I’m lonely well wanted somebody to talk to well you’re already in the backs let’s get back in and let’s just hang out okay where we going I don’t know but we’re gonna go fast okay so you’re gonna present a gifted visual aid yeah read Newbridge walking up a little more where we can find ways to talk more about this handle on there I mean I don’t need to visually you don’t need to visual aid well you said you’re gonna show a third way yeah okay I feel pretty strongly about this just as strongly as you feel about over and I felt so strong about over and I would I didn’t even have all those reasons I just felt it in my soul that that that was right well and let me say first I know and I am right I agree that you were right that it is the better way but I’m talking about no I’m talking about a third way a third way of approaching a problem like this because you made an interesting statement at the beginning of your presentation and it was I’m an industrial engineer uh-huh and you’re not your qualifications for being an industrial engineer I have a degree in industrial engineering you oh no no no I’m not an industrial engineer but what I’m saying is is that personality-wise you wouldn’t have to have a degree in industrial engineering to make this observation or make this argument or to have this strong feeling about it because it’s a personality type just like you said OCPD right hmm not only do you believe that there’s a best way but you have a problem with the opposite way yeah so but but it acts me it doesn’t make me angry but it makes me uncomfortable here I believe that we’re talking about a value system I’m not talking about moral values and I believe we’re talking about a value system a way that you structure your life and I believe that if you look at different qualities that you can have as a person efficiency should not be valued over flexibility I believe that flexibility makes you a person that is easier to get along with is easier to have a relationship with is easier to work with etc now that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t I mean I’m using this as an example now I don’t care about it so I don’t I’m just I’m literally going to just put it on there and now that we’ve talked about this and you presented a really good argument I’m gonna like think about it when I look at it my watch the same way she doesn’t care and look at it and be like oh it’s over I’m going to experience the benefits of over and then if I accidentally put it on over-under I’m gonna be like let’s experience the benefits of under I’m gonna be like running it like this and you know like a cat that can’t turn it but what I’m saying it experience the benefits experience the benefits okay in the moment but I’m saying for someone who’s OCPD I think that you can do a self treatment little therapy and you can be like I prefer over but every other role I’m going to put on under so I have to deal with the problem I’m going to force myself to deal with a problem that I think is inefficient because that’s what life is full of life is full of things that get on your nerves but if you give yourself these little obstacles to overcome and experience you’ll be better at being flexible in life when it comes to things that you really need to be flexible because you know you’re not like this I don’t think that you’re an incredibly inflexible person I mean part of that has to do with the fact that we work so closely together and we into when two people were doesn’t regardless of personality two people who work this closely together have been friends this long if we were one of us was really inflexible we wouldn’t be doing this we would’ve quit a long time ago well no one can you can’t have children and be totally right and we’re married and we have children so the flexibility has been worked in a lot but I’m just saying that there may be there are some people out there who little things like this matter so much to them my challenges flip it up on yourself because flexibility in the long run is more important than efficiency especially when it comes to toilet paper well right I think about a large scale fast-food operation where we need to like make a little bit of more cheese faster or something like that in that case efficiency is the way to go I decide this is toilet I can agree that you can’t make a sweeping I will agree in the specifics I think that there is a it is a red flag that there is a problem if if you go into someone else’s house and rearrange anything yeah okay that’s that’s going too far admitting that that’s going too far but you can’t make a sweeping statement that flexibility is better than efficiency that’s ridiculous it is is that what you said in relation okay so let me think about that in relationships flexibility is better than efficiency yeah like I said if it’s a fast-food operation I want the industrial engineer there well I only like what’s the best that’s not I mean okay since it’s we’re just coming off a vacation season there’s as with all things you there has to be balance and you can’t at certain points you have to say okay if we’re going to go and take this amazing tour on our vacation then we have to have an efficient mobilization of a family or if we’re going to be if we’re just flexible oh we may not get to experience that I completely agree with so there’s a balance at an amusement park I’m usually the guy who’s who is deciding where to go like for my family I’ll be I’ll set the itinerary what that’s efficiency I said you know I and I value it but I’m saying but you see I don’t get steak yet but I’m saying that I have a problem with efficiency let’s just say I have a problem with efficiency I feel like I’m actually pretty organized compared to the average person but I’m pretty flexible I’m pretty easygoing pretty laid-back I could challenge myself to be more efficient in certain things like for instance maybe my application is you know what I’m going to do I’m going to make a decision to be over and I’m going to do it because I can I can exercise discipline and efficiency in this area of my life I can gain control but for someone who quality that they they value control so much actually losing control in a part of their lives that doesn’t really matter digital editing I don’t disagree with that I mean I I said that in the episode I said for me it might be good to put it that way as a form of therapy mm-hmm so don’t disagree with that but you just but it’s when you just can’t say it in kind of a blanket in relationships flexibility is more important than efficiency but which one I did agree with which one is going to be a sticking point and a start of conflict more often someone who’s flat too flexible or someone who’s too control is better at efficiency is one thing but the application of someone who hasn’t been controlling when you when you well know I think that when you impose your efficiency on some when you seek to control someone else then that creates conflict but so they’re not synonymous in efficiency and control are not missing here’s a hypothetical they’re not the oh my wife and I or my children and I ever have an argument about toilet paper over/under how many squares have you ever had an argument with one of your family members about toilet paper um no but I’ve almost had it with coworkers everyone in my family is in agreement but I but I could seem to recall that you got you high and I switch it at work you had to muffin you had to address this issue with your kids about how many squares to use right that’s a different thing but that’s us but that’s not a fit that’s a don’t kill tree I’m not saying our clog the toilet which is half been confusing the issue every other week you’re more efficient and your aunt it is more efficient you probably use less toilet paper that night rolling is not a good thing but it can lead to conflict we’re talking about toilet paper but you substitute toilet paper with something more important that impacts more people and applying those same standards I’m saying if you’re if you’re really flexible you have to think about what areas can I be more rigid in in order for to serve people better or whatever and if you’re really in flexible and rigid yeah you can’t just be like efficiency is always the best you have to think about the impact it has on other people I just think the I don’t disagree what you’re saying except that it’s kind of an indictment I’m not saying it I preface the whole thing by anything I do not think that this was a problem with you I think that I think it gives you a problem with something there who hasn’t had other times of their life that have made them more flexible if you have a personality that can is honed is sensitive to efficiency and that makes you a controlling person then that’s not conducive to relationships it that might be your weakness in your closest relationships that might be the source of conflict in your most a whereas if you’re a slob and you just let everything go or if that may all that may be a source of conflict in your closest relationships right if you’re if I agree you is a whole balance thing the opposite of flexibility is not efficiency the opposite of flexibility is not control is rigidity rigidity rigidity is rigidity right Oh with an unwillingness to change an unwillingness to adapt I just spit something right between your hands and you know what I’m fine with that yeah because you’re flexible I said you were flexible I’m using this as an as an opportunity to raise some questions amongst the mythical beasts I’m not to indict you or anyone Cheers yes I’m else I think you I think we both have things to learn here what have you learned about yourself I said I’m gonna be an over her you’ve convinced me after talking through it but I would but I shouldn’t put it on I shouldn’t impose that on strangers or get upset like if I don’t get upset about it it then that would be a problem but you change it in people’s homes I have I have a problem I have okay I don’t make a private i’ll start changing any people but I know that’s my application I noticed that next time I go to somebody’s house I don’t even kill my daughter gonna change it dueling’s because I don’t care I should change it I mean you didn’t care you shouldn’t change what you have another principle here do the opposite I’m hurt that you haven’t noticed that I’ve always been changing it at your house really yeah cuz I don’t know I don’t care I’m hurt by that I don’t know any changes you can flip it every day I’d be like we all know can we shake can we shake on it yeah people might think that we’re having an argument we’re not I mean what in handle was that a tantrum now he’s thrown attention