Today, we ask the age old question. – Will It Shorts? – Let’s talk about that. (wondrous folk music) – Good Mythical Summer. – We are about to see if common household items can be turned into an uncommon pair of shorts, but first, this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by Intuit QuickBooks. – QuickBooks Online is an essential tool for starting, running, and growing a successful business. – We actually use QuickBooks here at Mythical. – Yes. – With QuickBooks, you can manage your business cash flow, easily pay bills, and even send invoices electronically to get paid fast. – Speaking of invoices, explain this $500 invoice you sent me for compassionate listening. – I’d rather not, but it is seven days past due. – Yeah, but what’s it for? – Well, you remember that time that you were in the DMV line for three hours and then you spent two hours telling me about it? – But all you did was listen. – Compassionately. With QuickBooks, you can stay organized all year round and make informed business decisions with easy-to-understand dashboards and reports. – And come tax time, you’ll be ready with QuickBooks automated receipt and expense categorization. – And if you’re a small business like Link’s Listening LLC, it’s important to know how to manage your books, especially in today’s economy. So visit Quickbooks.com to learn more. – Thanks again to Intuit QuickBooks for sponsoring this portion of today’s episode. – And I am excited about today’s episode because it could really help me with a real-world wardrobe problem. I mean, we’re this far into summer and I still only have two pairs of shorts in my closet that I’m kind of happy to wear. – Good shorts are tough to find. – I know. – So let’s invent some instead. It’s time for– – [Rhett And Link] Will It Shorts? – You know, the worst thing about shorts is that once you sit down, you don’t go anywhere. So we wanted to develop shorts that solved that problem and made you more mobile. Rhett, come on out and model, for the very first time ever, cargo shorts. Yes. Look at you, Rhett. As you can see, Jessie has put all the little cars, die-cast cars. – [Rhett] Little cars. – All over your shorts. Matter of fact, that’s what your shorts are. – I know I’m making this look easy, but these shorts are heavy, let me tell you! – Oh, yeah? – I could barely get ’em on. – What, speak up, I can’t hear. – Whoa, I put so much effort into getting these shorts on, it increased the decibel level of my voice. But how do they look? What about that one? – [Link] They look very colorful. – [Rhett] See that one? – [Link] And then give them, show the backside. – [Rhett] The backside, they’re turned the other way. – That’s right. So what we’re hoping for is that if you sit down and you took a, that you can get a little, you could do a little scoot action. You’re not able to? – There’s not a lot of mobility in this area that needs to typically move when you’re… See, so let me just kind of lean back on you and just kind slowly. – Oh, good gosh! – And just slowly go. – Oh my god, oh god. Oh my gosh. Wait, and now what? – Push. Oh god. – [Male Speaker] Pull! – Pull, yeah, yeah. – Oh yeah, there you go, pull. (laughing) Push. – Oh yeah, okay. – Pull. – Push, push, push, push. Pull. – Oh, oh, you all right? – Drag, push, push, push, push! – I got you, I got you. – Push, push, push, push! That way, go that way. Go that way. – You okay? – Push! Push that way. I point in the direction I want to go. That way. I still wanna go, yeah, push on my head. Push on my head. (Link groaning) I got a strong neck, push! (Link groaning) Now, pull. – By the chin? – No, the arms. (Rhett groaning) Okay, okay, okay. Well, that was a lot of fun. Let me see if I can get up. – Man, that’s about as hard as shoeing a horse. – Grab, grab, grab. (people laughing) Well. (people applauding) – Toy cars. – Will It Shorts? – I mean, you tell me. I actually don’t know the answer. – Well, I gotta say, not quite as easy as a typical shorts experience. – No, uh-uh. You were not as mobile as we had hoped. So let’s say toy cars, Will It Shorts? – [Rhett And Link] No. – So movie theaters do not let you bring in your own snacks, but what if you’re wearing your snack? What you gonna do about that, movie theaters? We present to you the eat my shorts shorts. Link, show ’em what you’re working with. – Well, hello there. I got me some red licorice shorts here. Oh no, these are just shorts. These are just normal shorts that I like to wear while movie going. – What’s the mobility factor? – [Link] Pretty nice, right? – [Rhett And Link] Yeah. – There’s a chain mail type thing happening here. – Yeah, how do you feel about the breeze? – I’ve put some red underwear underneath, but I think underwear is pretty crucial. – Yeah, these are breathable, very breathable. – [Link] Yeah, you could see all types of stuff. – Well, you know what? – But they’re really, yeah, they’re really fun feeling. – It’s a nice fit. I would say this is a cool fit you have. – I like that. Yeah, it’s just above the knee, strikes just above the cap. – Yeah, so it’s modest. – I don’t think anybody at a theater would think twice about letting me in. – Oh, there’s just a cool guy with red shorts. – That’s me, man. – Now, but really, the question is, these shorts are made so that you can eat your shorts while watching a movie. So take a seat down here and let’s recreate that experience. – All right. Now, Jessie, how long did it take to weave these things, because they’re individually woven together. – Yeah, I needed to hire a team of– – Team of mules? – Yup, (laughing) to help me do that over the course of a full month. And some of them are still working on multiple pairs ’cause we thought this would just be really successful. – You’re manufacturing? – [Jessie] Yeah, we’re starting a business. – There a cooling effect to it. – Yeah, they make you a lot cooler. – Now, I don’t want to manspread too much. I’m gonna try to see if I could do a– – Just do what you would normally do in a theater. You sit cross-legged in a theater? – Kind of has a skirt effect. – Is that what you do? – Nah, I pretty much just spread. – Oh, (shushing) the movie’s starting. – Okay. It’s just the previews. – Just the preview. That’s when I’m really– – You hungry? – That’s when I like to, I love to eat during the previews. – See, I’m just gonna, I’m gonna try to snack on my myself. (Link groaning) – Well, I mean. – You know how difficult this is. – Is it possible to just? – Yeah, you could use your hands, I guess. Oh! – Where’s one I? Is there a loose one in there? – Woo! – Hey! – Here’s one. – Nobody will think anything when you’re reaching over in your buddy’s lap. – Just doing little crotch pull. – Pulling something out of his fly and then snacking on it. You know what’s occurring to me, which seems obvious now that we’re doing this. The more you get, the less shorts that you have. – Well, sometimes when I go to a theater, because I’m such a big guy with big hair, I’ll get down like this and I’ll watch a movie from down here. – Oh, that’s a convenient spot. – And then you can be like kind of sly. – Just kinda lean over. I may not even notice that you’re eating my shorts. I’m so enthralled in the movie. There you go. – You put lotion on these thighs? – Thigh lotion? – I was tasting something other than red licorice. – No, I think the problem is you go into the theater with shorts and you come out in nothing but underwear. – I’m getting caught. Oh, you’re gonna pull my tooth out ’cause I’m getting caught. – [Jessie] Built in floss. – That’s pretty tasty. – Now, I think this will work better as more of like a– – Just two guys at the theater. – Like a dance, like a dance pants. – I gotta say– – Can I get a bra version of this? – [Jessie] I’ll work on it. – I’ll say that I think maybe, you could have just put some red licorice in a pocket maybe. – Yep. As beautiful as these things are, it’s an exposure lawsuit waiting to happen. – [Rhett] Licorice, Will It Shorts? – [Rhett And Link] No. – A sweaty crack is a genuine summertime threat. – But what if there’s a way to not only look fresh, but also smell fresh? – [Rhett And Link] Introducing Daisy Dukes! (people laughing) – Yep, we got some daisy diapers basically. – I feel so free. – I feel so fresh. – I just feel like I can pivot. Grab a pivot, grab a pivot foot. – Oh, I don’t wanna pivot too fast. – Let’s go, we’ll pivot all the way around. One, two, three. And we pivot back. So, athletic wear, they’re athletic wear. – You think we’re like playing basketball in these things? – I mean, I feel just so free. I feel like, yeah, I feel like a late ’70s basketball player. – Hey, man. Peace, love, and– – Hold on, that’s the ’60s. – Oh. – [Rhett] Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Link] You’ve got a bee on yours. – Yeah, very life. Oh! – You guys, that’s the fly. – It’s fake. Oh, it’s the fly? – That’s the fly! – [Rhett] It’s just a fly and it’s also fake. – [Jessie] The shorts have a fly. – Oh! – Oh! – Jessie, put a fly on there! – Now, a few things to keep in mind with these. First of all, you gotta take ’em not to the dry cleaners to get clean. You gotta take ’em to the florist. – [Link] I gotta work on the tan line right here, boy. You don’t really have a tan line. It just, it’s a gradient. – Yeah, I go out in the sun and I move my shorts up and down just to kind of create a, I call it ombre. – I mean, you could play she loves me, she loves me not, but by farting. She loves me (blowing raspberry), you know? Just blast a few off starting back here. – You could do that on your own time. – Blast off some petals, man. – I feel like you look great. (Link vocalizing) How do you feel? – Well, you look like you’re wearing a flower diaper. – Well, so do you, I mean. – I’m glad we tucked our shirts into it. (Rhett laughing) I mean, this kinda works, right? Let’s just be real. I mean, it’s all about the look on your face. – Yeah. Listen, if I just walked into a business meeting. Sorry, I’m late. – Sorry, I’m late as well. We were putting on our daisy dukes. – Sorry we’re late. – We’re here for business. – All right. Go ahead and get it started with the presentation. – So, I’m feeling pretty good about this. I mean, this is like a gateway shorts to Speedos. – Uh-huh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I definitely feel better about these than anything we’ve tried on so far. – Right. Even though there is an abrasion happening on my– – Yeah, where it touches– – My cheeks. – Anywhere it touches raw skin, yeah. – Yeah. – But I think I could get used to that. You could build up some blisters. This one’s pretty clear in my book. Daisies, Will It Shorts? – [Rhett And Link] Yes. – Music is a must for any summertime party. Take it from me, a guy whose best friend is seriously considering becoming a DJ. And what if you could take the music with you to the party? Introducing the Windy Willies. Link? (chimes chiming) – I’m sorry, what was that? I’m sorry, what was that? I cannot hear you over my shorts. – What key are you in? – [Link] Is this more of a skirt? – Does it, okay, well, you tell me, does it connect in the taint ’cause shorts have to have taint coverage. – Jessie, I don’t think we have enough chime, chime just dangling right between the legs, right? Is it a skirt? – It’s a skirt. – Yeah. – It’s a skirt! – All right. – It’s not shorts! – Come on, Jessie. Don’t skimp on us in that area. – Hold on, hold on, hold on. I think I can make ’em into shorts. Do you mind? – [Link] I don’t know what you’re gonna do. – [Jessie] Nice. – Put your legs together. Shorts. – Okay, all right. – They’re shorts now, okay? So technically, we’re in shorts territory, but you gotta– – You can create your own wind, or you can just, you can just experience the blow. (Rhett blowing) (people laughing) (Rhett blowing) (scant chiming) No? – I need more wind. – Up the game. Oh my goodness. – Oh, they’re skirts! – My chime just dropped. – But you know, the spirit of shorts are intact. – Here we go. (blowing whirring) (chimes chiming) Cut it! All right, so these look nice. – Yep, they do. – I feel like I’m in high fashion territory. – You are. Whoa. – That kind of thing, you know? So that’s a check mark. – And I think if you can, I think we could secure that one chime in the right place, the taint chime. If we get to get that secured, then I definitely think they’re technically shorts. – That’s two checks. – Two checks. – And they sound fabulous. – They sound great. – And, you know, it’s really easy to have a conversation. – It is. – While like, if you’re like walking with your girlfriend. Hey girl, have you seen the latest episode– – What?! – That doesn’t work, so that’s an (vocalizing) on that one. – But we got two out of three, so I think wind chimes, Will It Shorts? – [Rhett And Link] Yes! (blower whirring) (chimes chiming) – And also, will it skirt?! Definitely yes! Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell! – You know what time it is! – Hey, it’s Danika, and I’m living in Coos Bay, Oregon, eating grass in my bathtub. It’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Whatever floats your boat. Click the top link to watch us guess which short thing is shorter in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] To get the GMM Woven Blanket, join 3rd Degree quarterly or annual by September 30th. MythicalSociety.com for details.