Rhett made a fool out of himself at Target. I’m Lucy from North Carolina! Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning, people. – Today’s episode is brought to you by Smule. Smule is sponsoring a contest that is launching today. The Dope Zebra Magic – Piano Video Contest. – Dope Zebra song, that’s ours. If you download the Magic Piano app on your iPad or iPhone, you can play a magic piano. You can also download our song, Dope Zebra, an iPad… version? It’s all free. That’s all they need to know. – It’s all free. – The Magic Piano app is free, our song is free. You download that, you play it in a video. There’s no rules… well, there are some rules and they’re all in the description, but we’re not gonna bore – you with those details. – You can win Mythical Shoes by creating – your video response. Make it awesome. – Here’s how the Magic Piano works. ♪ (electronic piano music) ♪ ♪ I put on my pants! I put on my pants! I put on my pants two legs at a time ♪ ♪ time… time… time… time… time… time… time… time… ♪ – Amazing. Amazing, Link. So talented! – Thank you if you’re joining us for the first time on Good Mythical Morning because it is, after all, Bring a Friend – to Good Mythical Morning Day. – Welcome, friends. I didn’t understand the concept when Link first came up with it, but now I embrace it like I’m embracing you, virtually, as a friend. (soothingly) You’re a friend of a friend. This is a little awkward hug ’cause you’re not really here, but we’re happy that you’re here and I’m using a very calm voice because– You’re trying to say if they were here, it would be less awkward? We don’t want to scare you away. If you’re new to the show, we really do not wanna– Maybe we should begin talking like this, ’cause people would feel invited. – (softly) Soothing. Welcome, friends. – Welcome, friends. You’re a friend of a friend, which means you’re our friend. Let’s all be friends. (normally) We do this every morning, 6 AM Eastern time it is released to the world. Except for the weekends. We do it every weekday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, – Thursday, Friday. – (normally) On the weekend you’re on your own, people. I mean, come up with some other form of entertainment. You know? I really appreciate it. Everybody’s writing on our Facebook wall and tweeting us and writing on the comments, “Saturday comes around and I go and I’m waiting for Good Mythical Morning and it’s not there and I’m disappointed and surprised all at the same time.” That’s a good thing. Hopefully you’re becoming – hooked on the show. – I actually have an idea for another show we could do Saturday mornings, but I haven’t talked to you about it. – Okay, well let’s– – So let’s just table that. – Let’s keep that private. – Let’s not tell you about that. We don’t need to discuss that with our friends yet. We’re still in an adjustment period, here. You know? Everything’s constantly changing. Even this show can be morphing depending on how it goes and what you guys say. Even living here is… I feel like we’re still in a transition period. Most of you probably already know we grew up in North Carolina, and we were there pretty much our entire lives. And then almost a year ago, about 11 months ago, – we made the move to the West Coast. – I can’t believe it’s already been almost – a year. – It has been. Definitely once you get past a year you can’t say, “I just moved here.” I find myself talking to people like, “Oh I’m new here.” But not anymore. You’re about to be an official… – Los Angeles-ite? – I think they call ’em Angelinos. – Oh. A Los Angelino? – Which is also my middle name, – believe it or not. – I thought James was your middle name. – Don’t believe it ’cause it’s not true. – James is his middle name and his son – is seven foot three inches tall. – That’s sarcasm, people. You know, I said that in a show the other day, and people were commenting left and right: “How is your son seven foot three? How’s your son seven foot three?” He’s seven years old, people. If my son was seven foot three at age seven, then my whole live would revolve around my son being the tallest person in the world, or soon to be the tallest person in the world. He’s not seven foot three! It was a joke! It was sarcasm. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get upset with you (quietly) because you’re a friend. I’m sorry, I should talk calm. One of the things that I have to struggle with in terms of this transition to being – a Los Angeles-ite? – (normally) Angelino. – Angelino? – That sounds like a parasite. That’s like someone who shouldn’t be here who’s sucking the life out of the city. – Well, I may very well be. – An Angeles-ite. I’m driving down the freeway, which– You know, they say (silly voice) the biggest transition is the traffic. You know? There’s so much more traffic here. (normally) You look in your side mirror, and all of a sudden– not in a lane, but in between two lanes– is a motorcycle coming! – (engine noise) – It’s legal for motorcycles to drive – in between lanes on the lane marker. – And it scares me every time. – I know. I wanna swerve into people. – You want to swerve into people? I wanna swerve into people to let the motorcycle go by. – I thought you wanted to kill an Angelino. – No, no, no! I care for these – motorcyclists. I care for them. – One of the biggest transitions for me is… you know, when you’re in the South, you go into the Walmart or the Target… – The Super Target, Super Walmart? – Yeah. You go in there and the place is so big, you can’t see the other side of the place. it’s so big you’re like, “When does this Walmart end? I think this Walmart goes all the way to Benson!” You know? It’s so big, you can’t even see the other side. And then the parking lot! The parking spaces in North Carolina, you can park seven… duallys in a parking space in North Carolina. That’s a truck with four wheels on the back, people. (laughs) You can fit four duallys inside a parking space in North Carolina. But in California, you can barely get a Scion xB fit into one of these things. – You’ve got a van! – I have to pull up in front of a space, let my family out, and then pull into the space. – Yeah, yeah. – And my van doors don’t open out, they open sideways. And I still have to do that. Right, and you still– you kinda squeeze out. There’s so many people out here and so little space that the parking spaces are small, and then– First time we got here, I was like, we’ve gotta get some stuff. You know, my wife and I go to the Target and we’re like, we gotta get the goods, the broom and all the stuff that you need when you move into a new place. The broom, you know? – Gotta get that broom right away. – If you don’t have the broom, dust – really starts piling up. – I must have the broom! – It’ll take you over very easily. – Food can wait! I must have broom! And you’re looking for these little things that bring a sense of familiarity, you know? You’re like, “Oh, there’s a Target. I know what a Target is. I’ve been – to a Target. Oh, it’s a Super Target.” – Yeah. You go into the Super Target… I go in there and I’m expecting to see seven thousand football fields’ worth of Targetness. – Yeah. – And I go in there and I get ready to look out across the expanse, and like forty feet from me is the opposite wall. – Oh, what a disappointment. – I’m like, this is not a Super Target! – What, what? – This is a Stumpy Target. This is like the Roses. You remember Roses? This is like Roses or Sky City if you’re from our area and you know about that. – A dinky department store. – And then I look and I see, oh, this Target doesn’t go out. This Target goes up. It’s got escalators in the middle. Boom, boom. – Escalators in the Target. – Three levels. You may think, “Wow, these hicks are amazed by anything! Escalators in a – Target?” – (laughs) But it was phenomenal! And so, then I noticed, not only are there escalators in – the Target… – Good Mythical Morning: – These Hicks Are Amazed by Anything! – (laughs) – Hit the nail on the head. – Not only were there escalators, but I saw people going up on one escalator and then next to them was their cart full of stuff on another escalator. Like it’s an escalator cart. Cart escalator! (Link) Yeah, I got some iPhone footage last time I went to the Super Dinky Multilevel Target, so you can see what we’re talking about. (Rhett) So I go up to level three and I’m just throwing every broom they’ve got, I put it in there. I’m loading up with everything– – Brooms! – that you need. Extra brooms, mops, you know… cleaners of different sorts. Food. – The little rug that hugs the toilet. – Didn’t get one of those. I love those. It’s like a little rug that hugs the toilet. Or the carpeted thing that goes over the toilet seat that all grandmas have? – Oh, yeah. – They don’t sell those at Super Target, at least not out here. I like… remember grandmas used to have toilet seats. – My grandma had a toilet seat– – Well I have a toilet seat. – No no no, that was soft like cloth. – Yeah, it was plastic with cushioning – in it. – Yeah, but it’s like… it absorbs stuff! – It doesn’t seem sanitary. – So what did you– what happened? So I fill up the cart with everything and then I’m like, “Jessie?” That’s my wife. “I’m gonna use this cart escalator to go back down.” She’s like, “Are you sure about that?” Like, she’s right there with me. ‘Cause there are elevators next to it and you could get your cart in there. She’s questioning whether or not us being out there for the first time, we should actually try to do this. ‘Cause the cart had a lot of stuff in it. And… Well, there’s a bar around it and at the top it says “No Children.” I didn’t put the kids in it, if that’s what you’re trying to say. The kids went – down the escalator with me. – To me, I’m thinking as long as everything will fit underneath those bars, then it can go down. Well, let me just tell you what happened, because we had a lot of stuff in this cart. And she was like, “I don’t know if you should–” I was like, “Listen. I’m an Angelino now. I’m puttin’ the thing on the dadgum escalator. – That’s what it’s there for. – And I got on there and I’m going down – beside it, and ah… – (snorts) I look over and I’m like, “This thing is teetering a little bit more than I – anticipated.” – (laughs) And the next thing you know, my entire cart, like, bunny hops a little bit and… donkey kicks, maybe. You know, the back comes up just as it’s going down the hill. – And everything falls out of the cart. – The top of the hill? – It starts going (rumbling noise) – (laughs) sliding down the thing, and then a siren goes off! – (laughs) – And a light, and the whole– everything shuts down and everybody looks at me. And of course, I was hoping – there would be– – ‘Cause you were right beside the cart. Yeah, it’s like “Whose cart is that?” The tall guy right next to the cart – that everything just fell out of. – And the seven foot three child. – And a very large child. – (laughs) And there was nothing, no one else on the escalator. So, I don’t do embarrassment very well. I haven’t been embarrassed a lot in my life, okay? (claps) Oh, but you should be here. I hope you were. My face got red. I’m not kidding. My face got red and I was just like, “Oh, I’m such an idiot!” And so my wife is looking at me like, “I told you not to do that.” – So the stuff is going everywhere. – The employees come and they’re picking up brooms and another broom and everything that– all the stuff that we had, putting it back in the cart, helping me, and I’m like, “I’m sorry, I’m from North Carolina. I’ve never seen this kinda thing before.” Like a caveman – being exposed to new technology. – It’s part of the adjustment. You know, nothing really embarrassing has happened to me, because of course I never do – anything to get embarrassed. – But it actually got worse, though. – ‘Cause when I went to check out? – Oh, really? When I went to check out, and it was like $300 worth of stuff, you know, ’cause I was totally stocking up, buying every broom they had? And it was all broken, so now you had to buy it. And it was in California… my credit card didn’t work. My first credit card didn’t work, my second credit card didn’t work, and now I’m the idiot who just had all his – stuff fall out on the escalator… – You couldn’t buy any of it? – Now he can’t even buy it! – (laughs) – You had to walk out with none of it? – No, no. My debit card ended up working. – Okay, good. – But it was embarrassing on multiple levels. (laughs) Literally, ’cause it was a multiple-level Target. I get it, Rhett. I get it. You can go ahead and get that. I want you to struggle – with getting this. – What? You gotta put it on my side! – (grunts) I have a bad back! – I will quickly say an embarrassing story that happened to my wife. We go out on a picnic lunch with a couple and you guys. You and Jessie and your kids were there. My kids and their kids were there. They got a six-year-old daughter. My wife, if you haven’t met her– which you probably haven’t– she has a very pronounced Southern accent. – She does. – I’ll just leave it at that. Very cute. It’s one of the many reasons that I love her. – Hm! – But it’s getting noticed a lot out here. – Yeah. – Especially by the six-year-old who was with the other couple, and she comes up to my wife and says, “Excuse me, – are you speaking cowboy? – (laughs) Totally serious. And my wife is like, “No!” and then she laughed it off. – Are you speaking cowboy? – And then the next time we hung out – with ’em– – Only in California. The little girl was talking to your wife and was like, (drawls) puttin’ on a real – strong Southern accent? – So she would– (normally) And your wife was like, “Uh… why’re you talking like that?” And she said, (drawls) “I wanna make sure you understand me.” (laughs) Speaking cowboy! Share in the comments your moving experiences, transition experience… We went a little long today, but hopefully it was worth your while. Hypnotist Link. Hypnotist… Link. (deeply) You are get– (normally) Lemme use your iPhone, because I don’t really – have anything to dangle. – Oh, that is very hypnotizing. (deeply, over soft music) Look at the iPhone. You are getting very sleepy, especially if you are a friend that’s been brought for the first time. You will come back tomorrow and every subsequent weekday morning at 6 AM Eastern time to watch more Good… Mythical… Morning. You’re also going out. And you, every time you go to a Target, will continue to overload your cart and make a total, complete idiot out of yourself. The activation word… (laughs) is… – Broom. – Broom. (laughs) Okay. He picked it himself. (snaps twice) Broom! [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]