty safe doing it. However, I missed a very big disclaimer. Do not use said technique if you have braces and guess what I have?” Braces! “I slathered the sticky plastic all over my top teeth and waited for it to dry. It was thick.” So at what point did it dawn on Hailey that this was dumb? “When I decided to take it off, it hardened and connected, in between my braces wire.” Oh, gosh. “It was like a bug in amber. This shit was not coming off. I had to pour 150 degree water in my mouth to get it somewhat moldable again.” Do you believe that? Well, 150 degrees, I mean, did you have a thermometer? You may have thought it was hot, but 150 degrees. If we’re picking this story apart, I don’t know what we’re going to do when we get to the ghost stories. “I thought my braces were going to be ruined and my teeth were going to break out of my mouth. I was sweating and crying and shaking for at least 20 minutes before the plastic came out and everything was okay.” Spoiler alert. “My teeth were loose for a few hours after that.” Oh dang, teeth were loose. “Moral of the story, don’t skip disclaimers.” I mean, I definitely relate to, A, skipping over disclaimers and doing something impulsive and stupid. I mean, it’s that feeling you get when you put your head between the railing as a kid. Two trains? No. When you’re a kid and you put your, you’re like, you can’t look over the railing, so you just stick your head between the two spokes of the railing that protects you from something, so you can get a better view of it. And then all of a sudden you realize you can’t get your head back out. Right. Or that, I mean, even as an adult, I’ve taken a ring and I’ve put it on the wrong finger and I’ve smushed it all the way down and then realized I can’t get it back over my knuckle. And there’s this feeling of- I’m going to have to go to the ER. Panic. It’s like, you know, it’s that wave that comes over your whole body. That’s like, “oh my God, I’m going to, they’re going to have to call fireman. I, you know, I’m going to, I’m going to be on a TikTok.” But I think the thing is, is that with the ring thing, which definitely has happened to me, especially you put it on a different hand and then you’re like, I started wearing this like fit fitness ring. And if I put it on my, if it, actually, if I like go on a long walk at night, my hand will kind of swell up. But I don’t panic anymore ’cause I’m like, I can get soap and water. But like you think about the people going to the ER, and if you know an ER doctor, you’ve heard all the stories, it’s usually something that you’ve stuck up your rear end that is, is like the most embarrassing stories. So I just feel like as long as you don’t stick strange things up your rear end. Yeah. You’re probably going to be okay. You’re probably not going to be too embarrassed. Okay. I’m really, I’m really trying to like- You shouldn’t be scared. Sitting at home. You shouldn’t be scared. Like really. Yeah. Really zero on that. A ring, or even like head through the banister. I mean, all those are situations. Didn’t one of your kids get his head caught in the banister? I mean, probably. My kids gotten caught in. And I distinctively remember Shepherd, I’m pretty sure it was Shepherd, getting his head caught in a banister. It seems very familiar, but I don’t remember the story. It’s very on character, on brand. Yeah, yeah. I hate that moment, man. I experienced that moment too much. The wave of stupidity is washing over me. I should not have done that. Scary. Yeah, this is a, yeah, that’s scary. But it’s, you know, it’s not, there’s no demons yet. All right, fine. I got some demons for you. Let’s keep going, we got another one, but first we want to encourage you to go to mythical.com. Oh yeah. Because that’s the place that has all the stuff so you can rep your boys. What you looking for? Don’t you have something that you’re going to hold up. Oh yeah, you mean this? You mean this fine, fine hoodie? Embroidered to perfection. Look at that. I’m gonna put my, I’m gonna put my hand in it so it looks like it’s being, it’s being worn by a ghost. We would be wearing that, but it continues to be unseasonably warm here. And neither of us wanted to put a hoodie on. But maybe where you’re at hoodies are, you know- Oh yeah, you need a hoodie. Appropriate at this point. This one’s embroidered. 3D embroidery. I’ve got on the bean shirt. I don’t even know if that’s still being sold. I know it is being sold, but I don’t know if it’s sold out, but you know, it’s also at mythical.com There’s lots of things at mythical.com. Rep your boys. Think about us when clothing rubs against you. Be all the time, really. All right, next question. Or next answer. Nicole Bursey tweeted at us. Oh, it is. This is a, this is a note that has been tweeted so buckle in. “My first real vacay, first plane trip, I went to Cuba with my boyfriend. During dinner, out of nowhere he slumped over on the table and fell to the floor.” Oh my God. “Dragging the tablecloth and dishes with him.” Oh, he made it dramatic. “I was sure he was dead. My future flashed before my eyes, I immediately saw myself having to fly home alone and to tell his family. The waiters picked him up and carried him away, me running behind. Some older gentlemen said, ‘put him down’ and threw a pitcher of ice water on his head. And he woke up.” That part’s like a cartoon. “He woke up. It turns out he hiccuped and it gave him a weird pain and he just fainted.” “I had never seen someone faint before.” So you, Nicole, girl, you’ve never been on a vacation. You never been on a plane trip. You’ve never, okay, I can understand that, but you’ve never seen somebody faint before? She’s lived a sheltered life. But even if you have seen someone faint before this scenario, I wouldn’t, I would be thinking like choking. I mean, but just like dropping dead, I would be thinking heart attack. Or like an aneurysm or something. Yeah, aneurysm. You’d be very scared. But she had never seen someone faint before. “Apparently it’s a thing in his family. I was up all night, waking him up and he’s like, ‘I promise I’m not going to die. Can you stop waking me up?’ So anyway, we’ve been together for 21 years now. And when my son fainted earlier this year, I didn’t think he was dead. So that’s progress.” Now I- It’s like a goat. It’s like one of those goats. The family has goat, fainting goat genes. I’ve seen someone faint. And the most memorable fainting experience was when Will Thomas fainted in the front row of chorus when we were like at a, Lillington like, we’d go, went to the other school. And he like fell in the front row during a Christmas thing. I wasn’t in that choral ensemble. He was the first of, I think three people. This is urban legend that multiple people fainted. Multiple people fainted that day. But he fell, he was on the front row and had no one to catch him. So he fell straight down like a, like a stack of brick, just like Like a tower falling over. Like his nose hit the ground first. He did not catch himself. Yeah, that, and the fact that other people fainted right after that is what is so crazy. Don’t lock your knees. When you’re sangin’. But I fainted three times, three times in my life that I can remember. The first time was when I got the news about my herniated discs in the doctor’s office, I’ve told that story before. The second time was when I went to get shots in my back for my herniated discs and they hooked me up to an IV. And usually the blood thing and the IV thing is not a big deal. And I was all right. I was sitting in a wheelchair ’cause they were wheeling me to the operating room and they like put this thing in my arm and I just like went and just fainted. And it was just like, I wasn’t, I didn’t see. I didn’t think I was scared. Did they pour cold water on you? Nope, no. And I immediately woke up and I think again, I didn’t tell anybody. You didn’t tell anybody? No. And then the third time- I just fell asleep for a second, ugh. I’m sleepy today. You were present for, when we were kind of on like a little mini getaway with some friends. Yeah we were hanging out with friends. And our wives were there and I was not feeling well. Yeah, I noticed that you were sitting on the couch for a long time. You were quiet. I was like, “man, we’re having a good time.” “Why is Rhett so quiet?” And a bit green. I wasn’t feeling well. And then like, Jessie looks at me. She’s like, “you don’t, you don’t look well.” I was like, “yeah, I think I need to just go lay down in the back, like leave this conversation and go like lay down in the back of the house.” And those things where you were talking to Jessie, but everybody stopped and heard you say, “yeah, I think I, I think I need to go lay down.” It’s like, this is such a strange thing for you to say, you know, but it’s not, I mean, you’re wearing a green hat. You weren’t that green. But like the- I looked sick. The light spilling off of your very green hat onto your face. I’d lost my color. You had, you literally had turned a little bit green. And so I stood up to walk across, like across the living room and kitchen into the back area of the house where I was going to lay down. And the next thing I remember. We’re all seated. The next thing I remember, you can tell me your perspective in a second, but the next thing I remember is waking up and when you wake up, like when you’ve really fainted. Yeah. You wake up and actually, so I’ve actually fainted more than three times ’cause I did that stupid thing in high school or middle school where you made each other faint, which you shouldn’t do. But we did it all the time. And I just remember you see like a pinpoint of light that slowly gets bigger and it got a little bit bigger. And the space, which was surrounded by blackness was filled with your wife’s face. Just Christy’s face. Yeah, you were having a angelic vision. I was like, what is happening? And then those circle got a little bit long, wider and there was my wife’s face. And then it got wider and wider. And then I, and like it took me, it took me a good while to really get back to- Oh yeah it did. Like, “oh, you fainted, you got up.” So what did you see where you? Well you got up and you took a step and the best I can recall, everyone was seated, watching you. And then, I mean, you’re so freaking tall. I just didn’t know like, is that how he gets up? I’ve never really noticed that, he like sways that much. Never really watched him get up. He sways like a tree when he gets up and you just said, “you didn’t feel good” so I was like watching. And then it’s like, it was as if you were in, you were stepping in quicksand and you took an but really what had happened, you know, when someone’s like, like that Steve Carell joke where, that cheesy joke, where you like go behind a desk and you look like you’re going down steps. Yeah. Like there was no desk or nothing to block the view of you. But as I looked at your head, it seemed as if you were going descended into quicksand, but really you were just slowly like taking a knee and then I’m pretty sure that Christy was the one who kind of caught you. It was a stone floor. I could have a really got hurt. Yeah, a stone floor. And there was one step up, like in the middle of nowhere, like a random step in the middle of the room. Yeah. Like dual level living room. And so you’re like, you took a knee and then you, you hit the other knee and then like, you were just totally limp. Limp, yeah. You were gone and yeah, I’ll have to ask Christy, but I’m pretty sure she’s the one who like caught you and made sure you didn’t hit your head. Well. Because she’s very fixated after she hit her head, you know, three and a half years ago, people not hitting their head and no one else had the gumption to move. We were all dumbstruck. No one else reacted. And then, and then we were like, it was silence. Like you, you were just, she was like, she was like under your weight. And then like, she like puts you down. And Christy was the only one with any sense. No one else was reacting well. She did a really good job. She was like, “go get a wet towel. He’s fainted.” Well, you know, and they got a wet, you were out for a while because they went and got a wet towel, wrung it out, brought it back over and then handed it to Christy. And then Christy’s like, it just, it was very weird from my perspective, ’cause I mean, it’s not, it’s not like, I mean, I don’t see her ever dabbing your face with a wet towel. That’s just not the nature of your relationship. It’s only happened a couple of times. Yeah, it’s not the nature of your relationship, right? So it’s like, it’s like, there’s my wife caring for my best friend like she would a baby. I mean, I was as helpless as a baby. And I felt so, it was very weird. I was as helpless as a baby. It was weird. Well, the funny thing is, is I don’t know if this happened to you. And then you came to and you could not make sense of what had happened. I don’t know- And you were embarrassed. If this happens to you and I don’t know if it’s my height or some underlying, I’m sure I’m going to get internet diagnosed, which happens all the time. #EarBiscuits. But I, for my entire life, if I’m like kneeling down for an extended period of time and I get up too quickly, like I’ll have to like, hold myself up against the. The blood’s got a long way to go to get back to that walnut brain of yours. And I thought that that’s what was happening. ‘Cause I can remember that feeling. And I was like, “oh, it’s one of those things where,” and this also happened, like, when I hurt my knee earlier this year skiing. And like, I was sitting at the dinner table and we were talking about it and I, again, I started thinking, I started, I was like, I got to go to the bathroom and like splash my water, my face, with water. And on the way to the bathroom, I started feeling it happen. “I was like, oh no, I’m gonna, I’m gonna faint in this restaurant.” But I like held myself up. You better be holding on to stuff. Yeah and I, I mean, I usually do. It’s just that scenario. There was nothing to hold on except your wife. Yeah, there was nothing. Yeah. And of course my fainting story of when, like I was, Christmas time, I was opening the Barbie. Yeah. That, at my in-law’s house that my daughter got on Christmas morning. My father-in-law gave me his knife out of his pocket. And I cut open the Barbie plastic shell and I cut my finger. Immediately panicked ran out of the room, ran into the kitchen, put my finger under the kitchen sink. I don’t know why you want to run water over it for some reason. And next thing I knew the iris was opening up and all I could see was my father-in-law’s face. And I was in his arms. Yeah. And that is not the nature of our relationship either. And I never lived that down. After you faint, you don’t have any immediate energy to be like, “oh, I, I’m sorry.” It’s just, you’re just a baby. You’re just like, wah. Like you can’t say anything. Wah, wah. You just it’s, it’s almost like a rebirth. It’s like I was reborn. You know, you go through the whole process of like learning to speak again. and like learning to walk again. So it is scary, I mean, there’s a spooky element to it because you’ve lost time. And then you’re being immediately ridiculed in both of our cases. Like, I, we felt so bad, we didn’t make fun of you to your face, you went to bed and we were like, “dang, that was weird.” Nikola Maebre, @NiktheChick, tweeted at us, “I got chased by beavers one night in an oar propelled jon boat.” Okay, so she was just by the power of rowing. She was trying to escape beavers. “It was pitch black and I had to alternate rowing and shining a flashlight while they randomly popped up and smacked their tails on the water. Darkness plus water plus being chased by an unseen loud creature equals scary.” Beavers know the power that they hold. Slapping their tails. I know we got into a little bit of a disagreement at one point about how big beavers are. And beavers are bigger than- What was my position on the beaver? You were like, you were like saying beavers were like this tall. Like, I remember like you holding your hands. I don’t remember, if it was GMM. Yeah, like 14 inches tall. And I was like, “beavers can be like three feet tall.” And you were like, “no way.” Like, I think a beaver, I think a beaver, without the tail, standing, could be that big. And again, I’m gonna tell you again. I’m gonna tell you again. You’re still talking about a capybara. No look up pictures, look up beavers. How, I’m just going to look at how tall is- A big beaver. The average. Well, I want to know the upper upper range. How tall is the average beaver, no internet. Let me turn the internet on. 35 to 65 pounds. Heaviest on record is 110 pounds. They are three to four feet long and stand one to one and a half feet tall. One to one and a half feet tall. That’s the average, man. That’s the average. Okay. Like, do a picture of big beaver. Okay. Big beaver. Can I use your laptop? Big beaver. All right, I’m just searching “big beaver” and I’m going to images. Yeah, I mean, you got safe search on. Oh good God. Yeah, like that one. This guy, okay, so there’s people hold, there’s a big burly man holding up a beaver by the hind legs. And you see the tail is only that big. But look at, look at that. So the, so the hips are at his nips and his and the nose is that the shin. And I bet that guy’s at least four foot tall. They’ve got to be a big beaver before they get the courage to come after you, to haunt you like that. And especially when you’re on a boat, that’s being propelled by wooden oars, you’re especially, it’s like you’re propelling the boat with the thing they love to eat. You know Winona has got herself a big brown Beaver and she strokes it all the time. Yep. Let’s get to the real ghosts. I’m tired, I’m tired of this beating around the bush. Okay, the beavers. All right, have at it, man. Use your spooky voice. This is from Sasa. Sasa, the vilber? The evil bear. The evil bear. That makes a lot more sense. My biggest scare is more spiritual. When I was 12 I was alone at home and I saw that on my bed was a dip like someone was sitting on the bed. When I did a double-take I saw the tip lift. No, the dip lift is what she meant to write. I saw the dip lift, like when someone stands up, I hid in the living room. #earbiscuits. Okay. That’s kind of mild, I mean- Could just be a faulty mattress. You saw a divot in your mattress that then plumpefied? At age 12? Age 12. How reliable are you at age 12? I mean, just talking hormones alone. Like if a 12 year old reporter came to you, I mean, first of all- Does he have a hat? Does it say press? No one trusts the media anymore anyway, much less a 12 year old reporter. So 12 year old reporter comes up and is just- I believe the children journalists are our future. Aliens landed in Belarus. You’d be like, okay, prove it, twelve-year-old. I think Sasa. I think you gotta, you gotta be looking for spooky things in order to see something like that. I don’t think, ’cause that’s not an attention grabbing thing. It’s not a cupboard slamming, you know, it’s not, it’s not someone like a possessed person yelling at you that normally loves you. I don’t know. I mean, listen- I don’t, I don’t discount it. You just did. I just think it’s, I think it’s a knit bit nitpicky. Oh, and to make it clear. I mean, we’re not trying to pick these apart, even though we just did with that one. I’m open to this. I just don’t. I think you have to be looking for something to spook you to see something detailed. That subtle? Yeah. Well, you don’t know how big the dip was. I mean, what if this was a thick ghost? You know, it depends on how big, how much the bed is being deformed. Like if I’m in a certain mindset, anything could scare me. Like when you make me watch the scary movies and then for the next week, or so, as I’ve said before, I ain’t ashamed to say it. I get scared taking out the trash. I mean, there’s like a, there’s a dark area where the trash can should go. I also get scared. Not necessarily taking the trash out. I have to run. I take the trash out and then I kind of run back like a beaver’s chasing. When I’m by myself in the woods, I get scared. And it is because of all the things that I put into my mind with horror movies and horror books. But I won’t, I can’t stop though. The thing that happened to me in my camping trip is not something that I, you know, I, to a fault, I wasn’t ready for something spooky to happen. Yeah, that’s been made clear with people’s reactions- Yeah. To your story. Of you not going outside when your wife was offered, well, was asked about hotdogs. @GoldenCheezie, William Millard tweeted, spooky voice. “When I was nine or 10,” already we don’t even remember what age we were. No, oh, “when I was nine and 10,” let’s say that, “we moved into a funeral home as part of the family business.” Oh snap. “I started to have persistent sleep paralysis and saw a figure both in the room when awake and in the elevator in my dreams. Those two years were probably the scariest in my life. They stopped after moving. Okay so- Funeral home, man at 10 years old? Okay, there’s three things. Is this funeral home with a fricking elevator in it and you’re living in it. You’re living in a freaking funeral home? It’s part of the family business. That’s wild. Sleep paralysis. I mean, the only thing scarier than sleep paralysis is like surgery paralysis. And I don’t even want to talk about that. All right. They are related. You’re afraid of sleep paralysis. ‘Cause you feel like you’ve had it at times, right? Well, that was an interesting way to put that. “You’re afraid of sleep paralysis because you’ve feel like you’ve had it.” I didn’t say feel, I said because you’ve had it. No, you said you feel like you had it. Did I say that? Yes. Okay. I have had it, but I have not had it in probably 10 or 15 years. I had it a lot as a kid and it slowly wore off in my twenties and I haven’t had it in many years. But a lot of people report seeing- So when you have sleep paralysis, you can see with your eyes, your eyes are open? Not for me. So, okay. For William, saw a figure in the room, Most people When awake, but in sleep paralysis. Most people sense the presence of a figure. Like what happens is, is you, your mind wakes up, but your body does not. And so you can, so you’re fully aware “I’m in my bed” and what happened with me, I would wake up and I would be like, “oh no, it’s happening again.” I can feel myself in my bed. I can feel the position that I’m in and I can’t move. I can’t open my eyes. I can’t do anything. And so you really, so you’re faced with a choice. Now you could be like, I’m just going to lay here and go back to sleep. But for me, I could never do that. I had to commit fully to getting out of it. And so I would like start trying to find a limb to move. And it would be like, and eventually you go like . And then you get out of it. What? That would happen to me pretty often growing up. It’s like breaking out of a shell or something? But some people when they wake up and they’re in that state, they will sense the presence. It’s very common. There’s a name for the, for the person, the ghost, it’s like a dark figure that they sense when they’re- Slender Man? In sleep paralysis. Slender Man may be based on this character, but it’s just this dark figure. Heard many people talk about it. I never saw the dark figure. Sleep paralysis. Common figures. People who experienced sleep paralysis have essentially woken up before they stopped dreaming. It’s an incredibly common sleep problem. An estimated 8% of people who experience it regularly. Ever wake up frozen in the middle of the night? What? And then see a pitch-black figure. Yeah. Okay, here it is. Imagine you’re asleep and you slowly open your eyes. This is KQED.org/science. Your body won’t move. If it’s this something holding you down, you hear scratching in the corner of the room, then see a pitch-black figure. You think it’s just your mind playing tricks until the figure starts moving slowly. It’s getting closer. You shut your eyes, but you can hear it shuffling toward you. This is what sleep paralysis is like. No, not for me. Sleep paralysis usually occurs when you’re, well, asleep. Your brain is telling you to go to sleep and to not move because when you walk around in your sleep, that’s not good, but some people have a problem with that not turning off so when they wake up, they still can’t move. Oh gosh. And people who are susceptible to sleep paralysis if I remember correctly, are more likely to have the surgery paralysis thing happen. Oh my gosh, that is a nightmare. William, I’m sorry that happened to you. Living in a funeral home. Oh my gosh. And then dreaming about the same person. Once you’ve seen something that freaks you out, dreaming about it, I guess makes sense. Or it could just be. I told this story on GMM years ago about my wife and I having a- Shared dream. Well, in my dream specifically, and I, and you can go back to the GMM ’cause it was much more fresh and I told it the very next day, but essentially what I dreamed is that I was in this elevator and the elevator opened and there was this little blonde girl who was, had evil intent of some kind. And it was very scary. And I woke up and I started talking to Jessie about it. And she had just had a dream at the same time, about a little blonde girl. And we were kind of just like- And what did I say? We just sat there in the bed kind of freaking out for a while. Well @jade_jenrg tweeted, “me and my family were talking about spooky ghost stuff and I said, how I’ve seen a girl with long hair and a long white nightgown run by my line of vision, out of the corner of my eye. And then my whole family starts sharing stories from when they’ve seen the same ghost with the same descriptions.” Having, other people experience the same thing, either in a dream or like, I mean, if you trust somebody who also sees the same thing you saw, then that makes you feel a little less crazy, but a lot more scared. And I got to, you know, Kiko is our producer editor of “Ear Biscuits” sitting in that, behind that glass in the other room right now, you know, he rolled up all of these, all these responses that you gave to us. But then he said, “and you know what? I actually have a story. If you want to talk about it, you can.” And he wrote it down. I’m gonna read it. And then I asked Kiko to get on the mic so that we could ask some follow-up questions because you know, I’ve never seen a ghost. I haven’t either. I have not been looking. So maybe that’s my problem. Well, I don’t know. But let me read Kiko’s story because though we’ve never seen ghost, we do have people in our lives over the years who would tell these compelling stories and they would have no reason to lie to us. We have every reason to believe them, Kiko, absolutely, being one of them. Yeah, someone who, according to their story, they honestly saw something they believe to be supernatural. Here’s Kiko story. Even though Kiko’s over there, I’m just going to read his story since it’s here. And you know, I’m a control freak. We’ve established. Yes. “I lived in an old house in Glendale for a few years, almost a decade ago. I was home alone, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I started feeling ice cold rage for absolutely no reason. If I could describe it, it physically felt like my blood was turning to ice. And my body felt like it was about to explode. This is completely abnormal for me because I’m actually a mellow person.” Well, we can vouch for that. Yes, very true. Kiko is extremely mellow. “I decided to go to bed and I was in this weird half awake, half asleep state where I was aware of my friend” and then Maggie, who is, who also works- Also works at “Mythical,” yeah. So we know both of them. So first of all, it seems like Kiko’s describing like a sleep paralysis situation. “I was aware of Maggie entering my room at like 3:00 AM because she was staying with me at the time, but I couldn’t wake up. Instead, I was dreaming that I was on top of this hill with autumnal leaves.” Oh, that’s a nice adjective. “But something was falling from the sky. When I climbed up to get a closer look, there was an angel descending, but it had black matted hair, a black toga and black wings with holes punched all over it” “I also heard from back in the real world, the sound is something running around, but I figured it was my roommate’s dog. That’s all I remember from the night. But according to my friend, Maggie, I was convulsing violently in my sleep when she entered the room. The convulsions gradually got more and more violent until I slammed the wall with my fist. And my body suddenly became stiff.” Could you imagine Maggie? Maggie’s so, talk about laid back, Maggie is so quiet. So quiet in fact that she decided not to wake Kiko up. “Was like, oh, he punched a wall, but he’s asleep now. It’s 3:00 AM, I’mma leave him be.” Continuing Kikos account, “I spoke of my roommate the next morning at the gym and apparently he was staying in the basement with his twin sister who was visiting that night.” Talk about, now we’ve got a twin involved. This is getting really spooky. Yeah, twins are always creepy. So his roommate’s downstairs with the twin. Maggie’s upstairs at 3:00 AM seeing Kiko convulsing. “When the twin came downstairs, she said she saw, Kiko’s roommate, trying to climb the wall aggressively.” Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. “When she asked what he was doing, he flipped around and violently started screaming at her. He had never yelled at her in his entire life. When she cried for him to stop, he calmed down. But he doesn’t remember any of this. His sister, twin sister, had to fill him in on it the next morning, before he went to the gym to tell Kiko what had happened.” Now, I once found you the middle of the night when you came to sleep at my house. Yeah. When we were kids, just to clarify, we were children at a time and we were staying in what we called the extra room. Yeah. And I woke up to the sound of scratching and you were standing up next to the door, like there’s the door and then there’s the wall next to the door. And you were next to the door on the wall and you were just kinda going like eh, eh, eh, kind of scratching the wall. Scratching the wall. Like you were trying to get out, but you couldn’t find the door. Pretty scary. That’s scary. That’s like- If I turned around and would have yelled at you like the twin. Yeah, it’s like the end of the “Blair Witch Project” where there’s like the dude, like just standing facing away. Oh, I haven’t seen it. You know, it, but for some reason I knew you were sleepwalking so it didn’t really scare me. The story’s not over. Yeah. So Kiko’s roommate tells Kiko what what his twin told him before he got to the gym. “So when we returned from the gym, his twin sister repeated the story and mentioned she had heard something running around on the first floor. I told her I had heard that too, but I thought it was a dog. According to her, the dog was in the basement with them the entire time. The roommate rushes down to the basement. No, my roommate then rushes down to the basement because he said he forgot his phone down there from last night. A split second later he runs back up the stairs, literally crying, telling us not to go down the stairs. He describes a tall, lanky thing that was crouched in the fireplace.” Oh gosh. It wasn’t me. I fit the description, but it wasn’t me. “When all three of us went down.” First of all, all three of them did go down. Yeah, it’s like a horror movie. “When all three of us went down, there was nothing there. At the time, I didn’t mention my dream because I thought it was stupid and probably irrelevant.” “But a year later, after many more occurrences, we were talking about that initial incident at a pool party. It’s then that I told him about my dream and the dark angel figure floating down from the sky, with the holes in the wings. His face goes pale and he starts to freak out. When I ask ‘what’s wrong?’ his response was, ‘that thing you described falling from the sky, sounds exactly like the thing I saw in the fireplace of the basement the next morning.’” Glendale. Kiko, get on the mic, man. Yeah. All right. Is this true, man? This is true. Every bit of this? No embellishment? No embellishment. Every bit of it to my memory. Now, when you say throughout the years, there were many more things that happened, such as “my roommate seeing figures and shadows, random objects around, doors closing, to top it all off my roommates, seeing a copy of me walking around the house when I was in the living room.” Okay. So how long did you stick around? Way longer than we should have, two years. So you, you were convinced that this place was haunted or how did you, what did you come to believe? And then how did you, how did you go on living there? Like what did you practically do? Did you start talking to the demon? So I asked one of my friends who was religious after this stuff happened, the first few incidents. And he was like, “oh, do you have anything voodoo in your house?” And I actually did. My friend had gone to New Orleans and brought back this like little set of mini figurines. I think you’re supposed to put them by your bed for them to take away nightmares. But he was like, “oh, I would get rid of those just in case.” And I did and everything that happened afterwards, except for the copy of me walking around the house, wasn’t really malicious. It was just like, “oh, hey, I’m here. I’m going to open this double folded door really slowly that a wind can’t do” and you know, stuff like that. So you’re but your roommate, who’s a twin. Twins are so creepy, man. I mean, literally came up the stairs crying. I mean, there was no doubt in your, even though you didn’t see the creature, except in your dream, there was, and you know, you didn’t share the description until a year later because there was, so there was no way that your experience, even though it mirrored, it reflected his, had anything to do with it. Right. I mean, but you could tell just by the terror on his face, that, that there was that it was that it was true? Yeah. Why did you go down there? You’re like when all three of us went down there, it was gone. Well, when he first came up, I thought he was joking to be honest, because he kind of has a morbid sense of humor. He’s the type of person that would be unplugging something and then convulse like as if he got electrocuted. Yeah. So I didn’t believe him at first, but then when I saw like actual tears running down his face, it’s like, well, like I kind of want to check it out, but I was also scared. So I actually have a samurai sword in my room. So I took the samurai sword and brought it downstairs. You know those ghosts, man, it’ll slice ’em right in half. Medieval on his ass. That is just weird, man. So going into it. Did you, like, what was your level of openness about supernatural things going into it, living there? It’s, you know, I, there was one other thing that happened previously to me where it was like, “oh, it could be just me or it could be maybe something more,” but it wasn’t enough for me to make me believe in supernatural stuff. I guess, I’m kind of, I was just kind of open to it, but nothing that drastic had ever happened before. I mean, I believe you. And I believe, I mean, we’ve got other close friends who’ve had like super creepy. Your hair looks like George Jones right now. All of a sudden. I’m talking about something creepy. No, like I, it looks good. Oh, it does? You looked at me and you had the headphones on and your hair. I was like, Oh, thank you. It’s starting to look like, I think you could do, do you, I know you think about cutting it. Think a pompadour? You need to, before you cut it, see if you can style it exactly like George Jones in his heyday. It’s so long now. Like pompadour it out. And it’s like getting a little bit gray. I think he might have something here. Sorry. You’re clearly not creeped out by this story, but I appreciate the compliment. I knew you would. Well, I’m trying to think of a George Jones song to sing. There’s some ones about ghosts. He’s got some stuff about ghosts. There’s one about a picture. Nevermind, anyway, so you thought, I mean, you think this was a demon? I mean, you were climbing, you were fighting something and then he was fricking climbing walls and like yelling, the fact that you had this shared like hysterical moment in the middle of the night. Yeah. And also too, the whole, his twin sister seeing it, and then Maggie seeing it because they would have no reason to make that stuff up. Right, like Maggie’s seeing you freaking out. And then at the same time the sister seeing him freaking out downstairs. You were responding. This demon came down, you know, it was shot up by like angels with like a, like a shotgun, like had bullet holes, riddled through it’s- Angel buckshot. Yeah, angel buckshot, can’t say it. You think angels got shotguns? And then it came down your chimney dude. Yeah. Let’s let’s back up a little bit, okay. So I’m just, cause I’m going to try to, I’m just going to try to think- Imagine a world where no demons I’m just going to try to, so if you go back to like go back to like the, the way I was raised in like my sort of ideology, belief system, worldview growing up, and that was. You can say we were raised. We were raised yeah. Evangelical Christianity and a particular strain of evangelical Christianity. So not like the charismatic where there’s like a, you know, you’ve got like Pentecostal. We didn’t believe in angels and demons interacting with humans. Well, no we did, but we didn’t really, We believe in the biblical accounts of it happening in the past. And we believed that it was possible. But we believe that it didn’t, there was no need for it. Well, that may be specifically what you, what you thought looked like. But I didn’t, you’re talking about like the dispensations and I didn’t think that supernatural things didn’t happen. And like, when I heard, like, you know, Catholic priests talking about exorcisms, or like Pentecostal pastors talking about exorcisms, I was like, this is probably not real. Even as someone who subscribed to a quote unquote, supernatural worldview, and believe that these things were real, I just didn’t think that they were happening at that frequency and, you know, and so I didn’t find myself getting scared. And, but also based on the particulars, like interpretation of the Bible that we had, we didn’t believe in ghosts, like absent from the body, present with the father, right? So there is a, you’re either alive and your spirit is inside of you or your spirit is gone to, you know, heaven or hell, it’s a little more complicated than that, but it’s not like you got ghosts going around, right. So like we thought the whole idea of ghosts was like, well, if there’s any ghost activity- Yeah. This is actually a demonic activity. This is, you know, Satan and the fallen angels. Now, again I had this intellectual understanding of this stuff, but I didn’t, I didn’t really, I mean, I guess I could, I guess if you press me, I would say, I believe it, but I never experienced anything that I would attribute to this demonic activity. However, I had many good friends, people I was very close to who had, had really convincing supernatural experiences, most often in like other cultures and other places like, “oh, I was a missionary in Africa or missionary in the Caribbean or whatever.” And so you go into a place where there’s like a different sort of spiritual energy, and then they would have these stories about people growing fangs and, you know, and they, and I do not believe that they were making it up. I do not believe that they were lying to me, but there was always a part of me, regardless of how reliable I thought the person was. That was just like, yeah, but there’s probably- They’re deceived by something in their brain. There’s probably a natural explanation for this. That doesn’t mean that they’re dishonest, but it means that like, you know, our brains are kind of wired to see things and to interpret things in ways that might not necessarily represent reality. If, I mean, that’s been proven that your brain and your, the way your eyes send the messages to your brain, like, you’re not really seeing reality. You’re seeing a projection, a representation of reality, right. And things can kind of get screwed up, but when it, so, but I’m saying the way that I used to think about it. And it was nice to think that. And, but now I’d like to go back there. Now it’s kind of like- Just dismiss it all. I don’t have a, because I’m in a place in my life from a spiritual perspective where I don’t have, I don’t believe that certainty about this kind of thing is possible. I just sort of have this sort of like openness to hear people talk about it and be like, “wow, I don’t know what happened.” And I feel like me trying to explain it, it’s just going to do a disservice, to your experience. It doesn’t help that there’s a lot of people out there who are preying on people’s hopes of connecting with the, their loved ones who’ve gone, who’ve died. Who’ve gone on to the afterlife or maybe are lingering by their claims. You know, there’s a lot of quacks who’ve been disproven. Well, what do you think’s more likely? I actually went back and watched like the Penn and Teller show, “Bullshit” and they had an episode on the psychic readings and like accessing people from the dead. And they basically debunked a couple of people. And then it draws into question the whole thing. But like, there’s this, like all of these independent variables, that all point to the same independent corroboration, you know, starts to make it quite a head-scratcher. And like- You’re upstairs having this experience. I’m downstairs having this experience. But if it was just, “I saw a figure in the fireplace,” it’s like, well, I, you know, I’ve, you know, I’ve seen a long nose man in my own poop, you know, it’s, you can. That’s a little different, a long nose man? Yeah. Is that a saying that you just came up with? Yeah, did sound like a fable? It sounded like it could be like an old saying. Yeah. You’re seeing a long nose man in your own poop. That’s that’s what makes me worth listening to. You listen to me and you think you’re listening to a fable. The question is if these things are- Oh, I just got freaking spooked. Yeah, ’cause it’s in your mind now. I don’t know, if you watch the video back, It’s implanted. I literally, I just got spooked. I thought I heard something. Mhm. It was my feet moving under the table. It was? And it bounced off the wall and you turned around and got freaked out ’cause it was in your mind. And now I’m scared. And I have a little bit of a headache. But okay, but answer me this, or try, let’s talk about this. If these, you know, again, it’s so interesting to think about, because first of all. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. No, if you think about- Tonight, when I’m- Hold on, just let me finish the thought. If you think about supernatural things, you know, there’s a lot of people who have a perspective that, what does that even mean? Supernatural means like beyond natural, right? So if it seems like what the implication is, is that there’s something that is beyond the observable world, right. But. A non-physical realm. But why does whatever that is and whatever people are experiencing, why is that supernatural? Why is it not just the case that it’s all natural, it’s all within our experience. It’s just, there’s certain things that we don’t yet understand and can’t yet explain, like we have not developed the capacity. You go back just a couple of hundred years, go back a hundred years, and if I were to tell you that there are literally trillions of little creatures all over you right now, you’d think I was nuts, right? Yeah. I’d be like right around your eyes, especially. There’s a bunch of crazy little creatures that if I were to draw a picture of what this creature looks like, you would be like, “he’s a demon.” Right? But it’s just bacteria, right? And so, and now we have the ability to see it. We figured out how to make things really magnified. And we can now see, when I look at you, I don’t see anything. I can get as close as I want to, to your face. I don’t see anything. But if I have the right tools to measure it and to observe it, I would be totally freaked out by what’s on your face right now. And so my question is, is it just that we’ve been experiencing these hints of something that is outside, not of our, it’s not outside of the natural world, but it’s just outside of our ability to comprehend. Perception. And understand at the current time. Except in certain instances where they slip up and cross over to our realm. And it is freaky. But again, you go back to pre any discovery and I were, if I were to tell you these things, it would freak you out, right? So to me, it’s a little bit more comforting when I think like, when I think about it in terms of like, I have to put it into some sort of established system or worldview, like this is evil and this is good, these are demons, these are angels, these are ghosts. It’s just like, okay, it’s, okay, if I’m betting, I’m saying that if I had to bet, I would say, yes, there is something that is actually being experienced that is not just limited to some sort of perception issue in someone’s mind. Kiko are you, Rhett said, he’s having a bet here, but what is your, what is your percent confidence that there is, however you would describe it? A supernatural realm, a spiritual realm. How percent confident am I? Yeah. After those couple of experiences, those few years, I mean, it’s pretty high. Like I would say at least 80% just because it wasn’t just. Okay, so you still got 20%, there’s still some doubt. Yeah. There’s this, I feel like I’m always going to have a little bit of doubt, but there’s just because I told the story of me and my roommate, but we actually had up to nine people living in that house at one time, because it was a three-story house. It was a commune, I get it. And out of those nine people, at least seven had something happened to them. And a bunch of those people actually didn’t believe in supernatural stuff at all, when they first came in, like they, they knew our story, ’cause we were one of the first ones to move in, but they just didn’t really believe it. So yeah, I would, I would say like 80%. If you would gone to downstairs and seen the, I’m calling it a demon, do you call it a demon? Sure. I’m not asking you. I just happened to be looking at you. Yeah, demon. Okay. If you would’ve seen it crouched, when you went down there, you’d probably be at a hundred percent, right? Yeah, absolutely. Right, because your experience was, you saw it in the dream and then you saw other things like doors. Somebody else saw it in real life. Windows, heard things, heard things moving around. Yeah, it was, and a couple of roommates saw like a man kind of floating from one room to the next. And Maggie actually had a story where like the sham, she was taking a shower in my shower and the shampoo bottle kind of started swaying all of a sudden, not an earthquake just randomly one shampoo bottle started swaying and she ran out and the dog came bursting in and started barking. And she said, you could see his eye-line going from the bathroom where she was taking the shower, to the door that led out of my room. And then he calmed down. That’s bad. And see dogs- Don’t bring a shower into this Kiko. I take a shower every day, pretty much. Dogs, yeah but you have a window in your shower. That’s not, that seems not freaky. It’s an exit like for me. Dogs and little children, right? Before you develop this like full consciousness, which is actually, you kind are turning some parts of your consciousness off. Okay. You have the ability, potentially, I’m just kind of going out on a limb here, right? This is what some people would say. They have the ability because they aren’t yet, haven’t yet decided to tune certain things out in the way that adults have. They have, they have the ability to perceive it. They’ve got the instrumentation, young kids and dogs, young kids and animals. They can see this stuff, man. But okay, what about the people- Clearly I have a bias because I’m afraid. Yeah, you’re saying you don’t want it to be real because it freaks you out. Right. I’m just trying to, I’m just legitimately asking the question like, okay, what if this stuff is real and we just don’t, we kind of, we find ways to like categorize it and we find ways to explain it. What about the people who, ’cause everyone who’s like dedicated their lives to being like, “I’m going to go out and I’m going to try to find scientific evidence of this stuff,” right? I mean, sure, you’ve got your like ghosts people who have like the weird like little meter that’s like measuring stuff. I can’t believe that there’s any sort of alleged, I wouldn’t think that there would actually be like an electromagnetic signature for spiritual activity. It feels like, it feels like you’re going into a situation and you’re trying to like, smell something that you could only feel. You know what I mean? Like you’re using the wrong faculties to detect something. I don’t know. That’s just my guess. How would we know though? But It just feels like it wouldn’t surprise me, either option wouldn’t surprise me. If it’s all just weird things that happen in people’s minds. Circumstantial. And like, you’ve got this situation where like Kiko says, okay, well there were seven, nine people living there. Seven people experienced it. And these people didn’t believe in supernatural things, but yet they did know they were moving into a house where other people had seen things. And so all now all of a sudden, your mind is like attuned to it. Just like you thought you saw something over your shoulder a second ago, ’cause we’re talking about it. Did the roommate, who was dreaming and climbing up the wall and yelling at his twin sister, did he describe his dream? Does his dream have anything to do with this demon? No, he actually doesn’t remember anything. Hmm. Yeah, his sister just filled him in on everything, but yeah, he doesn’t remember dreaming about anything. That’s powerful. Well, here’s another question for you. Kiko, you’re fired. What! You can’t be around anymore. I know you wanting to move on ’cause I can tell you’re scared, but I’m gonna make you, I’m gonna make you stick with this. We’re gonna have to find a new Kiko. If you, okay, you said you didn’t want this to be true. Right? And I understand that. I don’t really have a position, I don’t think, I just want to know if it’s true, but let’s just say that you experienced something like maybe like, okay, me and you go on a camping trip and it gets dark and then we light the fire and all of a sudden, like you’re kinda having a conversation with me and then the next thing you know, I just literally start floating in the air and I float above you. And then I start going in circles around you. And then when I open my mouth- What’s your tongue like? Forked, it’s a forked tongue. Oh. Start speaking in a different language, it sounds like it might be Latin, but you don’t know. You didn’t take Latin, neither did I. So, but you’re like, he certainly sounds like he’s speaking Latin. Some English words are from Latin. Yeah, can just discover a few root words. And so maybe there’s some meaning in it. And then I go in, I like get into the fire and I like put my face into the fire and my flesh melts off of my face and it’s just my skeleton, even while I’m still speaking in Latin. And then I reach down and I pick the pieces of melted flesh out of the fire. And I put them back on my face in like a puzzle, still speaking Latin. It all comes together. I float back, sit down and my camp chair, my REI fold-out camp chair. And then all of a sudden, poof, I go completely back to normal. So that would be difficult to like deny, right? Well. If that exact scenario happened now, what would happen in your, your worldview, would be effected in what way if that were to happen? Well, Christy would know what to do. Go get a wet rag. I want you to seriously answer the question. Like what would you- That’d change everything. What would you, it would? No, it wouldn’t change- Change everything. I would believe. Believe what? I would believe what I would believe that, I believe it all, man. I’d believe it all. But what does that mean? That I would be afraid to go camping again. I mean, it’s again, it’s like, it’s I don’t. I mean you and you revel in like it’s entertaining for you to be scared, but like this is getting too real for me. No man, that’s not, I know that it scares you. I’m just saying, that’s what it would do to me. It might, it might paralyze me socially, emotionally. It would be, it would be trauma. But would you think it was like a message from God? That you’ve strayed that you, that you’re, that your best friend is being, is being led by a demon. Now, if you had a message in English that I could understand, that would be something to reckon with. Hmm. Okay, well, I’ll make sure I’ll have a message. Before you put your melted face back on. When this happens. I guess the reason I’m asking the question is because- You’re playing, see you’re a child playing with firecrackers. You don’t know what real explosives are like. And if you ever, if you ever went through what Kiko or his roommate twin went through, you wouldn’t be so lighthearted about this. I actually have a sober view of it. This is a coping mechanism. I, I, yeah, I, it is a coping mechanism, but one could argue that I’m much more like a believer than you are. My coping mechanism is to make it funny. Exactly. You’re just as afraid as me. I didn’t say I wasn’t afraid. I just said I liked being afraid. I hate it and I like it at the same time. You like being afraid, knowing that it’s not real in the back, of the back, of the back of your mind. No. No, no. Because, knowing that it might be real is the only reason I’m scared. Those moments when I’m like, hold on aliens could exist. Like I get, that makes my stomach drop. Like anything that’s like that cataclysmically groundbreaking knowledge. What is scaring you in that moment? ‘Cause aliens- You’re right. Honestly, demon stuff scares me, don’t like those movies. I do like those movies, I love them. And I hate them at the same time. And the reason I hate him is because I can easily buy into it, right? There’s a lot of people who watch that stuff, and they’re like, “I know this isn’t real.” But you’re simulating something that if it was really happening, I think you might, it might damage you. I think it would damage you. Well, I’m not, that’s not, the question I’m interested in is what it would, what I would think after it, right? I’m just saying it’s like, I don’t- Plenty of people believe and they actually seem fine, actually. You know, there’s, I mean, Kiko is 80%. He’s pretty cool. He’s healthy. I’m not saying any either way would be good or bad, that I’m- I’m trying to answer your question, I just- I’m just trying to figure out what I would think. ‘Cause there was a time at which if I saw something- I’m saying I would, there’s plenty of people who do believe that, let’s look at what they think. And it’s like, that actually gives me hope that like- Well they believe all kinds of different things. Yeah, I mean, there are- I guess is what I’m saying. ‘Cause some people would file it. Some people experienced something and they have to file it into a preexisting ideology, right? And there’s a big portion of my life, especially like, as I was kind of coming out of Christianity, whereas if I experienced something definitively supernatural, it would have been the tipping point of thrust me back into traditional Christian faith. Now, if I experience something like that, I think that the conclusion I would come to is, “oh, that stuff happens. I don’t know what exactly what it means,” but I wouldn’t necessarily be like, “oh, I need to orient it into a belief system.” You know what I’m saying? Like, I don’t feel that, I, I don’t know. That’s why I was asking the question. I think it would make me feel like I needed to make sense of it. I needed to more aggressively pursue some sort of belief system. That’s probably true. That explained it. I think it would drive me to a more aggressive quest for nailing down some beliefs. Otherwise I’ve been pretty comfortable, just kind of floating, floating on love. But the chances are, if either of us experienced something, it’s going to be in this, Veiled thing. Sort of ambiguous category where you can just make it, you’ve already made up your mind. That’s where faith comes in it. ‘Cause you could experience something and like you could take it at face value or you could just write it off and say, “that was only in my mind.” And you probably have made the decision before the experience. Hmm. Right. Or the decision was made for you by the, by the one that possesses you, which we call fate but others call demons. I don’t know. I believe you, Kiko. I believe you too. 80%. I mean, if you’re not, he’s not even a hundred percent. It was never, it was never on the table whether I believed him or believe we have another really good friend, who’s seen a lot of stuff. Yeah. I do not have any doubt that he has experienced the things that he says he has experienced. The question is what is it? And that’s where I’m just like, I don’t know. And even if I experienced the exact same things, I don’t think I would be like, “oh, I know now.” I think I would just be more confused, but I kind of do think it would be cool for it to happen. Until it does. No. I hope I’m not there. Nope, no, I hope you are there because think about the episode of “Ear Biscuits” that we’d get out of it. Yeah. If we’re both there. That will be a redemptive quality to the experience. And you know how like Britton goes off and he, and he doesn’t just go to haunted houses. Like Britton goes to the historically haunted places like the most haunted places back when you could travel, he would go to these places, spend the night at a place that had a reputation for being haunted. Like he’s trying to get to the bottom of it. And I really like that. I really respect that. Like I would love- I don’t think he’s investigating. I think he’s just, he’s in it for the thrill. The thrill of it, yeah. But, and I’m saying that I totally get that. Like it’s thrilling. I understand that until- You’re saying, until it happens at that point, I’d be like, “oh, I, this was a mistake.” Is that what you think would happen? Yeah, yes. I think I would- Because that’s being real scary. I think what would happen is I would be like, “this is super scary and this is exactly what I was after.” Like when you got really scared in the haunted mazes, you would applaud like an old man. The reason I applaud like an old man is because I am an old man. And the reason I applaud, especially when we went through the- Us maze. Us maze, ’cause it was so well done. And I’m like, so scared. Like- Something jumps in your face and scares you and you applaud at ’em. Well, here’s the thing. When you go to these haunted houses. You’re going to do that to a real ghost? I don’t think you will. No, precisely. Exactly. Precisely. You need a bigger fix. The reason I’m clapping is because I’m like, “you brought me to the verge of peeing on myself,” like- Bravo, young child! You know what I’m saying? Like, “yes, this is great, yes, daddy is happy.” But daddy knows that this is fake. But when daddy doesn’t know that it’s fake, daddy’s not going to be clapping. Daddy’s gonna be crappin’. And I’m saying, I don’t want something to make me clap. I want something to make me crap, man. Kiko, thanks for sharing your story. Kiko, you gotta give us that address so we can go check it out. Yeah, after the podcast for sure. I’m sure. Man. If you’ve seen a ghost, you’re like, I don’t know how you feel about what, #EarBiscuits You got so uncomfortable. the past, like 20 minutes you’ve been really uncomfortable. I’m scared man. Ever since you saw that thing. I didn’t see it, I thought I saw it. Think about it, man. We could go get to a haunted house. Think of how funny it would be like, it’s fun for you to get scared like this, or for me. Is that not fun for you? You’re not going to answer me? Okay, I have a rec. That’s all, you know, in the same vein, but a totally different direction. That’s called an artery. A movie that you should watch, if you want to get yourself in the Halloween spirit. It’s almost too late. But you don’t want to be scared. Oh yes. I know the video of this is coming out after Halloween. But I mean, I still, I mean, it’s just, just removed from it. “Hocus Pocus.” Watched that with the family the other night. And the reason I watched it is because Stevie has talked about this movie quite often. In fact, Tobias Jelinek, a friend of ours who was Dylan in “Buddy System” who’s an incredible actor. He’s been in a bunch of things. His first gig as a teenager was playing like the high school bully in “Hocus Pocus.” And when he came to audition for the role of Dylan, Stevie was like, “where I recognized this guy’s face from?” and it was “Hocus Pocus.” I’d never seen it. Jessie was like, “let’s watch Hocus Pocus.” I’ve never seen it. And you know- We were too old for it. You gotta know what you’re getting into. You’re getting into a 1993 Disney movie starring Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker as witches. And the, I can’t remember the third actor’s name, but it’s ridiculous. There’s musical numbers. You’re kind of laughing at the nineties as you enjoy it, but you have to go into it with that level of expectation that you’re laughing at them. Did Shepherd like it? Yeah. He did? Yeah. But he, he liked it on a cynical level. We watch those kinds of like, he gets a kick out of watching things that were kind of come from the era of when we were his age or close to it. So you go in with that kind of expectation, not like this as some like classic movie, that’s gonna hold up. I mean, it’s like 37% on rotten tomatoes. It’s not, you know, a critically acclaimed movie. He’s 12 years old. Does he have his press credentials? No, he could be a reporter. Yeah, send him to, I’ll send you, you know, I’m going to send Shepherd to this address in Glendale with a notepad, have him do a little report for us. A hat with a press card in it. “Hocus Pocus.” Watch it. #EarBiscuits. We’ll talk at you next week. To watch more “Ear Biscuits” click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.