Today we stop and eat the roses. Let’s talk about that. ( music playing ) Good mythical morning. Mythical beasts, it is Valentine’s week. So today is the first of three very special love themed episodes. Now, it’s not Valentine’s Day yet, but it’s nearly Valentine’s Day so this is gonna be a nearly romantic episode. – Right. – And what’s more nearly romantic than – animals making babies? – Nearly nothing. That’s why we’ll be guessing animal mating calls. – Uh-oh. – But, that’s not all’s y’alls. Valentine’ Day is also about attraction, and what’s more attractive than magnets, so we’re gonna don full magnet body suits. And push the very limits of attraction. That’s later. First, well… – we’re eating flowers. – ( laughter ) It’s time for… Okay, there are a lot of flowers that are technically edible, but I’m assuming there’s a wipe gap between technically edible and good. Uh, but we’re gonna determine if they’re good and then we’ll rank them from best to worst. Right, and the worst will be “Valent-iarrhea?” Then “Vomit-ines,” “Valiant-ine effort,” – “Valenfines,” – Okay. “Valen-tasty,” “Valen-time of my life” – Uh-oh. – Or “Valentine’s Day-um!” – Whoa-ho-ho! – That one’s good. That’s a good flower! All right, and the first one we’re gonna be tasting is Rose. Um… I’ve heard of making rose water. I’ve had it and I love it. I love– I almost always choose floral tasting things if they are on a menu. – Really? – So I’m a big fan of the floral taste, but I typically don’t just eat the flower directly. – But it is in some dishes. – It’s an indirect flavor. Now, so, pluck it, dink it, taste it. Pluck it. That’s a good smelling thing though. ( sniffing ) Dang, though, it smell like romance. Spread that all over your floor. Romance will follow. – Tart. – Ooh, yeah. – Wow. – Ah! Are you sure this is okay? – ( laughter ) – ‘Cause I could swear it was poison. But if this is what it tastes like to be poisoned, I don’t know what it tastes like to be poisoned. In this form, it tastes like grass all of a sudden, like bad bitter grass. Is there a way to half taste them? Yeah, just like get some spit in your mouth and make some rose water. Oh, gosh! Look what color it turned in my mouth! Lookit, purple. – Oh, gosh! – ( laughter ) You got purple tongue. I got the purple tongue! Is that how they make purple dye? I don’t know but it wasn’t good. I hope some of these are good, gracious. I mean, I want to start this one off at a seven. Hoping that everything’s uphill from here. Okay, I love rose flavored things though. But I agree with you, the eating it straight and turning them purple was not fun. – I’ll just put it at five for now. – Okay… all right. Now, let’s move on to… ♪ Carnation instant breakfast ♪ Both: ♪ You’re gonna love it in an instant ♪ – Are we though? – ( laughter ) Rhett: Okay. These don’t smell as good as a rose. Maybe they’ll taste better. There’s one for you. Now, it’s not gonna turn purple in our mouth ’cause it’s white. Like, maybe the dye– It’s not dye, I know that. Whatever makes the rose so brightly colored. Maybe that was the bitter tasting, maybe this is gonna be nice? Yeah, and I– and it looks like something you get at Jo-Ann’s. – It looks fake. – Just– You know how flowers look fake? I’m just getting one after that lesson we learned. Yeah, that’s true. – Not bad at all. – It’s good, actually. – It’s sweet. – Man. – It tastes of the honeysuckle. – I could fill up on these. ( laughter ) And by the way, that is why we’re doing this. We’re starving. So during the apocalypse flower shops are gonna be a hot spot. – Mm. – It’s like 48 hours after the apocalypse starts This is a good– do you taste the honeysuckleness? Yeah. It has a honeysuckle anatomy too, to the bottom, you see that? It looks like a honeysuckle part right there. Now a bee, I think a bee be really into this. I can’t imagine a flower being better than this, honestly. You wanna leave a little room. Leave a little room. Leave a little room, put it at number two. Reserve the right to change it up. – Uh, this is “chamamillie.” – I’m familiar with this one. Now, they, they, turned chamomile into tea, but… I didn’t know it looked like this. Sleepy time. Makes you get a little sleepy. – It calms you down. – Where are the flowers? They’re so small. – Don’t eat– don’t eat– – They don’t smell. These are the one’s you’re supposed to eat over here. Oh, okay. Um, so I think this is a full flower situation. Just… okay. ( laughter ) Is that too much? Should you not have done that? Go lighter. Okay, I’m just gonna do– I’m just gonna do a flower. – Uh. – That was unnecessary. Oh, my– Oh, my worse. – It’s strong– it’s strong. – Rhett: Oh, gosh, it’s strong! Oh, that’s why the flowers are so small. – ( coughing ) – Oh, we gotta cut this. We gotta cut it down to just a very, very small– – ( groaning ) – Rhett: Get just a petal. – I can’t– I can’t. – Oh, gosh! I sure picked the wrong one to munch on like a cow. I– I– it’s frozen my face innards. My face innards aren’t functioning anymore, – like it’s closing down. – I’m just getting petals. – It’s still so strong. – It tastes like perfume, like, like, you’re walking through Dillard’s and somebody just went ( spray sound ) right in your mouth. Dillard’s, huh? You know, the, uh… what are you talking about? – Macy’s? – I don’t go to Dillard’s. ( chuckles ) Dill-ard’s? Did I say it wrong? – Um- – Uh, I don’t know what to tell you because– This is horrible, but it’s good in a tea? Are we– are we tasting it to see if how the flower is to eat? Or are we just tasting the flavor profile of the flower? Both. And it’s horrible. Yeah, I think it’s got– I mean, it doesn’t work like this. – No, it doesn’t work. – It’s worse than a rose. Yes, it is. It’s too pungent. It’s too pungent in just raw flower form. – Okay, “Vomit-ine’s.” – Six. All right, uh, how about a snapdragon. – Oh, gosh. – That’s a pretty flower. Oh, here’s the ones that we’re gonna eat. That is nice looking. There’s not a lot of smell to it. – Mmm. – I think we can go hard on these. I’m kind of nervous. Well, you went hard last time let me go hard this time. Just give me one. – I don’t know. – I kind of feel like I can do like a– I think you should eat this part and not that part. Not the greenishness part. Eat the fully ripened petals, like this. I kinda just want to go like this. That was a good trick. Whoa. – There’s a meatiness. – It tastes like a freaking salad. – It does. – It tastes like a freaking salad with dressing. How did it get dressing? And the, texture is very meaty. Oh, my goodness! Snap! Oh, snap… dragon. ( laughter ) That’s good. It’s not as good as the carnation. No way, what? What? Taste the carnation again. Okay, it is getting a little overrun. but I did have a whole stalk. Yeah, if you’d eaten one at a time, there’s a hint of sweetness that– that I guess you think is dressing. Give me a part of that carnation again, because I’m really conflicted about this. ‘Cause I’m saying this should be three. It’s not quite as good as a carnation. There’s no instant breakfast in that. You’re right, carnation’s better. – Mm-hmm. – Yeah. – There is no ranch on that. – Put it at three. Okay. Moving along. – Chrysanthemum – These are common faire. Common faire in flower arrangements. But there’s somebody who has named their kid this. Oh, yeah, hopefully they call him or her Chris for short. Now, let me tell you a little something about Chrysanthemums. – ( sighs ) – Um, you never want to give someone just these. This is a complimentary flower, okay? Trust me. I’ve ended three relationships. You wanna see a big I love you flower. This is supposed to surround of meaning. These are flowers of “meh,” you know what I’m saying? It’s kinda like, “Oh, this is definitely–” or you want to friend zone somebody? Get ’em a pile of chrysanthemums. A pile of them. Just pile it up. Pile up that friendship zone. I’m gonna just ( pops tongue ) all the way. Dink it. ( laughter ) Oh. Oh. Yeah, they taste, like they look. – Yellow? – Yeah. – Um… – It doesn’t taste great. – No. – So, it’s like, it’s a totally disregardable taste. – It’s– I would say it’s a little perfumey. – Rhett: You know what? – Yeah. – It’s not– what you’re saying is, – it’s not bad, and it’s not good. – Yeah. It’s a chrysanthemum. The middle slide is open and begging for a little chrysanthemum love. Yeah, “Valen-fines.” – That’s perfect. – You know, I was actually nervous about how, – there was gonna be any way to delineate these. – Differentiate, yeah. But… I mean, they are so different. All right, moving along. You got the next one? Sunflower? Now we know you can eat a sunflower, right? Look at that thing. You can eat the seeds at least. Yeah, the seed’s in there. What? It’s that black thing? Is where the seeds are hiding? That’s the seeds right there, you pull them out and it’s just like your big league game. I don’t think so. I don’t– No, there’s no seeds in there, dude. The seeds don’t come from the flowers? I’m not botanist… Maybe they already happened. I think the seeds have already happened. Maybe the seeds have already left. It’s just like us, it can no long procreate. – Yup. – Okay. – Um. – Man, how much of this are we… I don’t want to just eat it like a bird. It’s just so inviting. Yeah, it’s kind of like a Portobello mushroom. – type of situation. – They’re so moist. Like you’re getting hit with flower water. – Dink it. – ( crunching ) Um… no. ( laughter ) – It tastes like– – Hold on, hold on! It’s citrusy. It tastes like a cheap spa smells, you know what I’m saying. It tastes like a cheap spa smells. Like a spa that’s got a $20 massage deal. Oh, ooh! When you really get into it, – it turns really bad too. – Yeah, right, uh-huh. Just like those $20 spas. The seeds, the seeds hogged all the good tasties. – ( spitting ) Not good. – Uh. Not good, but it’s no chamomile. – ( spitting ) – I mean, it’s not as bad as chamomile. – Chamomile is a– – And it’s not… ( stammers ) – It’s worse than rose. – It is worse than rose. We’re going with six. So now we’re either shifting the whole scale on the final one, – which is heather. – Heather? Or we’re sodding it in somewhere. All right, heather, I bet someone has named their kid this. – ( laughter ) – Yeah, probably. Which came first, though? The chicken. – Uh… – It doesn’t smell good at all. – I guess I can smell this one. – Heather doesn’t smell good. – Ooh! – I’ve always thought that. – Heather smells like a wet dog. – I know. – Let me smell your heather. – Sometimes I think, you know, I should talk to Heather about the way she smells. Ooh! I’m smelling wet dog. Really? It does not smell good at all. And I don’t know… it’s almost got an herbiness– like I don’t know where to… That looks like dill almost. But I’m just gonna grab– Link: Is this in the dill weed family. So I’ve got all of that. The variety– first of all, the variety of flowers in the world alone is enough to make me want to go back to school. Whoo! That’s bitter! Gah! – Gah! – Did you get some of the green? You got some of the green. I’m not getting any of the green. – Is that a problem? – Yeah. – Just get the flowers. – ( spitting ) Uh! – ( swishing water ) – Heather is bland. ( spitting ) So you just got the white parts. – Like the… – Heather is so bland. – the larva? – Heather is so forgettable. So, if you get the green part, you’re in a world of hurt. I mean, it’s like nothing. It has developed no flavor. So we’re gonna slide this in right in here? Yes, yes, somewhere in there. – Four and a half? – I mean, we’re basically shifting all of these. Shift it. Shift it, shift it. All right, so now we are crowning snapdragon the second tastiest flower to our palate. The only two worth eating on a regular basis straight are snapdragon and carnation, but carnation slightly edges out snapdragon as the best edible flower according to “Good Mythical Morning.” Congratulations, Carnation Instant Breakfast. You’ve don it again. – Yup. – Keep watching to see us wear suits made completely out of magnets. Link: A wise person once said, “Listen to your heart. You know what else has heart? Our podcast, “Ear Biscuits.” Listen to that. New episode available today, on Apple podcast and wherever podcasts are available.