Nicole hasn’t gotten her eyebrows done in two months. I did them yesterday! Got her. Welcome to “Mythical Kitchen” where Lily becomes the fiercest food fighter the world has ever seen. That was pretty fierce. All right, so Nicole and Vi have been dominating the food battle conversation around here. They wiped the floor with Trevor and I in burger and queso, but then we brought in Lily, the ringer, the only person who has real restaurant experience in all this, and we smoked them in pizza. That’s why we kicked Trevor out of the band, and now Lily’s in. They’re gonna be losers again today. I love it. Talk more smack, Lily. Get ’em! You guys suck. No, okay, yeah, dial it back. It’s still a place of work. I’m sorry. Thank you so much today. Today, we are taking on battle hot dog, who can make the best, most decadent loaded hot dog. And hey, speaking of hot dogs, check out me and Nicole’s new podcast series that is officially out now, wherever you get your podcast. We are trying to finally end the debate once and for all on whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. We have talked to a historian, a philosopher, a lawyer, a business person, and finally, we are taking the debate to the people, to the streets to finally come up with an answer. But wait, there’s more. On July 31st, we are taking the winning hot dog from this episode and we are going to be selling it to you, the people at Smorgasburg Los Angeles, it is an open air market in Los Angeles. Come out. You can also debate in Nicole and I live on whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich, eat some tasty hot dogs. We’re selling t-shirts out there. It’s partnering with “No Kid Hungry,” it’s for a good cause. We got an awesome hot dog vendor partner. Shout out Gerardo Pacheco from “Dog.R.” It’s gonna be an awesome time. Please come out. Come see our dogs. Come see our dog. There’s no real dogs, but that was a discussion. All right, you wanna get cooking? Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s smoke their a double hockey sticks. Behold, the pizzacock. You can buy these. Okay, whoa, you need to calm down. Sorry. Go ahead. I’m excited about the new aprons. We got some new aprons. You can buy them at mythical.com. Hell of a plug, Lily. You crushed that, dude. Yeah, yeah. Nailed it. Lily’s first merch plug. You’re gonna do thousands more and it’s gonna suck the venom from your soul. Right now, we’re making a Quesabirria hot dog. Yes, yum. Quesabirria, one of the best foods out there. We made this for “GMM” “Will It Hot Dog?” and we had planned this episode before we did “Will It Hot Dog?” And then we tasted that hot dog, and then we were like, we gotta make this. It was so good. Yeah. This is just one of the best things ever. You wanna get served on the adobo? Yes. Cool, so all birria starts with an adobo. Birria is a traditional dish, typically made with goat, from Guadalajara, Jalisco, but in LA, especially, birria de res, beef birria is really what has sort of popped off ’cause it’s kind of easier to get than goat. Lily, how do you feel about goat? I’ve never had goat, What? But I really wanna try it. Oh, dude. There’s a great- I know a guy that he’ll just give you a whole goat in a trash bag. Oh, okay. Yeah, no. I don’t know if that’s sanitary. I’m dead ass serious. No, it’s great. I think you need new friends, Josh. The legs stick out of the trash bag, too, and you just kind of put it in your trunk and figure it out. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah. I’m gonna take the beef chuck and I’m gonna salt it. I always like adding salt directly to my meat instead of adding it to a marinade. Because, like, if you cook a lot, you know how much salt to add directly to meat, so we’re just gonna do that. I’m gonna heat this pan up ’cause we’re gonna be simmering this for a while. Here, I’ll get some garlic. I’m getting the garlic, and I’m gonna get bay leaves in there. That’s looking nice. There you go. Yeah, that cinnamon stick’s really gonna add a lot. Lily, about how many hot dogs do you average for per week? That I eat? Yeah. You know like 20. 20 hot dogs. Oh my God, you’re eating 20 hot dogs a week. How many do you think you could actually eat in 12 minutes? Look, like, I know the stereotype of Asians can, you know, eat a lot of hot dogs. Okay, there was, like, one- Well, okay. There’s one. Yeah, okay. There’s only like four that are really good at it, you know what I mean? I just can’t. I don’t think I could eat- I wanna enjoy my hot dog. I’m gonna be the guy at the hot dog eating competition just enjoying putting my condiments on. I’m not slurping it down. Anybody have any relish? Excuse me, sir. That is the weirdest stereotype, though, that I never thought about. How’s that affect your life on a day to day basis, Lily? Oh, you know. You go to Costco and get a hotdog and people are staring? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brutal. Don’t stare at anyone eating hot dogs regardless of race. This has been a public service announcement from Josh. Oh, and Lily. So smooth. All right, so we’re gonna add the rest of the adobo. We’re just gonna come get this up to a simmer, and then we don’t even need any additional liquid in there because the beef’s gonna release so much juice, and we’re gonna pop a top on this, and cover it. And we’re just gonna bring it up to a simmer. Oh, wait, dude. Oh, it smells like a winner. Already done. Already done. Oh, there was like cloves and cumin and stuff. We didn’t say that. We got caught up in the merch plug. Yeah, it’s gonna burn. Nailed it. We’re going to cover it up and let it simmer. Lily, we’ve got the birria nice and shreddy. Look at that. Ooh, that looks super tender. Sopping wet, that’s exciting. Okay, so we need to make a condiment. Well, we don’t need to, but I think it needs to be really dank. We’re gonna make like a cilantro, jalapeno, onion, mustard. Go. I will have at it. Yeah, yeah. Do it, do it, do it. Ain’t nothing to it but to do it. I’m gonna start grilling off some dogs. We’re just gonna go raw griddle on here. We should’ve deep fried and done a ripper dog. You ever heard of that? No, I’ve never heard of that before. New Jersey, man, what won’t they do? I’m gonna start griddling off the birria right here. I wanna get it like nice and griddle-y, and then I’m gonna add the cheese, and I’m gonna try and flip, you’ll see. It’s gonna be kind of brutal. Also, we actually have to do this in person when we’re serving people this at Smorgasburg, ’cause we’re gonna win. Yeah, exactly. So I put mustard, onions, what are these pepperoncinis? No, pickled jalapenos. Pickled jalapenos, some fresh cilantro, and a squeeze of lime. Why am I pussy-footing around? You gotta do it. All right. Just gonna get yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m gonna add some more juice to it. ‘Cause like my thought on why this is gonna be a successful hot dog, chili dogs rule. Birria is like a better form of chili, and so I think this is just gonna be awesome. Yeah, one second, pause. There it is. Extra juice going down. We’re gonna get the juice ’cause you want the bread to toast in the juice. All right, there we go. And now I’m gonna put the cheese on top of that so it melts, and then we’re gonna eventually nestle the hot dog in that, and then we’re gonna flip it on the bun. Lily, do you think this is gonna work? Oh my gosh. This is amazing. There we go, hot dogs. Yeah, getting some nice color on them. How’s that mustard looking? You know. I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t know what we were doing with this mustard. We’ve never made it before. This is gonna be the wettest hot dog anyone’s ever had, and I think that’s what we’re going for. Are we, I dunno if I want a wet- What do you mean? What do you mean, you don’t know if you want a wet hot dog? I just don’t like the sound of that. Come on, it’s like a French dip, but I call it the doggy dipper. Yeah. You wanna taste that? What do you think it tastes like? Mustard. Astute observation for Michelin-starred chef, Lily Cousins. It tastes like mustard. Oh my God, is that mustard? No, it’s ketchup. This is how I’m thinking this goes down. Okay. Can I try one? Right? Can I try one and you try one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I wanna do a flip. What do you mean? Are you gonna flip it? Be patient, be patient. Can you just calm down for once, like, ‘Cause I’m excited. You’re acting crazy, you’re manic, okay? Like I’m the pinnacle of calm. Well, ’cause I like to let the bun steam. Okay. But then I kind wanna, like- Just get it even more wet. Just a little bit. It’s like, what are the witch circles that they do? Maggie, you’re a witch. What? I think it’s ready. Wow. Now hold on, hold on, hold on, extra juice. ‘Cause why, Lily? Because it’s wet and we like wet hot dogs. Yeah, I thought I had a better ring to it, but all right. You go, you go, you go. Watch your hands, watch your hands. That hot dog’s looking real whack, guys. Yeah, boo. It looks amazing. Oh, did you guys forget that that was like a thing where while we cook you, like, heckle us, and now you did it while we’re done. So ugly. So trash. You’re ugly. Oh wait. No, I’m not! My husband says I’m beautiful! Nicole hasn’t gotten her eyebrows done in two months. I did them yesterday! I did them yesterday! Got her. No, you got to nestle it next to it, nestle it next to it. Nestle next. Nextle it. My arms aren’t long enough. Well, then get longer arms, okay? I can’t eat excuses. You’re better than me. Put some in there and put some, ooh, I’m gonna eat the scrapies. Yeah. I mean, this looks amazing. Yeah, I know the stuff on the edge of the spatula? That’s our hot dog. We made it. Are you happy? Lily give them a good out. I’m gonna eat the scrapes. This is our hot dog and that’s my out. Ah. Look at my cool earring, they’re hot dogs because we’re in a hot dog battle. Yeah, you know how to do the hot dog? Yeah. Pretty good, right? Yeah, yeah, that was great, that was great. So we’re gonna be making a Reuben hot dog. You’re tacky and I hate you. Do you hear something? No. I don’t either. I really don’t. I think it’s a Taylor Swift lookalike with shaved eyebrows. So like I said, we’re making Reuben hot dogs. Do you like a good Reuben sandwich? I do, I haven’t had one in a long time. Yeah. And it was the first time I actually like sauerkraut, so. Oh, look at that. Oh yeah, you’re not a pickle girl. No, I don’t like pickles. But you’re a sauerkraut lady. Yes, I am. That’s awesome. Damn right. So we’re gonna be making our own pastrami, which is quite a feat, but there’s nothing we can’t do in the “Mythical Kitchen.” Exactly. Especially beat those two bozos over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget them. They’re not even the same height. Yeah, I know. There’s such a difference. It’s crazy. Yeah, right? So I’m just taking some wet wood chips and I’m kind of letting them start to smoke and kind of dry out a little bit. Okay. And then we have a corn beef here. We used our joutine corn beef recipe, which you can actually click on link and see. It’s an awesome recipe, one of my favorite recipes we’ve ever done in the “Mythical Kitchen.’ So we’re just taking that corn beef and we’re just gonna rub a little bit. Okay. Rub on it. What are you gonna start doing, Miss Vi? I have this beautiful ween right here. And I’m gonna basically hollow it out with this chopstick and add some cheese in it. I’m gonna stuff a Wiener. We’re doing Swiss cheese stuffed wieners because that’s what wieners do. Exactly. So exciting. I’m a big hot dog fan, you know? I’m happy that we’re gonna be slinging dogs. Ah! Wow, you’ve done this before, haven’t you? Yeah. I made little foil balls just to kind of prop up our fantastic corn beef. Just prop it up like this. This will get you buff. Yeah, you’re doing really good at that, man. I couldn’t do that to save my life. Isn’t that pretty? You’re gonna take a crap ton of foil. You’re gonna tin this bad boy kind of tightly. That wiener looks like it needs a shot of penicillin. Hey, I don’t, well, you know, there’s doctors around. What if the wiener’s allergic to penicillin? Yeah. Huh? Like me, I have an allergy to penicillin. I get a rash. Yeah. We have our beautiful dressing that we’re making, Oh, hell yeah. So we have some Mayo. Go for it. And then we have pickle juice, some relish. Nice. Yeah. Stunning. Okay, and then we, what is this? Lemon juice. Nice. And then some horseradish. Very, very good. I love horseradish. I like- It’s so strong. It’s, like, hit or miss for me. I love how strong it is. It literally slaps you in the face. It’s one of my favorite flavors. You go ahead and mix that up, I’m gonna throw this in a 250 degree oven for a long time, a few hours, I’d say. Maybe like six hours. Oh, that’s just good time enough to take a nap. Let this go for a little bit, you know, cook down, get nice and sexy. Get nice and smokey. Slice it up, put it on a hot dog. Vi, look at that. Wow. That’s a big old hunk of meat, I’d say big. That’s a big old brown thing. I know, look at that. Look at that. Oh my God it’s so pink inside. Look at that color! She’s pink. That’s gorgeous. Oh my God. Give some of that here. Give a little nibble. Here, you got a little bit of nibble. Mm. How did we do? I’m proud of you, man. Look at you. Vi, get those hot dogs. I’m ready. I’m gonna oil my thing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. I don’t know what that was, but I liked it. I was initially thinking we do thin, like, stripes of meat, but no, I think we do nice- Oh, you’re gonna do some nice chunkahungus? Let’s do some thick boys. Let’s do some dices. Let’s do some dices. Let’s make some hot dogs. I like a thick, big, hot dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like when it’s like loaded and it gets all over my face. Yeah. I like a big hot dog, man. I like, for example, like “Costco” hot dogs, like, that’s my jam, you know what I mean? Oh my gosh. Like, that’s the inspiration for this and those big ass hot dogs. Yeah, ass dogs. I’m just gonna let this hang out, man. I’m just gonna let this cook up. Yeah. Do one of these, like I might- Is that how it’s done? I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. That has that, kind of, like, Philly cheese style. Oh, yeah. Oh my God, we should have done a Philly cheese steak hot dog. I know, but everybody does that, though. Really? I’ve never seen it anywhere before, damn. I’ve had one at “Pinks.” Oh yeah, “Pink” is the- We’re better than “Pinks.” We’re better than pinks. We’re brown. People don’t know about summer color. No, they don’t, ’cause y’all remember how pasty I was, I looked like the guy with no eyebrows. Oh my God, I have eyebrows. Is the only thing you can- And big wieners aren’t cool. They’re boastful. Whoever the hell said that? Yeah. Back in, like, the 16th century, when they were doing the David sculpture. I know all about that. Not the David sculpture. You know that because of me. No, I knew that before you. I’m smart before you. Don’t acknowledge him, don’t acknowledge him. He’s not even there. Sorry, sorry. He honestly really grinds my gears sometimes, man. Yeah, I know, that’s fine. Okay. Holy schnikes, that’s a lot of meat. We gotta make that look a little prettier, though. We’re gonna make it look prettier, don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. Okay, let’s do the other one. Okay. Do the other one. You do it, you do it. Okay. You do it and I’ll dress the other one. What are you doing? Nestle! I’m gonna put this down first. Put it down, put it down. And then I’m gonna stuff it. Put it down, put it down. ‘Cause that makes more sense. That’s a good idea. This is, like, you need a friend to help you eat this. Yeah, for sure. There we go. And then just a beautiful crown of sauerkraut. And there you have it, baby. That’s a Ruben dog. You’re going down, Quesabirria. That looks very nice. Quesa who? See, look, all you gotta do is, he just kind of turns around, you know? You know? You just gotta do the hot dog when they talk to you. Jordan, there are two hot dogs before you, do you agree? Yes. You are an impartial judge, do you agree? Yeah. And Lily and I are easily the better looking chef duo, do you agree? Shut up. No. He doesn’t have eyebrows. Listen, I think you’re so beautiful. Thank you. But I’m a lesbian and there’s two women over here, and there’s one woman over here and Josh. You’re killing the Lesbian Jock Alliance. Anyways, there are extra stakes to today’s battle, Jordan. The winner of this will go on to actually be featured at Smorgasburg, and we’re gonna sell it to the fine folks. I’m so honored to be doing this. All right. Vi, present you’re losing dish. Excuse me. Okay, beautiful, Auntie Jordan. Hello, meet the uncle Reuben dog. We have a hot dog stuffed with beautiful Swiss cheese in a bun. You know about buns, right? I do. Okay, great. It has a beautiful dressing over it with some homemade pastrami and some horse radish. Gross. Yum. Also, there’s sauerkraut. I don’t know, dude, that looks pretty gross. Yum, so much cheese. I love cheese. Do I eat this one first? Please enjoy. Okay, great. Someone hold my hair. Because that’s what sorority girls do. That’s what friends do. She ate that so well. This is getting weird. I like it. Not like that, just. Wow. Very juicy. The sauerkraut is not overpowering at all. Delicious. I love. And on you’re right, we have the Quesabirria dog. Of course. This is a “Hebrew National” hot dog, 100% beef with Monterey Jack cheese, birria de res on top, a little bit of cilantro and jalapeno mustard, cilantro and onion. Dress it with lime and then dip it in the consomme. We’ve also griddled the bun in some of that consomme and red tinged fat. Wow, okay. That sounds great. I love lime, so I’m gonna do some lime. Let’s get my dunk on. Josh, hold my hair. Okay, I normally don’t touch women- I mean, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You said it and now I’m here doing it. He’s so tender and gentle. It’s okay. I’m not gonna tell HR you held my hair when I asked you to. Ellen, don’t, she said- She didn’t say pull, she said hold. I didn’t pull. Mm. It tastes like Pozole. Wow. Mm. Okay. Lily, you take her hair, it’s weirding me out. I’ll switch spots. I’ll switch with you. Okay, this is counting against you, Josh. Remember that. I’m sorry. I have a thing with human contact. It’s very good. It’s so juicy. I love all my food to be wet. This is gonna be the wettest hot dog anyone’s ever had, and I think that’s what we’re going for. First of all, I wanna say they’re both delicious. They’re both incredible hotdogs. I would eat 50 to 100 of either one of them at an outdoor sporting event. Like, they’re absolutely incredible, but I- You have birria on your lip. Do I? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, wipe the disgust off. A little bit, just a little bit. Okay, good. Now you’re doing great. Okay, all right. I think I’m ready. Do it. Oh, do it. Stop pussy-footing around. Okay, I have to say, in my opinion, what is truly the better hot dog, especially for an outdoor event like Smorgasburg is, unfortunately, I have to go with Josh and Lily. I’m sorry. Wait, they hugged. We hug. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I don’t want it to be like this. Why are you so awkward? And this delicious. I don’t know. I understand- My only thought process is that this is a little messy to be eating outside. Sure. If I was like, I would eat this, like, at a table. Smorgasburg doesn’t have a lot of tables. A lot of times you’re sitting in the grass. It’s a little messy. They have very good accommodations and amenities, come out. Yes, if it wasn’t a Smorgasburg, you guys would’ve taken it home because I think it’s an incredible hot dog. But for the event at hand, I also think Smorgasburg loves like a fusion thing, so the fact that this is hot dog plus birria, I think this one for this specific event is a better fit, but I love both. And I honestly love all four of you. I enjoy working with you. Oh, to be fair here- I’m gonna report HR for this, the way, the way you’re being now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know what, hey, Nicole. One, Jordan, thank you so much for being an impartial judge here. Well, you were an incredibly partial judge, but you still picked us, so that’s cool. I like that even better. But Nicole and Vi, we’re feeling charitable today, though. So we’re gonna sell this at Smorgasburg, too. Come down, get there. Also, We’re partnering with an incredible Venezuelan hot dog vendor. Shout out to Gerardo Pacheco of “Dog.R” who’s selling some Venezuelan hot dogs. Proceeds going to “No Kid Hungry.” It’s be really good. Are you gonna be there? Am I invited? Yeah. I’ll be there. Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna just rip spit off of meat enchiladas, I’m telling you what. Really, Jordan, thank you. Valiant effort, you two. And thank you all so much for watching “Mythical Kitchen.” We got new episodes out every week, wherever you get your episodes. We’ve got new episodes of our podcast, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,” including our special series finally ending the debate of is a hot dog sandwich. Hit us up on TikTok and Instagram @mythicalkitchen, pictures of your mythical dishes, under #dreamscomefood. Make sure to go out Smorgasburg. That’s July 31st. Eat these delicious hot dogs and come debate Nicole and I live. We are not holding back. No! Damn. Yeah. Fierce, dude. When she gets a hot dog in her mouth, she gets fierce. Vi put meat in my pocket. Yeah, a surprise. She does that, she does that. It’s called put pocketing. Yeah, it is. A new “Mythical Kitchen” creature approaches. The pizzacock is here and available on a brand new apron. Come face to face with the “Mythical Kitchen” pizza apron now at mythical.com.