Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at the round table of Dim Lighting, we are going to investigate a novel wherein we have been mentioned. Yep. We are also going to conduct a thorough investigation into Jenna’s interactions with Joe Jonas in the mythical restroom. Um-huh, and the part that I– Oh, you’re laughing it off, huh? Played in that. I, it, I don’t know. You’re representing us when you interact with. Uh, you know, a high profile guest that’s coming through here, Jenna. So, uh, this is an official investigation into, into you, your actions. Perfect. Love that. And more. Where, where do you wanna start? ’cause I do see that we have a book here, and I assume this is the book. This is the book. And, uh, it has been marked. Because I heard about this, but we wanted to wait until we had the physical copy. Jamie and I both read it. Okay. Yes. It’s, it’s very good. We love it. Mm-hmm. It’s, it’s great. It’s a good book. We’re not, we’re not gonna do that yet. Yeah. We’re teasing that. We’re in a book, a book that is romantic. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Alright. Apparently at four different places. But I wanna hear about this. I, because I played a role in this Joe Jonas situation, and I feel like I’ve been, I’m being blamed for something. I’ve only heard bits and pieces, so I did, I’m disconcerned. I did immediately come in hot and blame you. Well, start to tell from your perspective. All right. So we were filming that day and when certain celebrities and guests come, one of our, uh, like the all gender restrooms, they’re just restroom stalls that we have. Like they’re individual stalls. They’re individual rooms. They’re individual rooms. Well just, just a toilet. Just a toilet and a sink. Toilet and a sink. You know, that you can lock yourself into just a regular restroom you can lock yourself into. So a half bath? We might call it a half bath. It is a half bath. Yeah. I never called it that, but yeah. If you need me, where’s Rhett? He’s in the half bath. Yeah. So we have two half baths. That don’t make a whole. Yeah. And whenever celebrities come, we put like a little sign on one of the doors that says it’s the talent restroom. So they, they never have to wait. And, and there’s always a restroom available and it, and when it’s clean and it’s clean, yeah. It’s, and it smells good. And it smells good. Just as a way that like, there’s always a spot. Yeah. Um, so I need to go to the restroom and I went into the one not labeled talent and did my business. That was good. That was good. That was good. I followed the rules and then, um, there was like a knock at the door and I was like, just a second as I was like finishing up washing my hands and stuff and, okay. So yeah, I did. Number two, but I sprayed poopy. And then as I am washing my hands, I had a lingering fart and I let out a lingering fart. Oh my God. It’s a bathroom. Oh my God. It’s a bathroom. This is what you do in a bathroom. Yep. I’m just a girl. I especially have that who farts sometimes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So didn’t know that happened. I did my business, some of them do. Some girls fart. I did my business and I opened the door and it was Joe Jonas looking right at me. He’s a handsome man. Is he? Not he. He was a handsome man. Yeah. And I just go, oh. And he goes, Hey. And I was like, ha. And then I walked away. He was like, why is he standing outside the bathroom when the talent one is there? Mm-hmm. I turn and look, someone is in the talent restroom and Joe Jonas walks in to my fart field restroom, my fart field restroom. Joe Jonas is the only talent that’s there. He wasted right in to my fights. Did you see a look on his face as he walked in? Did he make it? I was, he like, oh, as I, I did not turn around to look. I say I did not turn around to look waited because I was like, no, he’s going into buy restroom. Okay, wait until he comes. Like, guys, I have some follow up questions. So then I was like, who is the jerk that is in the talent restroom right now? Can I tell this from my perspective? Yeah, absolutely jealous at this point. Yes. So, uh, I, uh, needed to pee and I went to the two half baths and there was the one I knocked on the door that didn’t have talent on it. And someone said In here or in Yes or something. I think that was Jenna. And then I saw another one and it said Talent. And I looked at myself and I said, I’m talented. Oh God. And uh, I mean if I’m not, if I’m not considered talent around here, who, who is right? Joe Jones. And so, um, I also did not, uh, here’s the thing. You may not have an appreciation for how little Lincoln I know about what’s going on here. Right. So, um, we, we kind of keep to ourselves and we had the things that we do. I didn’t know Joe Jonas was gonna be in the, the building. We did not. Joe Jonas was, no. Joe Joda was gonna be because he was, I mean, spoiler alert, he’s an upcoming guest on last Meals. Yes. Not on Good mythical morning. Yeah. So don’t get your hopes up. We never met him. Didn’t get to meet him. So we have there, in fact, there’s, I did, there’s somebody here today. I’m not gonna say that. I’m not gonna spoil multiple at last Meals guest that I’d like to meet. And sometimes we do. Sometimes we do, but, but usually, but we don’t change our schedules in order to meet someone, but they don’t put the talent sign on the bathroom unless somebody besides me or you is here. Correct. Uh, and I do know that, but I will say that I have still used that restroom because I’m also, I’m clean and I’m tired. Here’s what I wouldn’t do. I’m clean talent. Here’s what I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t take a sh-t in the talent restroom on a talent day. Yeah. I wouldn’t do that. Right. But I was like a little tinkle, a little sprinkle, and I’m in and out and I’m out, you know? So I came out of the talent restroom. It was quite a talented urination that I did. Uh, and I made sure that there was no splatter or anything. I didn’t sit down to pee, which is a great way to assure that because I didn’t want to, you know, like soil, the talent seat. I dunno who it could be. You know, just like get a stray butt hair on it or something. Oh God. So I, so I got up. I mean, I got out and I open the door and I see a whole posse. You know, I see like other people that I don’t recognize who don’t work for us. I’m like, oh, this must be the people for the person who’s here, who should be in here, that’s not me. And, and, and, and I’m like, why are they standing outside this bathroom? Oh, he must have had to go into the other bathroom. Or he must be about to go into the other bathroom. That’s my perspective. And then I ran into Jenna shortly thereafter by run in, I mean, I was like hanging back, waiting to see who would come out of the talent restroom. Yeah. Because I was like, whoever this is. Yeah, it was, has really messed up. Your mojo has really just fully, I just fully mess up my mojo. And this, whoever that is, is the reason you farted on Joe Jonas? Yeah. I basically farted on Joe Jonas. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it’s still in there probably at the time. Oh, it was 100% still in there. Yeah, at the time. So then, and then, so you see it’s Rhett. I see. It’s Rhett. And I see him go back into wardrobes. I’m like, R Yeah. How could you, how could you, and you’re like, what? Its bad timing. I. And then I told you that whole story in wardrobe. I was like, I swear, hundred percent parted. Listen, here’s what I gotta say. I apologize. Um, I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have taken that chance. I put you in a really awkward situation. But here’s the thing. Okay. I apologize. But, uh, just, I, I, you know, I’ve never met Joe. I didn’t meet him the other day. He seems like a delightful guy. Um, and I think, you know, I. Celebrities who have things that have red carpets rolled out for them wherever they go, and talent things put on doors before they go into them. Every once in a while, they need a little taste of humanity or maybe a little smell of humanity. Just every once in a while, they need to be reminded that they’re a person too. And so I feel like we did a little favor not, I’m not saying that we needed to bring him down from his, he’s not on a high horse. He seems like a humble guy as far as I can tell. But so what I’m just saying is that he probably even appreciated it. I bet you when Joe Jonas walked into that bathroom and smelled whatever you had just done. Yeah. He was like, you know what? Real people, I needed that. I needed that. That’s what I needed today. I actually heard that he kept getting choked up on last meal. Yeah. Now we know why. It was like, yeah. Jenna. You have this bragging right to take into the rest of your life. That’s right. That something that was inside of you Okay. Was then inside Joe Jones. Well, okay. Okay. Don’t get too excited about that because that’s true of everybody. Anything that’s been inside anyone has also been inside everyone air. Okay. So, but not, maybe not as immediate as it was with Jim, but something that you created and released into the world was consumed in part by Joe Jonas. Yeah. Mm-hmm. How about that? Is, is this better than the fart sculptures? I don’t think so, but. It is, it It is pretty good though. It’s a close second. It’s your version of it. My version. It’s a close second. It’s a really close second. Thank you, Joe for being here. Um, yeah. Poopie was not gonna save you there. Thank you. Yeah. It wasn’t gonna save me. Yeah. Thank you Joe. And you’re welcome. But you did spray the poopourri in the bowl. Of course I did beforehand. That is what you’re supposed to do. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Yes. But then I’m not an animal. But then when you, you also sprayed it in the room. I did not spray it in the room. Well, well, you didn’t know Joe if you’d have done it wrong. Ironically. It might would’ve felt, it would’ve been okay. I’d do both. Yeah. In and over. I spray it on the water and then I spray it in the air. I spray it right at face level for the average height person right when they walk in, right before I leave, just like right there. So they’ll walk into a cloud of ery. When you were in the talent restroom, it seems to me that Mr. Jonas should have knocked. Upon your door first. Somebody, uh, well, yeah, somebody did. It was Joe Jonas. Yeah. And what’d you say? Yep, that’s what I said. I mean, he was like, oh, who else is here? The que here’s the thing. Me, the question that that’s being asked with a knock is someone in there and the answer. Yep, yep. I don’t need to be someone’s in here. I mean, you, you know that. Yep. Really any sign of life is appropriate. Anything. You could do anything when somebody knocks on it. What about that You could fart real loud. Yeah, you could do that too. It’s a choice that some people make. Hmm. Wow. Again, I’m sorry, but I kind of not ’cause I love the story. This is, this is airing the day after my birthday and in honor of my birthday. I’m giving. 20% off any level of the mythical society. If you’ve been thinking about joining mythical society now through June 14th, you have the opportunity to do that at a 20% discount. So jump on that. You have to use code Serpent King, all one word at checkout@mythicalsociety.com. Spread the word if you’re trying to get other people to join the society. Lots of exclusive content, exclusive fan driven experiences and specials. Um, lots of access. And inside information mythical society.com. Uh, let’s talk about this book. How Bad We, okay, so I can’t remember who it was. It was one of you that talked about this. You said that we had been featured in a book and we wanted to verify that that was the case, because honestly, I thought that if we had been mentioned in a book. That more people would’ve told us, because this book Unloved a novel by Peyton Corinne, author of Unsteady is a popular romance novel. You know, this is not, I mean, this is, this is like, oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Like, she’s selling a lot of these. She’s sold a lot of this. I don’t know. Is it, it’s the second in the series. Second in the series. Mm-hmm. Okay. And, uh, unstead is the first, I mean, a lot of people have read this. A lot of people love it. Jenna, had you heard of this book before us? I know you hear for a lot of books. I’d, I’d heard of this series. Okay. Yeah. But I didn’t know either. So what’s, what’s marked here? Okay, so I’ve already, I, I, I already read through this, just so, so I’d be ready. Okay. Mm-hmm. Give it to me. Okay. And you have to piece this together. Okay. And, and, and ladies, please. Interject. Any both of you have read this? Mm-hmm. Yes. The whole book. Yeah. Really quick read. Okay. Mm-hmm. Do you wanna give us a quick summary of, of what the book’s about? Yeah. So the book is about this particular one. Um, two college students, Freddy and Roe. Uh, and they have this like tutor student, even though they’re both students, uh, relationship and it’s a very spicy will they, won’t they? Yeah. Trying to keep professional, but the urges are too strong type situation and he’s like a savior to her. They save each other in different ways. What subject. Uh, chemistry. Yes. Oh, yeah. That’s nice. Of course, he was he biology and he’s a, uh, he’s a hockey player. Yes. Very good hockey player. Has very good hockey player. Has his teeth, all his teeth. Mm-hmm. Okay. For now he does prob Yeah. You know, with the, the modern, modern technology has the veneers, modern technology, you know, so this is chapter 15, page 1 0 5. This is from Freddy’s perspective. It’s not like half you’re, you’re like, you know, a, a third of the way through the novel. Before you get into us, you don’t wanna be on page one. We’re not a, we’re not a major character, I guess. No, we’re not a plot point. I hang up throwing the phone back toward my bed before cranking up the volume of the TV on the screen is some internet show I’ve watched for years. That comforts me, even now, before heading into the bathroom for a long shower, hoping the steam and heat will wash away the hatred and gnawing guilt and fury swirling in my head. Now you might think, how do you know that’s about GMM? Well. Stay tuned. So right now we’re just some internet show that I used to watch and I still do forget. No, I’ve watched for years. That comforts me even now. But is it some internet show? Some internet show. Some internet show, yeah. Some internet show watched for years. Comforts me even now. Okay. You’re tracking. I’m, I’m trying to decide if, if this makes me feel good. Well just wait. Chapter 17, page 1 21. Okay. Still Freddy’s talking. I consider her question for a moment, but shake my head. Resting my elbow on the center console. So our arms touch. Not really. I mainly watch YouTube videos. I like GMM. I don’t say that I watch them all the time, often to fall asleep or when I first wake up. It weirdly makes me feel not so alone. Huh? I know. Sweet. GMM caught out. I mean, they could have said good mythical morning, but that’s not what the character would’ve said. I take it even better, better that it’s just GMM now. Yeah. Yeah. This is a good moment to acknowledge the possibility that the GMM in question. Yes. Is that Asian television show? Um, yeah, we found out about that. But through hashtags, or it could be Good morning Memphis, uh, if you go to or Good Morning, Maryland, they both used hashtag GMM before we went at them years ago. Mm-hmm. To say, Nope, that’s our hashtag. Now. I don’t think we care about hashtags. No, we don’t. But SEO still matters. GMM tv, uh, I think it is a, I think it’s a whole network. Mm-hmm. Okay. In Thailand. I don’t know where it is, but anyway, that’s not what, thats not, not some internet show. No. And there’s definitive proof in subsequent pages. Oh, okay. Okay. We’re out of the book for, for a good ways 140 pages. I’ll say with that second excerpt, there was this, the character had this security in our show that like a comfort in security, but there was an insecurity in sharing that need. I have to watch this show in order to make me feel better. He was like, yeah, I, I watch GM I’m not gonna tell her that. I watch it to not feel so alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m gonna say that in my thoughts. Yeah. But on page two six, we’ve made a fake character in a novel, not feel alone. Yeah. That makes me feel fake. Good. On page, real good. 2 63. This is, I guess, Roe. Mm-hmm. This is her perspective, and I think, are they hooked up by this point? Yes. Hmm. Okay. And what kind of details do we have there? Why didn’t you mark that? It goes well, it goes very well. But you said it’s not too sloppy. It’s not too slop. They don’t like go all the way for a while. Oh, it’s a dry hump, but it’s like, basically she has this boyfriend that she breaks up with. Who is the worst, the worst, the worst. He never, I never wanted the downfall of a character more in my life. And I read Game of Thrones. I hate him. Literally, uh, that made. Her Ro feel really insecure and bad about herself for just like having sexual urges in general. Mm-hmm. And so she can like lose all her inhibitions with Freddy. And so even though they don’t go all the way, it’s still pretty steamy. Well, he’s a tutor. Yeah. It’s a slow burn. Very. She’s the, and then it gets very steamy. She’s the tutor. She’s tutoring Freddy. She’s the mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. I like that a lot more actually. Yep. Yep. Okay. Uh, 2 63. This is Rose’s perspective. I flip off the light. Something plays on the tv. Muted, but colorful enough to cast a glow over us. The same two guys eating ridiculous food at a desk. A comfort show he often turns on is calm and relaxing, welcoming in a strange way. Ha. Welcoming. Yeah. Did they, did they do the dirty while we’re on the, I hope so. The television, I think that’s what’s implied. Is that what is about to happen? No, theyre muted and we’re just watching. They cuddle, they cuddle and fall asleep together. Mm-hmm. I think is that scene. While we eat food and gaw at him. It’s very nurturing and lovely. Yeah. Yeah. Light puffs of his breaths against my neck is what all that happens during GMM. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Light neck puffs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ll take a neck puff. Uh, and then the last mention, again, this is just using context on page three 15, she turns on our favorite internet show, letting an auto play as I rest my head on her shoulder and she rests hers on mine. I know they, it became their show. Yeah. Ah, really? Yeah. I mean, they’re cute. Peyton Corrine, you have done your research. I think it’s Corrine. Corrine, right? I mean, that’s what I would say. I think so. Yeah. Well, I don’t know. Well, Peyton, I. You’ve done your research as we have also discovered, a lot of people find comfort just putting this on. Maybe we’re muted. Do a little cuddling, do a little neck puffing. But like, y’all have received so much fan mail over the years from couples talking about how they formed a connection while watching your show, or because you watched the show. Yeah. And like, so like we get all the wedding invitations now, couples being like mm-hmm. It’s our comfort. We watch it together. We always have a good laugh. And now it’s in a romance novel. Mm-hmm. And I love it. And we’re a part of a fictional romance. Here’s a slow beautiful, that, that is my favorite out of the book. I loved that. Yeah. I like it better than the first one, honestly. Same. Okay. Here’s what I’ll say, Peyton. Um, first of all, thank you. Thank you. We are flattered. Um, I don’t believe that you put. GMM in your book. So what is happening right now would happen. You’re a good writer, a great writer as far as I can tell, and as far as the internet seems to think that’s doing well. Um, but if you did, we’re very happy that you did that. And we invite you to do, we’re happy to give you what you want, which is we’re happy motion. We’re happy for you to do it as much as you want. And I have a proposition for you now. I will make a note here. Hold on. That, um, you haven’t consulted me on any propositions. Uh, you have the cover of this book is tasteful right now. My mother read romance novels growing up, and I would say that the tasteful is not how I would describe the covers. Yeah, I would say a little bty, a little sweaty. And we’ve always dreamed the two of us here, me and this guy, uh, of being on the cover of a romance novel. Maybe being on different covers, but Yes. Yeah, maybe, maybe subsequent covers and, uh, I don’t know. I’ve been growing my hair out for a reason for years. I knew it. I knew that was the reason. And, um, so anyway, I don’t know if you’re gonna do like a second edition. I don’t know what you think Freddy looks like. Maybe not like one of us. I don’t know if there’s ever an occasion. It would be confusing if, if one of us was Freddy then who would be, who want, and also to guide the internet show. I’m just assuming Pey, that you’re gonna keep writing and maybe as you get older things will get even balder. I don’t know how, I don’t know how your career’s gonna progress. I’m sure it’s, it’s only, it’s only gonna get better at this point. Uh, but what I’m saying is that we are ready and willing to be cover models for your subsequent books if that’s something that you’re interested in. Right. All I’m really gonna ask for is that. Just keep making us the symbol of successful relationships in all of your substances. Okay. That would be great too. I would really like that. And I, and I, and also now I’m gonna move on to other authors. Um, oh, okay. I, if you do decide to put us in your books in a, in a positive light mm-hmm. Yes. We’ll probably talk about it on this very popular podcast. Yeah. Especially if you can work in like youtube.com/good mythical morning subscribe. Click the bell. Like go all the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave a review wherever you get your podcast kind of a thing. You know, and you’ve heard it here. You can actually put that in there and you’ll get, you’ll get something like this. You’ll get something like this. You’ll get, Hey, have you read Unloved A Novel by Peyton Corinne, author of Unsteady. She’s earnest raw, well, earnest, raw. I don’t know if she’s earnest, raw and sexy. Unloved friends with tenderness and heart, the college romance of my dreams. That’s from Elena Armas, New York Times bestselling author. And there’s other things that are said on the back of this book that are very praiseworthy about this book. People like it. We’ve got two women right here in this room that read it. Mm-hmm. And loved it. Mm-hmm. And they didn’t just love it because it mentioned GMM. They loved it because it’s a good solid romance novel. Yep. Okay. Mm-hmm. And, and we can write on the back for the next edition. We could endorse it sight unseen at this point. A moving Tale of Forbidden Love between a tutor and two tests featuring though not featuring quite enough. Oh, come on. Don’t ruin. Don’t ruin it for us. Don’t ruin it for us. Good Mythical morning and written link. Featuring re link if you do a next, if you do a second edition written by link Inre, can you do a second edition that says featuring re link on the cover? Yeah. Muted. Featuring a muted re link. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. We’ve arrived. We have arrived. Hit us. Alright. I already left two, but Okay. I need to see you guys do this. It’s been going around on TikTok. Okay. So what you have to do is breathe all the air out of your lungs and try your best to scream, make no air, and try and scream. Okay. So we gonna do this. Have you seen people do this? I haven’t. Yeah, I saw it a few months back. Still going, huh? Yeah, let’s do it. Yeah. This is a recent, let’s do it one at a time. You gotta do it one at a time. You wanna go first? Breathe out. Don’t breathe out first. All air. All air. Just breathe out. Start right now. Start breathing. You just breathe. You well. You breathe in first. Why’d you do that? He’s breathing out. He’s still emptying Big old lungs. Ah, was that real dude? That’s all you got. Ah, I, I got, Hey, I, I got every single drop of air outta my lungs ’cause I’m not scared of drowning. Dry drowning. I know you are. So you gotta, I have a fear of, uh, wet drowning. I don’t know what dry drowning is. Now that you gimme another fear, get it all out. Well, first of all, I wanna unpack what just happened to you? What did that feel like? Did it hurt? Uh, no. Uh, I felt, I felt nothing. I felt nothing. Uh uh See if you, that’s what it was. See if you can do, that’s the sound anyway. See, ah, it was like a volleyball that had been squished completely all the way down to nothing. That just means I emptied completely. There’s no more hair air in there. Alright, let’s see what you got. Keep going. And when you think there’s still some, there’s nothing left. You have to keep going again. Mm-hmm. And don’t breathe in and just scream without breathing in. Okay. Okay. That’s, he’s pushing that one. The, I was laughing when it happened to me. It hurts. It hurts so bad. Oh, crying. Oh, it is the most pitiful looking. That’s, Hey, that’s what it’s gonna look like when you die. Yeah. Just saw how I’m gonna die. It looked. You looked so pitiful. My grandkids gonna watch that happen. Oh my God. For everyone listening, they need to watch the video. You gotta watch this video. Really watch it. ’cause the sound, I mean the sound is one thing, but just the look in your face. I don’t want to do it again. Do it again. Do it again. All I’m gonna do, do it again. Do it again. You had a little too much air. I think you almost, you gotta laugh out of it. Yeah, I was. It does hurt though. Ah, ah, it, it, it is giving me flashbacks to win. Uh, Jason Valencia challenged me to a chicken fighting competition in grade school, and we were hanging on the monkey bars and he, his first kick landed square in my chest. Oh yeah. And I fell on the floor and it, like, everything seized up and I, and I couldn’t breathe it, like it froze. I went, ah, that’s the only sounding me and everybody was watching. I was on the ground like, you know how, and like getting the wind knocked outta you getting mad, getting the wind knocked outta you is the worst. There’s nothing like it, man. It’s always funny though. It’s always funny. I mean, what is that? Every, like, all the air sacks were like completely collapsed. Yeah. You need that every once in a while. And then your, I guess your diaphragm is trying to push up the last little bit. It’s like, it’s like squeezing a toothpaste tube. I know. It’s, it’s the end of a toothpaste tube, huh? Huh? Yeah. I don’t like that feeling Boy, that feeling of like smosh ification. I kinda like it. I didn’t know I would like that. I mean, filling your lungs with air, like taking like a huge breath like that, that’s very healthy. Like complete oxygenation. Like you might go days or longer without a complete oxygenation. A complete exhale is good for you too though. ’cause you get all the carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, but then, but then you lo if you’ve got much carbon monoxide in your lungs, yeah. You got a problem. You can kill, you can kill somebody. I need to be tutored. I need to be tutored in chemistry. Oh, by row. To know the difference between carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide CO. And CO2. Okay. I took chem 1 0 1. I love the fact that when Freddy found someone and he was no longer lonely. He didn’t give up our show. They brought each other into it. They were in it together. Yes, we’ve seen many because I was afraid that Freddy wouldn’t need us. Many relationships. Many relationships. Mm-hmm. Enhanced. We bring people together. Maybe we should start catering. We should have like, like making trays of food. Yeah, that too. We’ll do anything right. One week. Relink hot tins. One day a a month. Something that acknowledges the lovers who are watching together. Well, we got celibacy week. Well, that’s the opposite. Okay. I don’t know. Let’s think about it. Trying to think about hit us. Hey, my name’s Jake. Uh, I’m calling kind of in response to the voicemail someone left about what to do to text, um, their ex-boyfriend’s new, new partner. And, um, you, you guys talked about the, are we dating the same guy pages. My mom actually was once in this situation and found out that the person she was dating through a Facebook page was dating many women and was also all around. Even outside of that, a piece of, can I say sh-t? You can, um, and ended up reaching out to these women and now they’re all like best friends. So I say, text the person back. If you haven’t, you could have a new great friend. All right. That’s all wanted to share. Okay. IE real world experience. It’s better than what we were doing, which is just pulling stuff outta our asses. Yeah, because I don’t quite remember. I. What our advice was. It was girl code. She called her and said, why did you break up with him? Yep. And we gave the right advice. Then we gave, we gave that, we gave that advice, which is, yeah, you need to let ’em know. Let her know. Yeah. Don’t be afraid about that connection if you are looking out for your fellow girl. I mean, have we ever been in a relationship? Have we ever been friends with somebody who dated the same person? Yes. Us of course, in middle school doesn’t. I mean, it, it was kind of frivolous. It was, you know, by that point, uh, have you been friends with somebody? Did you meet someone through having dated the same person? Now you’re friends with them, uh, a whole corral of them. You, I gotta, I gotta go back through the list. That’s a, that’s, yeah. Um, I would say like, definitely in high school Yeah. It was like not as serious. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It happens all the time in school. Um, and that, and, and that’s my advice for high schoolers and I’ve given this advice to high schoolers mm-hmm. That I may or may not be related to. Um, that when you break up in high school, don’t let it dissolve the friend group. That’s good. Because I’m, it’s, it’s like, you know, don’t let that in high school especially that really messed the stuff up. College is, it depends. College is a little bit borderline whether or not you remain friends or you not remain close, but like you’re still in the friend group. For us, we had like the same 12 or so people that were Right. Just, just friends throughout high high school and we didn’t wanna break it up. We all just broke up and went out with each other over and over again and it didn’t matter. Yeah, it was like a, just a random recombination of elements. Right. But yeah. ’cause it, it’s tragic when that diffuses an entire friend group. Just don’t talk to each other. Talk to the other people in the friend group and be civil about it. It can work. Yeah. And then slowly you’ll both date somebody else and you’ll be distracted. And it won’t matter anymore. Won’t matter. Won’t matter anymore. I have warned a friend that their partner was cheating on them and they got mad at me. Got mad at you? No. Yeah. Like I was like, Hey, by the way, this picture is going around social media. Oh. And then she got mad at me. She’s like, I don’t, I can’t believe you’re telling everyone. I was like, I didn’t tell anyone. I told you. That’s it. Okay. And she stayed with him for a while, but then it ended. Yeah, like after years. And are you still friends with this person? Yeah. Okay. I was like, well, you’ll figure it out. Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. But at the time I was like, why are you mad at me? Did your friend apologize? No. Mm. Yeah. Sometimes people don’t like the messenger. Sometimes they don’t like the messenger. Okay, so you saw what could happen in the real world. Let’s hear another question. Hey RedLINK. My name is Ella. I’m from North Carolina. I’m currently a college student at NC State Go Pack. Um, but I just have a little issue that I would love some advice on. So I have this friend who is very good in small doses, is very. Can be a bit overbearing and a bit self-absorbed and a bit mean, but she is sweet occasionally. And so I prefer our friendship in um, maybe like every other month hangouts. Anyway, we are working in the same city for the summer and I had been planning on taking a four hour drive to see another one of our friends just for a weekend. And I must have mentioned this to her because she just sent me a text that said, by the way, if you end up making that four hour drive, I’m coming. Um, and I didn’t really know how to, um, respond to that because I do think if I, in four hours in a car with her, I will lose my mind and I can’t do that. But I still wanna go on this trip. I just don’t know how to like break it to her that I don’t wanna spend eight hours total in a car with her. So any advice would be so, so helpful. Thank you so much. Love you guys. Okay. All right. Oh gosh. This is tough. This is tough because my first thing is like, if you knew all of this, you’re the, you, you seem to be saying that. Yes, you slipped up and mentioned it, but you know, so I could be putting you on the hook here as, as the problem. You should have kept it secret completely to avoid all of this. But doesn’t that feel icky? Yeah. Yeah. ’cause how would, how would she know that they, that friend would invite themselves? Well, it sounds like she may have known that this is the type of the thing, that type of thing that the friend might do. Mm, no, she just mentioned it offhand and then the friend like goes all the way to say, well, now you know I am coming. I mean, first of all, this makes sense. I mean, just because you’re friends with somebody doesn’t mean you wanna spend, I. All your time with them, and it doesn’t mean that the amount of time you wanna spend with them equals the amount of time that they wanna spend with you. Mm-hmm. Like, there’s different, you know, there’s different levels of tolerances and we’re all individuals. Mm-hmm. Uh, but if you’re trying to school somebody on that or talk about it, that can, that can be hurtful. I can’t be in a car with you for four hours. Matter of fact, I can’t be around you more than one session every two months. Ooh. You know, that’s not the type of thing that you wanna say, but it’s real. Right. It’s real practically. I mean, I know you, there’s never a time that you want to have a little space for me. Never. And I would never want to have any space from you. Right. Or even with our wives, I’m sure there’s ati. There’s never a time that Christie wants to have space for me. Never. She’s never mentioned that to me. Um, practically, this is the way that, I’m just gonna tell you the way that I would handle it, not the way that you should handle it. I’m just gonna be, I without getting strategic. What I would do in this situation is I would let them come and I would mm-hmm. No, again, I’m not, this is not my advice. Okay. I’m just telling you what I would do. Which you would do conflict avoidant, you’d, yeah. You’d bite the bullet. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings and I end up like, you know, taking one for the team. I do. I’m pretty good at that. So. I would let them go. And then I would do some sort of like zen thing with my, this is, I would talk myself into, this is a good thing for me to learn how to be with this person. And like, you know, the fact that they’re a little bit intolerable in my mind is a good reason as a spiritual practice. Let’s use that term broadly as a spiritual practice to bring this person along. I would justify it in that way. And then what I would do, um, on the back end is I would just make sure that I never invited them to any, like, I would make sure that I didn’t make the same mistake again and be like, this time they found out, okay, I’ll let ’em come and I’ll try to make it into some sort of edifying experience. You give ’em one last chance. Is that what you’re doing? Well, and the interesting thing, and maybe you already know this, if you know this person well. But I’ve had a couple of situations in life where there was somebody that I didn’t really want to be around, and then circumstances precipitated that gave me no choice but to be around them for a long period of time. And I ended up getting to appreciate them or like them almost as a, in the same way I made myself like honey mustard when I was a kid. Okay. You know, I didn’t like honey mustard, but I kept seeing it on things and everyone else seemed to like it and it kept showing up next to chicken tenders. And so I was like, I’m gonna make my, and first of all, honey mustard is pretty easy to like, let me just say, in retrospect, it’s pretty easy to like, yeah. Especially for me. But for some reason I didn’t like it and I made myself like it. And now I like it. And I did, I’ve done that with people as well. Hold on. Am am I honey mustard? No, no, you’re not honey mustard. You’re more like, uh. Uh, sweet and sour. Yeah. You’re something a little more, uh, polarizing than any mustard. I mean Yeah, but sweet and sour. Sweet and sour. But I so you, he’s trying to tell you this is an, an avenue of personal growth. This is the thing. That’s what I would do, because I don’t like to have the conversation. That link may be about to tell you that to have, which is to just be honest with the person. Nope, I have something better than that. Okay. But finish your thought. And I’m just saying that right or wrong. That’s the way I would do it. And then it, I, it may make my trip miserable and I stand by the fact that that is a possibility. Mm. Life’s too short, man. You could die on this trip. It could be your last trip before, before you. But I also don’t think that life is about curating your experience to be exactly what you want. Well, that’s a good point. I would seem like a jerk if I disagree with that. No, because I think that you can, you can get really committed to curating your experience and having everything the way that you want, and then realize that that actually makes it harder and harder for you to curate your experience. That’s a nugget. Alright. So that being said and agreed with. Okay. If you don’t want to go down that path, Hey, your front seat’s broken in your car and your back seat’s full of stuff. Oh, you just lie. Nope. You gotta break your seat. I think break your seat first and then say My front seat is broken. I think you have to take all seats out. Yeah. All my seats are out. Yeah, they’re being washed and then they’re out. You don’t have ’em. Or take a moped. I think that I’m taking a moped on this four hours. I’ll be going on a one person moped. You can put two people on a moped. It’s dangerous. I don’t think the friend would still go on a moped. Yeah, I think they would say no. Um, here’s what I, what I’m thinking. It seems to me that you want to be a type of person that can, if you, you wanna be able to set ground rules and like the playing field of relationships so that you can be honest and it not be this type of thing where it’s like, oh my god. I am now devastated because this person didn’t invite me to every single thing. It’s like, you know, or I, I think if the challenge is to take this long play of telling people what you think in a way that they get used to, that being part of who you are, certainly that’s the flip side, you know, so it’s like, or you could say, you might could make it about you and not about them. It would be something, I don’t know what you would say there. It would be possible for you to come, but I just want to be honest and say I’ve, I really have determined that I need some alone time and I’ve been looking forward to the road trip in it as it own thing. That’s a good strategy of me. Just, I, I have some thoughts that I need to get straight in my head and I do that while driving. Hopefully all this can become true. And then you’re sitting there like, I need to have this time to myself. You know, in, in all relationships, especially the closest ones. I think it, it’s a healthy thing to be able to say, without the other person taking offense, I need some time alone. I need my own space without the other person in the relationship getting offended. I think that’s something that, um, Christie and I have worked through that dynamic and sometimes if one of us gets in our head that like, we miss the other person or we feel a little disconnected, and if the other person’s thinking the opposite, that they need more space or whatever, it can feel personal and can feel hurtful. Mm-hmm. But then if you work through it and you can talk about, hey, this is just how I’m wired. And I love you to death, but I can only really see you twice, once every two months. If you’re saying that to your partner, that’s, that’s, that’s a problem. That’s gonna be a bigger problem. But I don’t know. Can you say that to a friend? I can only take you in small doses. I could, I might say that to somebody, but that probably hurt their feelings. I don’t see any way around that. It would, so I wouldn’t, I could, I wouldn’t say that. Make it about you and your choice. I think you can say that to, I think there are levels of relationships in which you could say that, especially if someone is clearly, uh, overbearing. You know, I, I, I think sometimes people need to, I’m gonna sneeze. We’ll cover your mouth. I will. Uh, you should have breathed all the way out first. Oh, could you imagine? You imagine what that does? Do a sneeze. Next time I’ll do it. Breathe out slowly. Because I don’t want to be, you don’t wanna be a jerk. No, no. I don’t wanna be a jerk. But I also, I agree. Like, I don’t think that, you should never say this kind of thing to people. I’m, I’m saying in this scenario, if it’s one trip, I’m just telling you what I would do. But if you made plans, but you made plans to go on a trip, this is your trip. If it was a week and somebody literally invites themself on the trip and you don’t want them to be there, you have every right to tell ’em not to go. Yeah. But yeah, this telling you what I would do. Trip your plan with another friend. I, I get it. I’m just telling you what I would do. But you need, I, I think the personal growth is not finding a way to tolerate somebody that you don’t wanna be there. Sounds like the personal growth could be, I’ve got to be able to say what I feel and I’m thinking I need to, I need to, I. Represent myself of course. And I think there, there’s a time and a place, and that may separate be the time and place my, my actions from your feelings. I just think that there’s a line for it, right? So it’s like this middle ground we’re trying to find, and I think that it’s a line who is different for everybody, right? If this person was saying, if I was going on a week long camping excursion and they invite, I’d be like, hold on, I’ve got, I I the whole, I wanna be alone. Or we, we, I was looking forward to just the time with this person to really connect. You know, I recently had, um, case in point, um, I have a group of people that I hang out with occasionally, and I have another friend who was like, do you think when you hang out with those people, would it be okay if I came. Huh. And he kind of knew, because the time that I have with this particular group is kind of like special and intermittent and requires travel and that kind of thing. Okay. And so, and I was like, you know, um, and he was like, we don’t see each other enough, so is there some way, ’cause he kind of knows those guys or whatever. And I was like, you know, actually I think, uh, what I’ve got with those guys is really special and something that has, has been building over the course of years and I really wanna maintain that dynamic. And so I don’t think that would be the, I was, and he, but he’s a friend who I can say things like that to. So you did say that? Yeah. Yeah. And how did he respond? He was like, cool. Um, and again, it was also because it wasn’t about me. I was protecting the other guys, not from him, but just because I do believe in the dynamic that I have with those guys. Yeah. And so, um, and it would be. It would be a bit of an intrusion on, on that. I think a lot of times for me it’s like if it’s just, if I’m the only one who’s going to suffer, I find some way to like make like a spiritual practice out of it. But if I’m like, this is going to upset these other people, then I, I’m in this trolley problem situation where I have to minimize the amount of upset for other people. And so I wouldn’t necessarily say that was me like standing up for myself as much as it was me standing up for the dynamic in this other group. But I do say I am honest with people like that when I need to be, but sometimes I’m just like, okay, this is what this is gonna be tonight, or this is what, this is gonna be this weekend or whatever, and I’ll just deal with it. But if you were really looking forward to the trip and then dude’s like, I’m, oh yeah, that thing that you happen to mention to me but didn’t invite me on, I am going. And you were really looking forward to it. Yeah, I probably, I would be like, oh, you can’t just invite yourself to something. I mean, if I, I think, I don’t know if I would have, if I have somebody in my life who would say that to me, I’m going. Mm-hmm. Right. So it, this is an interesting situation. I don’t know if I’ve got somebody that would say that I, and they did. I would be like, mean you can’t invite yourself, or I think what you should say is, you know what? I plan this just to be me alone on the road. Which is if there’s something about that that works for you, put that in there and then talk about like what you’re hoping for with the friend. It’s not, and it’s not that I’m trying to exclude you, but I need to, I see. I need this for these reasons. Hmm. And I’m looking forward to it for these reasons, and I don’t want you to take it personally. And then, you know what? Let’s plan, let’s plan something else two months from now in a short window, not a four hour trip. Yeah, I think that’s it. I think that’s, that’s a good, that’s a good place to play. I think that’s what you gotta figure out how to do. Don’t let wreck guilt you into taking one for the team so you can be more Buddhist or whatever. Be selfish. You know what? Life’s too short to think about some people’s needs. Okay. But that’s that. But I know you don’t mean that, but I don’t think it’s a, I don’t think it is a choice between, because I think that, but you’re talking, I mean, you said you made it, it seemed like it was a little selfish to curate an experience for yourself. But if you made plans with a friend and somebody butts in, that’s not, that’s just plans you’ve made. I don’t disagree. That you’re in, when you make the plans, you’re in charge of the plans. It’s like I’m, you know, I’m playing a birthday party. It’s up to me who I invite. That’s true. But, but, and then if somebody says, Hey, I heard about your birthday party. I’m coming to that, it was like, well. The, the reason why I didn’t invite you to this is for this reason, and then I would say, but I’m inviting you to this and I’d be making that up on the screen. Right. But Okay. But that’s a different thing because you are in, you planned, you planned something ahead of time. I think I’m more talking about the things that, okay. The, the case in point that I was talking about before was, yeah. Um, it was actually what, I’ve probably told this story before, but when we were on summer project, uh, so I was in college, this is a long time ago. And you know, you’re hanging out with these different students doing ministry work and every you, you get into these smaller groups and they randomly made the smaller groups to be like mixes of guys and girls or whatever. And I don’t know how they determined who was gonna be in what group. And I just, there’s only like 30 people there and I had just gotten to know this guy and I just remember thinking, well. As long as that dude’s not in my group, Uhhuh. And then he was the only other guy in my group. Oh. And you know, and of course I was in a spiritual mood and I was like, I was in summer project, like, you’re like as spiritual as you can be for the summer, right? Yeah. Um, and yeah. But what I did find, if we became good friends and we actually ended up like, I, I was, I was like, okay, this is, this is what I’m being taught right now. I would’ve said, this is what God is teaching me at this moment, is that sometimes you don’t get to be with the person that you want to be with. This is the person that you’re with. So I’m just saying that that principle, there is something to like, when things happen that you don’t like, like the wrong person shows up at your party may, whether they, you know, if they came with somebody else. Sure. A plus one shows up and it’s somebody that you don’t like. Like you have a choice in that moment. To be like, I’m gonna make the most out of this, or I’m going to try to control it and keep this person out. And I’m not, so, I do agree this is a different situation. I’m just saying that there probably is an opportunity at times, depending on your personality and what you need. It might be like, you know what, I’m gonna let this person come with me and I’m going to see if I can find something to appreciate about them. Yeah. Like that can, that, that can happen. That could be an option. I think we’re, we’re highlighting, you gotta know where, like what your tendencies are and why you’re making the decision and what you, what your weaknesses are. You can know how to play against those and develop. But just to zoom back out to like the most common scenario here, and that’s, let’s just say it’s three friends and they all, you all know each other and at times all three of you hang out, but then you hear that they hung out without you. You weren’t invited. Mm-hmm. And sometimes it’s all three of you. You have a, you have a, uh, a text group together that’s all three of you. It has a name, but apparently they text each other and made plans without you and showed up. And it was, so how, what do you do there? If you’re the person who’s excluded, who’s excluded, you know, are, is your feelings hurt? Of course they probably are. But then, then what, what do you do with that? Well, you know, and should we as friends be able to do things with other friends, of course, without the other friend? Because it’s the dynamics you have to res Well, I think that’s the question. Well, that specific scenario, Mel Robbins addresses that and let them, which is a great book by the way. Okay. Um, you know, this, the, the, the let Them theory or whatever, which is I. Pretty simple, but it’s complex enough to write a whole book about it. But it’s essentially, she talks about this situation actually pretty early on of finding out that she hadn’t been invited to something that her, you know, she was the one who was excluded from like a vacation or something. And like, I think a, a vacation families going on vacation that she had been one of the families before and all of of a sudden she wasn’t. I think is something like that. I mean, that’s even bigger when there’s a pattern and it’s like a special occasion thing. But the whole point of the book and the whole point of the, I think that requires conversation. That’s my opinion. Yeah. But the whole point of the theory was of the let them thing is to, am I going to insert What she did is, at first she was defensive and she was mad, and she was judgemental, but then she started looking at the situation and started asking questions about, well, why might this be the case? And then she, she saw some things and she saw that. You know, I really haven’t been as involved with, with them in the same way that we were. And it kind of like, from their perspective, this could make sense and I’m going to let them do this and have them enjoy this time. And, and I am gonna make a decision to respond in a way that’s healthy for me. You know, I’m, but butchering a little bit of the logic. But I think that, I do, I do think that if that’s happening, you, you might wanna ask the question why it is. And also, I, I think that warrants a conversation. You can just ask if it’s three people, of course. Because going from three to two is a huge dynamic shift and sometimes you like one-on-one time with a friend and it has nothing to do with a person. You’re not inviting. It’s just, that’s just how dynamics are. I don’t know. Are we good? Yeah. I mean, I think we’ve answered the hell out of that question. Well then let’s hit one more to. Hey RedLINK. My name’s Amanda. I wanted to enter myself into the accent challenge ’cause I think that people, it’s hard to guess where I’m from. So I’m going to say two words and I wanna see if you guys can guess where I am from or what state. Coffee, water. So I was definitely in, in the northeast the whole time. You were talking coffee. And when you said water waterer, coffee waterer. I think you’re from Pennsylvania. Okay. So who says waterer? So, and people from Philadelphia say waterer. I thought wa, I mean, water wooder to me feels like it’s Southern. But you’re saying that there’s something else that’s causing people to say waterer. Oh yeah. Coffee. She’s not coffee. She’s not from, you gotta be up there. If you’re saying coffee. Coffee. I think you’re from Pennsylvania and specifically Philly. I think. I don’t know where it is. I water. Um, I think it’s, I think it might be more north. This might be, um, all the way in Maine. Okay. Let’s find out. I’m from New Jersey, specifically South Jersey. Thank you. Water. South Jersey. They say water. South Jersey isn’t far off from, from Pennsylvania. Yeah, it’s very close. Or Maine. You’re in that Really? Yeah. Relatively speaking. If you look at the whole globe. We’re, but I’d say we’re both pretty close. But do they say water in Penn? In Philly? Because they say some, there’s some, a couple of words that they say that are really, and I can’t think of them right now, but like, they only say those words in Philly. Like whom? Yeah. Whom? That’s one of ’em. My family’s from Jersey and the coffee gave it away. The water is weird ’cause it’s like that. I feel like it’s very specific to like very south jersey for Jersey. ’cause like I was like, I was gonna say Massachusetts actually. Like, okay. Yeah. ’cause the coffee doesn’t, it wasn’t as like, wasn’t as Philly. Right. So, I don’t know. It’s a fun little game though. Hmm. You can, that was as close as we’ve gotten in a long time. Leave us a voicemail, uh, with your questions or if you want us to guess your accent. Anything that you wanna weigh in on that we’ve talked about, if you’ve just been like, oh, I wish they, I wish I could say something right now. Well, here’s your chance. 1 8, 8 8. Ear Pod one. And you know, just be a good friend. But you know, you know, sometimes you, you can be a better friend than other times. Sometimes you gotta be a good friend to yourself. Sometimes you gotta be a good friend to your friends. And sometimes if you can’t do both, you gotta make a choice. And as long as you spread that choice out over time, I think you’re okay. I just felt like I needed to say that. You need to answer that question even more. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to answer that question even more. Hey Rhett and Link, this is Audrey. Um, I just wanted to say love you guys. I have a lifelong best friend and she showed me you guys, and it’s become such a really big part of our long distance friendship and I just really appreciate you guys. Thanks for everything you do and for making a good name for long-term best Friends. Peace.