Oh, here we are again, man! Yeah! I’m so excited to finally feel safe enough to go to the movies. Yeah! Both fully vaccinated, ready to enjoy the cinema. Okay, so what do we wanna see? Uh, how about Everything Is Everything? Oh no, no way! That’s a teenage coming-of-age story where both of the main characters have this rare terminal blood condition. I don’t want to see anything like that. Me neither. I mean, I miss movies because they’re an escape from reality. I don’t wanna see anything that’s too much of a downer. Let’s find something fun! What about Magic Is Delight? Uh, no! That’s a teenage coming-of-age story about two magicians that have a rare terminal blood condition. Hard pass! Alright, sorry! I don’t know what any of these movies are. What about the one that starts in 10 minutes Mr. Homebody? That sounds fine. No no. That’s a comedy, but it’s about the pandemic. I, I don’t wanna be thinking about the pandemic at all. Oh, yeah! The Great Toilet Paper Caper? Uh, no! It’s a dramedy about the toilet paper shortage at the beginning of the pandemic. Oh man! Why did the movie industry make so many downer movies? Were all the writers and directors in a bad mood over the past year or something? Yeah, I think so! I don’t know, I’m just ready to get into a good mood. Oh oh, Fast And Furious! That’s always been fun! And the new one Fast And The Furious: Furiously Fasting? No, that’s about Dom, Roman and Tej going on a hunger strike for socio-political change. I don’t even think there’s any racing in it. Damn it! Oh, Sleepless In Saskatchewan seems cute. Ah, what do you find cute about the biopic of Herbert Chidinski, the man with the longest recorded instance of insomnia? Nothing, I guess. Well, there’s a new Pixar movie, Heart. No, Pixar only makes deeply depressing movies about mortality now. Heart is about an anthropomorphized heart removed from its original owner after a car accident trying to be donated to a new home before it’s no longer a viable human organ. Gross! Yeah! Man, I want to see something to blow off some steam, nothing heavy. Lady Turd? Ah, a girl tries to find herself while also navigating her newly diagnosed IBS. Hmm, what about Friday Night Night Lights? Oh, you mean the one about the losing high school football team in Texas that has a chance of going to the championship but the star quarterback is too scared to play in the dark? Oh! What about Winnie The Pooh: The Final Chapter? Do you want to see Winnie The Pooh die? Uh huh! Spoiler alert! Well, there’s only one option left. Okay, that one? Yeah, I guess that’s fine. Okay, thank goodness. I’ll pay for the snacks. Oh, I’m excited! Yeah, I’m really glad we picked Rhett And Link Decide On A Movie. Yeah! Shush, it’s starting! So relatable! Oh, here we are again, man! Yeah! I’m so excited to finally feel safe enough to go to the movies. Yeah! Both fully vaccinated… Knew it was gonna happen!