Welcome to Good Mythical More. We are going to explore and rank midlife crisis decisions. We’re gonna start with the sad having an affair. But, we’re also going to play a quick round of Thinkin and Sink It. This is our trivia game over on the Mythical Society where you can predict what’s gonna happen on tomorrow’s episode of Good Mythical Morning. Uh huh. We’re gonna play one from the past and see how well we can play. In the international dips. Episode Cheese pocalypse, Cheese ageddon, and Cheese nado were all names given to a catastrophic last minute shortage of what product just weeks before the 2014 Super Bowl was at A. Cheese Whiz, B. Velveeta, C. Sargento Shredded Cheese, or D. Blue Cheese Dressing? I don’t remember this. Uh, I don’t either. I’m gonna go with Blue Cheese Dressing because that would be like, you know, with the wings. I think it’s Cheez Whiz. There was a I think there was a shortage of Cheez Whiz. What is it? Um most people chose Velveeta. Second came Cheez Whiz. And Velveeta was correct. Oh, man. Okay. Well, okay. Good job. Better than us. It’s in the news. Um, we are in our midlife. We’re in the middle of our lives. We did a whole episode of Ear Biscuits about the fact that we are in a midlife crisis, at least that was my perspective. And I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. I think you gotta have a little bit of a crisis in the middle of your life. And just embrace it. Get some tattoos. Get into scuba diving. Sneeze more. Care less. Uh, we’ve, we’ve done some of these things. We have not. What else we’ve done. Grow your hair out. Get a motorcycle. I haven’t got a motorcycle. Haven’t an affair either. Have not, I have not had an affair. Um, I think this is, this is pretty bad. What side do you want the bad to be? It usually is. Okay. The most extra. I can’t think of many things during your midlife crisis. That would be worse than this. Yeah. Don’t do it. Don’t do that. So let’s just put it right here on the very edge. Don’t do it, Rhett. Right here on the edge. And I’m not gonna do it, um. Buy a convertible. I, I think my version of this is a, is an off road vehicle. I thought you were gonna say one of those spider bikes with the two wheels in the front and the one in the back. It requires less balance. I’d like to see you on one of those. Yeah, it would look good. I’d like to see you. Yeah, boy. Going down to PCH. No need to balance. Um, course we shared an FJ Cruiser that then at one point you bought from me and then you shipped it to North Carolina. So you still have that. And I kinda miss the ability to off road. Well you do that with your vans that you rent. I saw that, that’s coming later. So yeah, no, not a convertible for me. Let’s just say, I care too much about my hair. Buy a sports car. Can we just change it to that? Like buy a car that’s supposed to make you feel young. Cause I don’t think that. The off roading is the same thing. I think that’s a little bit more van lifey kind of thing, right? This is like, I’m gonna buy a car that makes me feel cool. Don’t you oddly associate convertibles with older people? Yeah. I do. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Because it’s a second car, you know? It’s like, if you’re putting all your driving into a convertible, that’s tough. It’s like a, you know, it’s a Sunday drive type thing. I’m not much of a car guy. Me neither. So are we, are we going worst or most popular? Worse, but I think the siding, I think we’ve, it’s a, um. From this perspective, it feels like you should reverse the side. So, like, the best midlife crisis choice is on So the worst thing to do is have an affair. Buying a convertible is very cliche. I don’t hate If I see an old man in a convertible, I’m like, hey, I kinda get it. It’s not my thing, but if it was my thing, I might do it. But it’s not my thing. I am really into scuba diving, though. We both really got into scuba diving, and let me tell you, it is awesome. It’s awesome. This seems pretty personal. This is not real, is it? Is this a midlife crisis thing? Ew, it’s just a joke. It’s just a joke? Yeah. This isn’t normal. This is not a normal crisis. This is really good. Because if you know how to scuba, you can solve problems. You can like, uh, find underwater treasure. You can weld pipes. Yeah, you can weld. There you go, Chase. Chase is in his midlife crisis. How old are you, Chase? 47. 47. You would have never, never known that. You’re a young looking 47. How about me? Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. Let’s find another one here. Get a tattoo. Is this, you’re making fun of us again? This one’s borderline to me. I think this could be, I think now this could be a midlife crisis. I think this is very midlife at this point. I know a lot of middle aged dudes who are like getting their first tattoo in their 40s. It’s a good thing to do because there’s a lot less at stake. You know who you are and who you’re trying to be. It’s definitely better than getting a tattoo at 18. Yep. My daughter did not listen. But I really want to start getting a bunch, and I was talking to my wife about it, and she accused me of being in a midlife situation. And you know what? And you should say, you know what? I am, and that’s okay. At least I’m not. I also want tattoos, but I don’t. I want, I was, you know, they have those like really realistic looking, um, temporary tattoos and you can also customize them. And when I floated this to Cassie, she acted as if it was going to be the most embarrassing thing that I’ve ever done to, to do this. Like, she was like, just get the tattoo that she’s going to be embarrassed to be out with me with a temporary tattoo. Yeah. Me too. But it looks real! And they would show up so good on your skin. I’m saying, but then I could just like, you know, then it would just be gone after a week or so. But then when people talk to you about it, and I’d own it. I wouldn’t be lying and be like, this is. That’s the, don’t do that. Don’t own it. Do you have anything in mind? Yeah. Like a bagel? Yeah. Rippin Rippin Dip Bagel? I have waited until I’m 37 to get my first tattoo and it’s gonna be a bagel. No, I, it’s, uh, yeah. Don’t get a bagel because people will be like, what is that? No. A donut? No. They’ll be like, no, it’s a bagel. What about a horse with your sister riding it? Oh yeah, that’s nice. Yes, I’ve always, I’ve always thought to myself, you know what, I should get my sister tattooed onto my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll get my brother on me, too. Try out van life. Uh, this is great. This is not bad. When you’ve lived half your life, sometimes you just want to escape judgment and knowledge. I think this may technically be better than tattoos, because tattoos, you may regret. You may regret them. You’re less likely to regret them, but you may. And this is just try it out. Make it infected. Van life is like on the way to RV life. Yup. You know what I mean? Like, that’s another 20 years. It’s retirement lite, is what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah, it’s great. It’s great. Okay, on the opposite extreme, we’ve got. Oh, this is real bad. Oh, my God! I can’t even I can’t even read it. I can’t even talk about it. Uh, also, if you have an affair, You might end up with this. That would be a double whammy. Could you imagine that? Yeah, I would say, uh. Good gracious. You know. How to double ruin your life. So if this baby is from the affair, it’s worse than just the affair. Yep. But if it’s just a regular baby. Still worse. Still worse. No, haven’t, if you, if Christy got pregnant somehow, you know, if like, there was a slip and a dip, you know, on our surgeries that we’ve had. Cause it does happen. It would be, it would be somewhat catastrophic. It’d be horrible. But it would, it’s not as bad as having an affair. Put the baby under the affair. I mean, yeah, you’re right. I never got to have a little girl. If I accidentally got Jesse pregnant, she had a little girl. It might be great for me. She definitely does not want that. Quit your job. Just walk out the door. Quit your job. I fantasize about this all the time. Quit your job is cool. I mean, that is a power move. You know, a complete reset financially. You know, take it down to zilch. It just depends on what your options are, what you’re quitting and why you’re quitting. Cause it, it, it sets the stage to completely reinvent yourself. Well, it depends on if you’re quitting. If you’re like an accountant and you’re like, I don’t like the firm I’m at, I’m done. And then you’re an accountant somewhere else. That’s different than quitting your career. Yeah. Yeah, we’re saying this is changing tracks. So we’re saying that it’s kind of bad, but it’s not that bad. It’s not as bad as buying a convertible? Hold on, we need to switch those. Convertibles, definitely. I think quitting your job is a baller move, man. I love it. Yeah, but, but, what if you got people depending on you? But you don’t. You’re gonna live in a van. Or in a convertible. The kids are out of the house, the wife’s had an affair, you’re living in a van, you’ve quit your job. You’re gonna, you’re gonna build a little surf shack in Costa Rica. Huh? I think they might be saturated down there now. Buy a new younger wardrobe. Is this targeted? I think, I think this is, uh, I think this is great. I think this is mix it up. Yeah. Come on. Don’t get, don’t, don’t be so boring. Don’t be the self you’ve always been. Evolve. This is the weirdest ranking. What the heck is, you’re saying the best thing to do is go scuba diving. Yes. Yeah. But then, and then other permanent or major purchases and then, and then the clothes, but then. These are the things that I’ve done. These are the things I haven’t done. Oh, okay, now this makes a lot more sense. Right? Um, okay, question about the younger wardrobe. Because, how far can this be extended? Like, if you’re, if there’s like a 70 year old man who comes in, and he’s dressed like a 20 year old. It’s too much of a gap. Like, how do you, how do you, how do you? Like, where do you draw the line? What happens here? How does that work? I think it’s, it’s, you have to match your, your vibe. You know, like, you can’t, you can’t look at you and go, oh, they’re wearing Gen Z clothes, you know? Yeah. That’s the line. You’d be like, oh, that, because you can be, that man is cool. You can be fashionable and cool as an old man. Yeah, yeah. But not the way to a young man as a young man. The way to dress like a 20-year-old, right. Like if you showed up with like a leather jacket with zippers all over it and a white bedazzled glove. That’d be weird. All the kids are dressing like that. That’d be weird. You’d be dressing like your younger self. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because my grandma did that for me one time. Including the, the glove. Did you wear it in public or just in the house? I wore it in her living room and danced for her. Dancing for your grandma, also a midlife crisis thing to do. The problem is, is that she only gave, she only gave me and my brother the jackets. and the gloves. And for some reason, uh, this might get a little weird here in a second, but, uh, for some reason, just because it was, you know, it was your grandma’s house, me and my brother just wore our underwear to like sleep in and like when getting ready to go to bed. So we would just be like two little boys in whitey tighties. And then if she decided she wanted us to dance for her, we would put our leather jackets and our gloves on. And it’s just, we were dancing like Michael Jackson in the living room in underwear and pants. Jackets, which he did not do. No, he didn’t publicly. It’s my grandma. This sounds like a link childhood story. Well, and she was half drunk. She took her teeth out. It was awesome. She was drinking out whiskey with her teeth out. Just loving every minute of it. Oh, wow. Was there music? Did you actually play Michael Jackson? That’s a great question it was much harder to just play music back then, and you know she didn’t own like a Michael Jackson record. Yeah, I’m pretty sure we just danced to music in our dance. You talking about Mama Nell? Yeah. She didn’t own Thriller. No. Everybody else did. And this was, we would go down to Georgia, and so, I think we kept the jackets at her house. She was like. The jackets are at my house. So when you show up, you can, you can dance for me. Wow, that’s weird, dude. That’s weird. I’ve never danced for my Nana. It’s really the reason I am who I am. Are we out of, uh, placards? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Cause there’s some that we didn’t cover that I think are pretty, like, good. I think, uh, uh, plastic surgery. What’s the, what’s the one down from plastic surgery? Like med spa treatments, Botox filler. I’m, I, I am very pro this, uh, midlife crisis exploration. Med spa. Okay, so that’s a general term or is that a brand? It’s a general term, but I will say some people have commented on very choice Instagram photos of me saying that I’ve had work done and I myself have not done any of these things, but I will tell you, most everyone I am friends with has definetly had. Yeah, in LA, obviously it’s very, very common. I’ll be, I haven’t had anything done, but I, if you can’t tell you’ve had your eyes squeezed, uh, that’s a medical procedure. I know it is, but, uh, I would, but it has a steady, I would definitely like, I’ve got, you know, I’ve got some baggy under my eyes. I would do something about that. I’d do something. If there was something that like, like not invasive, but they were like, We can do this thing to you down there. Technology has like, I’d be like, okay. Like, the Botox of yours is not the, well, now, depending on where you live, I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know what I would advise. The Botox of your neighborhood is. No, like, yeah, like the, the the MedSpa technology in general has really. There’s some good work being done in LA., I’ll say. Well, the latest trend, they say, is that, uh, undetectable plastic surgery. Yeah. You heard about this? Yeah. S that’s, they’re talking, they’re talking about Lindsay Lo Lowen in that way. Well, and that might not be the proper descriptor for that type of work. They’re saying Undetectable. Undetectable, yeah. I don’t know that’s the way to describe it. Maybe she, maybe it was detected and then after that the rest was undetectable. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else? I’m not, I’m not opposed to it. Do they have a procedure that, uh, keeps the hair from growing on the top of your nose? Yeah. It’s called laser treatment. Yeah. I need that. Yeah, you can get it plucked right out. Zapped and plucked, ripped, I mean, just cooked. It’s like they cooked the top of your nose. It’s what your grandma used to do. That’s electrolysis. That’s electrolysis, that’s individual hairs. And that hurts bad. Well, it’s, there’s gonna be some pain in this game. She did. She did that one time to my uni brow. Like to one hair that was like pesky to try to like kill it and it hurt so bad. But did it work? Uh. It eventually grew back, but then it doesn’t, it, not anymore. It’s not there anymore. Maybe it is. I think I can feel it. But I think it was just the first one hurts bad. And then after that, it probably like you get used to it. What about getting a pet monkey? Chimp crazy. That’s more Michael Jackson. Yeah. I’m not, I don’t know. Any, any other midlife things we miss? I think like a random hobby. Um, Adaptation. Like archery? What about dating? Yeah. What about dating someone half your age? Oh, there we go. That’s it. Or less than that if you’re Bill Belichick. The coach? He’s, he’s 70. Look up his girlfriend’s age. It’s shockingly young. I can’t remember what it is. Like, 20s? Oh, younger 20s, I think. We believe 19. Wow. 24. That’s different than 18, but still. She’s 70. She’s probably a sports fan. Yeah. I’m sure they talk a lot about football strategy. Um, yeah. So that’s, that’s, that’s way, that’s more than a midlife crisis. I mean, 70. Let’s just say crisis. Yeah, I’mma keep mine in check. I’mma stand on this side. Get a mythical quote every day of the year with our new 365 Days of Mythical Tearaway book. Available now at mythical.com.