you would not believe how long some dude went without blinking let’s talk about that I’m Jack from Tennessee good mythical morning good mythical morning this episode is brought to you by catalyst dot-com where you can get the lawn aerator sandals they look like medieval torture devices but they’re just spas for your lawn that’s what it says on the box I I don’t think the manufacturer would endorse this but I think these would sell well amongst gang leaders I mean the next time I get into a bare-knuckle fistfight I’m taking these and when the guys down I’m gonna walk all over them with them not endorsed by the manufacturer though only endorsed by rhett and Link thanks for joining us today your source for medieval torture devices in the form of Internet Ament really we’re the medieval torture device of the internet that’s what that he never want to because I’m negative that’s a negative thing right I went to the medieval torture museum in Prague Czech Republic really in the year 1999 what why why I’m fascinated with the torture not like I like to do it or anything I’m just saying I’m saying I’m fascinated with what can bring a person to a point to create a machine that can punish somewhat it’s interesting let’s talk about that let’s change the whole subject no actually it’s related torture you know staring contest keeping your eyes open not blinking in my mind if you do it long enough can be categorized as a form of self torture but there are these people this group of people in the Northern Territory of Australia that have a so you think you can stare contest they could probably work on the title of their contest a little bit I like Australians just just side note they you know they live in a deadly place that could be killed at any moment by a snake or an alligator yeah contest to torture themselves hey mate let’s not blink that definitely sounded Austria I think it’s blank blank blank I don’t know you you Australians are watching and we appreciate you so look feel free to uh dig into me about my my ribbing dig into me about the ribbing that doesn’t even make this Percy didn’t tell us some things about well would you be able to guess the world record for staring in a staring contest without looking at my notes are you guessing are you guys you already know 40 minutes 59 seconds can you believe that can you imagine opening your eyes and not blinking at all for 40 minutes I could do a 59 seconds that’s one second shy of 41 minutes yeah that’s true I’ve done the math people fergal ice or Fleming is the champion portal Fleming yeah Fergal Fleming you’ve heard of him his middle name isn’t really ice or that’s like a moniker yeah right yeah that he alias if you will right he needed 40 40 minutes 59 seconds he said after 35 minutes it felt like he was getting a tattoo on his eye which I actually looked into this it actually exists you can do that corneal corneal tattooing exists but I’m not gonna show you a picture because it’s scary and we ain’t gonna go there okay so this guy held it held his eyes open was he against another dude who like gay outfit like 29 minutes or something no he he gave up at that second and then fergal kept going so it was a staring contest you got a look in this you got to stare at somebody you just can’t stare it like nothing so it’s a staring contest the other guy gave up and then he went like a second longer well the other guy gave up and yeah yeah pretty much and if he had going one more second he could have said 41 minutes but he couldn’t why couldn’t he just say oh no stay there I want to keep staring at you to get my record I know you blinked but just stay there I think well that was the right you know it’s because he because it felt like he was getting a tattoo on his eye you know once he won t wins and he has a world record he didn’t want to blow him blow it out of the water I guess but he could that he could have had more of a long-term approach now I thought we could get some more information on blinking and staring contest by consulting with Vicki yeah so I went there but I was shocked to find out very little information thanks for nothing Vicki on this one except for one thing you know how on Wikipedia they’ll have pictures up there know for different things what the eye the picture for the staring contest is amazing I mean look at this thing yeah it’s like a line drawing with a dotted line going between the two guy’s eyes and then the caption underneath says line of gaze in a staring contest it’s like a Roman Caesar type guy versus like a hot Hari Krishna that got his thing cut off okay so once I was disappointed in the lack of information that Vicki had for us I decided to ask Rhett to take the liberty of coming up with some fabulously interesting facts about staring contests that aren’t actually true so false stuff that seemed to be true in order to make something more fascinating yeah so what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna tell me these amazing facts which are false about steering yep in contest or whatever you want it to be that it could have been on wiki and then I’m gonna respond as if I think they’re true and then you can break the news to me that you’re just making it up yeah but it’ll be fun because if these things were true it would be awesome are you with us in this we’re gonna call this totally false facts you ready the obscure an isolated Amazon tribe to watch you which you walk a coup Kenobi tribe I have a herd of them settles territorial disputes with staring contest unto the death the current tribe leader Paul interesting his name is Paul yeah has killed 47 challengers through staring did they just die and their their corneas dry up and they just died there was no other information it just says staring into the death let me I’m just taking I’m just taking a fact as a fact and where is this tribe it’s in the Amazon they still exist I hate to break it to you I made this entire thing up it’s not true the watch you watch you walk Akoo Kenobi tribe to something that’s in my mind only what about Paul though 100% Falls I’m sorry I apologize here’s no I’m so disappointed at this point because I was really fascinated I thought about visiting that trial it is fascinating whether isolated and they might turn on you okay but if I got more true I have more false facts of the may continue in 1933 Stan Phillips of Boston Massachusetts entered the staring contest at the World’s Fair in Chicago in the finals he kept his eyes open for 97 minutes and 11 seconds so much for the world record that you told us this is actually longer Guinness wasn’t there I guess after winning the contest he attempted to close his eyes but was unable to due to the complete dehydration of his sclera he never shut his eyes again and slowly went blind he was henceforth known as that continually surprised fellow of Boston I get it I get it but he couldn’t see he went blind so he was surprised and blind and yeah well he wear a patch no he cuts open his apparently a double pat he just opened his eyes and they went dry and like a sleeping mask and slowly it went blind but the funny thing about this is is totally false I just made it up ah you got me again but not really several here’s another interesting fact that’s not true several government funded studies show a correlation between the ability to hold your pee and the ability to perform well in staring contests that makes sense I’ve actually thought that yeah for years I mean whenever I really need to go pee I find myself not blink yeah hmm and then when I actually pee I blink a whole lot and it happens at the same time in questioning and blinking peeing and blinking so this has to be true interestingly enough my experience tells me so I just made it up interesting enough yeah I just totally felt there just wasn’t a study but it’s still probably true it sounds reasonable we can do a study in 1642 king louis xiii of france requested that each of his royal servants battle him in a staring contest any servant that lost was instantly beheaded in any servant that one was allowed to give King Louie a foot massage oh it’s kind of a win-win situation for the king all of these false facts are kind of they’re kind of demented and seem to have been written by a man who who likes to go to torture museum I’m not done he was allowed three blinks the servants none he also had hideous circus freaks and beautiful scantily clad women parade behind him during the contests so the King kind of stacked the deck in his favor well he was the king yeah and this is also not true I’ve made it that up what a disappointment at this point you know I’m sensing a pattern and I also came up with the concept of this whole thing so and finally in 1867 doctorate Frederick dr. dr. dr. Frederick Frodo Berg of Germany that name sounds totally believable this guy discovered that his experimental subjects could keep their eyes open for hours at a time if they inserted their heads directly into rainbows other you’re gonna say instead of their heads up their own butts well that’s not funny is it it’s ridiculous and but I mean from magically ignored this fact here can you bring those how did he I know you know you’re making it up how did I even get how does he even get to a rainbow – every time I chase a rainbow I never get to it how did he get this it was just like a tall ladder how did he get the heads into the rainbow how many rainbows have you chased every time I see one you just chase it I go for it how’d it go baby yeah I’m going for it yeah okay so I I’m with you on this one out I’m totally enraptured and in beliefs okay well it’s not true I made it up I don’t even think it’s possible to insert your head into a rainbow and I believe that dr. Frederick Frodo burg probably sounds but if I get German guy out there that but the saying get your head out your is uh you know there’s a reason for that because that’s it possible I think you should keep your eyes closed if you’re gonna do that yeah close your eyes first all right why don’t we have a staring contest oh yeah I I spun the wheel I’m sorry I thought we were done you want to do a stand let’s put it on the wheel you want to do a staring contest instead of the end of the wheel hmm let’s talk about something on the wheel while doing a staring contest we almost had the remand okay act by a hot let’s be attacked by a hog while having a staring contest and we’re just gonna fast-forward this and we’re literally gonna fast for this so they don’t have to sit through I’m gonna go for like 40 minutes and we have to act like we’re being attacked by a hawk yeah and we’ll put a clock up there here we go going down how do you take your glasses off what it’s gonna tell us an advantage one that’ll do I didn’t hear you count start over one two three Hey hey don’t panic no panic there’s a there’s a hawk directly he skis dive-bombing he’s coming right back shoot shoot he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone my eyes are really watery hold on the Hawks coming around you don’t keep your helmet down I just blinked I’m out but let’s keep going you blaze I didn’t see it no I did not in Blakeney yeah you didn’t blink it’s a hawk it’s coming over here it’s coming down it’s on you it’s on you hawk away I’m blinking the fuck away that does this how it works I’m still going to see how long I can go okay I thought that if I squinted look at them look at how I’m crying look can you see the team I closed my eyes you don’t distract me I want to really see how long I can go did I just wink yes yep you’re out okay yeah boom Wow my spell great and I don’t care that I lost [Music]