Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting we’re gonna be filling each other in on a few things, catching each other up. Oh. And in the process, filling you in, catching you up on a number of things that we have experienced in life, just living life as people who live lives. I have recently experienced a life change that I didn’t anticipate. Oh. Life change? Yeah. You’re looking over my body? Are you over promising? I’m over promising. And under delivering? But I need to talk about it, ’cause I need some… Well, this is a safe space. I just haven’t wrapped my mind around it, and… You’ll only be slightly ridiculed. I’ve also discovered a contraption in my travels that I just, I want you to know about. Oh, okay. What you got for me? I’m intrigued. I’ve got a little dream I would like to share with you that just happened this morning. I’ve got, you know, an event, a traumatic event that I was, you know, I kind of lent a hand in in a way that is not really, Caused? it’s not really true to my… It doesn’t play on my strength, but I got some feedback and apparently I did a great job, so I’m gonna brag on myself a little bit. So that’s you’re talking about it. Okay. Something you didn’t think you were good at, you got good feedback, so you have to tell us. And if we get to it, I’ve got something to talk about that we have talked about, but we haven’t talked about it extensively in the context that I think it might apply to us and our work, so who knows what we’ll get to, but I’m over promising so we can under deliver. Good, good, good. Well, let’s start with the dream. You said, you know that the dream was this morning. You like woke up from the dream? Alarm clock? It was, yeah. It was, no. It was an early morning dream. Woke up, went back to, or like, I’m talking like a 3:00 AM. This was maybe like the first dream cycle or something, but yeah. Okay. Are you questioning whether or not, it’s like, “Sir, how do you know that it was last night?” Like what do you mean? No, you just said this morning. Sounds like… It literally happened, yeah. I’m not making up that it was this morning. Sometimes when you wake up out of a dream, that’s very visceral. Yeah, and when I woke up, I was like, “Oh.” I was trying to remember the most recent dream, and I could only get a previous dream. You know how that happened sometimes? So I don’t remember the most recent dream, but the previous dream was, maybe you can help me understand the significance of this. Okay. I was at a restaurant with my family, but it was not the current year. It was like, Shepherd was probably five or six. Oh, flashback. That’s weird. And I did not question that at all. No, you never do in your dream. You don’t really question that kind of thing. That’s an interesting thing. You kind of go with it. We can learn something from that. In our waking lives. It was, you know, what you might call like an O’Charley’s kind of restaurant, you know? That adds up. When Shepherd was five, you were big on the O’Charley’s. Kids eat free. Oh, well, I didn’t even know that. But that’s probably why I was there in my dream. There was one next to the hospital where our babies were delivered back in Cary. Western Wake, I think it’s what they call it now. Kids eat free. I don’t know that it was an O’Charley’s. I’m just saying it was O’Charley’s-like. And can I say that It’s not great. if you don’t have kids, and you show up at a kids’ eat free night at a place like O’Charley’s, you are not gonna be a happy camper. I don’t know if they still do that. Because they don’t separate you. Like kids or no kids is what should be. Kids section. That’s what they should have done with smoking and non-smoking. When that changed, ’cause we remember when that was a thing. I do think you can still smoke at O Charley’s, though. Yeah, if you’re under a certain age. If you’re a kid. Yeah. Kids get free cigarettes. Right. All the cigarettes they want. They should separate, you know, like that hot tub place we went to in Durango. They separated the families from the adults. Yeah, kids ruin quite a bit of things. Especially other people’s kids. Exactly. And a lot of times your own kids. Oh yeah. Yeah. But, you know, there are many sweet moments. I don’t regret a moment. Well, I don’t regret… You don’t regret any of the wet… I don’t regret being a dad. You don’t regret the sweet moments. And I was having a sweet moment with my, you know, like Shepherd was still in the like as a five, six-year-old, whatever, still in the very, like, you know, they’re just so cute. You know, they’re just, your kids are cute. At some point your kids are no longer cute. My kids are not cute anymore. You said it. I mean, well, you said it. You said it. I emphasized that in an insulting way. I’m sorry. On the table. They’re good looking guys. At the table next to us, like very close, by the way. It was almost like we were in a booth and we’re kind of back to back, Okay. was Matt Damon. Hey. He’s been in a lot of movies. And I think the reason that Matt Damon was in my dream, just to kind of give you the practical reason, is that I stumbled upon a TikTok of him being interviewed talking about Tom Cruise telling a story about the stunts that he does in “Mission Impossible.” It’s not even a recent clip. It’s something you’ve probably seen, where like Matt Damon is essentially doing an impersonation of how intense Tom Cruise is when he tells you about the stunts that he does. Okay. And it kind of stuck with me, apparently. I saw the beginning of that and I scrolled. But the interesting… I didn’t finish it, just to be clear, when I kind of knew where it was going, I was like, “I got it. Matt Damon.” But one of the things that happened in my mind, apparently then manifested itself in my dream, is that the Tom Cruise, Matt Damon sort of connection ended up being Matt Damon with the haircut that Tom Cruise had in “The Last Samurai.” So like the culturally appropriated like samurai haircut that he had in that movie was the one that Matt Damon had in this. And I’m actually confused, because Matt Damon also in a… He also did a similar thing, I think. A samurai movie, and got the same criticism. Right, so maybe that was also happening. But it was like a Supercuts version of the “Last Samurai” haircut. Describe it. I can’t picture it. A bowl cut? Well, I mean, essentially, and I’m not saying I’m guilty of this, but if you have long hair and you put your hair up in a bun and you leave some of it down, but there’s other things that… And then if you dress like a samurai, then you’ve completed the package. I do that sometimes, and I say it’s a Viking thing, so that it’s not appropriation, because, you know, that’s my heritage. So, anyway. It’s a Viking thing, he says. But he had the Supercuts version of that. And what I mean by that is he essentially had the haircut that many of our friends, including you, had in high school, where it was completely shaved. The undercut. The shave. But then he had taken the top part and put it in a, not a bun, but like a pony, and it was very like, Supercuts “Last Samurai.” That’s what I was thinking at the time. I was like, “Oh, he must be making a film.” And he’s just got, it’s a break and he’s… Oh, he must be making that mistake again. He’s at O’Charley’s to smoke cigarettes with children in between, you know, scenes. But I got this idea that I was gonna kind of unleash on my family in the dream, and that was, I was going to… And it’s ironic that we’re coming out of our company-wide meeting, which often starts with people talking about celebrity sightings. But what I was telling my kids was, “Guys, guess what celebrity I saw today?” And it was kinda like I was playing I Spy, and it was gonna be the surprise was that it’s Matt Damon and he’s right behind you. And I did that, and I don’t remember many details, but I woke up because I was so anticipating the surprise of saying, “It’s Matt Damon.” But Matt Damon would’ve heard you say that. Oh yeah. And that was the plan. Oh! Was for me to say, “It’s Matt Damon,” and then him to turn around and my whole family’s looking at him. That was the plan. He would’ve loved it. It didn’t come to fruition. He would have loved it. He would’ve whipped that ponytail around. He might would’ve taken off It was pretty short, though. the head of one of your boys. It was only a couple inches short. Long. I do want to clarify that I had the soccer undercut as a senior in high school, but it was never long enough to put in a thing, and I never attempted that. I question, have you seen our prom picture? You think it was long enough? It was… You grew that… – I never put it in the thing. I never put it in a ponytail. I think it was long… I think you could’ve done it on top, and maybe not all the way back. I think you had enough. But I didn’t, But you didn’t do it. And that’s the point I’m making. You didn’t do it. I didn’t cross that line. Eh, I think you missed an opportunity. It’s, you know, I’m self-conscious about it, and I do it out practicality, but I just think that, I don’t know, it’s a weird thing to judge, you know what I’m saying? Because it’s like, if you’ve got long hair as a man and you don’t want it to be in your face, what are your options? Ponytail? You think I should have a ponytail? You want me to have a pony? I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to give input. Oh, well, you sound like you were. I was talking about me. Yeah, I know. And you’re making it about you. But the implied judgment was that you were too good to ever have a top knot. And so I’m like, “Here I am. Sometimes I have one.” I’m just making it about me. Okay. Well, all right. Okay. So you love mine. That’s what you’re saying. You love it when I do that. I just, you know, I don’t have to have an opinion on it, and I don’t. I officially That’s good. don’t have an opinion on it. It’s good to know. That’s good to know. I had a dream. Honestly, I was starting to think about the dream I had, ’cause I remembered it, and then that’s why I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t listening to you anymore. Oh, great. So I didn’t hear you talking about it. That’s good to know. And then like you brought me back and here we’re talking about you now. And I was thinking about me. It was my dream. Okay, so what happened in your dream? It was your dream. My dream’s over. I woke up. I really don’t wanna talk about it. Wow. I was at a camp. Oh, okay. You do. And I didn’t want to, and I think I was my age, but that wasn’t a problem. That wasn’t a weird part about it. How old were the campers? They were like high school, college age. It was kind of weird. And of course, so I blended right in. You weren’t a counselor, you were a camper. Yeah, I was, “Hello, fellow campers,” kind of a thing. And I didn’t want to go to any of the programming, so I didn’t. And then I was just kind of moping around, and people started coming up to me and saying like, “What are you doing? You’re not…” And I didn’t have a good reason. I was just like the biggest downer at this camp, just moping around not doing any of the activities. That was my dream. And I woke up. Thanks for sharing. I just, I know, I’m like. Sounds fun. You reminded me of it. I’m like, it wasn’t a good showing. And now I woke up not feeling, I can’t shake the feeling of it. Of camp? Of being disappointed in myself. Oh. I think that’s what’s I’m experiencing right now, dude. This is actually kind of funny, because, as you know, Shepherd returned from two weeks at kind of like a scuba/sailing camp. A water camp. And at the recommendation of a Mythical Beast. I don’t often check my Instagram DMs, but because it’s rarely of any benefit to me. Okay. Real talk. We talked about how much Shepherd was enjoying scuba diving right here on this podcast, and a Mythical Beast who had listened to that episode sent a message and said, “Might I highly recommend this camp where he can go and scuba dive?” And I was like, “This is great.” We’ve been trying to figure out what we’re gonna get Shepherd to do for the summer, kind of wanna occupy him. He occupies himself, but, you know, like I just, I’ve always… Channel that passion, man. I’ve always wanted him, and it wasn’t just about the passion of scuba diving. It was that, but it was the camp experience, right? Me and you grew up in church, and so we had all these, like, so many group, now a lot of ’em were very emotionally manipulative, but setting that aside for a second, there was these very pivotal experiences, like going on a mission trip or going to camp, where you just had these things where, the way I’ve described it is so much life stuffed into this one week or this two weeks that then has this really outsized impression in your memory as you end up growing up. Yeah, community-based experiences. And, you know, we just don’t have that because we’re not a part of that kind of community anymore. And I miss that aspect of church, right, and the youth group things that kids can experience. Now, there’s like team sports and that kind of thing, but he doesn’t really do team sports, right? He’s into music and individual things. He’s on his Onewheel all the time, et cetera. Yeah, so the water camp could be it. Well, and as you know, when he got down there, and there was, you know, kudos to Shepherd for going down there by himself, not knowing anyone, not taking a friend. And also like, you know, it’s across the country. I mean, Jesse did go out there with him, initially. He flew back by himself. But I was like, “Shepherd can handle this,” ’cause he gets in and where he fits in and he’s kind of good at that. But a number of circumstances made the adjustment over the first few days very difficult. He was miserable. He was having a hard time. And I was like texting. And he had a cell phone. Yes, exactly. He had a lifeline to his parents, which is something that we never had when we got dropped off at camp. Long story short was he eventually adjusted and ended up having the best time of his life. He wants to go back next year. He was super enthusiastic, not just about the activities, but about the people and just the place. And he’s telling us about the specific experiences of when they did this around the campfire or whatever. And I’m like, as he’s saying this stuff, I’m like, “Yes, yes, yes.” Like, “I’m dad of the year, because it was my…” Well, it was actually, it was a fan’s idea, but then I took it and made it my idea and gave it to my son. And he’s experiencing these things and having, you know, the kinds of things that are meaningful. And thanks to you for getting us into scuba diving to begin with. Okay, you’re doling out credit. I love it. So, but, well, I’m about to throw you under the bus a little bit because when he started telling me about all that, and I was like, “Yeah, you know, I love that you got to experience that.” It’s so, like, I feel… I know the me as a kid that got those kinds of experiences and just loved every second of it. And I was like, “My only camp experience was one week at Camp Caraway.” And, of course, I wasn’t gonna go by myself, because that just wasn’t something that any of us did back then. I went with Link, and Link hated it, and did not take a shit the whole week. Nope. And we never went back because he hated it. And I’ve always held it against you a little bit, that you kinda ruined camp for me, because it was like, I had such a good time. Like, do you remember? I protected you. Do you remember those camp counselors? Like that first night there was that big bonfire, and they like came outta the woods and stuff. Like I just love that kind of stuff. And then there’s like, they’re singing. Yeah, we’re all singing about Jesus, but we’re singing together, and like you just didn’t like it. You hated the whole thing? Every bit of it? I was constipated. Oh, it was… Okay, so it was affecting your brain. I didn’t like swimming. You didn’t like the bunks, you didn’t like the fast showers, but like, the way I thought about it was like… You had to shower and other people could see you. It was called the 60-second shower. And you could poop and other people could see you, I think. Yeah, but that’s all part of it, man. It makes the memories. Then there were the flashlight wars. It was just like, it was at night Oh yes! And it was dark and scary. And people were shining flashlights in my face and pursuing me. It was basically like, I don’t know. I needed a backup friend for these things, you know? I’m sorry, man. I needed somebody who was willing to go do those things. I wish I would’ve been more open to it. But anyway, Shepherd didn’t even need a friend. And I actually think the fact that he went without having a friend, and he said this, it’s funny, like the wise things that he was saying on the trip back as we were driving him home from the airport. He was like, “I’m actually glad I didn’t go with a friend, because if I had have gone with a friend, I would not have connected with the other campers as much.” And I’m like, “Wow, this is awesome.” Lincoln was about his age, actually, he was a little bit older, because it was late when we finally talked him into going to camp. He did go with a friend. They had an awesome time. And then it was… The timing didn’t work out for him to go back the next year. I can’t remember exactly why. I think it’s ’cause the next year we went on tour and he came with us, which was a great experience. But he really wanted to go back, and then he aged out of it. And I was like, “Oh, he started too late.” And now Lando at 13, he’s more like me, you know? It’s like he’s got a lot of anxieties associated with that type of thing. We put him in a tennis camp that’s just a day camp. And he was like, he made the decision. He’s like, “I think I’ll like tennis. I want to get into that.” And it was a great experience, so much so that he signed up for a second week, that he did. Oh, that’s a big win. But it was just a day camp, so you don’t really have the best parts of a sleepaway camp. What if you turned it into a sleepaway camp? What if you set up a little tent for him next to the tennis camp? You stay there, buddy. Nobody else is doing this, A solo camping sleepaway. but we’ll give you water and some of those meals you could warm up with boiling water. I’d love to get him… Maybe next year be able to do that. 14. Well, I mean, the thing I love about this is that this camp you can go up until your senior year. Like so he can go all through high school, and then there’s people that come back and are counselors. Who knows, you know, maybe he’ll cool off. Such a big turn from like you were telling us about those first two days. Oh God. And how bad of a time he was having. And then he’s like, “I wanna go back forever.” And I was telling him… It’s classic. It was funny ’cause I was like, “Shepherd,” and kids don’t listen. But I was like, “This is a story as old as time, showing up at summer camp and being miserable the first couple of days.” You’re adjusting to so many things, not to mention the fact that it was the low, the minimum temperature was 83 degrees at night and they didn’t have AC. So just, you know, this is hot. This is on the East Coast. And, but yeah, but then when you get through it, and this is the thing I really loved for him, was this like getting that life experience that is like, things that are worth it almost always are kind of difficult at the beginning. And if you just like, “Hey, come get me,” and you go home. But you gotta poop early. I don’t think, he didn’t talk about not pooping, so I think he pooped fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if I could go back in time, if I had the ability to go back in time, people say this a lot of times. If you could go back in time and influence any one thing, at least right now, it would be going back and just handing, Not going camping with me. like, 12-year-old Link an enema. Like, you know. Oh, so I was still invited. Like a weird grizzly man comes out of the woods at camp, and he’s like, “Here, kid, put this in your ass.” “Bend over.” “I’m a time traveler. Trust me.” And it’s you And it’s me, but you wouldn’t know. in a bear costume, No, I’m not in a costume. giving me an enema. I’m in futuristic clothes. I don’t give it. Hell no, I don’t give it. Oh, I don’t administer it. I hand… Future you administering, squeezing… No, no, no. Don’t put my me you look bad. the juices into my… I’m just an adult man who is handing an enema to a kid who will then do what he will with it. I’ll give him instructions as well. I probably gotta meet me, as well, and be like, “Make sure he does this,” you know? ‘Cause if I gave it to, you’d be like, “I’m gonna throw this in the trash.” But if I’m like, “Hey, tall, skinny guy, come over here. I’m you from the future. Make your friend do this. Don’t do it to him. Just make sure he does.” It sounds like you’re trying to get your past self to give me an enema. No, I’m not interested. My only interest is you enjoying camp. I know. If you took a shit in the first day or two at camp, our whole lives would be different. Who knows where we’d be. I’m still that way. I’m still that way. If I go on a trip, now I gotta make it happen the first day. And then after that, it’s okay. It’s like I’ve told my body, “You don’t have to conserve anything here. You don’t have to hold it all back.” Right. We’re fine. I think this is common. You’re fine down there. This is why I take preemptive fiber, like 48 hours before travel, hit the psyllium husk. Hit hard. Hit it. Yeah. And I travel with the enemas. I’m saying… As a back up. If you do preemptive fiber, you may not need an enema. I know, I know. It always comes to this. I don’t know how we get there every time. It’s just a part of life, I guess. I do believe in camps. I want to give a quick promotion. Go over to the Mythical Kitchen channel. Post Malone had a Last Meal with Josh. He didn’t die, but if he were to be dying and this is what he wanted to eat, Josh made him his like favorite stuff. Also, Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias, if you’re a fan, did a Last Meals. It was awesome. Check out all the Last Meals. Hey, best food show on the internet. Listen, I mean… Very proud of what they’re doing. We’re obviously big fans of Hot Ones and big fans of Sean over at Hot Ones and friends and been on the show, and will unabashedly say that we would love to have a food interview show that was successful as Hot Ones, but I just absolutely love the fact that Fluffy, Gabriel, literally said while he was filming, he was like, “This is like Hot Ones, but fun,” because he wasn’t being tortured. He was being given exactly what he wanted to eat. I just love that show, man. Tom Hanks, check it out. “Ear Biscuits” is supported by Chime. It’s summertime. People are going on vacation, splurging a little, so it’s the perfect time to start building your credit. With the Secured Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card, a better way to build your credit, you can build your credit score safely with everyday purchases and on-time payments. Plus there’s no annual fee, interest, or credit check to get started, and you can build credit using your own money. 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On-time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. “Ear Biscuits” is supported by Rosetta Stone. Now, you know, I learned French in high school. It took a handful of years. Didn’t use Rosetta Stone. I kinda wish I would have. I took three years. No offense to Ms. Slaughter. I took three years, She’s my favorite teacher. and learned less than you did. I think I slept more in class. But if you’re looking to learn a new language now, Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app, and it truly immerses you in the language you wanna learn. I would love to brush up on my French from high school, so when I do go to France, which I would would hope to go back to France, I can connect, I can speak the language, or at least raise some eyebrows when I try to put my best foot forward, you know? Yeah. Order a croissant? Je mange le croissant. Croissant. Croissant? Croissant? Rosetta Stone has used trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users and offers over 25 languages like French, Spanish, Dutch, Arabic, Korean, just to name a few. And it works for fast language acquisition. as it has no English translation, so you really learn to speak, listen, and think in that language. Rosetta Stone even has built-in true accent features that give you feedback on your pronunciation, like a personal trainer for your voice. It’s really an amazing value. Lifetime membership has all 25 languages for any and all trips and language needs in life. A $299 program, but with our code, you can get it for just $149. Don’t put off learning that language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. For a limited time, you can get Rosetta Stone’s lifetime membership for 50% off. That’s $149 for unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/ear today. We visited Lily. Lily moved into a new house, and so she wanted us to come up there and see her living situation. We all went, both boys, to visit her, and it’s this cool like farmhouse with like, I don’t know, five of her friends kind of out in the middle of nowhere. It was kind of wild. That’s cool. But it was pretty cool. There were horses around there. Wild? There was a dog outside. “Oh, that’s an outside dog.” “Whose dog is it?” “Well, sometimes he walks into my bedroom,” Lily said. “I open my sliding glass door.” Whose dog is it? In comes a dog. Like a neighbor’s dog. But the horses are somebody’s. Oh yeah, they’re fenced. So, I mean, it was nice to see firsthand, you know, your daughter’s living situation, and just kind of, and to meet the friends and kinda get a vibe for it, So then whenever you’re talking to her, you can… Bless you. You can bless her with a little bit more inside information. Inside. You bring some stuff. My heart was warmed because she said, I was like, “What do you need us to bring?” And she was like, “I need you to bring my speakers and my record player and my records.” Wow. And I was like, “That I can do.” Because that was the thing that when she went off to college, that’s the thing that I bought. I was like, “I gotta make sure you’re set up with some speakers and your records and stuff.” And then when she went off to college, she didn’t end up taking it, and I was a little bit hurt. So it was nice that, like, she wanted that, ’cause that was like, that’s the thing that I felt like that I was contributing to her living situation. Right, right, right. And she may have been just doing it to make you feel good. She may give it to the horses. We don’t know. No, I could tell. We set it up in like the communal area where everybody’s like hanging out, like, “Oh, now we can have dance parties.” I was like, “Yeah, that’s right.” We stayed in an Airbnb nearby, and this place had something that I just haven’t seen in a while. At first glance I was like, “Okay, yeah, they have it.” But then I got closer, and I realized, “This is a newfangled version of this thing and I gotta give it a shot.” Air hockey? Nope. Any other guesses? Foosball. It is recreational. Okay, Airbnb. Pool table. What would be a newfangled pool table? Air hockey. They had a trampoline. Oh. Mm. Full size? Full size. No net? It had a net, but the net was different. And there was something else that was fundamentally different. There was a sign on it that says, “Guests, please do not use the trampoline.” Because it was an Airbnb, it did have a sign. And I think it’s like the boilerplate thing that they make the renters, the rental agreement, they like, it’s part of it for insurance purposes. They’re like, “Only jump for five minutes at a time.” “Only jump one person at a time.” That’s no fun. And, of course, “Take your shoes off, and you’re still liable for anything that goes wrong.” But don’t jump more than five minutes at a time? Really? Yeah. Why? Don’t jump with a friend. Really? The only way to get high is to jump with a friend. That’s the whole point. Right. You get that popcorn thing. I look down under this thing. Have you ever seen a spring-free trampoline? No. This thing was wild. It’s like, I mean, it did have… Here’s a picture of one right here. It does have a net around it, but then you see how there’s no springs. So the whole material is…? The thing that you jump on, it goes all the way to the edge, and it’s the normal jumping material, and instead of having springs around the edge that you don’t wanna like drop a foot through and they’re like putting… The whole thing pancakes? The whole thing is vertical and underneath, so it kind of looks like it’s a mattress. A big spring. The whole thing is one spring. These things that are like, they’re at a 45 degree angle from the top down to like another layer. And then they, so it smushes. It smushes kinda like a mattress. And so each of these things is like a, just like a plastic shaft, like a plastic tube at a 45 degree angle attached to the top and bottom rims. And it doesn’t… The bounce on this thing was very satisfying. So it was even more than normal? It was not… If you get a super high-end trampoline with springs, you can, I mean like an Olympic trampoline, you’re gonna bounce a lot higher than you can on this thing. But for like a normal run-of-the-mill trampoline that you would get for, you know, your pre-teens or whatever. You obviously see all the advantages that this design provides. It’s so much safer, but it’s… You don’t get the flying spring effect. Yeah. Yeah. Which we used to have to deal with. Did that ever happen? Like I know Ben was the one with the trampoline. Oh yeah. And he was on that thing all the time. And I was on it all the time. And I was on it some. Yeah, we had flying springs, and sometimes Rusty flying springs. it would break and it flies across. So most of the time it flies and gets caught, but sometimes it flies and we’d go into the woods. And even if there’s that blue padding over the springs, you’re still gonna hit that stuff. You’re gonna end up hitting it if you get too aggressive. But his didn’t have any of the padding. He just had the holes, and there was no netting around it. Oh, of course not. Living on the edge. No one had netting in ’92 on their thing, ’cause we would run, and the whole point was to be able to run from the ground and jump on it or then jump off of it onto the ground. This is actually better on the body. Like I could feel it when I got into this thing. It actually felt good. It was inviting. Well, it’s because, I mean, the whole thing is like giving. It’s not a sponsor, but turns out, as far as I can tell, there’s only one company that makes these, Springfree Trampoline. Well, it’s probably a patent. That’s what they’re called. Yeah, maybe it’s a patent. Did you get video footage of this? I mean, a middle-aged man gets on a trampoline, he’s gotta document this. I’m sorry to say that I did not get footage of me, because it didn’t dawn on me until… Here’s footage of Lando. I mean, doing a little popcorn. So it’s, I mean, from this vantage point, you really can’t tell that They’re pretty sturdy. it’s different than a normal trampoline. But I’m just glad to know that advances in technology are not leaving trampolines behind. Yeah, ’cause trampolines, eh, they were kinda on the fence for a while there. I know. They could have gone the way of the dodo. Because kids get hurt on them. But thanks to Springless, not a sponsor. Well, that actually is a great segue into the update I wanted to, the little story I wanted to tell you, and speaking of kids getting hurt. Okay. As you know, Shepherd is a big fan of the Onewheel, and that I felt like a good and bad dad in getting it. And again, this was something that you got for your kids first. Yeah. And I was… And now the only person who rides it is Shepherd. Well, me and Shepherd, and Locke, also, now that he’s home for the summer, will go out. In fact, this weekend we’ve got a whole like multi-day Onewheel… We’re staying on the West Side, ’cause Jesse’s got all this stuff happening at the house. Oh, that’s fun. And it’s just a Onewheel extravaganza. We’re gonna get lost. If you don’t know what a Onewheel is, this is an electric-powered wheel in the middle of a skateboard. So you put your feet on either side of the wheel, and then this thing goes, and it’s kind of like a Segway, kind of. It’s that Segway-type vibe. It’s a Segway meets a skateboard. Yeah, Segway meets a skateboard, and they will go fast. Lando broke his wrist falling off of his, and he’s not really been wanting to get on it again. Yeah. They’re dangerous. I mean, let’s just be straight up. They’re dangerous, and it’s… We met a guy on a plane. Well, we met a… who broke a collarbone. Well, we should shout him out, because he’s like a YouTuber. He works for Corridor Digital, but he’s also a professional… Is his name like Wren? That sounds right. Professional Onewheeler on the side. We will, if I can remember, I will say his name. Right now, I’m saying Wren, but I think that’s not quite right, so we’re going to overdub what his name actually is in those places that I just said it, unless it is that. Great guy, who, yeah, we talked to As far as we could tell. And yeah, he had broken his collarbone, and he has broken several other bones. It’s, of course, he’s going like 30 on the thing, but Shepherd is a demon on this thing. He is just relentless. And, you know, he wears a helmet most of the time. Sometimes I catch him without it, but… He’s gotta wear that helmet. But it’s funny ’cause what he does is he, you know, we’ve got three of them, and so me and Locke and Shepherd could all do it at the same time. Yeah, us too. What this means is that Shepherd is, he’s on it every single day. Every single day. If I get home, he’s not home, and I’m like, “Where are…?” Sometimes he’s like, “Dad, my battery died, and he’s like literally like seven miles from home. In fact… Is he using that as a form of transportation? Yes. Or just he goes joy rides? Well, yeah, I mean, A and B. It’s kind of one and the same. Like once you find yourself next to like the Starbucks, you know, five miles from your house, you’re like, it makes you feel independent as a 14-year-old. You can just… That’s good. Yeah. And it’s something that… It’s like the bike experience that we had. It’s what we had as kids, in that I was always like, I felt bad that we raised our kids in a city, essentially. Like we’re not really in a city, but, you know, we’re in the suburbs. But we were gone all the time. We talk about it all the time, about that independent spirit that you gain if you were a child of the eighties. Does he make friends with like the tire repairman? I like to think that he does. And like the cobbler? Time travelers from the future that are trying to hand him enemas? Yeah, that kind of thing. The Taco Tent people. But I’m a little, you know, I have this like, a little bit… I’m not very much of a worried dad. Like, you know, I don’t really have that gene. I’m mostly like, I just love the fact that he’s out there somewhere. I don’t know where he is at. Of course, I do. I could look on my phone and track him. It is 2023. But I just love the fact that he has these experiences. But the thing is, is that he’s got friends that come over, and, of course, he wants to put them on these things. And of course they want to get on ’em, too. And we do have like pads and stuff that we have available to them, and we make sure that all the friends wear a helmet, and I try to say, “Give all your friends full pads,” wrist guards, knee pads, elbow pads, because we live in a hilly environment and they’re getting on a Onewheel for the first time. I bet you this story ends with nobody receiving any injuries. And I think I told you that we’ve had a couple of incidents where, you know, one of his friends will just completely bust his ass and then have to seek first aid at our home. And then, well, you know, one time one of his friends busted his ass real hard, and they didn’t tell anybody, and then like his mom, like days later, like saw. I thought it wasn’t his ass, it was his arm, right? Well, when I say bust ass, I mean it’s a general term for falling down. But yes, it was his arm and his hip and his knee. It was all skin up. Again, things that happened to us all the time growing up. Like in a friend group in 1987, Eh, just get some Mercurochrome Merthiolate on that. There was always one friend who just was skin up real bad. Like everybody had one. “Who’s skin up this week?” But, and we didn’t wear helmets either, which was stupid. We got away with a lot. So we’ve had a couple of incidents where the mom will find out later, and then be like… We had one mom like text us pictures of the sores. “Look what you did to my son.” And she wasn’t mad. It was just more like, “Did you guys know about this?” More like it was kind of informative, and like, you know, kid’s still friends with Shepherd. It wasn’t a problem. But I was literally on the phone with our friend Mike, not Science Mike, but our friend Mike from North Carolina, two nights ago, and we haven’t talked in a while, so we’re catching up. He’s like, “How are the kids?” And I’m saying, “Well, you know, Shepherd, he had a great time at camp and he loves Onewheeling. In fact he’s Onewheeling right now, and, you know, I never know where he’s at. He’s just Onewheeling all over the place.” I told you he had put 600 miles on one of the Onewheels that he doesn’t even ride that much, just to give you a perspective here. The kid has basically crossed the country on this thing. So, which, you know, the longer you go, the more you increase the chances that you’re gonna bust your ass at some point. Oh yeah. But he hasn’t had too bad of a fall yet. But I’ll be like, “I don’t know where he is at, and every couple of weeks, you know, one of his friends falls on this thing and then we have to like…” I’m like telling Mike, and I’m kind of like, you know. And he’s like, “Yeah, man. It’s like us and skateboarding when we were kids,” you know? And, you know, reminiscing. And then I go into the house and I have my therapy, which I do online, and I’m in the middle of my therapy session, and Shepherd just runs upstairs, opens the door, and he’s like, “Dad,” I’m not gonna say his name, but he’s like, “My friend took a real bad fall on the Onewheel. You gotta help us.” Jesse’s outta town, okay, so the person who should be there that could actually do something like informed and do a good job with this is not present, so it’s just me. Yeah. And I’m in therapy, man. This is me time. Literally, currently. And so, and my therapist was like, “I get it, man.” You know, “Dad duty calls,” or whatever. And I was like, “Yep, gotta go.” But the, I mean, the way that he was delivering the news, you definitely felt like you had to get up and run down. Well, you know, I didn’t think I was gonna come in and see like a jaw hanging off by one side or anything like that. I didn’t think it was gonna be that bad. I just figured this was in skint up territory. And when I got to the kitchen, skint up territory was where we were at. Okay. You know? And it was, you know, it shakes you up. But he was able to… It happened like half a mile from home, and instead of calling me, they walked back. Like Shepherd like picked up his Onewheel and Onewheeled, and he walked. And like he’s sitting there and he’s pale as a sheet, and he’s pretty badly skint up, but like, it’s not like dirty, it doesn’t have… It’s just like road rash, basically, on his knee, his elbow, and his shoulder. Okay. Again, he had his helmet on, but he didn’t have any pads on. And so you could kind of tell he’s a little bit in shock, right? And I’m, if you didn’t know, I’m not the most comforting presence, right? That’s not, it’s just not my thing, you know? I got a lot of other gifts. That is one that whoever makes these decisions decided to leave out of the program. Okay. Yes, Rhett, you have other gifts. Yes, you can say that. And so my first thought was, “Okay, don’t laugh.” I mean, like, I just gotta be honest with you. Like that’s, Don’t laugh. that’s the first thing that comes to my mind. “Don’t laugh at this kid,” you know? I don’t know why. I’m sadistic. So I was like, he was panicking a little bit, and he was beginning to breathe kind of like labored. But you knew when you saw him, it wasn’t as big of a deal as he was thinking it was. No, he was shaken up. He was shaken up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn’t think he had like, broken his arm or anything. Well, you never know. I’m not an x-ray technician, but he seemed like it was just skint up. And so I was like… You didn’t ask him to move… You gotta move your fingers. If you can move your fingers, nothing above the fingers is broken is the… I’m sure that’s not correct, but that’s what I always thought. Hey, you can move your fingers, it’s not broken. That’s the first thing I would’ve said. Well, no. He was able to go like this. Okay, “Move your elbow.” And it was more like, It ain’t broken. he had like hit it hard, skint it, right? And so I was like, “Okay, I’m gonna get you cleaned up and bandaged up,” if I can find the things. You know, this is the McLaughlin house. This is like, it’s almost like a Walmart, like 18 months after the apocalypse. You know what I’m saying? Like, stuff has been kind of run through. We’re not well organized, and we may not have what you need, just to be honest with you. So I was like, “Call your mom, first of all, so she can be on her way, but I’m gonna get you cleaned up.” There was a moment where he, before I was able to clean him up, where he started breathing pretty hard, and then he was like, “I can’t see, I can’t hear, I can’t breathe.” Oh no. Panic attack. And Shepherd was… He’s about to faint. Was feeding into this. He was like, “Dad, something’s wrong.” I was like, “He’s just shaken up.” I took a washcloth. “I can’t see. I can’t, I can’t hear.” I took a washcloth, I wet it. “I’m in a tunnel.” And I just went up and I put it on, I gently put it on his forehead without laughing. Okay, good. And five seconds later he was like, “I’m coming back.” I’m coming back. So yeah, he was about to faint. You didn’t tell him to put his head between his knees. I didn’t think of that, because… You gotta, Washcloth. You should tell him that. Washcloth did it. Put the head between the knees. I got him back. Yeah, he came back. Don’t critique me, ’cause I’m the hero of this story, by the way. I’m just saying next time the head needs to go down, because he’s gonna, if he did faint… He was sitting down. If he did faint, the head is still gonna hit something. Well, I mean, Shepherd was holding him. Shepherd was cradling him? He was spotting him. “It’s okay buddy. What do you want me to tell your family?” He was panicking. So he came back, and then, you know, he came fully to. “I’m sorry.” We tried to get some peanut butter in him, but he didn’t want that. ‘Cause Shepherd’s like, “You’ve only eaten a bowl of cereal to hold the whole day,” and it was like 7:00 PM. So, peanut butter has sugar in it, but, I mean, maybe a juice. Yeah, well, Next time. I was just thinking about, “I’m gonna get this kid bandaged up and get his mom here.” I mean, I’ll be honest with you. Like, I was like, I kind of wanna offload… Pass this guy off before I burst out into laughter. I wanna offload this kid on the responsible party. But I felt bad, because, again, the Onewheel’s at are our house. Don’t get me wrong. I’m giving you this advice, but I would’ve been the one fainting. But so far I haven’t done anything wrong. Well, I’ve pointed out a couple things. The washcloth saved the day, okay? And then I cleaned him up, you know, and I didn’t, you know, they were like, “Where’s the hydrogen peroxide?” And I was like, “Guys, you’re not supposed to put hydrogen peroxide on wounds.” That’s a myth. It’s actually, it causes them to not heal as quickly, because… Just look it up. Look it up on the internet. It’s not good to put on wounds. And you don’t wanna put alcohol. What you wanna do is you want to just clean it with soap and water. You want to clean… You know, if they’re like open wounds or whatever, you wanna go to the hospital or the emergency room, but if it’s just you’re skint up… I heard some ticky ticky tacky over there. Yeah, you just clean it with open water. No. What does peroxide do? It just makes it…? It damages the tissue. It harms the tissue and delays the healing. It harms the tissue and delays the healing. There are things you could put on there, like Neosporin or whatever. Now you can click away. You’ve learned something. But like, I was like, “I’m gonna let the mom deal with like dressing these with like the proper like antibiotic or whatever choice that she wants to make.” I’m a soap and water guy, gently clean. And then I found liken the big pads and I taped them on and then I gauzed over that. Like I, you know, so they’ll stay in place. I like, I mean I was like, and the whole time I was like, “You’re doing a great job, Rhett,” you know? I was like, ’cause I just don’t, this is not my thing. I haven’t come to the rescue of many people, you know? And so, but then I was like, “When’s your mom gonna get here?” That’s what I was thinking. You didn’t lose him. You didn’t lose him. Victory. He sits down, and he’s like, he seems to be fine. And he’s also saying like, “Thank you.” He was very grateful, this kid. Very nice manners. You could have been a nurse. And so then I kind of forgot about it. I didn’t talk to Jesse. Like, Jesse’s so busy with work. She was outta town doing something, and like, I didn’t talk to her for like two days. I did call her, but she’d never answered. Okay. She finally texted me, “Sorry, I’m crazy,” which meant, “I’m busy.” But then she calls me the next day when I’m here at work, and she’s like, “Did so-and-so take a bad fall on the Onewheel?” I was like, “Yeah. I tried to call you last night and tell you all about it.” And she said, “Well, his mom said, ‘Tell your husband thank you for taking such good care of my son.’” What? “He was very, very caring.” You’re surprised by this. And I was like, “Well, yeah, I didn’t laugh at him.” I did not laugh at the kid, and I bandaged him up. And I believe that I was… And I kept telling him… He’s gonna be talking about you for years. I kept telling him, I was like, “Wouldn’t be here today.” “You’re gonna be okay.” “You’re fine. Here.” Cold cloth. “I’m back.” All of it. Yeah. You know, now, if something had’ve been really messed up, if he had a broken something, I’m not saying I would… I think mostly this is just due to the fact that he really wasn’t that hurt. I don’t If he was really hurt, know what I would’ve done. I might’ve unraveled, you know? If there was skin hanging off or something like that. If bone is showing, mm mm mm. Don’t call me. I would’ve taken him to the emergency room, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t be like, “Hey, your mom’s gonna have to take you to the emergency room in a little bit when she gets here.” I’ve been having this like catastrophic fantasy when I’ve been walking the dogs. Fantasy? Well, it’s just, I picture it in my head. It’s like, it’s more of a waking nightmare. Because I have to walk on the street at a certain point where there’s no sidewalk, and I have to round a corner and there’s a couple of treacherous places, and so I try to be really aware of keeping the leashes short on the dogs, because they, especially Jade, doesn’t like to walk on the side of the road because it’s really uneven. She wants to walk on the even pavement, which puts her in the street. And so I look behind me to see if any cars are coming. I can see a long way, and sometimes I would… We can get up the hill a lot easier if I let her do that. But I do have this thought of somebody whipping around a corner or something and hitting my dog, and I’ve just played it out in my head that… It’d be pretty quick. I would immediately scoop up my dog, get in the car with the person, and insist that… And, well, first of all I would be very angry, and I would be… “What are you thinking?” Yeah, I would be yelling and saying, “You need to take my dog that you’ve hit to the vet, to the emergency vet right now. We’re going.” Okay. Yeah. Does this seem like a good plan? Because this is exactly what I’m, now, I’ve visualized it so many times. I just wanna be ready for it, you know? And I’ve taken off my shirt, and I’ve like wrapped it around the wound or whatever, if a leg is broken or something. So you’re shirtless in this story. I’m shirtless, I’m yelling, I’m riding. I’ve made the… Because people drive too fast. How far are you from home? I think there’s a rule of thumb here. A mile or less. Well… But this is precious time. I feel like there needs to be a minimum distance. This is precious time. If you’re, I think… I kind of wanna punish the person by having them be the one to take me all the way there and get some blood in their car, you know? Like they’re driving too fast. How bad is the dog off. Broken leg. There is bleeding. I’ve stopped it with my shirt, and I’m not doing well at all. First of all. And if Christy’s not home, this would be a very traumatic, why would I go home? very traumatic day for this person. Well, what about me and the dogs? Well, not only does this person have to deal with the fact This is my worst nightmare. that they hit a dog, right? They have to deal with the fact that the owner of said dog is getting them to take it to the vet, and the owner of the dog happens to be you. Like, this is not a good day for that person. I definitely need to get them to gimme a ride Empathizing with them. to my house, right? Because I definitely have to get in the car with ’em, right? Yeah, and I, honestly, I think that most people might volunteer that. Okay, good. Even if I’m yelling at them. I mean, this this has had to have happened I know multiple times. that I’m being a downer. I think it’s most likely I didn’t participate at camp. people will take you to your home, and then you would take the dog to the emergency room. I think that’s probably what would happened. But then my kids are involved and they’re traumatized. And if Christy’s not home, this person’s taking me all the way. Let me just. Can I…? Because I need to be Googling which one’s the closest. Here’s the thing. Which I kind of know. I think the biggest, sort of the starting point of the story, of this scenario, is where you’re getting off track. Okay, I know, you’re gonna say that I let Jade walk in the street. No, no, no, no. And that’s a good point. No, I’m not saying that. I keep her really close. I’m not saying that. Just right on the edge. It is almost impossible for the scenario that you’re envisioning to happen. People don’t hit dogs that are being walked. Yes, it has happened. Highly unlikely. They get closer than I’m… I can’t get further over. Dogs who get hit by cars are dogs that are off leash, that are crossing the street, you know? I’ve had two dogs die as you as you have told the story. It’s in “The Book of Mythicality.” And one of ’em was jumped a fence and crossed the road and got hit, and the other one was mysteriously poisoned. It’s traumatic, man. Yeah, it’s traumatic. But if I drop the leash… I just think it’s… You’re not gonna drop the leash. What are you…? Well, there’s also the retractable leash, and it goes out really far, and only Jasper’s on that one. You said that you were keeping it close. And I do keep it close. But then what if… You have nothing to worry about. But there’s just one little button, that if the button gets hit, and he sees a squirrel across the street, I mean, it could happen. I think about this stuff to decrease the chances of it happening. I don’t think, I just don’t think it’s a legitimate worry. I think you need to not worry about it. I know it sounds a little OCD at this point, but… It does. I just, I don’t think you should worry about it. I don’t think this is gonna happen. But if it does happen, But a couple weeks ago, you gotta be 300 yards or more away from the house. you were telling me I need to be thinking about, I need to be thinking about the consequences of my actions more. And here I am doing that. So it’s like, you can’t have it both ways. Well done. Well done, Link. Right? Yeah, well, I don’t think that this is this is… Actually, this is misplaced concern. You know, when you were driving Greg around nearly falling off the edge of a mountain, like maybe slowing down around the blind turns, that would’ve been wise, but this is different. All right, so then I’ll change subjects. But this reminds me, I went go-karting. Me and Lincoln and a couple other friends, like five of us went go-karting. And these are electric go-karts, indoor go-kart racing warehouse scenario. We’ve done it like years ago. I think I’ve done it twice in my life. I did it more, I did it pretty recently, too, with my family that was in town. And they had expanded the track, and so it went through a whole new area and the whole thing was different. I swear that the cars used to not be electric, but maybe I’m thinking about that place outside of Dunn. Remember when that place outside of Dunn, the fun center opened up? Yeah. And they had outdoor go-karts, and they had like those like things in the pool, like bumper cars in the pool. And I was like, “What?” I never, I only went like one time. I only went once. I was like, “How on earth does anybody think, in the middle of nowhere, this is a good idea?” Well, it’s Dunn, man. I mean, people got… It’s the crack capital of the world. Yeah, it is. The thing about go-karting is that, first of all, it is fun, but it is exhausting. And at our age there’s this constant awareness that something could go wrong to my body. Don’t wanna get hurt. I know. I don’t want to get hurt. That’s all I’m thinking the whole time. Like, I was like, “I’m gonna buy two races, but I’m not gonna buy a third race, ’cause I feel like third race is when, Pushing your luck. what does me in. But you get on these things, and there was five of us, and then in a heat there’s probably 10 or 12 people, so there’s strangers that you’re racing against. And this creates an interesting dynamic at top speeds of, they’ll go 45 miles an hour. They feel crazy fast. They feel crazy fast. And some of ’em are harder to steer than others, but they all take a good amount of work to like really hold in the turns. This is like an aggressive experience. I really liked it. It’s a little pricey. But the thing that I noticed was that there’s people who just aren’t as aggressive. And they ruin it for everybody. as I am. And that starts out fun, because like, you finally come up behind these people. and you’re like, you’re trying to get around them, and the turns are really tight and there’s a bunch of ’em, so it’s not like you’re just going 45 the whole time. You really gotta, you gotta slow down, you gotta bank the… You gotta really time your turns and be strategic about it to get around these slow people. And they don’t allow bumping or sideswiping, It still happens or any of that. But it still happens, and when it happens, you’re as close to this stranger who you’re sideswiping as you and I are right now. And so the look that’s exchanged, that’s a… I didn’t anticipate how precarious of a moment that is, when it’s like, I could reach out, they could reach out and grab my wrist, pull me close, and say, “Don’t you ever do that again.” They probably won’t. But I definitely got some of those looks. Now, I think differently about this. Just so you know, I think differently about go-karts than I do the UTV situation. So you’re full bore? Let ’em have it? Last time we went as a group and you and I were there, I got the fastest time. Do you not recall this? Of course not. Because it’s not about the fastest time, it’s about the most fun. Yeah, but you’re talking about how aggressive you’re going. I’m saying that like, it… I was slowing down so that people could catch up so that I could be racing with people. Like, I go That’s the fun part. as balls to the wall as possible. To win, ’cause they do text you your results. It’s fun. Oh yeah. They put it on the board. But it’s so safe. It feels so safe to me. Like, if you go off the track, it’s just more warehouse. You know what I’m saying? But what about the part where you’re like locking eyes with a complete stranger that thinks you’re an asshole? That made me uncomfortable. Well, I haven’t… I’ve been to the place that you’re talking about, and every time I’ve been, everyone on the track at the same time was somebody I went with. That’s when it’s fun. That’s the thing that I hadn’t experienced. It was my family, and then extended family. The stranger danger. And then it was some Mythical folks, and then that time it was us and our friend group. So, and you bump your friends and your family, like, that’s part of it. Oh yeah. Until you get a warning, and then you get the second warning. Well, I thought that I was bumping a friend, Stranger, I don’t think… until we locked eyes, and that’s what was so like jolting about it, was, “Oh, this is a complete stranger.” Like what’s the conversation gonna be like when we all get out of our cars, take off our helmets, and are walking back to the snack bar? Like, that’s when I like start… I just feel like it’s… I kind of got a little speed I just feel like… to get outta there. It’s expected. It’s part of it, ’cause… I could tell by the way they were driving and looking at me, they weren’t expecting it. Well, the bumping part is because you’re trying to find the gap to pass them. You’re waiting for them to go too wide into a turn, and then you then you go inside them. And then like you’re gonna bump a little bit, and you might sideswipe somebody. But I think that’s all fair game. I feel differently about that. That doesn’t feel like a safety issue, that feels like a social issue. Oh yeah. I think you have to try- I’m talking about the social part. really hard to hurt yourself in one of those. What you’d have to do, is you’d have to be… You have to hit somebody really hard, like somebody stationary, and you hit them. That’s a no no. You can hurt them real bad, more so than you’ll hurt yourself in the process. But then I kind of wanna work there, because… You can’t flip those things. Have this… I don’t think so. They have this power to just like remotely turn off all of the carts. You wanna work there to do this? Really slow ’em down. Yeah, right. The final lap. And so if something goes wrong, they bring everybody down, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And you gotta wait for ’em to bring you back up. But then the moment they bring you back up, and you don’t know when it is, you’re like slowly going behind somebody, and then all of a sudden and you’re just, you’re taking off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s fun, man. I like that. So I’d like to be on that lever. So. And I’m gonna incorporate springless trampolines. It’s so funny that you’re like, it’s not that I wanna come back and do this by myself, or I want do this just completely unhindered. I wanna be the guy who controls all the karts and slows everybody down. Speeds ’em up. Holds up the signs. “No bumping.” “No sideswiping.” Well, you were a ride operator for a summer in Santa Cruz, and you hated every moment of it. Yeah, it actually sucked. Yeah. So… So maybe not, maybe not. Maybe I’ll be a driver. But see, I’m getting a lot of recreation under my belt, between that newfangled trampoline, the newfangled karts. It’s quite impressive. I’m on the cutting edge It’s quite impressive. of high speed and jumping recreation I don’t think I would do a trampoline. I can almost promise you that that would be a bad idea for me and my back. The back compression? This is better on your joints. Yeah? This is the one to use. Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know. I just don’t know if I can risk it. I don’t think you can risk it, but only five minutes at a time. Well, you know what? I’ve enjoyed catching up. I’ve enjoyed catching up. I’ve got more things, but, I mean, we can save that. Yeah, sure. Yeah, well, I mean, we’ve been talking for an hour. That’s enough for anybody to talk. It’s my rec this week. I made a new playlist. I’ll plug it, just to remind you, sometimes I make playlists. It was last Saturday. I was like, “You know what? I need a new like poolside pool party playlist.” So I made one, “Pool Party 2023.” It’s available That’s timely. on my Spotify. I think we might have three hours of some nice, energetic… What’s the vibe? What am I eating? You’re swimming. Oh, swimming. You got a cold beverage. Am I swimming or am I floating? Your ass is floating in a tube, and you got a cold beverage, but then you’re also swimming and maybe doing some underwater jiu-jitsu at certain points. What’s the tenor of the conversation? It’s like, “Hey, man, gimme a hot dog.” Okay. All right, got it. “Throw me a cold one.” “Pool Party 2023” Yeah. People are hanging out over somebody’s got, you know, “Check out those cutoff shorts.” You shouldn’t eat a hot dog in the pool, though. No, not in the pool. Not on a raft. You should not be… I’m getting out of the pool. You should not be reclined when eating a hot dog. Number one choking hazard. The easiest way I can tell you to get to my Spotify playlist is by going to my Instagram profile, and then it says “My Spotify playlists,” and when you click on that, you can open Spotify, and then you can search for “Pool Party 2023.” Well, that’s fair enough. It was fun. I tried it that morning, and then we had an impromptu pool party that afternoon, ’cause Lily happened to be home, and it was hotter than the bowels out there. Yeah, boy. And I was like, “Hey, let’s do a pool party. I can try out my playlist.” Which gave me the confidence to make it public. I think it works. It’s a previewed and fully experienced playlist. Yeah, there you go. It’s pool tested. All right, thanks for spending this time with us. Remember that you can give your feedback, your insights, and also give us your questions by calling us at 1-888-EARPOD1 Was I supposed to say the 1-888 part? Because I… You have traditionally said it, but, I mean, it’s, you know, you can change things up. Your dog can walk on the other side of the road, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just use #EARBISCUITS Hi, Rhett and Link. I just finished listening to your toxic traits draft episode, and I just wanna let you know, for basically the entire episode, I thought whenever you were talking about inflexibility, you meant whether or not you could touch your toes, that type of flexibility. I was so confused the entire time, because I was like, “How is this a toxic trait? I don’t get it.” And then Rhett chose it and gave the definition, and everything instantly clicked. Anyway, love you guys. Stay flexy. To watch more “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits,” click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.