Today we find the best way to make nachos according to science. How do we create the single best bite of nachos? Do we layer the toppings? Do we individually top each chip? Do we use triangles or rounds or strips? Or are these all pointless myths peddled from chef to chef just waiting to be busted? To find out, we’ve assembled this highly trained team of serious “nacho” professionals. Then whose professionals are they? To put them to the test. Because this is Myth Munchers! I didn’t steal a pencil. I feel like you stole my pencil. One, two, three, all eyes on me! One, two, eyes on you! Myth Munchers! Today we’re busting nacho myths. Nachos are something many of you have probably made at home, but people don’t actually know how to optimize them, and that’s where we come in. We are the corporate consultants of nachos. So first up, we’re going to check out the cheese type. Does it matter? We’ve railed against pre-shredded cheese. We’re going to try that against freshly shredded. Myth number two. Do you broil them? Do you microwave them? Do you throw them in an oven to get the ambient heat? Myth number three. We’ve been big proponents of layering. We also lie constantly, so we’re gonna see if that is actually better than not layering or doing Texas style to individually top them. Finally, nacho shape. How does it affect being inserted into the mouth? We’re gonna check out triangles versus strips versus round. Do you think we got what it takes? Yes, teacher! Yes! Absolutely! Eyes on you too. I don’t want detention. Oh no, I’m like a free range teacher. Okay, everybody take your cards, write down your guesses what you think’s gonna happen. Loser has to eat a whole six pound bowl of cold shredded cheese. While you do that, and while I got you here. Hold on, hold on. Here is my nachos as a salad theorem. Hear me out. The term salad, it is vague and pedestrian. You got tuna salad, you got taco salad, you got Jell-O salad. They have roughly nothing in common. And as George Orwell, personal hero of mine, said, nachos are small bits of well seasoned and soft food that often contains vegetables. And words, are only the walls of a prison we have ourselves constructed at the end. Did Winston actually learn to love Big Brother? Was the bullet to the head actually real? Or was that merely a metaphor for the lost dreams of revolution in the sand as a tear fell into the victory gin? Alcohol is the opiate of the masses. Wake up, sheeple! Lily, we’re matching today. We are matching! You got your black shirt. You got your black shirt. We both got our nacho jeans on. Nacho jeans. We got, brown belt. But if they’re “nacho” jeans, whose are they? Today we’re testing a very serious myth, a myth peddled by us if we’re being honest, right? We’re the ones who tell people not to use bagged pre-shredded cheese. Why do we tell them that? Because it has all these added ingredients in it. It has anti-caking agents, such as tapioca starch and potato starch. And it also has a mold inhibitor in it. And it’s sprinkled on, because you don’t want to buy no clumpy cheese. But it also makes it so your cheese doesn’t melt. I agree with that entirely. It’s got cellulose in it, which is also called wood pulp. Which is what termites actually eat. I grew up on pre- shredded cheese though. I did too. Do you still use it in your home today? Yeah, I do. For what? For everything? I think there’s an appropriate time to use it. Like obviously, shredded cheese is going to be the better option. But pre-shredded cheese, it’s just so convenient. This took me 30 seconds. That’s 30 seconds that you could have spent learning a new language. Okay, you could have. You know? You still have to wash the grater and that’s not fun to wash. Me gusta queso, all right? You could have learned that in the time that it took to shred this cheese. So I agree that’s not convenient. How many grams are we going for? 140. 140 grams. And we’ve opted not to go with like a cheese sauce or a queso style nacho here, which normally I prefer. But I think most people at home, these are the nachos I grew up on, right? Yes. If someone’s mom, as an act of love, just dumped the Costco bag of chips on, dumped the Costco cheese on it, put it in the oven, and that was it. Gonna give it a nice liberal sprinkle. This is nice. How often do you make a nachos at home? I actually made them, like, this past week with pre-shredded cheese and other stuff. So. This is vindication for Lily. I didn’t have, I’d like, it’s just like automatic in my brain to buy pre-shredded cheese. Like, I just grew up on it and I never had blocks of cheese in my house. That’s so funny. No, me neither. Julia eats them constantly, and so I’m always eating them for her, so I use pre-shredded cheese all the time. Yep. But it might change! No, people don’t change, we’re sort of fixed at some point. Yeah, yeah, we don’t change. Alright, in the broiler for two minutes. Okay, I noticed something that’s not matching. What’s that? You don’t have holes in your jeans, and I have holes in my jeans. And I feel like to make this right, I have to put holes in your jeans. If I’m being honest, Lily, I feel like I’ve been slowed down by the fact that there are no tactical airflow holes in my jeans. Yeah! That’s why you have them on yours, correct? Yeah, yeah, it’s, it really lets them breathe, you know? Do it. Okay, I need, no! I’m gonna cut your knee, I need you to have loose. I’m trying to loosen my jeans. Okay, okay. – I think this is really. – I’m a stylist. Is this gonna make me look cooler? I think it is. Are you sure? I feel like you’re gonna end up making them jorts anyway. Yeah, that’s true. Wait, hold on, you have to kind of just. What do you mean you have to kind of do what? Fine. And then do we want to go higher, like on the thigh? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Give me a little thigh slit. Sorry, I’m going like straight into your. But yours look so cool. Yours look like. Yeah, I bought them like this. Fashion. But what are they doing at the factory that we’re not doing? You gotta distress it. What do you mean you gotta distress it? Yeah. Here, someone hit me with a stick. No, no. This is cool! Am I a stylist? What’s up, fellow teens and young adults? It doesn’t look bad. Do you want to do what trends have shown we do and abstain from alcohol and sex? What? It’s a big trend among the youth. Look up the statistics. Boo! Kids are getting less cool. Look how fast I can do up my new tactical jean holes! Oh yeah, you can breathe. Your knees can breathe. Look at this. Chips toasty? Yeah, they’re very toasty. You can see it noticeably. Yeah, I mean these look a lot drier. They look drier, but like, do we really need wetter nachos? I mean, not, oh, I want a crispy chip. Can we top all this now? Yeah. Okay, just gonna get some pico on there. We’re going pretty simple on this. These are control nachos. I’m gonna douse it with hot sauce later. There we go. I like ballpark nachos though. We should have just done that. I love it when they serve it in the helmet. Yeah, like, the myth is like, Josh doesn’t love drinking beer outside at Dodger games eating nachos, and then we go test it, and then it’s like oh shoot He really does. He really does enjoy doing that. You gotta practice like you play. This isn’t a real nacho plate. Okay. There we go. Sorry. There it is. Bad They’re nachos. Yeah, they’re nachos. They are dry, it does dry up fast. That’s why you wet it with Valentina hot sauce, the official nacho wettening hot sauce of Mythical Kitchen. Yeah, there is something that’s like weirdly chewy about the cheese, in a way that is slightly unpleasant. Okay, hold on. This is obviously better. Okay, okay, it’s better. But like, knowing how to order a glass of wine in France is also a valuable skill. And you could have done that and prevented me from being very embarrassed when I went to visit my brother. You could’ve learned how to do that in the time that it took to shred the cheese. Is there that much of a difference between these? When we first pulled them out, it kind of looked good. But like you said, I mean, look how dry these look now. Yeah. Like, this is stupid. I think we agree. This is unequivocally better. But do we actually think it’s better enough to tell people to not just buy the giant bag of pre-shredded cheese? I don’t know. Do we actually think we can advocate people shredding their own cheese? I think, I feel a hard stance. One more time, one more time. Side by side. What are you talking about? Now you want to pick pre-shredded cheese? No, I just, I don’t know. It’s not that big of a difference. But like you said, it took two seconds to shred the cheese. It’s just like a store option. Like, you go to the store, you get the block instead of the pre-shredded. Well, then I’ll defer to you. If you want to go with freshly shredded cheese, it is better. It is objectively better, and it holds for longer. I think we choose it. I think we choose fresh. Yeah, I agree. Freshly shredded? Yeah. You know what that means. This myth munched us. I munch these nachos, baby. Welcome to the visible knee club. Welcome to Kneeopedia, where you can have pictures of our kneecaps. Kiss. Now, it’s time to see what heating method is best for nachos. Right. So, we’re going to go ahead and broil some, microwave some, and oven cook some. The broiler is going to be at what, what are we at 550? The oven’s going to be at 425 and the microwave’s just going to be hot for 35 seconds approximately. Yeah, shout out chef Mic. Yeah, how do you, how do you like your nachos, Vee? I like them broiled, I want it to be done very quickly, but I want to just make sure the cheese kind of covers every nacho possible. Yeah, to be honest, I don’t make a lot of nachos at home, but whenever I go out for nachos, I imagine they put it under the sally A.K.A. the salamander Yeah, so I guess, oh, I got cheese in my hair. I’ve seen somebody torch, some cheese just like straight on the nozzles like that. With a butane burner? Let me tell you, the issue with butane burners, sorry, thank you so much. The issue with a butane burner is it ends up tasting like gas. Yeah, it’s too much. And it’s an unpleasant char, you know? There’s something about like charring something with time, which is what’s gonna happen when we broil and oven it. I’m gonna put these in the oven. We’re gonna also, the oven is a 425 for 5 to 7 minutes, and then this is gonna go in the broiler. It’s gonna microwave it. I’m interested to see how the different temperatures and how the different cooking methods are going to melt the cheese. Oh, yeah. I’m gonna put this in the microwave. Okay, have fun. Okay. And by the time you come back, our nachos will be cheesy and ready to go. I’m back. Where are the nachos? You said they would be done, Nicole. I’m talking about the people watching, Vee. Keep up! Keep up! Look at our nachos, you guys. They look so pretty. They look beautiful. Do you notice any big difference between these already off the bat? As far as the cheese, not so much. This one just looks crispier. From, the chips look crispier from being underneath the broiler. Yeah, totally. The broiler ended up crisping up the chips, also crisping up the cheese a little bit. The fat, ended up getting to a really high temperature and started to almost crystallize and get super crunchy. And you can see it right here, this little bit of cheese, that little bit of, cheese chip almost. – Nice. – Should we try this one first? Let’s dress them up. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s make them pretty. I got excited. Okay, I’ll start. Oh! Taylor! We almost died. Let’s make them pretty. I got excited. Taylor! Okay, should I tap it up? Yes. I was like, what? Ooh, ooh, sexy, sexy. Is that how you pour hot sauce out? Yeah, what do you mean? – That’s not normal. – We’re not Valentina people. We’re Tapatio people. Also, you tap. Ohhh. You tap the Tapatio. Get it? I get it. Keep up! So, should we start with broil? Yes. Because that is the. The most attractive. – Yeah. – Myth we are munching. Pretty good. Pretty good? Pretty good. Good baseline? Yeah. I will say the chip is super crunchy and super delightful, which is nice. Whenever you, you share nachos with someone, do you always go for like the superior like big papa chip? I pretend they’re not even there and I just eat. Okay. Okay. It almost got soggy a little bit. . And a little stale. Totally. I think we should. Like stale and soggy. It’s weird. I actually pulled this up on my phone because I don’t remember it and I don’t wanna screw this up. Microwaves cooked by using electromagnetic waves. Which are absorbed into the molecules of water, sugar and fat in food. Can you mansplain it to me? Josh? Yeah. So, what you probably don’t understand about this, because women’s brains are technically the size of cats, is that microwaves are magic. That was super unhelpful. Basically what happens is, microwaves cook by vibrating the molecules of, I believe, water, fat, and one other thing, and it cooks it up and they vibrate close together, and then that’s what creates the heat, which cooks it. Okay. So, with the chips, they got really stale and soggy because the fat started to leach down into the chip and also it ended up compacting it in not a very pleasant way. Yeah, it’s not very likable. I don’t like that. It’s quick, which I appreciate when I’m on the move and super fast, but. Totally. No. Let’s try the oven chips. Okay. It tastes really close to microwave. I’m not gonna lie to you. I was gonna say the same thing. We did put these in here for about seven minutes, which means the time that it was in there, the cheese and the chips had time to really marry with each other and create this almost pallid soft experience, which isn’t very pleasant. No. With the broil, you still have the natural crunch of the chip and the cheese, which is melted and ever so slightly charred. It’s really good. The microwave, it just doesn’t really, it just really doesn’t work, and then oven is pretty much just like microwave. It doesn’t live up to the nacho experience that I want originally, so. Totally not. I think we might have to go with broil. Hey, we didn’t make a nacho joke. We didn’t, hold on, I gotta. You got one in your phone? I did, I do, I do. Okay, okay. Okay, it says, what occurs if you consume too many nachos with dip? I don’t know. You may experience severe “queso” diarrhea. I don’t answer to men. This myth munched us. This myth munched us. Hey Josh. Hi. Why did the nacho go to therapy? I, because the nacho was trying to improve themself. No, it had too many layers to uncover. Lily, I’m tired of these childish games. I would like to get back to hard science by slopping cheese on tortilla chips again. Okay, fine. Let’s do another myth. We’re doing another myth. We’re now going into nacho architecture. Lily has been hitting you with the nacho humor, of course, but now we’re getting into the Frank Lloyd Wright ass version of what nachos can be. What are you doing over there? I’m going to individually, carefully, top my nachos with cheese, some meat, and beans. You’re gonna go ahead and in div dually top your nachos. In div, is that not how you spell it? No! Somebody’s getting fired. Most people here either went to no school, culinary school, or film school, so like, give us a break. Individually topped nachos. Some people think of them as an abomination. I saw somebody once describe them as quote, gentrified nachos, but individually topping nachos is actually more similar to the way that chef Nacho Ayala in Piedras Negras Coahuila created the first ever nacho, right? So they call them Texas style nachos. When they are individually topped, you get your meat, you get your beans. We’re ramping up the toppings over here because we want to test some more heft on them. We ain’t just going with cheese meltage. Yep. I’d like to say a point, that you really are carefully picking out the chips too, because you don’t want to have no cracked chip like this. But in your case, you don’t care. But for me, I’m only picking the nice, beautiful ones. We started with the same amount of chips. I’m gonna stop right here because I can’t fit any more chips on here. The individually topped nachos, if we were talking earlier about being able to learn, how to say, donde está la biblioteca in the time it took to grate your cheese, imagine how many phrases you could have learned, you know? Like, donde está la mejor comida circa aqui abierta ahora? Si! Si! Gracias! I’ve been an advocate for layering nachos. You sort of intersperse the toppings more throughout because sometimes with nachos like this, you end up with bare chips on the bottom, especially if you’re loading it up. You layer it, you sort of get everything melding together. However, the detraction might be that you’re creating steam, which means sogginess. Lily, you’re doing great work out there. Yeah, it’s taking me a while. It’s not the most efficient way. We’re gonna bake that with the beans and the meat on there? Yeah. To sort of get everything copacetic? Alright, cool. We’re gonna take some beans. I’m just gonna splash this around. Oh, I’ll go beans too. You know where has the best nachos? Taco Bell? Salt Lake City. Just in general. What? When I lived in Salt Lake City, they had like the best nachos every place that I went. Salt Lake City, I thought Salt Lake City banned flavor in 1987. They’re pretty good on the flavor, surprisingly. They’re just good. They’re layered, they’re cheesy, they got lots of toppings, different meats you could choose from. That’s like most places, right? I know, but I don’t know! Are you sure you weren’t just like homesick in Salt Lake City? Maybe I was! Would you ever move back? I actually really liked it. It’s up and coming, you know. Should we move the Mythical operations to Salt Lake City, Utah? Come on! Everybody! Let’s do it! Their politics surely are progressive in Utah. How many wives do you want? 7. I can barely handle one! No, that’s fairly inappropriate. Misogynistic. Hey, that’s. Retrograde humor. And we don’t do that. That’s not, nacho, nacho my problem. Can I go ahead with this? I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. I’m out. Come on. No, somebody else. No, somebody else. No, come back. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with this childish humor. They told me to make the nacho, the nacho jokes. I made the nacho jokes. Trying to push the boundaries of humor. Annaliese, you know, I’m trying to put everything in order. Come back, I’m scared! Lily, you take the. I can’t. I can’t deal with this anymore. We’ll be right back. I don’t have any. Nacho cheese! Lily, those look incredible. I’m really excited about that. That’s fun. You’re going to individually top all of them with a single jalapeño a little pico? Yes. And I’m just going to kind of like, throw this up in the air and hope it lands somewhere? Yeah. Throw it in the air like you just don’t care. Shoot. Can you sing, I, I make it rain? I make it rain, I make it rain on my friends. Not like that, sorry. Scatter this around. This is cute. Did I just make cute nachos? Yeah, you really did. I love them. Cloudy with a chance of nachos. That’s not a joke. I don’t know. That’s a big glob of sour cream. Okay, I think I gotta go higher. Nope, right in the same spot. I’m not done yet. It just keeps, I can’t. There it is. There it is, fade away. I’m over it, okay. I can’t get it right. There we go, perfect. I’m still topping. This clearly takes some time. Yeah, do you want help over there? Nope. Okay. What if I kind of like yelled at you like Gordon Ramsay? Oh, do that. We need the nachos in the pot, chef! What the hell are you doing? What accent is that? That’s where he gets really worked up and it’s like the words are just seeping out like venom. You know, you can see him just like, putting the lime sauce in the nachos! We’re switching up hot sauces, Lily. We’re, as your hot sauce sommelier, we’re going with the Key Lime Arizona Gunslinger Jalapeño What notes are you getting from it? Key lime? A little bit of Key lime. A little bit of jalapeño. Those are some of the only ingredients. May I? Are you gonna individually top it? Okay, I’m gonna take a break. Individually? I’m gonna take a break. I’m gonna take a sink shower. One, two. Three. Should we eat the individually topped ones? I, yeah. You worked so hard on them. They’re cute. – They’re a little hard to. – Sticking a little bit. But like, this looks like a really pleasant bite of food. It’s perfectly proportioned. What could be better than that? Nacho-ing. Wow. Close your eyes. Okay. Pick one. I can, you know, I kind of got exactly where I would have been with that, right? Okay. Okay. Unpopular opinion. Go ahead. One thing I like about nachos is that they’re not all the same. I agree. Like, I like having, like I say, I like strategize. It’s a game. Yeah. I save different sections. Like, I eat all the ones that have a little less cheese. Like this, I’m eating first. It doesn’t have anything. But like, oh, I’m gonna save that, one of these. Yeah, and also with nachos, you can take the bare chip and you can just like sandwich it with another chip to create like a sort of tostada or like a mulita, if you will. Variety made me a slice of life in nachos. Well, Lily, if you want variety, check out this little slop funeral pyre. Yeah. Oh, no. Hold on, wait, but look at the pockets underneath. Lily, is this perfect layering not doing anything for you? I can’t even pick a chip up. I feel like you’re just having a good time. Sometimes you weren’t doing it wrong all along, you know what I mean? Yeah. People say Buzzfeed out there. Ten reason you’re making nachos wrong, sometimes. I’m out of breath. So no layering wins like the way 99 percent of the world makes nachos is indeed the best. Yes. You know what that means. That means, this, we. Our myth, that we made up, has been munched. We munched ourselves. Hey, do you want to know what your zodiac sign is based on what chip you like? Or, I suppose vice versa? Go to sporked.com There’s words there. Leo Hot Cheetos. We’re Pringles Sour Cream and Onion. Yeah! I don’t want to talk about mine, you’re going to have to find out. Gemini. If you get it, you get it. I have no, what does that mean? Tortilla chips come in many shapes and sizes. And right now, we are testing the three most common shapes. This is round, strips, and triangle. These are all of the Mission variety. This is the one that I grew up on. I grew up on the strips, particularly. That was probably the biggest bag they sold at the old Costco. But for some reason, I resent the strips, and so I have no idea where I’m leaning on this. But we need to try and put on our chef texture hats. What the hell is that? To see what sort of actual culinary findings we can get from the shapes. You guys got it? Got it! We’re serious culinary professionals here. So serious. I don’t wanna. Triangle? Why is everybody so silent? I’m just thinking of nacho puns, and I can’t find them. I just cannot, you know, my brain doesn’t work that way. Call me nacho, cause I be feeling libre! The only reason they’re triangles is because tortillas typically come round, and you have to cut them into quarters or six. And it’s easier. In order to make totopos. So, that’s why classically they are triangles. But, with modern science, baby, we’ve got things like strips and rounds. Strips. Strippers! I feel good about these. Oral insertion’s pretty easy. I love strippers! Easy oral insertion, but are you getting the load you want on the chip? Oh my God, huge load. Well. Hey, strips got the loads. Hold on, man. From the front and the back She got too much of a load in her. Hear me out, I’m not doing it right now, but this is kind of cool because it leaves you some space to keep your fingers clean. Yeah. – Yeah. – Yeah. I didn’t do that, but, you can do that. My fingers are clean! My fingers are clean! I’ve talked a lot of smack on strips before. This is a great eating experience, I will say that. You’re getting the load you want. Yeah. With the cleanliness that you need. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Goes into the mouth nice and smooth. I voted for this one. Nothing on the, I am, I am flummoxed at how good the strips are holding up. But we still got rounds! Round like that ass! Jesus Christ! What a kind of cooking show? Lily, this is “nacho” playground to say dirty things! I can’t help it! Really funny. Also, if your ass is this flat, that’s a problem. I actually found out I have a disorder where it gives me a flat ass. Did I ever tell you that? No, they found out that my coccyx is kind of bent in a way that like, it’s like Hank Hill ass syndrome. There’s like a spondylosis whatever. There’s a Latin word for it, but I literally have been diagnosed with a no ass syndrome. And it’s one of the reasons my back is so messed up. You should turn around. It’s just funny, it’s like, and I’m, I’m doing the best with what I have, but it’s taking a lot of banded work. Stop talking about your butts! Can you fit it, can you fit it all in your mouth? God damn it! This is what happens with the rounds! You have the cream running down your mouth. Are we gonna have to age restrict an episode about nachos? Science. Hot badass stripper science. Hot, nasty, badass, this is the winner, this is the winner. The chips, there’s enough structural integrity to load up on all the nacho toppings that you want. It goes into your mouth clean and easy as long as you’re, you know, enthusiastic. And then the triangles, cuts up your mouth, you don’t want that. Rounds, too symmetrical, boom. Strip, absolute win. Everybody do your best strip. I am in love with the strips. Everybody do your best strip. Do your best strip. You from out of town? I noticed a tan line around your ring finger. You know what that means! This myth has been munched! 1, 2, 3, all eyes on me! 1, 2, eyes on you. Thank you, my little ducklings. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. Myth Munchers! We tested all the nacho myths. We busted some of them. Some of them busted us. But! Freshly shredded cheese really does make a difference. Not having all of that caked up cellulose in there. Myth number two, broiling really just is the best way. It gets the cheese melted quick before your chips have a chance to dehydrate and get over baked. Layering, yeah, don’t do it. Don’t do it. Individually topped, it’s fun, but also variety is the spice of life. Myth number four, it turns out strips, I mean you heard what we had to say about strips. I don’t want to repeat it. It’s too dirty. We simply can’t. But you can get a lot of toppings on there. It goes in the mouth nice and easy. Myth Munchers! Yeah! How many did you get right? My prediction is fresh cheese, broil, layered, and round, and I need a Lactaid, oh God. I got two. Not bad, Lily, how many did you get right? Fresh, broil, individually topped, strips. I’m “nacho” girl. I’m taken. I got three right. A little overachiever over here, and Nicole? Freshly shredded, oven, layer, and strips. Two. But I got, but I got, but I got strips, so I feel like I deserve at least half a point. I’ll grant Nicole two and a half. What? Freshly shredded, oven, no layering, triangle. I only got two right. I believed in the triangles. Vee, That means you and I got to eat six pounds of cold shredded cheese. Oh, well, Myth Munchers, thank you so much for going on this journey, together, do we all touch knees in solidarity? Yeah! I don’t like feeling the draft on my knees. This is weird. I really regret cutting my pants. Jorts are sacred. Ripped jeans are profane. Chips are the new Zodiac sign. Check out what chip you are at sporked.com