it’s time to conduct a taste test to see if we can survive the impending bacon apocalypse let’s talk about that good mythical morning all right there’s something different about you Lincoln I don’t know what it is I don’t have a beard anymore even though the response in the comments from you the mythical beast was overwhelmingly positive when it came to reacting to my beard I have I’m sorry I made the executive decision to clean shave the face so that I can just move places faster the friction face friction was just too much I was my problem just slowing me down well I think this show has a swimmer principle enough beard I think this show is enough beard on this side hey you might anything about trimming yours well the reason I did not trim it is because I knew that you were doing this and I thought listen man you know if we shoot man if you shave your beard and I trim my beard at the same time the beard guys will be upset with us and you might break something today we’re gonna rub some bacon okay now you read begin to rub some bacon on it if you have a problem this summer you’ve got a problem because you won’t be able to rub bacon on that problem because there’s going to be a bacon shortage now you may remember last year there was lots of talk about a bacon shortage for the summer of 2013 and I gotta have you I don’t remember it happening and you know how I like to eat bacon and I don’t remember paying them I guess I paid a little bit more for bacon I don’t know but do you know that there is a virus look out there’s a virus going through the pig farms and that virus is called in fact do you hear there’s a siren I argued that you probably can’t hear that at home but there’s a siren for emphasis it’s called the porcine epidemic diarrhea virus oh it has the word diarrhea in it the PDA I mean I don’t want to picture pigs with viruses but why put the word I mean I if they have diarrhea okay but why you got to put it in tight why you got to make me visualize that well it’s not about visualization it’s about facts the fact is the pigs are dying from diarrhea well all over the country all over the United States of America right now pigs are dying from diarrhea I mean I got bacon in front of me man that’s not appetizers gonna eat some in a second okay but it’s irresistible now is interestingly I don’t know if I just anticipate things well if I’m just in tune with the universe neither but this past weekend what’s the third option this past weekend I had an ungodly amount of bacon important I ingested all Chi and I didn’t know about this shortage was this like a New Year’s resolution in effect for you it’s just circumstantial this is how it happened so on first of all my kids still have Christmas money and we let them collectively buy things like bacon and they have made a decision to buy a waffle maker oh my my two children Locke and Shephard decided we want a waffle maker and so Jessie was like okay Saturday morning we’re gonna do waffles and she was like you need to go to the store and get bacon yeah you do and I said okay so that when you send me out to the store I see that there’s multiple types of bacon and only we’re not going to get just one we got to make this a taste test so I narrowed it down to two types of bacon two pounds one pound each and I took them back to my family and prepared all the bacon thinking that we’ll eat like half of it we ate the four of us ate the whole thing now on two pounds I know we’ve already held it up we have crazy alternative types of bacon here that’s not what you’re talking about you’re talking about alternative versions of real baked this was porcine that means from a pig okay actual real bacon and let me tell you how much incredible two pounds okay that’s like a half pound per person but I probably put down a pound myself because you really only head of the household you really ate that much yeah I didn’t stop on Saturday on Sunday we had some people over didn’t tell you about this sorry you weren’t invited up but just because we got to stay separate on the weekends every once in a while I was under the weather I smoked a pork loin a four pound pork loin and at the same time I didn’t even think about this I made jalapeno poppers my special recipe and I put one strip of bacon around each one and baked those and so then I probably had a pound of pork loin myself and then I had eight jalapeno poppers one piece of real bacon so I’ve got my bacon for the year and one cent well that’s one way to look the other way to look at it is you’re gonna be really hurting when this diarrhea thing kicks in you know you don’t get the diarrhea from the bacon I know that I’m just saying the shortage so I thought oh I thought I thought that you thought that with you man I was gonna get diary oh man I wanted to say no scientifically that’s not how it works but I mean is there gonna be no bacon at all should we really be shaking in our boots here or is it just the price is gonna go yeah I mean that you’ve taken economics before right I think I was with you and you did I live economic supply and demand so if the supply goes down the price goes up the demand goes up and then the price point is higher right so that’s what’s going to happen theoretically over the summer and I want you guys to be prepared you know I want all mythical beasts who I’m assuming many of you are bacon lover because right now everyone’s just super scared right everyone’s super scared we gotta do something we just can’t if we ended the episode right here there would be like bedlam across the mythical beast um thirty thousand piglets died at one farm I don’t get me to get morbid here that’s a lot of potential bacon that never made it on my plate that’s sad but what I’m saying is there needs to be some sort of we need to alleviate the fears I’ve got some ideas about how we can make it through now first of all the thing that you can do is you can go to an alternative source of bacon so we have here we have real real bacon we’re gonna do a little taste test to see if we’re going to be able to make and we have some alternative sources of bacon we got turkey baixa bacon turkey a distinctly different look and speaking of distinctly different look we this looks like a muppet mouth you think that looks like a muppet mouth this is veggie bacon that looks like dog bag this is for an animal this is not is it this is for a dog it has to be for a dog is it but it was given to us under the auspices of it being vegan bacon is it vegan or just veggie I think is vegan okay so not vegan and then we also have no bacon here as the fourth option okay so like right here right there we’re an excellent so yeah which way you want to do this here’s what we’re gonna eat the real bacon and then we’re gonna work down to the dog bacon yes so let’s say let’s switch this so go Turkey so here’s what we’re going to do we’re going we’re gonna eat these and we’re going to discuss the viability of the options so this is like the control group real bacon real bacon which is going to be very expensive so good in that you sure ólafur mm-hmm once you pop you can’t stop mmm but for the whole piece now I got it hearing too far well that’s not even great bacon and it’s still great okay turkey bacon as you can see there’s less fat in this because turkeys although they’re very rotund don’t have a lot of fat and is that fatter is that just different colored same stuff I’m not getting the whole piece man that’s just the chewing is overwhelming hmm it’s crispier tastes like beef jerky hmm yeah I’m waiting for the flavor and it’s not coming well no there is a flavor and it’s not a good flavor it’s negative is a negative experience okay it’s like beef jerky dog food hold on hold on home you wanna eat the fatty end I don’t think it matters it’s all the same I mean they got one let’s let my let first look hold on there I have never tried this stuff before my look if the pattern is exactly the same it matches our patterns match look at that yeah that’s suspicious let’s smell it first dog food smells just like the time I a dog that was at your house remember that as a kid they’re surprisingly I’m saying this is better than the turkey bacon that is surprising cuz it’s horri really it’s like fabric it’s got the consistency of meat fabric I think I’m just gonna pay more for real bacon hmm listen I would just if you can’t get real bacon don’t imitate it with a turkey and don’t imitate it with a vegetable just go to no bacon the only two viable options are real bacon to pay more for and no bacon and just going about your business you know what time it is I’m here at Buies Creek Elementary School in Buies Creek North Carroll on it and it’s time to spin the wheel of mythicality make sure you watch good mythical more today where I discussed my method for cooking baking which I believe controversially to be the superior method oh let’s get into that also follow us on Instagram for waffle Wednesday to go with your bacon Instagram it up oh that’s good promotion thumb wrestle for dominance of the show I think we should spice things up a little bit I think you should have to grasp a piece of bacon a piece of turkey bacon yeah you do the fakie bacon because it’s a full piece and I’ll do the turkey bacon what do you oh like this yep Oh made a little crunchy noise one two three it’s like four I declare a thumb war with the dominance of this show here we go you have to use your piece of bacon oh my bacon 103 deflection by subscription I’ve been dominance of the show the friction of the turkey bacon bad the best way to prepare bacon the most consistent way to get your bacon to the point that you enjoy isn’t