Big, moisturous, spherical, filled with juice. His enthusiasm is catastrophically infectious. That’s where I come in and pick up the pieces. My name is Marty Buttons and I’m the principal aide to the Kool-Aid man. It ain’t an easy job but I do love it. He knocks it down and I put it up again. Kool, aka the Kool-Aid man, aka the notorious KAM, we all know he likes to smash through walls, oh yeah! I mean, it’s exciting at the time and he’s out there spreading the message of sugary colorful kiddie drink. But he’s a big guy. I mean, there’s some wide holes he’s making. Oh yeah! Well, the way it used to be, he’d bust through and then a few hours later you get to feeling a draft and you don’t know what to do about it. Evening rolls around, and you got all sorts of critters coming through that wall and getting in your trash and that is until I got brought on the team. See, I’m like the one-man Kool-Aid clean-up crew. I patch up the holes, I make the walls good as new, I clean up all the Kool-Aid spills. Marty Buttons? A true craftsman! This wall here is the one the Kool-Aid man busted through to surprise my kids with the good word of his powdered drink mix. I was star-struck. Who could think about a wall or the overall foundational damage to their home when in the presence of a huge celebrity like that? I mean, before this gig, I worked with the crew flipping houses and we would just patch small holes. Nothing like the huge holes that Big Red was leaving this wake. After he’d taken off and I had time to calm down, Marty was already there working on patching things up, just quietly doing his thing. I mean look at it, you would never know a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid brand drink mix had smashed through this wall with all his might. Some people give out free samples at a grocery store, standing at the end of an aisle like: hey, you want to taste this ham? That’s pretty boring, if you ask me. And the Kool-Aid man knows that, that was never his style. Oh yeah! It’s a beautiful thing, really, what what he does. It’s… I’m just honored that I’m that I’m a part of it. Heya! That was crazy! Wow it’s harder than it looks.