Don’t normally do this, but welcome to Good Mythical More. Uh, what are we gonna do? You, uh, I, I, you don’t normally do this, but I don’t normally do this. What is this episode about? Uh, we are going to, uh, say the worst things that you could possibly do at a wedding. We’re gonna rank ’em. We’re gonna rank the worst things you can, you can possibly say at a wedding. But first. What are the chances? We’re gonna donate $1,000 to Outright International to aid in their mission, to strengthen the capacity of the L-G-B-T-Q-I-A Human Rights Movement. And you can join us in giving and we think you should, uh, outrightinternational.org. See you when, when you do the talking, it’s very convincing. You look great. You look great. The curls are even. Hold on, you’re gonna do that? That’s what you’re gonna do? No, I’m just trying to learn it. Oh, just trying to learn it. Uh, I mean, like, I don’t think I’ve ever had a curl day that good. You got the, I didn’t, I couldn’t have said that you exposed the ears as much as you do. Well, I do. And then it, it go away. I actually wish my ears were bigger so they’d hold more of my hair. Oh yeah. See now that I’m you, it’s all working. I got these big ears, man. I got, I got love making ears, you know what I’m saying? Nope. For holding onto. Yep, yep. Grab each side of my head and then. Do what with it? Whatever you need. Handles. I call ’em love handles. On the side of my head. Do I look like I, I should have a, uh. And I’m you right now. A sword. I don’t think I look like I should have a sword. Don’t should. You should shoulda have a sword, I don’t think. No. Oh, you just look like a normal internet guy. All right, let’s get to this. Do I look that down on my luck? Is this what I, is this what I look like? I, I wouldn’t call you lucky looking. That’s what you’re asking. You don’t have the look of luck about you. Look at luck. When I look at you, I don’t see luck. You just look like somebody’s going through hard times. Is that what I look like? I smile more. Just this is, this is the challenge that you face. Oh, I’ve gotta learn how to smile more so that. No, you don’t have to learn how to smile more because you have a, you covered up the bottom half of your face. I’m trying to get my eyebrows put down right here. Okay. Weddings. Weddings. We are going to a wedding. Uh. Not too, not into the not too distant future together. Stevie, you’ll be there. Mm-hmm. You’re talking about Jacob’s wedding? And I think that we should all commit to doing one of these things right now on this list. Me and you and Stevie all have to commit to doing one of these things. Stevie, you need to bring kids. Well, that’s not, I mean, I don’t want to. Why we want, why we wanna mess up his party? Yeah. Well, I’m just doing it for fun now. Yeah. Yeah. And then when the day comes, we’ll lose heart. Because the stakes are higher. Okay. Uh, Stevie, you’re, you are gonna be at that wedding though, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re gonna be there. We, we’ve made our reservations and, uh, you know what, we should, uh, we should hang out that night. Why are you we’re saying things that you, as Link should also say. But you’re saying them as Rhett. I’ll tell Link. I’ll tell Link what we talk about. Sometimes we talk about similar sometimes. Yeah. That’s the interesting thing about being friends. I just like looking over here and talking to you. Yeah, because she’s not right there. Actually, I look, when I talk to her, a lot of times I look over here. Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. I’m doing the mirror opposite. Oh, okay. That’s like a little bit of a deep cut on your part. Okay. The thing that you don’t that’s great is that I’ve got a mirror right there in the corner. You see that right where I can see her? Yeah. Do you see that? You can’t, you can’t see it ’cause your glasses are on off. Okay. Yeah. I don’t need glasses. I’m tall. Bringing kids to a no kids ceremony. Uh, that is the worst. Is Jacob’s wedding a no kids ceremony? Yes. I don’t think it, it explicitly has stated that anywhere. It’s implied. But I also don’t know any kids in his life. It’s implied. Um, this is literally violating a rule. That somebody is set up. If somebody says, yeah, that’s, that’s bad. So this is pretty bad. We’re gonna leave it over here, which is very bad. Leave them in the car. One, one time. Uh, I, I would’ve never said something like that, by the way. Oh, you know, one time, uh, Christy and Link went to a wedding and Chrissy left Link in the car. Link? Link. Her husband. Yeah. Left her, left him in the car. I don’t think he knew the, the people that well. It sounds like maybe Link decided to stay in the car. He might have, he might have had a book he was reading. Proposing to someone at the wedding. Huge mistake. Huge mistake because you’re literally taking, stealing the thunder. You’re taking all, all of the, the, the wedding bliss. You can’t do, you can’t do that. Stevie, have you ever done that? Only a few times in my life. Okay. Are you eating something, Stevie? What you eat back there? Yeah. Whatcha eating? I got when I went and you, you know this about me. If I am hungry, my stomach growls really loud. Yes. And then it just is a disturbance. So you’re looking too far. You weren’t supposed to hear me crunching. I guess that’s also disturbance, but that’s why I’m eating something. I didn’t hear, I didn’t hear crunching. I just heard, um, I. You actually — Oh, mumbley. Little something. It was a little garbled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You, that time you ended up looking back like this. Don’t do that. That’s too far. She’s not there. Oh, okay. She’s more here. Uh, yeah. You can’t, uh, you know, uh, before they went to, um, Christie’s sister’s wedding, Christie and Link found out that, uh, they were expecting. Mm-hmm. They were expecting their third child, I believe it was, but they decided not to say anything at the wedding. ’cause they’re great people. Those Neal’s are great people. They’re considerate and they don’t like to steal people’s thunder. Mm. You know? So they kept it under wraps. But there was a special glow about Christie that I think it got out. So how long did she wait to tell her? Um. The next day. The next day, the next day. That’s acceptable. Yeah. Uh, I think proposing to someone is worse than bringing kids. I don’t. Even though you’re violating a rule. I don’t what happens is that the kids are there the whole time. What if you have well-behaved children? But I don’t Must be real now. Link well-behaved kids. Hmm, hmm hmm. I listen, the kids are there the whole time ruining the whole thing. If you propose, it’s just for the moment. And if it’s late enough, that’s okay. If it’s early, that’s a problem. Proposing to someone. Now, you don’t wanna do it early, you wanna go late. This, this is during a ceremony. After they cut the cake, you can propose to someone. Oh, really? I don’t think so. Yes. Kids will leave early though. By the way. I think that if you were asked of any married couple or a couple that was getting married, you have to choose, again, one of y’all, we all have to commit to one of these things, right? So if they were like, are you, do you want somebody to bring kids to your no kids ceremony, or do you want them to propose sometime during that night? Well, there’s not gonna be a rule that says don’t propose to anybody. It’s an unspoken rule. I know it is, but it’s so obvious. It doesn’t even need to be stated is that’s why it’s worse. Let’s come back to it getting too drunk at the reception. This happens at every wedding. Somebody does this. This seems like one that one of us should sign up for. Yeah, I’ll do it. Because we’re all staying, we’re all staying there that night. We’re not, we don’t have to drive back or anything. I think this is a sign of a good party. Yeah. That means that means things are working out. We’re gonna move that down here. Can we all three just choose that one? No, I can, well, I think it would be a little bit of a spectacle if the three of us got too drunk. No, let’s just, let’s just get as drunk as we’ve ever gotten. The three, the, the three of us at. Let’s just cause a scene at the reception. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about that? Mm-hmm. You like that? It’d be fun just one night. Our kids will like it too. ’cause they’ll be there. Oh yeah. My whole family. My whole family is coming. Objecting during the wedding as a joke. Okay. Oh, it’s kinda like when you told him at TSA that you had a gun. Yeah. Yeah. But I did that pre 9/ 11. Okay. I did that pre 9/ 11. He still didn’t go over well, it did not go over well. How dumb can you get? Yeah, I was trying to be funny for my new girlfriend and her dad, uh, and, uh, we were– Nothing like getting detained, to bring the laughs. It was her to her dad, my girlfriend and I, and um, we were going through security and I was just being a dummy. I was in college. It was pre nine 11. It was back when you could take a gun on a plane. No, you couldn’t. Uh, but I, as I walked up to the officer, I said, would you like my gun? And, uh, it is funny. I mean, that’s funny. I don’t care who you are. He said, uh, sir, would you like to retract your statement? Well, it was a joke. I will retract it. But it wasn’t retract and did, and I did say, I was like, I’m just kidding. He said, sir, would you like to retract your statement? I was like, yes, and that was the end of it. But if you did that now you’d be at the airport for hours. Oh God. You’d miss your flight. Oh yeah, you get detained. You get questioned as you should. It was like that time that I tried to buy booze and I didn’t have my. Booze. Booze, and I didn’t have my license. This is at, this is at Coachella and, and, um, okay. So very, why are you acting like it was a really, really long time ago. It was like that time a few weeks ago, and here’s a, trying to buy booze. It is a, it’s, well, that’s a distant memory. I will tell you that. You never have your license. Why do you even– I don’t want to lose it!I. He has everything in his purse. That a man has on his, on himself as an adult. But there was pick pockets at Coachella. And the last thing I want is someone to pick my wallet outta my fanny pack. So I didn’t carry it, I pay with my phone. Oh, oh. Tap to pay. Tap that pay. Okay. This was purposeful is what you’re claiming. This was post nine 11. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. You don’t need your license. Um, and I get up there and I’m like, well, you don’t have the, they would send you to a place an ID check, and then you would just have a thing that would then they could quickly serve your drink. Well, that would’ve been convenient, but I, I don’t go to ID checks. Um, right. You know, I, I, I’m a man of mystery. I’m not a man of this is me. So I didn’t do that. And then I get up there and I’ve been waiting in this line for a little bit, and I said to the, I said to the, the guy, and then another guy comes up because I’m holding up the line and I’m like, well, I, I, I didn’t get one of those wristbands. I didn’t, I didn’t, I forgot. I have the ones from the previous two days. And by the way, the way that I got those was trying to buy booze and then saying I didn’t have one, and then they would give me one. So it worked two days in a row, two days in a row. But the third day the guy was like, um, do you have your id? I was like, no, I don’t wanna lose it. And then he said, well, I said, what? But he, and then what did he say? He said, are you saying you’re of age? And I was like, I took my hat off. I was like, look at me. Of course. And he was like, are you saying you’re over age? Over age? Over 21? And I was like, yeah. He was like, can you say that you’re over 21? I was like, what is happening here? All of a sudden he said, I have to saw magic words. And I said, yes, I am over 21. It’s that thing where they say cops can’t lie about it. Yeah. Oh. So that proves that you’re– Oh, you could have been a cop. Yeah. Oh yeah. He thought I was a narc. Yeah. Buying booze for my underage son. I mean, most of the, uh, most of the middle aged men at Coachella are cops. Just like, oh, that’s why I was so unpopular. Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s, I was, I mean by the, that’s why I don’t go by the end of the weekend. I was like, uh, can I take your picture with your friends? Can I, can I say hello? Everybody was just scattered left and right. Yeah. Wearin’ flip flops to a ceremony that’s not on the beach. Not a problem. It’s outta sight most of the time. Uh-uh This is innocuous. No, no. We’ve talked about this. But flip flops could be– Well, that was the airport. No, you just, there’s, you can’t, you can’t, you, you, you gotta pick your place for flip flops. If somebody confronts me, then I’m gonna say something about the podiatrist. I’ll make ’em feel bad. You know, I have a, I have plantar fasciitis or something. I’m sorry. I mean, I’m sorry, but this is all I can do. I’m, I mean, I watch a lot of, uh, there’s a lot of like, uh, TikTok weddings where the bride has on flip flops. Have you seen. I mean like backyard weddings. Yeah. Well, Stevie, you seen any of that? Well, too, too far? Too far? Too far. Too far, too. The bride, you know, I’m, we’re, we’ve talked about the difference in feet. Uh, but you know what, I don’t wanna harp on it, I’m sure the comment section of that video was terrible. But I’m just saying. Women feet are better than men feet. I mean, can we not all agree on that? Yes. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Uh, but I’m gonna leave it there for now. Bringing someone you just met as a plus one. Huh? I, it’s not that bad. I, I think that’s okay. If that’s your only option. I mean, I don’t recommend it for you as an individual, but for the person, for the person whose wedding it is, why do they care? Why do they care? Why do you care? Stay out of it. It’s a bad idea for you because it puts a weird, what is the problem? It puts a big, a lot of pressure on if, like, you meet somebody and one of your first dates is a wedding, it’s like, what are you trying to say? Uh, that’s not good, but it doesn’t matter to the groom and the bride. It’s just, it’s just strange judgment. But yeah, I, I think the flip, I, you think this is, this is better than the flip flops? Yeah. So as is, as is getting too drunk at the reception, I remember that one. Objecting during the wedding as a joke is incredibly disruptive, worse than kids. You’re making an ass of yourself if you’re doing that. They don’t even say that anymore. I think. Wait, wait, wait. You didn’t say the part about speak now or forever hold you Peace. And I had a joke prepared. So can you, can you roll that back? You know, that’s something you would do, um, stand up at a wedding? If you were Link, if you were being me, right? Yeah. That’s not gonna happen on my watch, but I think that that’s the worst possible thing now. Yeah. That’s, that’s, that’s which one of us could stand up at Jacob’s wedding and do this though. This right here is similar energy though. The like standing up and objecting and then No, not I’m looking at the wrong thing. Or proposing at, during the ceremony. During the ceremony, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If it said during the ceremony. Proposing to the ceremony, proposing to someone during the ceremony. That’s crazy. That’s wild. That would be worse than objecting. They’re like going through their thing and you’re like, wait! Wouldn’t that, didn’t that happen on Friends? What if you did it as an objection? Wait. Before this happens, I have something that I would like to do. And then you then you do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be worst. It’s a twofer. That would be the worst. Oh, so that is the worst. You’re stacking ’em up. Yeah. Those two together. And your kids are there from your first marriage. Yeah. You got, you got, you got your young kid on your back. Pig. You’re giving a, you’re giving a horsey ride. What do you call that? Piggyback ride. It’s a pig piggyback. Up here is not piggyback. Piggybacks here. Down here. Oh, if it’s on your shoulders, you got a kid on your shoulders. That’s a good question. You got a kid on your shoulders. You’re proposing to someone. What is that called? What’s the, what’s the piggyback equivalent of a kid on the shoulders? Shoulder pig. No animal carries their young on their shoulders, I think is what word? Hold on. There’s a whole Reddit thread about this. Kangaroos do kangaroos. Riding on the shoulder. It’s just called riding on the shoulder. We need to invent a name. A shoulder ride needs a name. What is something? A fun name for kids. Something that rides on top of something else that we can use that as like the name for it. Like like kids in a trench coat, trying to get into an R-rated movie. Yeah, that’s shorter than that. So like trench, trench coat, kid trench coating. It does a, it still implies a little, that sounds like it might be an urban dictionary thing. Mm-hmm. Trench coating. I don’t know what, I don’t wanna know what trench coating is. Uh, we can do this. This is an important mission. Uh, I. Literally no one else in the animal kingdom puts their young on their shoulders because it’s dangerous. There’s probably some monkeys to do it. Chicken fighting, that’s when it happens. I mean, no, that’s, that’s human. Human chicken fighting, chicken fight. But you have to be, you have to be participating in that particular exercise in order to qualify it that way. Non-competitive human chicken fight position. Yeah. Why is it not called something like, Hey, you want a piggyback ride? Everybody knows what that is. Elicit concert. You want a shoulder– Configuration? You want a shoulder ride? That also sounds like something shoulder ride. Urban dictionary. You want a, you want a shoulder ride? Want a shoulder ride? Mm-hmm. Um, come on guys. We’re not giving up on this. We’re not looking for an out. What other, we’re trying to find the answer. What, what other species could do that I could, you could see a few monkeys stacked. Stacked like that. Maybe. Maybe it’s some, oh, did you have something funny, Carney? Oh, Troy Sivan. Uh, what did it on his album cover? It seems like a prairie dog. And I think the guy on his shoulders didn’t have on pants. Well, you know, in order to really, the act of it sometimes is to get like a better, to be taller for the kid to be able to see something. Yeah. So perhaps it’s not about the ride so much as the. Look, look. Baboons do it. Yeah. But the baboon is on all fours. But it’s on the shoulders. Is there a particular culture that did it that we can commandeer their cultural identity to make a frivolous term for wear? Wearing your kid on your shoulder. A shoulder seat. Shoulder seat, peak. Shoulder seat. Shoulder seat. You wanna grab a shoulder seat? You have to stay in this accent. Shoulder seat. I just think it’s a monkey neck ride. Monkey neck. The monkey’s on your back though. That’s the whole other thing. Shoulder seat. Shoulder seat. It’s got the word shoulder in it. Shoulder your seated shoulder. It’s the only two words. Shoulder seat, piggyback ride. It’s less syllables than that shoulder seat. You gotta have ride in there. Well, I’m saying shoulder ride. Let’s go with shoulder ride. Yep. I’m not happy about it, but I guess we can go with shoulder ride. I got two of them. I got two shoulders is what I’m saying. I could take two people at once. That’s not how it works. They got a straddle. A double shoulder ride. Straddle seat. A half saddle, double shoulder ride, shoulder straddle. Then I mean, ’cause then you’re facing each– Shoulder saddle. What’s happening with the ears at that point? Shoulder saddle. Shoulder. Saddle. Yeah. Yeah. Huh? It’s Stevie. Yeah. Shoulder saddle. Watch the Rhett and Link Marry you Special. Available now at mythicalsociety.com.