Some of the things that you use every day are surprisingly filthy. Let’s talk about that! ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Goooooooood Mythical Morning! – Most normal people know not to do things like don’t actually touch the toilet flusher… you use your foot, right? – Everybody? – Oh, don’t do that. – Or you grab some toilet paper – Use some paper towel! or paper towel and you’re not supposed to touch the door knob on the bathroom of a – public restroom. – Oh no. Use a different paper towel. – We wrote a whole song about that. – Yes. But everybody knows those things. What about the unexpectedly filthy things? We’re gonna find out about those today and Link’s gonna play a little game to see if he can be crowned the King of Filth. Link, I’m gonna ask you a bunch of questions and if you get at least half of them right… – I get to wear– Oh! What? – (Rhett and crew laugh) – Surprise! – Somebody… – We’re gonna make a crown outta that. – How? – You’re lookin’ forward to that! – Okay, all right, I still wanna win, – ’cause I’m a winner. – It’s a fill-in-the-blank game and we’re gonna call it… (Rhett, dramatically) Fill in the Blank with Dirty Things! – Okay, Link, first question. – Dirty things, huh? Okay. At work, there are 200 times more bacteria on your blank than on your – toilet seat. – Ooh! At work… – Mm. – there are 200 times more bacteria on… – my coworkers! No, ah… – What’re you tryin’ to say about all – of us? It’s probably true, I don’t know. – I’m gonna say keyboard. Keyboard. – Oh, you’re gonna say keyboard! – Yes. – (bell dings) – Ding ding ding ding ding! – Yes! – Congratulations, Link! You’re off – to a great start! – I think I’m gonna know these ’cause I’m kinda, like… I’m like… I’m paranoid about this kinda stuff. – I’m not a clean freak, but… – That was kind of a soft ball. – Yeah. – I mean, I’m not trying to, you know, give you false hope, but that was was kind of a false– (laughs) – That was a false ball. – It’s hard to clean– it was a false ball. How to clean a keyboard, that’s tough. We should make a video about that. And on a QWERTY keyboard, that means that ASDF and JKL; are the dirtiest keys. – I don’t use those. – So you can be like, “Hey, my semicolon’s really dirty.” It would be like, sort of like, I don’t know, you could say that to – somebody. – (crew laughs) – And I certainly will, Rhett. – (crew laughs) – Next question. – Ironically, you’re better off licking your garbage can than the BLANK in your bathroom. – Better off licking your garbage can… – Ironically! I threw in a little hint for you, ’cause I care about you. You’re a friend. I pull for you. – Licking… what? – Your garbage can. You want me to do – the whole thing again? – No. – You’re just– – The lollipop someone left. – That would be very, very specific. – Uh, no. – And it would not be the right answer. – That’s not my real answer. – Okay. – Um. What would you lick? I actually think it’s the underside of the faucet. You know where the water comes out? Have you ever cleaned that? ‘Cause I get sludge out from that sometimes. And all the water that then goes into your mouth goes through that sludge. You gotta talk to a plumber. Well, that’s a filter. The sludge is a filter. – That’s my answer. – (Both) The underside of the faucet. – Where the water comes out. – (buzzer buzzes) – Ennnh! Your bathtub, man! Ironically! – Well, I clean my bathtub! – I gave you a hint. Ah… – Oh. Ironically. A recent study actually found that staph bacteria– cause for serious skin infections– is in 26 percent of tubs that were tested. Just 6 percent of garbage cans. So keep licking your garbage cans, kids! Is that the application? I probably – shouldn’t give any application. – And stop leaving your lollipops in – my bathroom. – Who takes baths, anyway? – (laughs) – I can’t fit in a a bathtub. (mocking) I can’t fit in a bathtub. (normally) All right, let’s go. – I’m 50-50 at this point. – Make sure you wear Depends the next time you visit the blank. Tests have shown that its buttons contain large amounts of – bacteria which cause DIARRHEA. – Buttons? – Buttons. – It’s buttons contain diarrhea-inducing – bacteria. – (crew laughs) I didn’t know where you were going with that for a second. Yes, its buttons. – The buttons. – Wear Depends… what do Depends have – to do with buttons? – They don’t have anything to do with buttons; they have a lot to do with diarrhea, though. – (Link and crew laugh) – Oh. So read it one more time? – Wear your Depends… – Make sure you wear Depends ’cause you – might get diarrhea– – When… the next time you visit the blank, because tests have shown that its buttons contain large amounts of bacteria which cause diarrhea. I give you that diarrhea twice – on that one. – Ah, I’m gonna say… snack machine. – (Rhett and crew laugh) – Think about it! Everybody been wantin’ a snack when they just come from the restroom without washing their hands and they’re, like, pushing the button like D4… Well, you know, Link, you could be right but that wasn’t the answer – I was looking for. – (buzzer buzzes) – I was looking for “The ATM,” friend. – ATM. That was obvious! – The Automatic Teller Machine. – I should’ve gotten that one. Buttons! Fun fact: Endal the service dog was the first known dog to fully operate an ATM for his owner, Allen Parton. The dog is now dead, though. I don’t know what Allen – does with the ATM. – From diarrhea. – He probably gets a friend to help. – (crew laughs) – You got a dog that can use an ATM… – I use my knuckles on an ATM. You’re joking, now. You use your knuckles? – (crew laughs) – And I cover my knuckle with the other hand so you can’t see what I’m doing, for two reasons: One, I don’t want you to get – my code; two, I don’t– – (silly voice) One, two, three, four! – I’m using my knuckle on the ATM! – (crew laughs) Don’t want ’em to know it’s one, two, three, four! It’s not one, two, three, four; it’s– ahhh! See, you thought I was gonna – actually say it. – (normally) Even though they’re free, ask the waiter to leave out the blank when you eat at a restaurant because half of them are covered in human fecal matter! Human fecal matter, Link! – They’re free. You gave me a hint, there. – Yeah. These are free. The waiter… – Napkins… – The waiter gives ’em to you. – They got fecal matter on ’em. – The straw! – Please tell me it’s not the straw. – Is that your answer? – The drinking straw. – It’s not the straw. – (buzzer buzzes) – Oh good, ’cause I put my mouth on that. – Well, straws come in cases. – Straw case! – But it’s, ah… straw case? – Is that the answer? – (crew laughs) – The case for the straw? – No, the answer is lemon wedges. – Ooh! Lemon– why do lemon wedges – have fecal matter on ’em? – Well, I don’t know, but… – How are lemons made? (laughs) – 70 percent of lemons… – Lemons aren’t laid like eggs, are they? – Here’s the deal. Do you want me to – spell this out for you? – Out of the buttholes of… – Waiters. – Humans. (laughs) Waiters! – Waiters crap lemons. (laughs) – Waiters and waitresses don’t always do what the sign says and they don’t always – (both) wash their hands. – But then they got to grab the wedge. – The wedge! – You just need to squeeze the wedge and then discard the wedge. In fact, if you’re in one of those restaurants that’s got peanuts on the floor, you just squeeze and throw. Squeeze and throw. And don’t go in the bathroom. If it smells lemony, you know what’s up. So, Link– where is he at right now? He’s missed– he’s gotten one and he’s missed – three. Wow. – I gotta catch up. – You really gotta make your comeback. – I really thought it was straws. – I thought that was good. – All right. By making blank, you’re allowing dust mites, influenza, and food poisoning microbes to flourish. Dust mites. I know this one. By making… your bed. – I was– (slurps) “Your bed!” – (Link and crew laugh) – I was sucking on a straw. – You’re right, Link! – (bell dings) – It’s your bed! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep ’em rolling, keep ’em rolling. Gimme another one. But I wanna say, really quick, the reason that happens is because, when you make the bed, you create a dark, moist environment under the covers that the – bacteria just love. – Moist? The same reason you love to be under those covers is the same reason bacteria love to be under those covers. So don’t make your bed, kids! – It’s not moist in my bed. – Next time your mom asks you to make your bed, say, “Mom, I don’t wanna die from bacteria!” Ah… with about 100 million bacteria per square inch, your blank is the dirtiest thing in your kitchen. Dirtiest thing in your kitchen, man. (softly) Dirtiest thing in your kitchen… (normally) Um. That pile of soy sauce packets that you kept for no apparent reason. – Mm. No. – No, that’s not right. – That’s a joke. Is that joke or an answer? – Well, it wasn’t really a joke, but… Yeah. I’ll say– it was a joke! I’ll own that. – (crew laughs) – Um… hm. You know what? After bathtub, – I’m gonna say… sink. The kitchen sink. – Mm. Mmm. The dirtiest thing, huh? – The dirtiest thing in the kitchen. – The underside of your fridge is dirtier than that. The drawer in the fridge. This is THE dirtiest thing, man. I don’t wanna see you fail. – The inside of the microwave. – 100 million– 100 million bacteria per square inch! Dirtiest thing in the kitchen. Boy, this thing just sucks in – the dirty. (laughs) Just SUCKS it in. – Garbage disposal? – Oh gosh. – (Rhett and crew laugh) – A vacuum cleaner’s not in the kitchen. – (crew laughs) – So I don’t know this one. – It absorbs– – A sponge! – Heyyy! – (bell dings) – I knew that! Okay, yeah. – A kitchen sponge. – Dishcloth. – So you gave me that one. – Dishcloth, sponge. Okay, so, where’s he at right now? If he gets this last one right, that’s half, right? – They stink. – ‘Cause he’s gotten 3 out of 7. Yeah, so Link… oh, he’s gotten 3 out of 6. Oh, you know what? I got one more question for you, but if you miss it, you lose. – (Rhett and crew laugh) – Mm. How’s that feel? Okay. And listen, Link. This is a two-parter, and if you just get half of it, you technically get half, total. Okay? You still can be the king. – Okay, all right. – It’s math. – Before you look at that lost– shoop! – (mocking) Shoop! Before you look for that lost sock in your hotel room, you should know that the “blank” is covered in “blank” bacteria. Two blanks! – Sock? – Before you look for that lost sock in – your hotel room… – So the sock… my lost socks are always under the bed, but… I know what the dirtiest thing in a hotel room is. – But what do you need– – I know what it is. I added the lost sock. ‘Cause I don’t wanna be the reason that you lose. – That’s a diversion, isn’t it. – No, it’s not a diversion. I added the lost sock, because you need the thing that this thing will give you in order to find the lost sock, okay? I’m just– just wanna be a friend. – Need this… this thing will give you. – You got 19 seconds. (chuckles) TV remote. I know that’s the answer. I don’t care what you’re saying about a sock. The dirtiest thing in a hotel room, assuming that stuff’s been cleaned… – Mm. Wow. – is the television remote. I don’t care what he says. And it’s… I don’t know what the other part is, so I’m just gonna say “flesh-eating bacteria.” ‘Cause there’s flesh-eating bacteria on hotel room television remotes. Final answer. Don’t give me this “sock” crap. – (crew laughs) – Wow. You’re so confidently incorrect! – (buzzer buzzes) – Link, it’s the light switch! And it’s – fecal bacteria, man. – They don’t wash a light switch at – the dadgum hotel? – You need the light to find the sock. I was trying to give you the old friend hint. But you took it and went with the – remote. – Yeah, that was a– all right, so now – you get to wear the– the toilet hat. – I get to be the King of Filth! – ♪ (triumphant music) ♪ – And we all get to walk around paranoid about all the dirty stuff in our lives, so… thanks for liking and commenting on this video. And for subscribing! Do that, people. You know what time it is! (young person’s voice) Hi. It’s Matthew from Arden Hills Minnesota, the land of ten thousand lakes, and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality! – The Mythical Hats are back, everybody! – (Link) Whaaat? Look at that, how well they fit! Get them at Rhettandlink.com – (both) slash store! – (Link) Also, you can get Rhett and Link bobbleheads, the limited edition hoverboard T-shirt, newly redesigned, mugs… click through to Good Mythical More. We got some more filthy stuff – to discuss. – Sorry. Dropped my hat. – It’s fine. – Rhett thinks he’s on a soap opera. – Ignore the toilet. I’m a plumber. – Okay. – And I had a bad day, Marcia. – Oh. (whispers) Hey, listen. Listen, I need to tell you. (laughs) I gotta tell you about – Amanda… – Tell me all about it. – I gotta tell you about Amanda. – Tell me all about it. – She’s got appendicitis. – Oh no! I found it when I was… (laughs) I found the appendicitis when I was in her bathroom, I’m sorry. That’s how this happened. – (giggles) Okay. – She’s also been stabbed. – Oh my goodness! – And… I’m having her baby. – (crew laughs) – That’s not it, it is? [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]