My friend Nigel has never had the Olive Garden. And that ends now. We all gotta eat and we all remember our first time. Please give a very special welcome to my friend Nigel Ng for his return to the show. Hey, Josh. Nigel. Welcome. Hi. Welcome to my Nissan. Oh, nice, nice. Yeah, yeah. Part of me feels really guilty about having you on the show before where we cooked your favorite foods and then we cooked you five different versions- Of fried rice. Uh-huh. Yeah. Complete with like, crab foam and caviar. And now, it’s Olive Garden in a Nissan. It’s depressing enough having Olive Garden. Can’t we just have it there? No, I feel like though if you ate Olive Garden in a nicer car, that would be even worse. If you eat an Olive Garden in a Range Rover, something very weird has happened in your life. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, that’s true. But can we, you don’t film this show at the restaurant itself, right? No, it turns out it gets really legally sticky if you do that. So, we just decided- Oh. That we’re gonna film inside my car and then hope that one day a car company wants to sponsor us. Okay. If you know any car companies that wanna sponsor us. Toyota, let’s do it. Come on. I wanna do this at like a 1983 Toyota Tercel. That’s my dream. That’s my dream studio. I don’t know what that car is. My dad drove one. We used to call it the pregnant roller skate. Okay. ‘Cause it drove like a pregnant roller skate. He once got pulled over for driving too slow on the road. And he was like, “My foot’s all the way down on the gas.” Wow. What a problem. Nigel, what do you know about the Olive Garden and how have you managed to avoid it? I know it’s an American institution. Right? Yeah, dude. Italian-American institution. Yeah. I know. Unlimited breadsticks, do they still do that? What if I told you? Oh! We have unlimited breadsticks. Oh shit. In the car. Feel how hot these are? Oh my God. These are straight from the restaurant. They do have unlimited breadsticks. They smell kinda good actually. They’re great. They’re just brushed in some sort of hydrogenated oil and garlic. Yeah. But then, the other thing that you get with all your meals. The signature Olive Garden salad. Oh, this is like a real signature thing? This really is. So, you get unlimited salad, soup, and breadsticks. And sometimes they’ll sell that as a whole meal. And it used to be 5.99 during lunch. And that was the greatest. So, I’d go in when I was like 16 years old. How much is it now? If you only get the breadsticks and a salad and the soup? I don’t know, man. I have other people buy my Olive Garden for me now. Wow. That’s the level of my career. Josh. And I’m very proud of it. I haven’t been, because you know, as a comic, I watch a lot of standup. And Olive Garden is like a classic joke topic. That’s so funny. You know, like a punchline. So I always thought, oh, someone’s waiting for you or something. Oh my God. I’m so sorry. This is our server, Lily. This is XO sauce lady. I remember her. Yes. I’ve switched to Olive Garden. No. Yeah. Yeah. Turns out Olive Garden’s giving her- My uncle loved your XO sauce. Uncle Roger are gonna kidnap her to cook for me. Tell me when. When. No, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I feel like I’m the Olive Garden veteran here. Oh, okay. You need more? You never tell them when. Okay. Yeah. Okay. They’re gonna stand at your table and they’re gonna do- Do you have a camera catching what’s happening on that? Oh, okay. Yeah, she’s- But you don’t have a closeup full camera, do you? Yeah. Lily, do you think this is indicative of your skills as a chef? And do you think they’re being put to the best use? Yes, they are. This is all that I’m capable of. What is this device? What is this Temu-looking- This the actual… It’s the actual one that they have at the Olive Garden. Really? Yes. Wow. My arm hurts. Okay when. Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you so much. Enjoy. You’re gonna come back for all three courses, right? Of course. Her device thing feels like one of those old school cars with the windows. Rolling down the window types. Dude, yeah. No, they really do that at your table though. They serve you the warmest red wine. It’s like they put it in a microwave. No closeup cam for the food today. But Olive Garden doesn’t deserve a close-up cam. They do have, these are actually the only olives on the Olive Garden menu or in the salad. They exist nowhere else. Oh wow. All the other olives are fake. Here, get you a nice closeup shot you can cut in. All right. Cheers. I mean, it’s a salad. Tastes like a salad. Break out the breadstick. Eat your salad, but break out the breadsticks ’cause want you to experience these while they’re hot and fresh. All right. Olive Garden breadstick. A lot of people have been asking me about my skincare routine. Mm-mm. Yeah. People do that when the camera can’t focus. But there’s just streaming on a silly GoPro, so everything it’s supposed to do is… I told you we really dropped the budget on this show. It’s a little phallic, right? This is like, it’s a really processed breadstick. Yeah. You know what I mean? This is nothing rustic and artisanal about this. Yeah. Nothing Italian about this. Mm. You’ll find there’s almost nothing Italian about the Olive Garden. I think you need the soup to go with this. Yeah. Because the breadstick it just, it’s one of those cheap breads that get gummy in your mouth. And mm, no. You need the soup to kinda soften it. The crazy thing is the breadsticks are free and they’re unlimited, but they’ll charge you something like 5.95 for a side of marinara sauce to dip it in. What? That’s where they make their money. 5.99 for sauce? Yeah. It’s crazy. Wow. It’s crazy. I’ve always wanted to go just get really messed up at an Olive Garden and party. Let’s throw you a proper, oh, you’re married already. But if you have a wedding coming up, guys, I just had a wedding, so- That’s right. Congratulations. Yeah. Throwing a wedding at an Olive Garden would be cool. I think you can get into Vogue with that. You could have gotten the big sponsorship deal from Olive Garden. But how much of your own wedding planning did you do? Oh, I think most of it was done by my wife. Tends to be the situation. Yep. She was the creative director. She had the vision until she broke down in anxiety one day, and then I came on board and started helping her out. So, that’s always the process, right? Not to, like, get into gender norms here, but that tends to be the man’s role in that, is when your wife or fiance has that breakdown, you have to step in. Yeah. And you do almost nothing still. Yeah. But this show of effort makes her feel better. That’s what I found in my own marriage. And I think she also did a very, I wouldn’t say elaborate, but she wanted to respect all our cultures, right? The Bengali culture, Chinese culture, and Western culture. So, it was a whole production, you know? She had to buy individual sarees for each wedding guest. Oh my god. Sarees and lehengas. Lehengas, like, the male version of- Yeah, yeah. Because she wanted all the color scheme to be coordinated. So, my best friend is Indian. He got married a couple months ago. And he is Hindu Gujarati and his wife is a Punjabi Sikh. And so, they basically had two separate weddings with all the different garb. But his parents flew back to their hometown in India to buy us custom Indian clothing. But then, we still needed two other outfits. Me and all the other white dudes who have never done this. And we were like, “Yeah, we’ll just go out and buy ’em.” And my buddy goes like, “Don’t do that.” So, he goes back to his childhood house, gets all his hand-me-downs and drives them to all of us. Oh wow. Rather than risk his white friends getting terrible Indian clothing. The guy running the saree shop’s gonna be, “Oh no, another one. I’m gonna have to explain what a saree is. Ugh.” Just do everyone a favor. Just eBay it. A hundred percent. Or have your friends provide it. A hundred percent. I feel like you’re putting a lot of this on her, but, like, did you dream of having that wedding that was written up by Vogue? This big beautiful wedding? No, I didn’t even know that was a possible thing. I thought it was like an A-list celeb. So, at this current time we’re filming, if you go on Vogue right now, it’s Charlie XCX, Patrick Schwarzenegger, and me. So it’s like, I didn’t even know those. The new buddy comedy starring Nigel, Charlie XCX, and Patrick Schwarzenegger. Oh, that’d be great. It’s coming to Tubi. I mentioned that Olive Garden for me was like a fancy restaurant growing up. Do you remember the first time you went to a restaurant that you thought was fancy? Not the first time I’ve had like a fancy thing, but I remember really liking Carl’s Jr. growing up. So, because we had McDonald’s, we were like, “Oh, that’s cheap shit. The burger’s so small. It’s just one patty. Who wants that?” Yeah. You know? And then, but when we go to a Carl’s Jr., we could never finish the burger. And to us that was a symbol of quality if you couldn’t finish the portion size. Man, we really exported Americana at such a fast rate. I know, I know. It is very inspiring. You just cranked out that capitalistic machine and then people with no, you know, we have nothing in common with American culture, but we get it, we like the food. Yeah. You know? That’s funny, man. You ready to move on to some pasta? Yeah. Oh, there’s pasta. Oh shit. There’s pasta here. Nice. Okay. Keep your fork. We don’t have a dishwasher in the car yet. So, we’re going fettuccine Alfredo. Oh. I mentioned there’s almost nothing actually Italian about the Olive Garden. Yeah, fettuccine Alfredo is not a dish you can get in Italy. No, especially with chicken on it. Yeah. Wow. Technically, fettuccine Alfredo was invented in Rome, but the Americans really took it and we really ran with it. Yes. Close up shot as best we can. This actually looks… Yeah, no, stop getting cheese everywhere. They don’t pay for my car washes. I pay for that out of my own pocket. This is what happens in LA, guys. When you stop at a stoplight, homeless people would just knock on your window and give you cheese. I know it was- Parmesan. I don’t have any cash, but I can give you some chicken fettuccine Alfredo. Where do you want me to move this? Dang it. Lily, you’re doing a great job. Lily, you went from XO sauce to Parmesan shredder. I know this. Times are tough for all of us. Uncle Roger gonna kidnap her the cook for me. Cheers. Fettuccine Alfredo. Cheers. Let’s do this, aye? Oh man. Way too soft. No, a hundred percent. I think because originally from Florida, right? It’s a bunch of old people there who can’t, who have no teeth anymore. So, you can chew this with your gums and it will still go through. I think for me, Olive Garden is, there’s something comforting about the familiar when you’re like not in your hometown. Like I was doing, it was a track and field meet at College Station, Texas out in the middle of nowhere. And it was just super weird. And we went to the Olive Garden and I was like, “This is a familiar experience.” Tastes exactly the same. You know? Yeah. This is white people’s Panda Express. Mm-mm. Yeah. Like, yeah. As a restaurant owner, that is hard to do. We have a few branches in Malaysia, right? So, branch to branch, making it taste the same is already hard enough. Also, what is hard is the same branch, if it’s a different chef in the morning, different chef in the evening? Aw. Just even making those taste the same. I guess I never realized that so much of your career was based off criticizing other people’s food in a really funny and unique way. Uh-huh. But now you’re actually making food for people, opening yourself up to criticism. Oh yeah. Have you gotten a lot of it? It’s a ride. It’s a ride, yeah. When I see, I check the reviews a lot, and also what people are saying on social media. And you have to scan them. You take the good ones and the bad ones. The bad ones, you have to separate them into um, is it constructive or not? Yeah. Right? Some people say, “Oh, Uncle Roger just put his name on the restaurant and he’s just making money pass. You know, just, he’s just hands off and just waiting the money to roll in.” We wish, you know? My uncle wishes. We are so hands on and we try our best, we try our best. The whole team- Yeah. Tries their best. Do you remember the first time that you really felt proud of your restaurant that you opened? Was there like one day where you were just like, “Damn, I really did this thing.” Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think before, right before we opened. Just walking around the empty restaurant, because it hasn’t opened yet. We’re opening the next day. Just walking around, looking at the decor. I was like, “Wow, I can’t believe this. Just five years ago, just turning on the camera, you know? Helping my uncle film this weird- Yeah. Little thing. Would eventually lead to this. So, that is genuinely a cool moment. Yeah. Do you think your uncle is proud of you? No, he’s never a proud of anyone. I think it’s good that he gets something to do though. You know what I mean? Yeah. Old people with nothing to do. They’re just gonna end up getting dementia, you know? You can’t sit at home doing Sudoku all day. Come on. No, you gotta put ’em on the wok, you know? Fry it on the line. Yeah. Make him work. You two are opening up a new restaurant in London, right? Yes, yes. The London one we are still, at as of recording, we’re still waiting for permits to renovate the restaurant. But hopefully it will be open December or January. What are you excited for in that restaurant? What’s the concept? So, the one in Asia is a quick service fried rice restaurant. And the one in London, we’re partnering with this really talented chef. His name is Darren Liu. So, it’s a more chef-led restaurant. And he comes up with a menu together with me. We R&D and stuff and taste of things. And then, it’s a more mid scale- Yeah. Sit down place. Yeah, yeah. So this one, this London one is not gonna be scalable.. It’s like the, kind of like the more artistic baby. The one where you wanna really make the, you know? Yeah, and it is artistic. I’ve tasted like half the menu now. Yeah. We haven’t finished finalizing the menu, but we’ve come up with half and it’s, there’s some really cool, interesting and creative stuff on there. The funniest thing you could have done is hire a white chef. Jamie Oliver. Are you available? Jamie, I think this would be huge if you have a lunch at Nigel’s new restaurant. You know what I wanna do? When it comes out. When the London restaurant launches, I’m gonna make a reservation at Jamie Oliver’s restaurant under a random name, not my uncle’s name. Then, show, just live stream him going to his restaurant, trying to try to eat there. Speaking of which, I think I saw your uncle roaming around. Oh. Do you think he likes the Olive Garden? He hasn’t tried this before, but I think, let me go get him. I think he’ll like it. Let’s see. I think he will. If there’s anything I know about Uncle Roger is that he loves when white people cook noodles. Haiya, Nephew Josh. Uncle Roger. Welcome back my friend. Thank you. Thank you. It’s good to see you. My nephew Nigel tell me they got free food in this car. Yeah. Okay. We did put a sign, a sandwich board that just said, “Free Food,” and I knew you’d find it eventually. Yeah. That how you would trap Uncle Roger. Okay, what is this? What we having? So, well this is from the Olive Garden, which I understand you’ve never been to before. Oh, Olive Garden? The best restaurant in all of America. Is it like something fancy like Madison Square Garden? It is exactly something fancy like that. But it’s the fanciest place where you can get lunch for $7. $7 lunch? Fuiyoh! Okay. Maybe it good. If it good, Uncle Roger go every day. And so, this is a dish that does not exist in Italy. Oh, sorry. What happening? Oh, there’s niece Lily. Fuiyoh! Hi again. Uncle Roger still miss your XO sauce, you know? Why they make you do this now? I don’t know. Who you piss off? They make you the cheese shredder. Yep. That’s all I do. Haiya. Okay. Enough that, enough. I told you to stop stealing my yogurt from the fridge and you kept stealing my yogurt from the fridge. The air conditioning is blowing in on Uncle Roger. He’s our esteemed guest. I’ll angle it. Don’t worry, Niece Lily. Come work for me. Don’t work for this Mythical Kitchen anymore. They just bully you every day, you know? Lily, we love and respect you. And if you need to negotiate your rate- I’m sorry. Against Uncle Roger. No. That’s good. That’s enough. That’s- Come to my restaurant. You can get free fried rice. Ooh, I love free food. Oh, spraying into my face. Uncle Roger, there’s so much cheese everywhere in my car. Too much! This like- This is a nice car. Is that cheese with side of pasta? They have free breadsticks. This meatball is so big. This like as big as my testicle. Yeah. This like- Just one? Yeah. Just? Uncle Roger, only have one testicle. What happened to the other one? The one, my one so big. I don’t need two, you know? Just ate the other one. Just one enough. Okay. Let’s see the meatball first. Meatball not terrible. It’s not. It’s not bad. The meatball not terrible. What is this sauce? This is just a bunch of ground beef, probably cooked down with tomatoes, some garlic, some onion. This pasta bit too soft. Do you feel like you’re getting to that age where you can start appreciating old people culture more? Uncle Roger, everything pain. Knee pain, back pain, everything. Also nephew a pain in your ass? Oh, everything. Asking me to do this. Asking me to do this podcast. Every show you do, it feel like podcast with extra step. Yeah. Including this one. I wanna ask about your first job and what you learned from it. My first job? Mm. Uncle Roger used to be cook at food court in mall. Yeah? You know, think of this mall, a really shitty mall. Think of it like, do you know KTown Plaza in LA? Of course I do. The kind of ’80s, ’90s mall with the tile on the floor and all the weird lighting, yeah? I was chef in mall food court. I run my own store. Do you have fond memories of that or you look back at that as a bad time? That how I met my ex-wife, you know? That’s really beautiful. How long were you together? No, a terrible memory. Don’t bring her up anymore. I didn’t mean to offend. I’m so sorry. Haiya. You came into my car for the free food. Yeah, I come, last time I come and we do podcast, you make me good food and then you make me fried rice. And today we film in car. The budget getting lower and lower. Yeah. Tune in next week we’re gonna film from trash can. But mall food court teach me a lot. It teach me how people here don’t really know Asian food. They come to my food court. They come to my little store expecting Panda Express thing. But Uncle Roger don’t do that. I do like, you know, Hainanese chicken rice? Mm-mm. Holy shit. White people cannot handle. But you know why? Because the chicken is room temperature chicken. It’s supposed to be like that. I think we have deceptively similar tastes. Really? You know what I mean? I think we have a lot in common. We both love free food. You know, we both love relentlessly making fun of people. I think you critique Gordon Ramsay grilled cheese before, correct? But he was too easy of a target. Who do you think I should come after next? Mm. Jamie Oliver. Join me. Join me. No. Uncle Roger think Jamie Oliver actually good at Italian food. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should. Have you interviewed him before on your show? Never. I would love to. Never. Okay. Jamie, come do this show. Don’t be scared. All Jamie Oliver wanted to do was get the kids to eat healthy in the schools. In California, everybody eat too healthy. Even the kid eating sushi. And you know, sushi good, but it’s just too healthy for kid. That why the kid here in California all so weird. They have this hollow face, and they all got allergy to everything. It’s weird that I do know kind of exactly what you’re talking about though. Yeah. They’re like little ghosts running around. Boo! Do you remember the first time you felt an immense amount of pride in your nephew? I guess my nephew Nigel go on his stand up tour a few year ago and he bring me along to open for him. Online, that video on YouTube now. The full show on YouTube. And I see how hard he working because standup is very annoying. It take place when you’re having dinner. I know you like food a lot, Nephew Nigel, but you willing to give up food for standup. Yeah. For your fan to put on good show. And then, I see him do show every night. And every night he do well every night, no matter how tired he is. Like, he land from a plane, go straight to theater and perform good show. No matter how tired he is, no matter how sick or headache, or whatever. So, that Uncle Roger respect. That’s really sweet. That’s really beautiful. Some people think it professional. Uncle Roger think he very needy. Just need approval from his fan and approval from stranger. Yeah. Haiya. Like his mom and dad never love him enough. And I think approval from you, you know? I think that means a lot to him probably. Okay. What next, Nephew Josh? Well, we we didn’t get you a proper dessert, which I do feel bad about, but- . We got you the signature- What? Olive Garden mint. But it’s melted because the car’s really hot. Why it melted and squishy? Oh. Uncle Roger. Look at this shit. I’m sorry. Oh no. Uncle Roger need to show the camera. Ugh! I’m sorry. What is this? I really couldn’t. This how you treat your guests? I come all the way to Burbank. This how you treat me? I just tried to suck it out like a Go-Gurt. You know about Go-Gurt? Ugh. Okay Uncle Roger gonna start OnlyFan from this one. Put some porn music on there. That’s gonna get the views. Listen, there’s a kink for everything and somebody out there has an Uncle Roger kink. Ugh. You know what I mean? Please, please, please don’t. Uncle Roger, truly thank you for coming on my podcast with a couple extra steps. No, before we finish we have to see nephew Joshua lick this. Oh. That how we end. Thank you for watching this video. Stay tuned. You gotta trace the alphabet. Oh! That’s the ticket. I hate this. Maybe if I do that, my ex-wife will still be with me. Haiya. I doubt it. Uncle Roger, you and your nephew got anything coming up? Yeah, we got restaurant opening in London soon. Hopefully renovation finish soon. Open in December or January time. And then you’re boxing Jamie Oliver in what? Hopefully next year. Next January? Next year? Hopefully next year. We both old people. It gonna be funny. It like two geriatric people trying to hit. I’m so excited for that. Okay. Thank you, Nephew Josh for having me again. Anytime, man. Oh. See you in six months when you have new show idea. “Good Mythical Evening” is blasting off on October 23rd at 10:00 p.m. Eastern, 7:00 p.m. Pacific. So, get your tickets now at goodmythicalevening.com.