Which bucket of food should you buy for the apocalypse? – Let’s talk about that. (cheerful music) Good Mythical Morning! – Now y’all know me, I’m always one skip away from buying a bunker in the middle of nowhere, going off the grid with my family, and prepping for the end of the world. – But what kind of say does your family have in that decision? – Well, if their unconditional love for me, a caring husband, father, and YouTube sensation isn’t enough, and it is not, then I plan on luring them into the bunker with buckets of the tastiest pre-packaged foods on the market, which is why I need your help today to figure out which ones we should be buying. – I’m here for it! – It’s time for “Disasters are OK if You Like Eating From a Bucket. Which Survival Food Tastes Best and Which One Can Suck It?” – Survivalist buckets, some people call ’em emergency food kits. – Not me. – They’re a big business. They used to only be popular amongst doomsday prepper types, which you aspire to be. – I’m not really, yeah, I just kinda like the idea. – Now they’re a lot more commonplace, you can see ’em on the racks of Costco, and the shelves of Walmarts all over the place, and this stuff supposedly lasts for decades, but, does it taste good? – Probably not, but which one tastes best, I guess is the real question. Today we’re comparing three of the top brands, and the winning bucket brand will be named Bunker Food Brian. – Nice. All right, let’s bring in the buckets, let’s give you a little show here. I was just now told that we spent $2000. – Yeah. – Just on bunker food. – So everybody gets to go home today with food that’ll last 25 years! – No, no, we need to keep it here. Nope! You can’t have it. – Sorry, sorry, sorry, we take it back. – It stays here, because… – ‘Cause the end of the world might happen when we’re at work. – And we’re gonna keep working. – That’s true. You can clap for that, you’ll get it eventually. – Made it through the pandemic making episodes, we can make it through the apocalypse. – Okay, so, this is the 4Patriots brand. This is one of two buckets that comes for their three month supply of food for $697. You gotta get the eggs separately, for $60. But basically, this is a little unique, I mean in the fact that it comes in what is like a Rubbermaid container that can be stacked really easily and used for other things, so. – It is full. So these are more classic buckets, I think there’s like six of this one for $700, and then this one’s a lot cheaper, but you get a lot less, you don’t get a three month supply. You gotta add water to all these, and if… But today, because you may be running low on water in the apocalypse, we’re gonna use urine. – Okay. That’s right. Yep. (rock music) All right, speaking of preppers, who prepped this food, anyway? – Hey, brothers, it’s your friendly neighborhood doomsday prepper, Ezekiel Jeremiah Elijah Malahchee the Third. And don’t you worry, the government may be watching us poo, but they’ll never take our buckets. On that note, here’s some scramble eggs. All right. – Your last name is Malahchee? – He said Malahchee, I think he meant Malachi. But you know what? – Hey, man, don’t tell me how to pronounce my own name. Bye! – I love Mr. Malahchee. – Mr. Malahchee. – Mr. Malahchee. – You know, it’s like, it’s hard to know how to pronounce those biblical names anyway. – Malahchee. “I’ve been saying Malahchee, the prophet Malahchee for years.” Okay, this over here, Link, this is the 4Patriots. – These are… This looks like Rice-A-Roni, dude. – This is what it looks like in the package. – Is this eggs? – I’ll do this for us. – What the crap? – So we don’t get too confused. – [Link] Oh my gosh. – This is supposed to be eggs. (crew laughs) – Oh my gosh. – Don’t think about breakfast, think about almost dying. Like don’t, you know what I’m saying? I’m trying to put myself into like, “This is the only thing I get to eat today.” – This is the only thing I have eaten today, and I thought it would make it taste better. Oh my gosh. – That’s… That’s pretty bad, I guess I’m not a patriot. – I mean, it tastes like a seat cushion. Like the stuffing of a seat cushion. – Yeah, it’s pretty awful. This is ReadyWise. – Is there actual eggs in it? – It’s gotta be, right? – Right there. – Whole eggs, first ingredient. Yeah, “Egg mix, dehydrated whole egg,” yeah, it’s eggs. – This one tastes like eggs. In the worst way possible. I mean, but it lasts 25 years. – Well, and we’re eating it on year one. And it’s still this bad. – Trevor’s in the house, I heard a snort. – This is Ready Hour. Now this is up to 10 year shelf life, is what it says on these. I think maybe the eggs in general are just not as, don’t last as long. – If you didn’t tell me it was eggs, I could talk myself into like it. – I actually think that this one tastes… – It’s definitely the best. – Nothing like eggs, but the best. – Yeah. Definitely the best. – I mean, if you told me it was rice, I’d be like “Okay.” – we’re gonna put this one at the tip top, ’cause it’s definitely the best. – At least they tried to make this one taste like eggs. – Yeah. – This one doesn’t taste like eggs, but tastes like something worse, that might hurt you. – Oh my gosh. So, three points, two points, one point. We’re gonna go cumulative with this thing, okay? All right? Because we have the freedom to do that! – Oh, but you know what? We were actually, we had a little commercial for 4Patriots, because one of the things that we’re gonna do in every round is we’re gonna highlight one of these companies. – ‘Cause we’re free to do that. – Yeah, we have the freedom to do that, and the liberty. So this is a commercial for My Patriot Supply, which is the company that makes the one that just won this round. – Okay. – The Ready Hour. – [Radio] Food supplies have been completely wiped out. – That a dead deer? – This is like production! – [Radio] Evacuation of all counties. I report complete devastation. – This guy’s in a bunker. Oh. – He got all that through a radio? – What’s he doing? – [Announcer 1] There are forces in this world that remind us of how fragile we are. We thought we were safe. We thought it could never happen to us. Then life, like a fog, descends upon us. – That’s not a fog. That’s ash. – [Announcer 1] We fight the currents- – We gotta get in a canoe? Well that’s the fun part. – [Announcer 1] Not a light or star to chart the way. Safe at last. – There are no stars? – [Announcer 1] We found our way home. (emotional music) – Katie? – “My life”? “My family.” – [Both] “Our survival.” – “My Patriot Supply.” Tell me you didn’t vote for Biden without telling me you didn’t vote for Biden. (crew laughs) (Link chuckles) – I mean, is this a trailer for like a post-apocalyptic movie? – I don’t know, man, but it didn’t make me hungry. But I will say one thing, y’all won this round, you got the best eggs, and you really did put a lot of effort in that, and we understand that that’s not the full commercial, that was just our cut-down because this apparently is a bit of a short film. – Can’t wait to watch it all. (rock music) – Where’s old Mr. Malachee? Malahchee? – Listen, I know y’all were making fun of my name earlier. There is a Malahchee in the Bible. He’s the patron saint of jet skis, and he died when his stepkid shot him in the face with a bottle rocket, all right, my compatriots! It’s days like these I remember my grandpappy’s advice, “Never turn on the TV unless you want your insides probed by aliens.” Here’s some chili, haha! – Oh, gosh. – Thank you, Mr. Malahchee. – Now, my experience with just getting dehydrated food for camping situations is that the chili is often pretty good, way better than the eggs, okay? – Aztec chili with mango, perhaps? – This looks, I mean, if you made this chili for me, I would think you’d done me a favor. – Not bad at all. – The beans are definitely harder. – Yeah. Spicy. – Than normal. Flavor profile is good. – And when you get the toots, how do you use those? ‘Cause everything that happens to your body, you need to use it in the apocalypse. – I think in your bunker, you’ve got a little thing that every time you toot, it turns a wheel and makes a light bulb come on. – Yeah. Fart light. – Fart light. FartLight.com. – All right. Well, you won’t have the internet, Rhett, you gotta get it now. FartLight.com. They sell ’em in buckets. – Now, before we eat this one- – They also sell a fart bucket. – Before we eat this one from ReadyWise… – Like how you touched my hand. – You were going in, I could tell. ReadyWise is actually the most popular of the three brands, okay? I think they’ve got a slightly different take on their ad approach. Let’s watch a commercial from them. – Om nom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nom. This ReadyWise food sure is good. – What are you up to, Abe? – Well fourscore and seven years ago, I came across this place called ReadyWise, dedicated to the cause of helping families get prepared. – Well let me try one, then, Abe! Om nom nom nom. Mm. Happiness and ReadyWise are inseparably connected. – [Both Presidents] Yum yum yum yum yum. (presidents laugh) – [Announcer 2] Shop our Presidents’ Day sale and save up to 50%. – [George] Delicious. – Now, surprisingly, the budget for those two commercials was the same. (crew laughs) You know, the animation on that was very very precise. – The voices kinda sounded like something maybe we coulda done. But they didn’t call us. Wow, look at how I’ve got some noodle suspended underneath my spoon. Wow. Gravity. Keeps you guessing in the apocalypse. – The consistency of the pasta is unchanged from what you would expect in regular pasta. – Doesn’t taste as good as the first one. – It’s not as good of a taste. – There’s no beans in it, either, is there? – And I almost feel like I’m getting some filler, because I’ve got the pasta, whereas this I’m getting more just meat and beans. – Yeah, and now Ready Hour, the winner of the last round, it’s the same as what we just had. There’s no beans, and you got the macaroni pasta. – But less of everything else. – Taste is horrible. – That is genuinely awful. – It’s amazing that it went to the worst, didn’t it? It is the worst one. – Wow, that’s bad. I actually, I mean I think I know which one’s better, but, I kinda wanna come back in here. – Yeah, because it has beans, of course you’re gonna vote for that to be the first one. – Man. – I agree with that. – That’s a tasty dish. – So, now we’re basically, we’re saying you gotta buy two different buckets. – Well we’re not saying anything, man. – You’re up to like $1400 now. – We’re letting them speak for themselves. (rock music) – Now I know you snowflakes are like me, and you’re worried that Italian restaurants are putting microchips in your pasta fasul. Well you don’t gotta worry about that with this bucket food! Try this microchip-free pasta Alfredo! Heh heh, yeah. Hey, fun fact about these covers, if you turn ’em upside down, they make a great turlet! Seeya! – “Turlet.” (laughs) Okay, we’re starting over here. – This one is juicy. – Little less glamorous. But this is our 4Patriots. – It’s Frank’s. – 4Patriots. – [Link] Doesn’t it say “Frank’s” on there? – I guess Frank is maybe associated with them? – Mm. That’s… Not great, but not horrible. Harrible. – In a desperate situation. – Yeah, I mean, it’s… The only thing that beat it was the chili from the last round. – It wasn’t that great. – Ooh. This is better. Turns out the first one did mess it up. Weird, but better. – Hold on. It’s stronger. – As a flavor. You wanna experience flavor. – You gotta eat this whole thing to get sustained. – Well, I kinda like the flavor, it kinda… – It tastes a little bit rancid. – Yeah, but at least I know I’m still alive. – I don’t know, man. I gotta go back to those. – I’m having trouble… – Bland. But not bad, just bland. Just, it kinda tastes like… – I might put that third. Let’s go back to the first one. I know the middle one is kinda puzzling, but you need to eat things that have weird flavors so you have something to talk about. (crew chuckles) That’s bad. That’s the worst. – The weird thing is, I don’t think any of them are good. Dude, that’s getting worse. I can’t believe you like that. Like, it tastes like blue cheese, but a bad blue cheese. – You like blue cheese. – That’s what’s so weird, you hate blue cheese. If we recommend this as the best, people will hate us. I’m just telling you, like… – We can put it at number two, but then we have to put this one at number one. The bland. Just add some salt. – If you put salt and pepper on this… – Where are you gonna get that? You’re gonna have to scrape rocks together. – That’s the easiest thing to find. I think that Ready Hour, because they didn’t try too hard… – Plus this ranking allows us to not reorder anything. Isn’t that refreshing? – Okay. I think both of those are horrible, and the first one just tastes like nothing. (rock music) – Back in high school, we went to the prom, and we took pictures in front of my date’s house, and we did this pose. And now, every time we go on the red carpet, we do the same pose. And now, we have a vinyl figurine that you can get as a third degree member of the Mythical Society. “Rhett and Link: From Prom to the Red Carpet.” It’s nice, it’s fancy. – You gotta join third degree quarterly or annual by December 31st. MythicalSociety.com for details, and this thing will last beyond the end of the world. We made sure. – Yup. Yup. – Merry Christmas, boys! I got you these brainwave protectors! Careful, though, if you wear ’em out in the sun too long, they’ll literally fry your brain. I speak from experience, all right. Up next, we got some soups and stews for ya. – Soups and stews category. – And there’s little bits of the Constitution ground up in every one. You can really taste the amendments! (crew laughs) – These are all different, but we can choose our favorite. Maybe we’ll… – [Rhett] This is our 4Patriots tasting first. This is called fireside stew. – Not bad to me. Again, it’s not anything to like, gather the family around in a non-apocalyptic time and eat, but… – Right, but it’s not off-putting. This is… – You have to buy the pudding separate. – Hearty tortilla soup. – It’s not as good as the chili, but it’s… – It’s actually not bad, like, it smelled weird when they set it down. – I think I like the first one better, ’cause this is a little gelatinous. – And then now from Ready Hour, oh, actually, you know what? Ready Hour, who is owned by My Patriot Supply, they’ve been producing even more content than that short film. – Oh, really? – Yeah, let’s watch some more. – Frank Belcastro from Independence, USA, for MyPatriotSupply.com. If you’re like me, you’re a self-reliant patriot who believes in being prepared. And there’s only one place I go for my 100% non-GMO heirloom seeds, MyPatriotSupply.com. For just 37.95, plant your own survival garden to protect against rising food prices, economic collapse, even for barter. My Patriot Supply also has emergency food storage, water filtration products, survival gear and more. MyPatriotSupply.com. Tell ’em Frank sent ya. (crew laughs) – There’s Frank. That’s Frank. – He’s so enthusiastic, it makes me wanna get some heirlooms. – And I really like his style. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. “What are you gonna wear for the commercial, Frank?” “Tee shirt and jeans.” – “This!” – Okay. This is home style potato soup. – The potatoes. The potatoes are wrong. What’s wrong with the potatoes? Oh, gosh. – It’s hard to do a starch. Flavor-wise, it’s not that bad. – I mean, just ask Frank. The potatoes are like, it’s like eating little starchy balls. – Man, this is just like… – Doesn’t taste bad. – This is like going to like a preschool soccer game, right? Nobody wins. – Nope. – Like, they just follow each other around the ball the whole time. – There are no winners. You know what? I think I might put that minestrone stew thingy at number one. I think this goes to number three. The potato soup just is hurting. – I feel like they’re all equally mediocre, so if you have a way of organizing these that makes sense to you, I’m not gonna argue with you. – Let’s tie these for number two. Nothing gets three points, except for our merchandise. – Oh, that’s smart. That’s smart. – Two points twice, one point for the potato soup. (rock music) I bet Jim Bakker’s watching this, mad that he’s not getting a shout-out. – Oh. Sorry, Jim. – At the end of a long day training mice to be soldiers, I like to curl up in my bunker with a good book, and a nice glob of dessert. Pudding, to be exact. – Oh, remember that pudding joke I made? – Yeah, here it is. – Everything’s off-putting, but this is all pudding. – And yeah, we’re on pudding. We’re on pudding. – That’s not exactly what I said, but that was better. Okay. So we’ve got some light pudding, we got some darker pudding, and then this I guess is rice pudding. – It’s rice pudding. So, this is Grammy’s old fashioned cook and serve vanilla pudding. Now you’re the pudding man, so I’m gonna defer to you unless I feel real strongly about this. That kinda just tastes like regular pudding. – That’s all right, yeah. – I mean, you taste anything different? – Nope. And if it could last 25 years, that’s a nice comfort to know that there’s always gonna be pudding waiting for me. – [Rhett] Now this doesn’t look as good. – Uh-uh. – And it does not taste as good. – Mm-mm. Ugh, eh! There’s some, eh! – It was kinda like… – What is that? Some sort of chemical. – They overflavored it with what feels like a fake vanilla. – And then some waxiness. That has to go last. I bet this is better. And it’s more filling, ’cause you got the rice. – Almost like it’s unfair to compare… – It is. – This to pudding. – It’s great, but, it’s not, yeah. – It’s not what you’re expecting when you get pudding. – I really want to be comforted by some real pudding, so we gotta put that at number one. – It is the best. – And then throw that one down there. – And this is just weird, down here. It’s just a weird, something weird happened. – Whoop. Whoop! What’s happening? What’s happening? Oh! What’s still happening? No! Ah, okay. Just stay there. – Okay, here are the results. Wow, this is close. We actually have a tie, with 10 points, both 4Patriots and Ready Hour, My Patriot Supply, have 10 points. They’re tied for the win. And ReadyWise has nine points, only one point behind, so I think the bottom line is, there’s no real winner or loser here, it’s just they’re all kinda eh. – But, let’s give Ready Hour one more point for just making a really scary high production value ad. – They need to get that money back for all the money they spent on that. – So bring it in, Malahchee. – Yeah! Congratulations to the food bucket that looks like it could also be cat litter. – Yeah, you, Ready Hour, are crowned the official Bunker Food Brian. – Hey, can we wrap this up? I need to get back to my day job, head writer of Bridgerton. (Rhett laughs) (crew laughs) – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is. – Hi, my name is Cheyenne, I’m in my backyard in Georgia. I’m a third degree Mythical Society member, and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Is she walking on water? – Yep. It’s a beautiful backyard. – Click the top link to watch us rank cheese puffs in Good Mythical More. – Woop! And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. To get the Rhett and Link Youtooz collectible, join third degree quarterly or annual by December 31st. Visit MythicalSociety.com.