Abraham Wilkinson? Yes. I’m Dr. Cornish. I understand you’re dealing with some… I got a bad pain in my belly. This is the same pain my brother had and it wound up killing him. Yes, I see that on your chart. But I have good news. I like good news. I’ve developed a new procedure called surgery. Surger, what? And you’re going to be my very first patient. Will it help me? Well, what you’re dealing with, I believe, is a swollen appendix. You mean the alphabetical list in the back of a book? No, the organ in your body that needs to be removed. Removed? Removed, yes! So what I’m going to do is take this tiny scalpel and cut you open and find the troublesome appendix and remove it entirely. Doc, I’m in a lot of pain, this is no time for jokes. I couldn’t be more serious. What? Now lay down on that table. You’re a madman, couldn’t you just use leeches to suck my blood or put some cocaine droplets in my cornea like a normal doctor? I’ve never heard of a doctor adding new holes to people instead of fixing the ones that are already there. Yes, I am a doctor and luckily for you, I’m also a surgeon. That’s a doctor that heals people by cutting them open. That’s a new term I’ve invented and I really think it’ll catch on. It’s a lot better than my original name “knife mutilator for good”. Ahh! If you don’t do this, you will die. But if you let me cut you open and remove a part of you, you will live. Okay, so if it’s meant to help me, it won’t hurt, right? Oh, no no no, it will hurt very, very much. But you’ll be happy with it when it heals up in about 8 to 10 weeks. Can’t you just give me a little shock treatment for it or give me a steam-powered pelvic massage like the other doctor gave my wife to treat her hysteria? Nope, that doesn’t really work. I don’t know, maybe it’s just a stomachache. I mean, I probably ate some bad rabbit or something. Argh, I’m just gonna go home. Nonsense, your appendix is in there, that’s what hurts. So I shall slice your abdomen, use a metal tool to grab it, cut it away from the rest of your insides, remove it all and dispose of it. This is like some horror story, some Edgar Allan Poe monstrosity. And if you let a group of 30 people stand around in our medical amphitheatre to watch the entire procedure, I will also give you two dollars. Two dollars? Two dollars! Well, why’d you waste my time with all this doctor talk when you could have said two dollars? This table over here? Yes! When’s the crowd showing up? I’m ready! Two dollars!