GMM 2247: We Tried EVERY Hot Pocket Flavor

What’s the absolute best ♪ Hot Pocket ♪ ♪ Let’s talk about that ♪ (upbeat theme music) – Good mythical morning! – You may remember that in our microwave versus oven snack taste test in 2019, oh, you remember, we had the absolute displeasure of eating the chicken, broccoli, and cheddar Hot Pocket, which we thought was the absolutely worst Hot Pocket of all time. You know what? (chuckles) They must have heard because that flavor has since been discontinued. – Justice! You may also remember that Mythical Chef Josh’s favorite flavor was that flavor. – Oh. – Ever since then, our interactions with him have remained strictly professional. – Right, we are no longer friends. But this is Gut Check after all, so today, we’re tasked with donkey lipping every single flavor of Hot Pocket to determine the other side of that coin. Which one is the freaking best? It’s time for Gut Check, Hot Pockets edition. We’ve got all 17 cold on the edges, scalding in the middle pockets of perfection to feast on. And after we try each flavor, we’re gonna give it a score of one to 100 based on our gut reactions. – Yep. – And then determine the most likely to be hottest pocket. – Um, I have a new scoring– – I see that. It’s big. – Aid. Hawt Pocket scoring wheel. – [Rhett] They keep getting more advanced. – It goes all the way from 10 to 100, and I can even interpolate between numbers based on what my face tells me. – Very advanced. – Yes. Thank you, guys, for all the help. Let’s do it. – [Stevie] You ready to get your pocket on? – I’m hungry. – Yeah, I’m, (sighs) yes. I like Hot Pockets, and I am hungry. – [Stevie] Okay, so your palate cleanser once again comes in our Sip n’ Slide Mythical cup– – Look at that. – [Stevie] Available at mythical.com. It’s a nice cold seltzer. – A cold seltzer, yeah. – [Stevie] I was told to call your mouths moist pockets, and if they became un-moist, to advise the seltzer water. I chose not to do that, as you can– – Yeah. – [Stevie] As you can hear. – Thank you. – Moist pocket. – [Stevie] We’re gonna begin with the original Hot Pocket category, starting with chicken, bacon, ranch. – Ooh, okay. All right. – [Link] Flaky. – I like that. I really like that. – I can’t tell if I’m chewing chicken or crust at certain points. – But you’re not complaining. Boy, the ranch, it’s a nice balance of flavor. – [Link] Mm-hmm. – And the ranch has some tanginess. I’m gonna give it a solid 81. – Yeah, that’s, I was in the same area. I’m definitely gonna give it a 85. – Whoa! – It was good, man. – Okay, we’re starting off strong. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Stevie] Steak and cheddar. – Okay. – Steak and cheddar. – Okay. – I like it. – It’s good, but there is a slight– – Steak-umm quality. – A Steak-umm quality. – Mm-hmm. – And nothing against Steak-umm, great Twitter feed, but there’s just something about that fakey meat sort of taste that brings it, I would still finish it, but it’s gonna bring me down to a 61. – Well, I mean, yeah, it’s, I mean, fakey meat is part of the Hot Pocket conversation. – But that first one didn’t feel that way. The chicken tasted like chicken. – 60! – [Stevie] Pepperoni and sausage pizza. – I like all of these things. – I bet this is gonna be great. I like the taste of the sausage. I’m a sausage on a pizza man, and I know what I like, and that’s it. – And there’s some pepperoni in there too now. Oh! (crew laughs) – Good gracious. – Hey, don’t forget about the pepperoni. – I’m glad this had a lid so when it spilled the one next to it, only the one next to it spilled over, completely. – Yeah, boy. – Wow. Did it get– – I didn’t want you to forget about the pepperoni. – Did it get on your 15 yet to be sampled Hot Pockets? – Not a one. – Okay, good. – Not a one got wet. KG, are you okay? – KG, you have to get your ankles. – [Stevie] I thought you said, “Veggie, are you okay?” (crew laughs) – It’s just water that just went on your shoes. It went right to your socks. – It kinda makes me nervous now. – [Stevie] I’m gonna need a score for pepperoni and sausage pizza. – Oh, crap. – I’m gonna give it a 72. – 79. – [Stevie] Italian style meatball and mozzarella. – Oh, I didn’t know about this. – What? Ooh, that’s bangin’! (crew laughs) – How’s that make you feel? – I’m trying to figure out if I like it more than the sausage or not. – I don’t think I like it as much as the sausage one. – I don’t either, but it’s not far behind it. – But I do like it. I’m gonna give it a solid 70. – I’m gonna give it a 79. I’m liking a lot of these more than you. – I’m just trying, you know what? – But I’m keeping my scale relative to myself and not you. – I’m just doing whatever I can to get my own chart. – [Stevie] Four cheese pizza. – Oh, you want a chart. – Four cheese pizza? – [Stevie] Mm-hmm. – One cheese. Two cheese. Three cheese. – There’s a lot of cheese in there. I don’t think I’m chasing all four of ’em. – I’m not tasting the fourth cheese. – Yeah, only picking up on three cheeses. – It’s a good taste, but it’s like– – You need some meat in there. – Yeah. – I mean– – 50. – I’ll give it a 56. – [Stevie] Garlic buttery crust pepperoni pizza. – Oh me, oh my. – Buttery crust? – Whoa, the crust is noticeably different. (paper towel rips) – You didn’t just fart. You were ripping a paper towel. (crew laughs) – Eeeh. – Rip. – No, that was me. I knocked over my water. In this episode so far, I’ve knocked over for my water and I farted. (Rhett and Link laughs) I’m having a good day. (Link laughs) I really like that. I like pepperoni. It is my favorite pizza topping. And I like that buttery crust. 80. – 59. – Oh, you did not like it. – Yeah. I’m missing the sausage with my pepperoni. – [Stevie] Hickory ham and cheddar – Hickory? – Okay, a little different. – [Stevie] Hickory. – Hickory ham and cheddar. – It is a very smokey ham. – I can taste the wood that’s been smoked, and it’s the hickory wood. – But that’s not what happened. – What happened? – I’m willing to bet that this has got some liquid smoke in it, which is what they do in processed foods a lot of times to give you the feeling of smoke. – I don’t like it. – And I’m gonna go all the way to 34. – What? I was at 35! – Oh, really? – We’re on the, we’re on a wavelength here. – Wow! – What is your relationship with Hot Pockets in general? – Pretty much limited to this show. I don’t– – It’s scary. – We don’t do it at home. I mean– – It’s a treat though. – You can’t let that kind of thing into your house, you know. Once you let it into your house, you’ll just be lost in pockets all the time. (crew laughs) – [Stevie] Croissant crust hickory ham and cheddar. – Still got that hickory ham. I like that flaky crust though. – Yeah, it is an improvement, but I would say only nominal. – 42. – 38. – [Stevie] Crispy crust pepperoni pizza. – Oh, here I am again. – Crispy crust? Hmm. Hmm. Does that mean you have to like put it in a special different type of second foil thing? – I don’t believe so. I don’t know though. – I don’t believe either. I’m a Hot Pocket nihilist. – I don’t know. Something about that one didn’t come together for me as much as I thought it would, but still good enough for 61. – 25. – What? You’re getting hateful on some pepperoni, man. It hurts my feelings when you don’t like pepperoni. That’s why I knocked over the water. – Okay, I’ll give it a 45. – [Stevie] Philly steak and cheese. – Oh. – I’m intrigued. – Oh! – [Link] These are– – Unlike the cheese and the first steak one we had, this has peppers and onions in there and a really good cheese that really balances it out. That’s, whoa, that’s getting better the more I taste it! – [Link] Hmm. – 83! – I am pretty impressed with this given that other steak experience. 71, proud of it. – [Stevie] Four meat and four cheese pizza. – Pack it up, pack it in. – Oh, you know me. – What? What are you, what are you jerking away for? – You gotta go in with a big bite to get all four and all four. – Hmm. – It’s good but I feel confused a little bit. – What are the other– – ‘Cause I don’t know which meat I’m tasting. – Yeah, what are the other two meats? Is there like venison and elk in there? – Yeah, probably. And maybe a little rabbit. – Sausage, pepperoni, venison, and elk. – I wanted to like that more than I did. It kinda got lost in itself. – Yeah, I know because they really– – 59, I’m sorry. – They really built it up. 48. – [Stevie] All right, we’re gonna be moving on to the Big and Bold category. – So what are these, bigger and– – Bolder. – Bolder? – [Stevie] Yeah, they’re kinda bigger with more stuff. – More elk, more venison. – Okay, great. – [Stevie] Starting with buffalo style chicken. – Ooh, okay. – Okay, but no actual buffalo. Oh, it’s definitely bigger. – I love buffalo flavored stuff. – That’s a bold flavor. – There’s not a lot of spice in the Hot Pocket, and so, and a lot of people like spice. – I don’t think this is spicy. – But it’s a little bit spicy where they haven’t been spicy at all. I’m gonna give it a– – It’s a nice mild spice. – I’m gonna give it a solid 77. I think this is really good, and I think I’m gonna represent the spicy lovers out there. – Oh, then I’m gonna give it a 69 for the spicy lovers. – Oh, ha-ha. – [Stevie] And we’re back to chicken, bacon, ranch. – Don’t seem sad about it. – But bigger and bolder. I’m dipping my sleeves in water over here. – I think the ranch is bolder. – It is bolder. – Something about the size of the bigger– – Have you been to Boulder? Have you been to Boulder? – Nope, I haven’t. I wanna go. – Yeah, I wanna go as well. – Let’s go. – Okay. – Maybe it’s ’cause I’ve just been eating a whole bunch of pot hockets, (crew laughs) but I’m just not as excited as I was at the beginning. I guess that typically happens in a Gut Check. – And as you eat the Hot Pocket, it also happens. – Yeah. I think you’re right. (Rhett laughs) I think all of the earlier ones, they have a slight advantage. I’m gonna try to take that into account. – But I’m modulating that. I’m modulating my score because of that because that was good. – I’m gonna modulate it. – It was bold. I still think it’s, for me, it’s still in the 80s. I’m still gonna give it an 82. – I’m gonna give it an 80. – [Stevie] Doubled pepperoni pizza. – Ooh, Rhett. – Yeah, I’m excited. Whoa, look at that. Whoa. – Twice the pepperoni. Definitely bold. – Man. – It’s the best pepperoni one I’ve had here. – That’s really strong. – I’ve been hard on the pepperoni. – That’s really strong. 78, friends! – 71. – [Stevie] Steak nacho. – Oh, okay. – Really? – Get ready for this. – Man, that is a, look at the coloring of it. It’s weird. – Whoa! – It’s very orange. – Taste that. – Ooh. – That’s the most different of them all. – Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. – There’s some serious chili powder going on in there. – Definitely. If you’re a two boxer, I think you might want that one on standby just to mix things up. – Just to mix it up. 74, it’s good. – I’m gonna give it a 64 because of the Nintendo. – Right. (crew laughs) You gotta represent the Nintendo. – [Stevie] And that concludes the Big and Bold category. – Woo! – [Stevie] Now the final category is the breakfast little category. – Little and tepid? – [Stevie] With a little disclaimer– – Oh, no, breakfast. – [Stevie] That we searched high and low for weeks for the ham, egg, and cheese Hot Pocket, and our best guess is that it’s being quietly discontinued. But you know, you already claimed that you didn’t like the ham, so maybe it’s okay. – That seems like a good choice. – [Stevie] Yeah. – Hot Pocket– – [Stevie] All right. – They’re focusing on their killers. – On what they do the best. – [Stevie] We’re going to start with applewood bacon, egg, and, cheese. – Okay. – Oh, we had hickory, now we got applewood. I got weird, sorry. (crew laughs) – This is a very solid breakfast offering. – Was it, there’s no egg in that? – There is. – [Stevie] Yeah. – Where is it? – I taste it. This tastes like a classic breakfast burrito like synthesized into like one flavor almost. The applewood is better than the hickory, for sure. This could be a great way to start your day. It really could. – It’s convenient, 59. – It’s convenient, 59. That’s about (chuckles)– – Is that, you agree? – (chuckles) No. – That’s exactly what I said. – I like it more than that. I think it’s a 72. – Okay. – [Stevie] Sausage, egg, and cheese. – Now this is what you would order on a burrito, so just– – Yeah, it doesn’t look like I want it to but… – Hmm. – I think it is a breakfast sausage. It’s different than the pizza sausage. – Very specifically a breakfast sausage, which it’s too breakfast sausage for me. It’s going too far for me, but I still like it. I’m still gonna give it a 61. – I’m gonna give it a 74. – Whoa, you really like that one. – Yeah, I like the sausage. – [Stevie] And that was our shortest category because it is over, which means– – It’s over? – [Stevie] You have now tasted all of the available Hot Pockets. Your scores will now be tabulated so you may more closely judge the top four Hot Pockets. – I’m ready. – Can I go poop while we wait? – Yep. (upbeat music) Hey, if you can’t make it to MythiCon, we understand not everybody can, but we’ve got something special for you! That’s right. – Mm-hmm. – On Saturday, October 29th, we’re taking the stage to do a crazy one night only show at MythiCon. – Very special. – But we wanna make sure every Mythical Beast can be a part of it, so we’re streaming every tantalizing minute to you. – Of our show. – Yes! – Yes, our stage show streaming to you. Today, pre-sale tickets are available for all Mythical Society members, and then tickets will be available to everybody this coming Wednesday. So go to mythicontickets.com to also look, to get your streaming ticket if you can’t actually be there. What we got? – [Stevie] Okay, according to you, the top four Hot Pocket flavors, in no particular order, are pepperoni and sausage pizza. – [Link] Uh-huh. – [Stevie] Big and Bold chicken, bacon, ranch. – [Link] Mm-hmm. – [Stevie] Regular chicken, bacon, ranch. – [Link] Oh. – We like our chicken, bacon, ranch. – [Stevie] And Philly steak and cheese. And before you get to crowning the top one, the lowest ranking of all of them, of course, was the hickory ham and cheddar. – [Rhett] Not a fan. – [Link] Hickory. – Not fan of that. That hickory ain’t working. – Hickory dickory don’t. (chuckles) – Do you wanna try to figure out which one between the chicken, bacon, ranch is better? – Yeah, because if you look at the Big and Bold, well, it’s bigger. And they say that it’s a ranch-blasted crust which is why it’s not as photogenic. – And also, this one’s crispy buttery crust and it’s got some sort of greenish on it. – Oh, I tasted the greenish first. – That’s still good, man. – It’s ranchy enough. And I like those chives on there. Is it hot? – Look at that. – Is it real hot? I don’t know if I like the bigger ones, but I do, I definitely like a bold flavor. – Well, now that I’m tasting ’em side by side, I don’t know if the chicken, bacon, ranch inside is any different. – I think the smaller one is better, dude. – The smaller one’s better, agreed. So– – So we’re putting this one in the lead. – We know that that one’s better. – Now we just gotta figure out– – Pepperoni and sausage pizza. – I know you just like the pepperoni, but you like sausage too, right? – Oh, yeah. I think pepperoni and sausage on a pizza is a great combo. – That’s good stuff. – It’s really, really good. Here’s my argument against it, is it kinda gets into just a pizza roll place. – Hmm. – Which just feels like– – It’s not as unique. – You know, it’s well trodden ground. – I mean, couldn’t you say the same thing about the Philly cheese steak? – But not, there’s no such thing as like a Philly cheese, I mean– – A Philly cheese steak roll. – I’m saying that like the pizza roll has that kinda like pizza roll taste. Whoa, you’re dripping! – Ooh, that scared me. – Between the Philly cheese and the pizza, no contest, for me, the Philly cheese is way better. The Philly cheese tastes like a real Philly cheese steak. – Yeah, I, (clears throat), uh, yeah! I’m impressed with it. To me, it’s just a question of– – I think we’re gonna move pizza off. – Oh, really? Could it go in front of the, I mean, obviously, we love the chicken, bacon, ranch. – I don’t know, it’s just that– – But to double up on it? Really? – You’re right. Let’s choose one of these chicken, bacon, ranches to go so we don’t have two chicken, bacon, ranches in the top. – And we know which one that is. Big and gone. – But so I do believe that it’s better than pizza. I’m saying pizza’s number three. – [Link] Yep. – But it comes down to is it Philly cheese or chicken, bacon, ranch? – To me, it’s very obvious. I don’t need to taste anymore. – I’m just tasting for the fun of it. – Tasting for the fun of it. I predict that you’re gonna agree with me. – It’s not super, to me, it’s closer than Link’s letting on that it is. But I agree, the best Hot Pocket that you can have, the most likely to hottest pocket is the chicken, bacon, ranch! – [Link] Get ready– – Oh, uh, uh! – For your high school photoshoot. Yeah, you gots to get some of that. And it’s good for you too. – That’s the best part about it. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that, did you wanna say that? – I was gonna say guilt free. That was all I was gonna say. – [Rhett and Link] Guilt free. – And clicking that bell. – You know what time it is! – Hi, I’m Ella. – And I’m Patrick, and we’re from Birmingham, Alabama. And we’re playing Will It Hot Pocket– – With Hot Pockets. – And it’s time to spin– – [Ella and Patrick] The Wheel of Mythicality. – Did we steal their idea? – (chuckles) Maybe. – Click the top link to watch this play What’s In My Pocket in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. – [Rhett] Join Mythical Society and get your tickets today at mythicontickets.com.

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