We’re ranking the worst, tiny annoying injuries. Welcome to Good Mythical More. Yes, yes, yes. Tiny annoying injuries like paper cuts. This is like the poster child for little annoying injuries. We are going to rank the worst of the worst paper cut. It’s amazing how much a paper cut can hurt. It’s really, really, really bad right when it happens. And then it can be kind of annoying. An annoying, annoying for a while. Yeah. Because then you’re like, you’re sticking your hand and you know, like you’re trying to, you, you dropped your wedding ring and down in your vodka Happens all the time. She gotta pull that out. Whoops. I gotta get that outta my vodka. And it stings. And you remember that happened and it stings and you remember it happened. But is it an immediate curse, loudly yell type of injury? It’s like a, it gives me that visceral, I know internal cringe feeling, thinking about that, that injury. Like, like, you know what I’m talking about like that? Yes. Because it’s not great. Because you’ve sliced through flesh and you just know that something’s gonna ooze out and it’s, oh, it just makes me so peaky feeling. And the worst thing about it is that you’re blindsided because there was no knife around. You know, if you chopping something and you cut yourself, you got this nasty feeling of, I’ve created a ditch in my skin with this sharp thing. Right, and I should’ve known better. But then when you’re just handling papers, you know, you, you’re not ready to be, you’re not ready to be slitted. So would you rather be like, like cut with a little pocket knife or paper cutted? I’d rather be cut with a pocket knife. I’m more ready for it. If I have a pocket knife, I feel like I’m more ready for it. Like if somebody said, I’m going to use this little pocket knife. To torture you, or I’m gonna use this file filing cabinet full of paper to torture you. I think I’d choose the, the, the, the, uh, the pocket knife. I might choose the paper in that case, but right now it’s the worst thing that we, oh, sunburn. Now what you think about this? Hey, listen, sunburn sunburn while it’s happening. You’re having the time of your life. You, you, you don’t know that it’s happening. You’re having the time of your life. And then if it’s bad enough, it disrupts sleep. It, it, it affects you for days. You can’t receive a hug. I mean, a paper cut is horrible at first, and then there’s some moments of unpleasantness. Mm-hmm. But sunburn, sunburn, good god, man. I’ve had such bad sunburn. Woo. And it’s just, and then it starts peeling. I’m, I’ve gotten physically sick from having such bad sunburn. Yes. Like sun poisoning, they call that. Yeah. So really the question here philosophically mm-hmm. Is a really acute high amplitude injury versus an annoying injury that lasts for days. I think the net effect of a sunburn is worse, is worse than a paper cut. I, I, I also think you should take into account. The amount of guilt and shame you feel? Yes. ’cause it’s only your fault. Right, exactly. Paper cut’s not necessarily your fault. Sunburn is like, you knew, you knew you were going to the lake completely preventable. You idiot. And, and don’t, don’t go give me that story of you’ve ne you never heard of a sunburn before. You know what? And it’s not just the personal shame, the personal shame. I’m not buying that. It’s you are ridiculed. By other people and it’s deserved, like so Shepherd came back from, uh, a day at the beach with his friends. He’s a 17-year-old boy. Mm-hmm. Almost a man going to the beach, going to the beach. And he’s sunburned like you wouldn’t believe. And and I do I have sympathy or am I angry at him? I’m angry at him. I think you’re angry as I’m a good dad. Should be maybe disappointed too. I’m disappointed. I’m like Shepherd, you know better than this. So you get punished and humiliated by your parents. And if he came home with a bunch of paper cuts, I would be like, oh, let me see it. Say how does, how, how did that happen? Tell me more. Yeah. I didn’t wanna know anything about his sunburn day. When were you around paper? You need to curtail your, I’m proud of you, son. Your scrapbooky. You’ve been touching paper again. Bring, bring in one from over there at random. Okay. So let’s see what we, so at random we’ve got eyelash in the eye. Okay. Well that’s annoying. It’s all fun and games until you’re determined to get this thing out and you can’t, and you’re just pushing it deep into the eye ditch. If you get it all the way behind the eye though, it’s fine. What? Yeah, if you push it behind it, it’s kinda like putting dirty clothes under your bed. It’s like that woman that had like 17 contacts Oh, in, in her eye, and they kept pulling ’em out. You see that one completely preventable, but not this eyelash in the eye isn’t preventable. What’s behind, I mean. Can you push something all the way into the back of your eyeball? And then is that where your brain is? No. You don’t know what’s behind, behind your eyeball is a little man who, when, um, with a squeegee? Well, no. So what happens is some, your eye sees something and he sees it on a little projector, and then he turns around and tells your brain what it is. And that’s why sometimes you don’t see exactly what you think you see. Oh, because sometimes the little man lies. So, but you have to, and when you blink, the eyes go roll to the back of the head and they transmit it to the guy. That’s why we blink so much. Right. Is it one guy or is there a guy behind you? There’s a one. Well actually some people have one guy and he goes back and forth between the two eyes real quick. It’s like a guy and some people have a guy on each and some, some people have girls back there. Yeah. Yeah. I have a woman. I have a woman in my left eye and she’s too smart. What you want is a woman in one eye and a man in the other eye. You want a nice balance. But not everybody gets that. Jesus had that. This is the, this is, this is fine. This is not a big deal. This is pretty low on our list. This makes me think we should have had a orbi in the ear. Um, anybody else remember that you should have, because that was a, that was a bad time for you. That was annoying. Especially ’cause it wasn’t in there. It wasn’t even in there, there, it never was actually in there. Ooh. Ooh. I don’t, I don’t like the picture associated with this one because it makes you think about how bad this hurts. Stubbing toe on furniture. Oh, this is real bad. Oh, these are some finger toes. Yeah. These, these remind me of what I got going on. This is, you about to say this. Look at, this is long and I don’t, I don’t like, I don’t like the gap that’s happening right here. That’s enough for another toe right there. Like, come. Just push those together next time. Well, they have, it’s healthy to have a gap. You know, that’s actually the gap is for the little man that lives on your toes. That tells the big toe what the little doe did. Okay. And he goes in between each, everybody’s, he’s very small though. Little toe got hit. Little toe, little toes, down. Yeah. We gotta go back for little toe. And, and if there’s, if you have one of those guys. And he has to get from your right foot to your left foot. That’s a real problem for him. ’cause he has to go all the way up the leg, cross your, your genitalia and go back down to the other leg. What did Jesus have? He had a man on one foot. And a woman on the other. Yeah, of course it’s perfect. Um, this is horrible. This is so much worse than a paper cut. You can’t, you don’t feel, I mean this sunburn being your own fault is gonna be hard to be, here’s how to know which one’s worse. If I told you that you have to do one of these to yourself today, so this afternoon you gotta pick a time to stub your toe. My Or you gotta go get sunburn. I was stub my toe because it’s, it’s over, but it lasts longer. Oh. Well, I mean we gotta get into like the, this is where you, because you got aloe for this. Ain’t nothing you can do for this. The stabbing of the toe gives me the same internal cr like physical cringe that the, um, paper cut does. But on a, on another level, yes, the sunburn is painful for a sustained period of time, but you don’t get that. Like, yeah, as long as you don’t move, you know. I know. And you’re sitting there, it, you’ve stubbed your toe. You’ve got that initial signal and then it gets worse. It hurts worse. Yeah. And then you’re just kind of, you get sick at yourself. You’re kind of standing there. Oh man. And then you have to look, you have to look at it because there’s a moment. If you stub it real hard, there’s a moment where you’re like, is it gonna be, is it is? Yeah. Is it gonna be, is it limp? I don’t know. Did I break it? Did I lose it? Did I break it? Did I lose the nail? Is it gone entirely? You can take skin. Have you seen those people that strengthen their shins, like those martial arts people on TikTok? Who like find ways to like swing things down from ropes into their shins. Not have you seen this? I understand. But they strengthen the different parts of their body that with you, I guess what I’m getting at is you could stub your toe every day until you don’t even feel it. You could paper cut yourself every day. No. ’cause you could always lose a toe. The toes are the testicles of the feet. Well, that’s true. I’m not gonna argue with that. Stepping on a Lego Classic. This is a, this is a, this is a pain of the modern era. You know, back in the Renaissance, they didn’t know worry about this, right? They had other stuff. They were stepping on paint brushes and, uh, glass and glass blown. Glass blown glass. Um, now we gotta step on Legos. Not as bad as a stubbing. This is pretty awful. But rarely, if ever. A serious thing, and I don’t think it’s worse than a paper cut because a paper cut involves blood. Yeah. You got skin breakage and it’s, so, stepping on a Lego is not that bad. Not that bad in the scheme of things. Okay. What about getting your, um, your pocket caught on a, um, a doorknob? So, I’ve, I’ve been walk, I was walking in my house and I was walking with a lot of intent in my. My pocket got caught on the, on a doorknob? Yeah. And I was just stopped. I was like, stopped in my tracks, like walking, walking. Whoa. Like that. And I literally, my pants were caught on the door, but it didn’t hurt. It scared. It didn’t hurt. It scared me. It scared me. So I would say that’s, that would be I, the one, I mean, I walked past this door thousands of times and it’s never reached out and grabbed me to have the door do that was very scary. But it was probably better than all of these options unless it puts a hole in your pants. No, I mean it’s, it didn’t rip your pants. Well, I’m, I wasn’t saying it’s worse than these. Well, but I’m saying it seemed like you were trying to, it should be on the list. You were raising the issue. Brain freeze. If you talk about sustained pain, like if all of a sudden you had the worst brain freeze and you were like, you gotta have this for five minutes. You might just want to just, it’s not that bad dude. It hurts, but the peak of brain freeze for five minutes. How long does it actually, it doesn’t, but that doesn’t ask, how long have you actually had a brain freeze for seconds? Yeah. So that’s why I think it’s pretty low. I think it’s like five seconds. I think it’s pretty low. It’s like, um, a wasabi or horseradish burn. Yeah. Amount of time. You know that it’s gonna end when you know it’s gonna end. Knowing that it’s gonna end is very, very helpful. Hmm. If the stubbing, the, the toe. Where are we at over here? Tell, tell us. You know, that’s gonna end, but it’s so, but it’s so bad and there’s so many different things. I mean, right now he does some version. In terms of personal shame though, you usually have a brain freezer, a wasabi situation in front of other people. And so yeah. You knew you had a milkshake. Yeah. But. But it’s not embarrassing. No. Well, it depends on the face that you do. And you’re supposed to grab, you’re supposed to grab the back of your neck and you’re supposed to put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. And if you’re with the right group of people, you can let ’em know you’re having brain freeze. But if you’re in a business meeting, you can’t let ’em know. Yeah. If you’re not ice cream social, you have to have complete a complete isolated experience, brain freeze, and you’re just like, that’s right. That’s right, Chuck. What’s just happened to you? I vote nay, you at a town council meeting, you get brain freeze. You bring your milkshake to the town Council meeting. Mm-hmm. You don’t do that. We got one more hiding over here. Biting tongue inside of cheek. Oh my God. Now we got somebody here has a lot of experience with this. I have a quota apparently. I think I’ve been like cursed by some sort of. Demon that I have to, I have to bite my tongue. Once every two and a half weeks. It’s just a game of chance, my friend, and then I gotta bite my cheek once every two months. You probably bite your tongue the same frequency that the average person does per bite, but you choose so many times that you up your odds and so you just end up doing it more often. I’ve bitten every part of my tongue, like there have been times when my molars have bit the back of my tongue. When was the last time you did it? Like a week and a half ago? I’m due. This happens. I bit my tongue so hard at a restaurant once that I went into the bathroom and passed out. It’s awful. I believe it. And there’s, because you were bleeding, there’s lasting effects here. Bleeding. And also, you know how, um, when something’s swollen in your mouth, your brain processes it as like being a lot bigger than it. Actually is. So I bit it so hard. It started bleeding and then it swelled immediately and I was like, I, I don’t know. My tongue’s gonna just clog up my whole body. I might as well pass out right now. Yeah. ’cause your tongue guy got too excited when he sent the message. He, he was like, I don’t know how big this thing’s gonna get. I’m gonna go to the brain and say it’s this. It’s, it’s really big. And that made you passed out your tongue guy let you down. This is the worst one. Because it hurts so bad and your mouth does that thing when you bite your tongue, where it’s like, don’t move anything. So it’s like, and then like your whole, your whole mouth like opens and freezes and if you’re, so it won’t happen again immediately. This says a lot about how bad you must do this, because I do this maybe once a year, twice a year, and it’s really bad, but. I’m not chewing so intensely. It just like, oh crap. That, and then literally a minute later, I forget about it. I’ve, I’ve thought I’ve severed my tongue at certain points. Your tongue and you, and you’re in front of everybody. Like the worst part is being in so much pain and like your face being frozen and you’re like, could you bite your tongue in a business meeting? And somebody’s, I’m sure I have. And then there’s like, everybody’s talking and you know, you got this dumb, I, I, I bit. The inside of my mouth face. It’s just there’s a lot of shame. Not a good look. It’s a lot of shame. It’s not a good look. There’s a lot of shame. It seems pretty. I mean, that’s the worst. That’s the worst for me, dude. You ever bitten your tongue while you had a sunburn? Probably. Mm. Did you know that you’re not supposed to rub your eyes? Yeah. I saw the MRI God of what happens to your eyes when you’re rubbing it? It’s like the worst news. What? Like Yeah, it pushes them in. It, it does something bad to, you know how crush good the man and the woman feels to rub your eyes. And sometimes you just get caught in that like, oh God, I’m gonna rub my eyes. It’s bad. It’s really bad for you. It crushes the man and the woman. The man and the woman suffocate for a little bit. If you keep going too hard and then you’re left with one. That’s how you get down to one. You rub one too hard and they suffocate back there. Now you got. You got a woman or a man back there just trying to do double duty. Right. And mourning the loss of the other one. Yeah. Because they are romantically attached. Mm-hmm. When you sleep and you close your eyes, REM, they’re moving around this ’cause they’re having sex back there behind your eyes. And then when you blow your nose, they hold hands. You think that lesbians have straight eye, straight eye, uh, members? Uh, your eye people Have no relation to your sexual orientation. Okay. Yeah, they’re symbiotes. You know, this is probably a good time to tell you that both of my eye people are women. And yes, they are in a lesbian relationship. Give a gift. Get a gift at Mythical. Buy merch and get 10% off all Mythical Society, or join Mythical Society and get 10% off merch for a limited time shop now.