GMM 632: Our Official Apocalypse Video

The world is ending. This is our final broadcast. Lets talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ Good mythical morning. Today’s episode could be grounding, or it could be disturbing, or it could be fun. – I think it’s gonna be all of those things. – A lot of possibilities. Because people love to talk about the apocalypse and make make television shows – and movies and just converse about it. – (southern accent) Television shows. – ad nauseum. – And I like to be personally prepared for it and I do feel somewhat prepared and you are vicariously prepare because I bought – you some stuff. – That’s true. – You’re welcome. – Yeah, I do appreciate you buying things for me, I have all that water and knifery in my garage. But today we’re gonna talk about the moments when it’s all ending like literally there’s like minutes left on earth and lets imagine you being here. Now, you may remember a couple weeks back there was this news article where CNN leaked. – It was leaked that CNN had– – CNN leaked?! – (laughs) there was a dooms– – I thought I known about it all along. A leaked video from CNN that they wanted to play during doomsday. This thing leaked in– I didn’t hear about it until I started researching it now. Right but it was apparently made way back on June 1st– Right when they started on June 1st, 1980, they had this like ready to go like Ted Turner thought that it would – be a good idea to have this video that – Right. would play in case they had to sign off and there was no anchor left, everyone was dead and lets just play play this video on a loop. And no one knew that it existed, I mean since the 80’s the rumors are flying, this video tape exists. Well an intern played it and recorded the television screen and put it on YouTube and confirming that this thing did exist. And when I first heard about this I got really excited, I’m like “Ok, Ted Turner, he’s gonna be on the screen and he’s gonna be talking and it’s gonna be amazing.” – No. – Well, let’s just watch the thing. The Turner doomsday video as posted on YouTube. – ♪ (Nearer My God To Thee) ♪ – Now they’re just gonna play this thing on loop as the world ends if you happen to be tuned in – Starts with some pretty shaky camera work, – to CNN. – I gotta say. – You got a slow zoom. – Maybe that’s intentional. – This is the Armed Forces Marching Band playing “Nearer My God To Thee.” The hymn. And it’s just kind of, “Okay. This is it. This is it.” This is what we’re gonna watch as the world is ending? – A marching band? – Now, I’m told that when the band– – I wasn’t even in marching band. – When the Titanic went down, I’m told this is what the band was playing, – Okay. – so maybe it’s an apt choice, and, so I’m not saying this is a bad choice, I just thought it was gonna be, like, – something out of Lost. – There’s just not a lot to it, you know? It’s not necessarily that comforting to see a bunch of people who should be marching around just standing there, playing something in front of a building that I don’t particularly recognize. – It’s got some columns. – There’s a pool there. – That looks like it could be fun. – Yeah, I’d be in that pool, – (laughs) – you know? I’d get one last swim before it all goes down. Before it’s over. – Maybe we’ve got the wrong perspective. – You know, I think if this video ended, would, like, everyone just– Stripping down to their skivvies and jumping in. It’d be like, – (excited voice) “Wow! Getting crazy! – Well maybe that happened. – It’s the end of the world!” – Okay, well this gave us an idea, right? So, we don’t know how long we’re gonna be doing Good Mythical Morning, but the way that it works, I mean, we’re gonna be doing it for as long as we can. – We plan to do it until the apocalypse. – Yeah, the way that this thing works is that once we put a video up, I mean, it’s there forever. Today, we’re going to create the Good Mythical Morning doomsday video. This is the video that when you know that the world is ending, you can come back and watch this one. And you know what you will also do? If we happen to get to the Internet before the world starts ending, we’ll just put this thing on like a 10 hour loop, and you can watch it for the last 10 hours of your life. But we have to create it, so here’s what we’re gonna do; We’re gonna get in the mode, get in the zone of the apocalypse, and we’re gonna create our doomsday video right now, and then we’ll replay it on loop when it really happens. Are you ready? Let’s get Armageddon on. – (static) – ♪ (marching band music) ♪ – Good mythical apocalypse. – If you are watching this video we regret to inform you that the world is currently ending. Possible reasons for this include but are not limited to: – ♪ (news music) ♪ – We’ve reached the singularity and the robots have taken over. An asteroid is about to hit earth, for real though. The geomagnetic poles have switched allowing the radiation from the sun to burn us alive like baked potatoes. The Mayan’s were right, they were just off by a few years. A janitor with way too much military clearance tripped and hit a big red button by mistake and every nuke on earth has been launched simultaneously. An insidious alien race has invaded and unleashed an irresistible weapon causing wide spread death by chocolate. The internet went down and due to our dependence on Googling answers to every question, we can no longer remember how to make a sandwich, so we’re dying. Our entire existence was only just a dream within the mind of rapper Nelly and Nelly is finally waking up. A young middle school student decided to do the extra large Hadron collider as his school science project and accidentally created a black hole. And that really sucks. Indeed. A college freshman left out some Lo Mein too long. So long in fact that it became a power hungry sentient being which subsequently Asexually reproduced. Now Lo Mein is everywhere and we can’t stop them! A mad scientist has created a strain of affordable super beans leading to a irreversible buildup of methane gas in the atmosphere, then some jerk named Doug lit a match. (inaudible) to us on land. Dolphins have slowly been constructing giant robotic tanks and they’re now destroying the human race and amphibious death machines. Someone did the unthinkable and removed the “do not remove this tag” tag from their mattress. And now we turn our attention to the things that we will miss most. Yes the world is – crumbling around us along with all the – ♪ (sad music) ♪ things that have changed our lives. Including: Cake. (Link) Relaxing baths with flower petals. (Rhett) The beach. (Link) Knees. (Rhett) Tandem bike rides. (Link) Spinning soccer balls on your finger in slow motion. (Rhett) Yule logs. (Link) Pinatas. (Rhett) Sizzling bacon. (Link) Money falling in slow motion from the sky. (Rhett) Lilly pads in ponds. (Link) Strange rock formations. (Rhett) Boomboxes with TVs in the middle of them. (Link) Assorted fruits and vegetables rotating in front of a white background. (Rhett) Riding super tall unicycles. (Link) Gargling milk in slow motion. (Rhett) Robotic sharks on the sides of buildings (laughs) (Link) Sitting in wheat fields with your arms up. And now we have compiled a series of things that we will do for you to calm you, seeing – as it is that you’re gonna die soon – You’re dying right now. along with everyone around you. These are the most calming things that we could come up with for you to witness before you close your eyes one last time. Okay. ♪ (plays Taps) ♪ – You’re on a second verse? – Yeah, round two. – Should I? – No. (continues playing) I’m not going to do a round two. I would like to read a poem that I have prepared. Do it. – ♪ (sad music) ♪ – Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m going to die soon, so are you. Hey but don’t worry, we’re like a team. A team that will soon be decomposing. We had a good run, us humans, you know. We learned how to fly and made some cool television shows. There was one about people who are in the wilderness naked. I never watched it or anything. But none of that matters as we huddle together in holes in the ground. Like a roach and a toilet bowl waiting to be drowned. Ah, there’s a thought, roaches will probably live through this. So find a roach near you and give it a kiss. A kiss of hope, a kiss of destiny for roaches to rule what’s left of this world splendidly. Think about that. You will be replaced by a roach that should keep you happy while you wait to (inaudible) Moving right along. (static) – We’re back. – And now for some reassuring chants and breathing exercises. – ♪ (piano music) ♪ Breathe in with us. (both inhale) – Everything is going to be okay. – (groans) Well not really, I mean you’re dying, we’re all dying. Everything is ending. Existance. – At least you’re with the ones you love. – Some of which are already dead, – it’s weird, they’re there, it’s morbid. – (laughs) – (inhales) – Why don’t you pour some water, I’ve heard – that– – Oh yeah, good idea. Alright. – Pouring water is soothing and I like to – Here we go just focus. – pet an animal when doing this. – Listen to that. Listen to that. Listen to that. Listen to that. Then it’s going back in here. – Listen to it. (water trickling continues) – This dog will be dead in a matter of hours. – Right. – Might as well pet it while he’s alive. – She’s alive. (laughs) – Here we go. – (Rhett) Look how cute she is. – W– Listen to that. (water trickling) I– Makes me wanna pee a little bit, but it doesn’t matter. – It does. It does. – I could pee in my pants right now and, you know what? I wouldn’t even be embarassed. – No. – ‘Cause I’m gonna be dead in a second. – Do it. – I can’t relax enough. Here we go. (water trickling) Focus on this. Pee your pants. It’s the end of the world. No one’s gonna care. – And now– – Drink some of that. – (slurping) That’s good water. – Okay, enough of that. Enough of that. Is there enough of that? Okay, are we moving on to patty cake? – (laughs) Yep, we better not. – Okay. Here we go, guys. We’re doing Armageddon patty cake. Okay? It’s basically regular patty cake. Hold your hands out. – Good. Good. Okay. And here we go. – I don’t know how to do patty cake. – I’m just gonna follow you. – Patty cake. Patty cake. Baker’s man. Roll ’em up. Roll ’em up. Throw ’em in the pan. Pat it, and shape it, and mark it with a ‘B’, and put it in the oven– Yeah. You– You do it too. Put it in the oven for baby and me. – We’re all dead. – Now let’s go out with a happy face. – Right. – Put a happy face on. (laughs) – Right. – What better way to go out than with just – a little laugh? A little laughter? – Right, right, right, right. You’re right. – Just a little chuckle. – (both laugh) – (explosions from outside) – (laughing fades) – You remember that time? – (both laugh harder) – This is it! – (laughing turns to crying) I’m gonna miss not being alive! I don’t wanna die! I don’t want it to be over! (beep interrupts) (static) – Okay, well– – That was fun. – That was really upbeat and fun. – You can watch that over, and over, and – over again until you die. How’s that sound? – I predict that when the world is ending around you if that does happen to you. The first thing you’re gonna think about is going to our channel especially because that’s what we’ve – precreated for– – And i’m sure the internet will still be up. Alright, we wanna thank our sponsor Godaddy.com! Visit Godaddy.com and enter code “GMM” at checkout to get a .com domain for only $1.99 – link in the description. – Don’t let somebody reserve that website before you do. If you wanna go and reserve Theworldisendingpetadog.com – do it now! – Do it now, trust me. $1.99. Thanks for liking and commenting on this video. You know what time it is. (screaming and dragons screeching) If big horses scare you, don’t worry you can still follow us on Instagram because we do miniature horse monday! Click through to Good Mythical More where we answer the question, truthfully if we – had 30 days before the apocalypse and we – Truthfully? – knew it what would we do? Truthfully. – Really? We gotta answer it truthfully? Truth or dare. Rhett thinks Link isn’t specific enough. Oh man, I am really into the apocalypse. Could you be a little bit more specific? (talking slowly) I am really excited about the world ending. Yeah but what exactly do you mean? – I have the emotion of liking the event– – Could you be more specific? [Captioned by Whitney and Hayleigh: GMM Captioning Team]

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