Welcome to Good Mythical More. What happened? We’re gonna look at crazy warning labels. That’s what is gonna happen, but what did happen? Well, we got a new voicemail, I think. Oh, great. Oh, hi. I didn’t realize it was gonna start. Hey, this is their voicemail. My name’s Katie. I don’t why I sound so scared. I hope you have a good day. Calm down, Katie. Katie, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. Katie could have hung up and called back and then just left a composed voicemail. Maybe she didn’t- No, but then we wouldn’t have chosen that one. But we did not choose it. Yeah. I liked choosing that one. Yeah. All right. Twinkle fingy, do you choose the voicemails? No. You’re just given the voicemails. Yeah. So higher powers choose or is it lower powers? I don’t know. I think Davin likes to think it’s higher powers. Okay because Davin chooses. Davin doesn’t choose? I think Megan chooses. Megan Thee Stallion chooses. Yeah, yeah. She texts us her choice. It’s a weird relationship. She’s like, I wanna work with you guys and then we were like, “Okay, that sounds incredible!” And then she told us that. Warning labels or labels on clothes that tell you how to wash the things. Link, I would think that you, do you read some of those? I feel like you might. I do laundry and I do read them, but you know, just wash it all on cold is kind of what I concluded and then tumble dry and then for the workout pants, you get a real talking to, if you don’t let those air dry. By yourself? What do you mean by myself? You give yourself the talking to? Yourself to talking. I’ve shrunk some stuff and I’ve gotten to talking to by my family. Not just Christy, but the entire family and their workout pants. Oh, you gotta let them air dry. You gotta hang them on the line. Okay, so maybe you might have the advantage here, but these are no ordinary warning labels and washing labels, so I’m gonna show you one. There’s gonna be a blank or two or three. Okay. And then you’re gonna have to fill in the blank. So here’s the first one. Warning. This zipper may blank your blank. Zip with caution. Oh, well look that right there, I think that the French underneath that is going to give us the answer. Because it says penis, right? Well, I was gonna say that, anyway. You guys don’t know that the French answer was right underneath it. We got you! Okay. Twinkle fingies, you gonna put that off on Megan Thee Stallion, too? I’ll take that one. Okay. All right. I’m using the French as my hint here. I was gonna say penis anyway, but I’ve got a very specific interpretation of that. Don’t spend too much time trying to figure it out. Bless your penis. Well, that’s what I said. Bless your penis. This zipper may bless your penis. Yeah, it has to be bless. It could be poot your penis and turn it into an eclair. It may penis-ize your eclair. This zipper may eclair-ize your penis. So this is a draw because we’ve both taken so much French. Harm your penis. It’s harm your penis. Okay. Look at the little guy on the label. You don’t know if he’s a little or not, Stevie. Is this real? It looks real. That’s a physical label. Somebody went through a lot of trouble, if this isn’t real. Well, it can also harm your scrotum. If Something About Mary is any indication. Because that was scrot in that one. Okay, there’s no French on this next one. So it’ll be a little bit harder, I think. Size three to four. 100% polyester. Wash inside out. Remove blank before washing. Made in China. Remove blank before washing. Okay. All right. I’m going with the size of the blank here and then I’ll just say what I- It’s a blue garment. Okay. What do you think it is? I said poop. Poop? Dookie? I thought it was a cup because I think this is like an athletic thing. Carney said penis. Remove child? Yeah, remove the actual child. Size three to four years means it’s for three to four year. It’s like three to four years. Oh. So that was a good guess. What did you think it was? A cup? I thought it was athletic wear, like remove the plastic cup. You don’t have to remove the plastic cup before washing it. From the jock strap before you wash it. So this is a joke. No, it’s not. Remove the child’s before washing. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a joke. It’s not a joke, but- You should remove the child before washing. If somebody has a sense of humor, that’s where that came from, right? They can’t be serious. No, I think somebody washed their child in this. So I think Rhett’s gotta get that point, huh? Because at least it was educated. I said poop. Because you knew it was a child garment. What’s closer to a child, poop or cup? Did you think it was child poop? I think poop comes out of a child and a cup can’t come out of a child, unless it comes out in the form of poop. But you weren’t thinking it’s a three to four year old wearing this garment and pooping in it? No, but a child could poop in a cup. Well, then fine. I’ll take the point. No, it’s mine. All right. It’s up to Stevie. You both receive a point. Okay, we both get a point. Okay, this is for a hairdryer. Its instructions. Do not use on people. Blank, little blank, bigger blank. Yeah, three words. Everything else is. Keep the cord away from heated surfaces. Do not use on people. That’s a little- And this is a hairdryer? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I feel like I violated this one and I know that you violated this one. Why can’t you use it outdoors? And why are all those things in one bullet? Because if you use a hairdryer outdoors, it competes with the wind and a God gets mad about that. Now, hold on. He’s like, what are you trying to do? Control the weather? That’s my job. Now, I will point out. The last one says, “Do not direct hot air towards the eyes or other heat sensitive areas.” I direct the hot air from my blow dryer toward my heat sensitive areas every time I get out of the shower. Heat sensitive area? Or just your sensitive area? You said my heat sensitive areas. That’s what it says. Yeah, my heat sensitive areas. I just know how much heat to use to fully dry my areas. That’s exactly what. I said do not use on people who are cold. I said do not use on people who are plastic. Wait, do not use on people who are cold? Like, you can’t warm them up? Yeah, don’t go out to a cold person. It’s a dryer, not a heater. It’s like, don’t try to heat somebody who’s cold. If somebody says, “I’m cold,” to get a jacket, don’t start blowing them. Right. Definitely. Get the heart rate up. Right. Okay, let’s see what it actually is. Who are sleeping. The fact that we both said, “Who are.” I was just joking. I didn’t even know that who are. I thought it was gonna be do not use on people and or animals or something like that. But this makes more sense. Yeah, this is great news, guys because you each get another point. Yay. Do not use on people who are sleeping because they can’t give feedback that they’re being burned. And, of course, they’re not gonna wake up. They’ll give the feedback after they’re being burned. They’re not gonna wait because this is a great model that doesn’t operate very loudly, so. I’m trying to think of if I’ve ever seen a sleeping person and just really wanted to blow dry them. You know what? They look so peaceful. No, it’s that thing you do as kids when everybody goes to sleep at the sleepover and the one person, you blow dry them. The first one to go to sleep’s gonna get blow dried. And they wake up with a Brazilian blowout. Okay. I recommend blow drying your entire body once you get out of the shower. I do it every morning and it looks weird, but it feels great. Caution, little blank, another but almost a small blank, and then a big old blank on a coat hanger from like a, this is from a dry cleaner. Caution. Man, those are small blanks. Caution, a, the, what. A the. I think I’ve got this one. Okay, I don’t think I do, so I’ll go first. Caution. I am hanger. I agree with I am. Caution, I am pointy. You both went with the first person hanger? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let’s see what it actually is. Do not swallow. Oh, my God. What is in the diagram there? Is it a full thing inside of a person? It’s like if an ostrich swallowed a hanger, but it’s a human. Maybe a plastic human. If you had to swallow that. Like, if it was like, you have no choice. You must swallow this. I wouldn’t do it that way. I think if you rolled it up into a ball. I would chop it up into pieces. No, you can’t chop it. You can’t chop it? Like a sword swallow? Are you gonna turn the in to make it smooth and then just push the whole thing into your body? But then it’s gonna get stuck. You giving me nightmares, man. I’m not even sleeping. But if I am, blow dry me. What if you ball into the smallest amount possible and you’re maybe using a hydraulic press and then I’m gonna take a big pill and then it’s gonna come up my anus later. Why? Why would this? Are people that hungry? Some people have a mineral deficiency. They’ll eat anything you put in front of them. I’m not using your eraser because I don’t wanna wear mine out. Good. I can’t award any points for that round, so we’re gonna have to plug this comic book. We are still excited about this comic book because it’s a labor of love. So you gotta join the Mythical Society, if you’re not already a member. This is the latest quarterly collectible item and it’s exclusive to that. Join Third Degree Monthly by January 31st or Third Degree Quarterly or Annual by March 31st to get your copy. mythicalsociety.com for details. All right. How about this? Letter openers. Clean, quick choice. Caution, blades are extremely sharp. Blank, blank recommended. Keep out of reach. Keep out of reach of children. Do you own a letter opener? No. I’ve never opened a letter. No. Just kidding. Davin is very excited about proclaiming he does own a letter opener. Oh, he’s prone to paper cuts. I remember my dad’s company having letter openers that had like the logo of the company and everything. They would hand them out as little gifts. What do you call those, like little promotional things? Yeah. Oh, boy, did I have a fun, fun time with that letter opener and it sounds like Davin is still having a fun time with it. I don’t think this is funny enough to be worthy of Good Mythical More, but it’s the first thing that came to my mind. Two hands recommended. I went with the big gloves recommended. Let’s see. Big gloves. Safety goggles, hey! Why? That thing’s pointy. The ending thing’s pretty pointy. So it’s like you’re cutting open a letter and then going right into your eyeball with it! No one’s that erratic. No one that I know. Letter opening can get really, really crazy if you’re super excited and you haven’t gotten a letter in a long time. Like if you’ve been expecting like- It’s my long-lost brother that I knew when we were kids and we were separated when we were really young. I go out to the mailbox every single day and I see, is there a letter from Johnny? And the day that the letter from Johnny shows up, you’re so excited. You’re like, let me go get my letter opener. And you get it and you’re like, dang it! I’m so excited. I gotta get my glasses, put it on. That’s how it goes. Just right into your eye? Yeah, right. I just can’t. I just can’t think. Even with two hands, I have discovered that it would still go into your eye. Yeah, that’s why the point goes to Rhett for this round. Okay, crap. Clearly. All right. Okay, how about this one? For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes, ears, brain, and surrounding membranes. Do not using body cavities or little blank, little blank, big blank. Okay, so it’s something cream. Mide. Spermide? Spermicide? What is mide? Follow my mide cream. They have bromide cream. Some side of cream went in. Avoid contact with eyes, ears, brain. Do not use in body cavities or- Why would it say brain? That is so scary. Like, if your brain is exposed, don’t rub this cream on it? Well, it might be brain cream. They sell that sometimes. Oh, my gosh. Dude, you’re showing a little brain there. Again, I’m going with blank size here. That’s why this is phrased the way that it is. Do not use in body cavities or little blank. Those are each one. Yeah. One letter. Well, that’s why I went with this. Hold on, I haven’t written my answer yet. Do not use body cavities or- Brain cream, huh? Surrounding membranes. How would you even get to the surrounding membranes of your brain? Do not open up something on your head and put this in it. Okay. Do not use in body cavities or on a penis. On a penis. Instead of on your penis, it’s just the blanks didn’t work for that. Do not use on body cavities or on a penis. Don’t put it on anyone’s penis. I was thinking the same thing, but I said on a pee hole. A pee hole, yeah, yeah. Technically, a pee hole is a body cavity. Do not using body cavities or a pee hole. You ever gotten anything on your pee hole? Whoa, buddy. And then it- Brain cream would be the worst thing to get on there. It will really burn. Sometimes that pee hole will burn. You’re not far off. Let’s see. As an enema. Link, that boy will do an enema before- Any major event. Any major event. Yeah. He’s like, “We’re gonna be out for more than three hours. Okay, give me a second.” Now, it’s really while traveling. Yeah, right. Don’t throw me under the bus. You’re the one telling me about after every major event, you’ve started to use an enema. No, not after, but before. Before, I mean. Yeah, right. Do not use on body or as an enema. What is this stuff? There’s a lot to unpack here. What? I said there’s a lot to unpack here. Yeah, let me tell you about it. Okay, I feel like this is one point each. Rhett started and then he acted like it was me. He told me. Okay, I’m gonna tell you this. If you’re about to get on a plane. Okay, especially if you’re about to get on the plane and you’re gonna flying all day, you don’t wanna take a crap of the airport and you definitely wanna take a crap on the plane. Give yourself an enema before traveling. I’m sorry, but Davin just went, “Mm-hmm.” He was like, “I’ve had bad experiences.” But it’s a slippery slope because then you’re like, I’m going for a workout. I don’t wanna have to take a dump at the gym. So then you give yourself an enema. I haven’t done this yet. But what I did tell you, and I will tell you now. See, he told me! Is that I haven’t done nearly as many enemas as you, but this is what I was thinking. I inspired you. I went out on a date with my wife recently and about halfway through the date, I was like, dang it. I got to take a crap. And this is the middle of the date and I was like, this is, I hate this. It’s not very romantic. Because I don’t want to go in- Especially doing it right in front of them. And then I was like, “Let’s go home.” You know? Because I was like, I don’t want to do it in a public restroom. I am willing to do it in a public restroom, but like the bidet, you know? And so then I was like, well maybe if we’re gonna go out on a date that’s at least four hours- You got a spoiled booty. Just do an enema before you leave. Preemptive. Yeah. Poop create. And just water-based. Just water-base. Don’t be putting chemicals up there. That thing you get at the drug store, it’s got other stuff in there. You gotta go easy on that. Oh, really? Yeah. And don’t do the coffee stuff that these people in LA do. Stay away from that. Just the water. That’s all you need. Join Third Degree Monthly by January 31st or Quarterly or Annual by March 31st to get Mythical’s first ever comic book. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.