Hey, I’m Teddy Swims, and this is my last meal. Every person has exactly two things in common. We all gotta eat, and we’re all gonna die. Today’s guest has more than 4 billion streams on Spotify. He’s nominated for Best New Artist at the Grammys. In his new album, I’ve Tried Everything, but Therapy Part 2 is out now. More impressively though, he might be the worst server in the history of the Loganville, Georgia Chili’s. Teddy Swims, welcome to the show. I have heard that, yeah. I actually made contact with one of your former Chili’s team members. Yeah. And they confirmed that you forgot damn near every order. However, you were so nice and used to sing to yourself. They said you made guests at the restaurant so happy that you alls got the best of — You know, I think the first time I ever waited tables, yeah, my boss at the time had told me, he’s like, man, you know, table 23 has been waiting on their ranch for four hours. You know, but he said the way he’s, he’s like, you could be bad at this job, but you’ve taught me the power of charisma and the way you make people feel, they don’t care what you do, you know? And I think, I think it’s just the way you treat people and the way you love people. They’d rather be loved and have a diet Coke instead of a Coke any day of the week than be mistreated. You know, that’s beautiful, man. Have you thought about your last meal before? I, I think, I, I never thought about being on like death row or anything though, so I guess it’s never really occurred to me to think about what my last meal would be. Did you learn anything about yourself in the process? Like, oh, I didn’t know that about myself. Yeah, I, I realized that like, um, I try, cause I try to eat clean for the most part and try to like, but I realize why I’m, I’m, I realize why I’m fat [bleep] my whole life, you know, cause all the things that I love are like not the things that, but I think everybody does, right? Everybody loves [bleep] food. Yeah, I think so, I mean, there’s like a reason that people love that kind of food, right? I think it’s like a gene inside you, but then all the combination of experiences growing up, you know, all the memories, the happiness associated with it, you know, drowning in a ball pit covered in mac sauce. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Uh, how often do you think about death in general? So my mom’s best friend was a mortician growing up and my mom recently over the last few years, it’s like started like, uh, she, she was, she was doing like hair and makeup cause she’s a cosmetologist and barber and so she started doing like hair and makeup for a lot of people and, and like a lot of people in our family who had passed away and she found like a whole passion for that, you know, if like people sending her messages, like you made my aunt look so beautiful. You made, and she, she really fell into love with it. And my, so my older brother at the time started like getting into body removal and pickup and stuff. And that was a time in my life where I had to see a lot more like, nothing like that, I wanted to you know, I remember my mom the first time she started doing that being like, let me take you on a tour and like open the freezer up and you know, somebody’s like. How old are you when you saw that? I mean this was just a few maybe a couple years ago, you know, maybe five or six years ago and I don’t, I don’t feel like I’m afraid of death or like in any way, like scared to die. I just think that like something about seeing a dead body is kind of weird, you know? And I, and I, I asked myself then, and I’ve dealt with it for a minute. Why do I feel so uncomfortable around, I mean, I guess it’s a dead person. So I should feel, should I feel uncomfortable or should I feel comfortable? Well, I think most people, the fact that you are like questioning yourself about that, I think is really novel. I don’t think a lot of people do that. They just assume like, oh, death, uncomfortable, sort of revolting to the human experience. But yeah, I guess if you really question why, I mean, Yeah, why do we feel that way? You know, yeah, so I should feel more comfortable with it. You know, I should, and I, like, again, as I was watching my older brother, like, he would go and pick up these people and be on call all night and go and picking up these people and, and wasn’t allowed, at the time, wasn’t allowed to have, like, facial hair or, like, you know, that was also kind of a rule too, like, to go up there with no facial hair and a suit and, like, I don’t know, be, like, super clean cut, you know, when you did it. Which is like, I don’t know why people, people can get sensitive about who picks up the people that they love and just that experience in general has got to be bonkers, man. And the irony is it’s never for the person who’s actually deceased, it’s for the living because like you said. Yeah, it’s just like the funeral, you know? Like the funeral is always for the people that they left behind and never for the actual person that’s gone because, you know, at the, I think at the core. Dead people don’t care that they’re dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got dead people’s stuff to worry about. You know what I mean? They ain’t worrying about it. Well, shoot, man. I’m glad you got a lot of life. Left to live here. You ready to eat your last meal? I can’t wait. Let’s do it Teddy for the first course of your final meal a combination of foods that I hope to god has never been consumed before First we got the McDouble that’s two tenth pound beef patties, one single slice of cheese, pickles, onions, ketchup, mustard, on a bun with the side of mac sauce. We have the Chick-fil-a chicken biscuit and then of course we got clase azul, the king of tequila, you classy son of a biscuit. Hand painted ceramic bottle, coming out of Mexico with some OJ on the side. God, I do like, do you say grace? What do we do now? I think yeah sure we could definitely uh, we could definitely say grace, I’d love to say grace. Let’s do that. Let’s do it. Let’s let’s thank God right now for this beautiful experience once together and this beautiful food, thank you. I hope it nourishes our body and our body for your service. In Jesus name. In Jesus name. Teddy Swims. Close enough. Can I pour you up some of this Clase Azole? Yes, please. Please, man. Tell me about this, you’re a tequila man. Sure am. This runs about $200, uh, a bottle, plus retail, but get it in the club, it’s a lot more expensive. Do you remember the first time you had Clase Azole? Yes, I sure do, man. Um, so I was, I was actually at, um, Dominique Wilkins house, uh, and he’s, you know, he lives in my hometown in Conyers, and, uh, he, he had poured us some of this. And then, uh, we smoked his Dominique Wilkins cigars and it was my first, like, cigar I had with him, too. And I just, after I tasted this, it was just, like, absolute candy, you know? And so it, I fell in love with it since, and. Cheers, brother. Ah, it’s so delicious. It hits, it goes down caramelly. Oh, thank you. Dominique Wilkins. This is the first time I’ve thanked you on the show. It won’t be the last time. Greatest donkey to ever live. Amen. Tell me about the fast food array here. Okay, so, um, I’ll start with the McDouble. Um, I didn’t ever realize, you know, I mean, I grew up with three brothers, and so we were like a little broke, you know, my dad so always was like go get like 10 McDoubles bring them home and we’d be pumped, you know and I didn’t know how much the McDouble meant to me until I had did like this one phase and a few years ago in my life where I went two years without eating meat and I also did a vegetarian thing. And the one thing I craved the most was a McDouble, weirdly. And I, and there’s hardly any actual meat. Yeah, exactly. And so I, I don’t know why I wanted my first like meal back at meat was, was McDouble. I didn’t know how much that meant to me until I didn’t have it anymore. It’s that siren song of Ronald McDonald. And so, so since then, I just like, I always, I don’t give these to myself very often, but I try, I just always know this is, I think still arguably one of the best burgers that will ever be. I fully agree. It almost eats like a dumpling. You and I have both, we were both born in 1992, both grew up with like broke divorced dads in an all boys household. Oh, no way. Do you remember, uh, I’m gonna dip straight in that sauce. Yeah, let’s get a dip of that going. Oh, bro. Mmm. That’s a good burger. McDonald’s had a promotion. Every Saturday, you could get a hamburger for 29 cents, and every Sunday you get hamburgers for 39 cents, but it was limit 10. I don’t remember the price point on it I guess until I started paying for them, which is you know, much later in life. They used to be double cheeseburgers for a dollar, but then they took one slice of cheese out. Which is frankly not even cheese, you know, but it is. How much did that have cost? I think we hold, like, so much emotional space connected to foods in our life, right? And I know for me, like, food was always the cheapest way to bring happiness and togetherness, right? Like you said, my dad would show up with a sack of Jack in the Box, right? Cost $8, brought us so much happiness. That also sort of left me emotionally dependent on food for happiness, though, because I, like, connected those two things together. I think there is a time where I’ve found myself, for so long in my life, when, when, when it comes to heartbreak and sadness. that, you know, you tend to, uh, fall more so on food. I find that I am the hungriest I am when, when I’m sad or I’m the hungriest I am when I’m, when I’m heartbroken and somebody leaves me, it’s like, yeah, I, I probably gained 20 pounds, you know, and I think. I think this is comfort, man. It even feels comforting. It’s soft and warm. Yeah, it makes you feel safe, and I, yeah, I feel close to, I guess, I never really thought about it like that, too, until, like, I realized, like, maybe the reason I love this McDouble’s is because I feel close to my father and my brothers, and that’s such a weird thought, I didn’t, I didn’t think that this, this meant that much to me until you just said that, which is such a beautiful thing. Dude, I mean, some people grew up with, like, grandma’s baking them pies, or mom’s making a meatloaf, or whatever, but, like, I grew up with a divorced dad buying me McDouble’s, you know what I mean? And, like, that has the same amount of emotional weight for me. Thanks, dad. You are the best, bro. You did it bro. To divorced dads everywhere, God bless you. Um, crack open the Chick-fil-A. Okay. You’re, Conyers, Georgia. Suburb of Atlanta. Yeah. Chick-fil-A, Atlanta Classic. Jesus Chicken man. This is Jesus chicken right here, man. Don’t even go in on a Sunday. Well see. I think this a, and Chick-fil-A is always, I’m not a huge fan, honestly, of the, of the, um. of the lunch or like the rest of the day with Chick-fil-a It’s just like it’s kind of mid to me. Yeah, but I think with, that’s crazy, yeah, I’ve never thought that would happen. Teddy, all things are possible on the show Last Meals. But I think for me, we used to when my older brother was in high school started high school like a couple years before I did and I was still in like seventh grade him my mom started doing this thing with me my cousins where on thursday mornings about 7 am, we’d start our Thursday mornings with Chick fil a biscuits, you know, so I think I just had one of these actually yesterday in New York so I’ve I always miss this man. This is this reminds me of my childhood as well. Yes, jet setter, touring around the world, there’s a Chick fil a everywhere. That’s crazy, too. It makes me so happy how happy that makes you. Yeah, keep the mac sauce around. That’s crazy, bro. I’m gonna have to start keeping this in my pocket. It’ll come up to body temperature too, which is where it’s best at. I want to talk about your new album. I’ve Tried Everything but Therapy Part Two. Now I understand that you have since tried therapy in between part one and two. Yes, sir. But I want you to tell me about all the things that you tried instead of therapy and how successful they were. Um, lots of drinking. How successful is that? Yeah. I mean, I’ve done that too. I think, I think it’s pretty damn good. I think, you know, alcohol is maybe, uh, it’s been one of the most useful tools of my life. I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t want to say that in like the worst way or in a problematic way, but. I say that really earnestly as well. And if you use the word tool, it’s like. Well, it can be a tool to help you in certain situations, right? Yeah, I think one thing it’s been for me is like, even in a writing situation, I love to use tequila for writing. Or you’re more comfortable with your ideas and who you are as a person. You’re more like confident in a way that gives you this like, blind, stupid confidence that’s like, such a. I, I feel like with alcohol, I, I always picture my brain almost like a race car track, and it’s almost like the cars are going too fast around it, and I either need something to make the track faster or make the cars slow down. And so, to me, like, alcohol, it, it makes the car slow down just a little bit for everything to sort of catch up. You gotta, you gotta know the, the space for it, cause I, I feel like in my life I have had, I have had an issue with it in my life, you know, several times, and had to have like, I do this thing where I try to like make sure I take breaks from it, you know, like take two months here and stop and take a month here, make sure I’m in control of it because it’s easy to have, especially in this job, in this line, like, you know, there’s my, my every day on stage is, is a lot of people’s Friday, you know, and no matter what, it’s a Monday or Tuesday, they’ve, they’ve planned this whole thing and take it off work the next day and brought their aunt and mom and sister and their dog, you know, and they’re like, I still got to it. Yeah. Get up and sing and work tomorrow, and it’s a hard thing to do. It was a balance that took me a long time, but I’m still trying to learn to like, not overdo it all the time. You get in the habit of thinking that your job is to be a good time, whereas it’s kind of not, though. Your job is to do your job, you know what I mean? In certain ways, I know it’s a lot more complicated with that, but especially what you do. Um, but to me, a lot of it is like, you gotta protect that for yourself, which is so much easier said than done, especially when you love that validation coming from people and having a good time. Oh, yeah, having a good time. Yeah, it’s a great time. Amen. What, what have you learned from therapy? Um, so, so me and my girlfriend, we, um, we’ve been doing couples therapy as well, because, you know, as we’re getting ready to have a kid, it’s, it’s been important to her. Now, especially me that I think she was so wonderful about being like, look, baby, we got to make sure our communication, we got our baggage taken care of. We know how to communicate with each other so we can bring this child into a safe, loving space and not be punishing this child with our trauma or baggage, you know? And, and so she’s been so wonderful about that. And I mean, I think, I think the biggest thing I’ve learned from it is that what I thought love was. Up until now was, it can be surrender. It can be love. It doesn’t have to be this like pulling teeth and this up and down and it’s like high highs and low lows. And I’m worthy and I’m deserving of love. And, um, and, and I guess there’s so many times where I felt like I was choosing this one thing cuz somewhere deep down. I thought I guess I wasn’t I wasn’t deserving of love or I thought I had to go seek something and I haven’t found myself in bad positions and choosing the same partner over and over again and not quite knowing because I can sing and I can write from a heartbreak that I’ve already had instead of like always constantly living in turmoil to like I don’t know, I don’t need to be sad to to sing about sad things. I’ve already been through those. That sounds like a big thing, one congrats on having a kid man and also a man shout out to your girl for believing in you to go to therapy for best the first place. Because I, I think I have that same thing that you have where it’s like, I would’ve never gone to therapy myself. My wife is the one that influenced me to do it. And we started in couples therapy and then I moved to individual therapy. See guys? Yeah, they Trojan horse you in there, man. What a beautiful woman to do that, man. Agreed. Rather than be like, you need therapy. Mm-hmm. You idiot. You know? Yeah. What, what a what a what a beautiful thing. What a strong woman to be like. A real strong woman like that, man, she’ll finesse you into like healing yourself. And I need to be tricked! I need to be tricked! Yeah! Naming the album that was kind of to talk about, to talk about why we have this, uh, this thing in our heads that we, we, you’re crazy if you go to therapy or this or that, you know? And, and I wanted to kind of. I wanted to kind of bring up the conversation, like, openly with people about, about therapy, and how about, everybody needs it. Good or bad place in your life. Everybody needs, or everybody can benefit from it, not needs it. Everybody can benefit from it. And I think, uh, I think also it was, it was also promised to myself after the first one was done that I would stop, like, pushing it back. So, so that way I’ll keep, I would keep going into conversations and people be like, so have you tried therapy? And I, until the point that I got so embarrassed from saying no, I actually pushed myself into it, you know. You tricked yourself, but you played yourself, that’s great. Yeah, sometimes you gotta do that to pull the trigger on something like, I believe everybody, like, should get it eventually, but, you know, and I still kind of felt, like, weird about it, and I don’t know where that was. I’m glad I have though. Teddy for course number two of your final meal we got the full brisket combo plate with the mac and cheese and the greens cooked down with a little bit of ham hocks and pickles, spicy barbecue sauce, regular barbecue sauce and briskets coming from Bloodso’s, best barbecue in LA. Then we got the chips and queso, this is infinitely refillable and I’d like to think if you were in heaven you would just be continuously eating a stream of queso out of a river. Oh, and the queso river in heaven is, is absolutely bonkers. It sounds, man, that’s, that’s my full back tattoo that I’m gonna get. Yeah. Dig in, man. Tell me about it. I’ve been looking forever in, in LA for decent barbecue. And I, so hopefully this is going to be, if this is the one, I’m gonna be pumped. Now I’m nervous, man. Now I’m nervous. Bludso’s, Kevin Bludso is from Central Texas. Mmm, yeah. Teddy Swim’s approved? Bro, let’s go back to the Mac sauce. Let’s go back to the Mac sauce, dawg. That’s effed up, dude. Yeah, it works, though. That’s the thing, is it works. You know what I mean? On the sandwich, bro? You know what the worst thing about being, like, a food guy is? Is that you can talk yourself into anything. Cause I would dip the brisket in there and I’d be like Well, Alabama white sauce. That was actually mayonnaise, basically, opposite of vinegar. This is basically, nah, man, you’re dipping brisket in mac sauce. You’re a piece of trash, and I’m right there with you, baby. I’m gonna, I’m gonna hit the, the queso real quick and figure out what we’re doing there. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Look at that steam coming off, man. You can’t really find, like, queso is like, a big thing for, for us, especially like, you know, Texas, Mexico, but also in, in, in Georgia, man. Like, I don’t think there’s like a, a, like a nice, like, I guess like a five star Mexican restaurant, you know, where I’m from. It’s like, it’s all the same run of the mill, yeah. I want to bring it back to Conyers, Georgia, because you grew up in a football playing family, your dad played some semi pro football, you played football, your brothers played football, it would be so easy to look at your life and assume it was the classic high school musical story, right? Quits the football team to do, uh, musical theater, community shuns him for not being manly enough, but it sounds like you didn’t exactly have that experience. Yeah, um, I call myself like the fat Troy Bolton, you know? Someone’s gotta make that jersey. Yeah, fat Bolton. I wanted to quit football to do music. Um, like focus on theater. I remember my mom was like so bummed out about it. She had like brought all my stuff, all my trophies, all our little stuff that we had met since six years old. You know, I’ve been playing and she’s like, baby, we’re a football team. Like we’re a football family. Why would you do this to us? We’ve always done football. And she was so confused. And I just told her, I was like, I want to do music. I really like music. This is what I want to do. And I remember her coming to, um, my, my first performance. Uh, we did this show called Damn Yankees and I had like all of two lines in it and as soon as it got done, I remember her coming to me and saying, baby, I’m so sorry. This is where you belong. You’re a superstar. You do. This is what you need to be. Yeah. It just flipped just watching me on stage. It just flipped it upside down for her. And I was telling her, you know, like no matter what I’m having, I, we’re going to get back on that field. I just want to be like a coach of something. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully I’m going to have a son. And I can like coach a football team. I want to do like the, the Snoop Dogg, like you league, you know, Netflix series. that’s what I’m trying to do. Eventually. Like the Teddy Swims, like little league and, and just coach my son. And like, hopefully I get that opportunity. I mean, if not, well. I don’t, I mean, maybe my, maybe a daughter wants to play football, or maybe I’ll just do the Teddy Swims, like, cheerleading league. I don’t know, I don’t know. Teddy Swims chess league, man. Do it. Chess league, yeah. Whatever, whatever they’re into, I’m into. I found, so my, my wife is really into musical theater, and I was never a theater kid growing up. I was, I was an athlete, but the first time I went to see Wicked, I was watching it, and I went, oh, this is sports. This is sports, man. They gotta come out there, they’re training, they’re prepping, they’re moving, they’re working as a team. You know, it’s incredibly physical. So for me, I’m like, whatever my kid chooses to do. Clarinet, that’s sports. Chess, that’s sports. Yeah, it really is, though. It really is, man. It takes, it takes a lot of physical, yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, what, what, what, actually, what makes something a sport, you know? Chess is a sport. They show darts on ESPN, too. I don’t know if darts are a sport, but all I know is if my kid wants to, wants to play darts, I’m gonna make him the best damn darts champion in the world. But out of luck, mean? Amen, amen. Tell me about your dad telling you, you should drop out of cosmetology school to pursue music and that you’d always have a roof over your head. Cause that seems like an incredibly brave thing to do for a parent that a lot of people wouldn’t. My dad, we’re on the way back from Texas and he does this yearly run to Texas with all his high school buddies he came up with. And they do this big ol party for a weekend, this guy’s weekend. It was my first time going out there at 19 and meeting all his friends for the first time. And on the way back, he had told me, you know, like, what do you want to do? We had this long talk and I’ll never forget it. He said, son, if you want to be, if you want to be a singer, son, don’t go back to school. You’re wasting your time. You’re if you don’t focus fully on this and put everything into this, you’re not going to make it. You know, you’ve got to put everything into this. I’m also at the time I was I was like screaming in a metal band and he didn’t even like that kind of music. And so I don’t know why he would he believed in me, but I don’t know why he would. Tell me to shoot for something. I guess he just saw it and wanted to always be that that that supportive and wonderful. Talking about that time in 2019, you basically had like a six month sprint. You’d uploaded some covers on youtube, they started taking off and you were like, hey six months we sprint we hit this as hard as we can, no guarantees. It’s gonna work out. But like we got to put everything we have into it. How much happier are you now, if at all, versus that like crazy struggle six month period? I thought that if I did get the success and I did get this like ability to do music full time that I would, I would love myself, you know, I would like all my financial problems all my like self worth problems would all go away and, um, I was, I felt like at some point that I was, I was lying to everybody around me or they were lying to me, you know, I, like that, that I, I still felt empty. I still felt like I hated myself after I got what I looked for. And, and so that’s, uh, that’s another thing we’ve been uncovering in therapy, you know what I mean? Cheers to that, man. And listen, hey, I think you could have tequila in therapy. Yeah, I mean. The way someone phrased it to me was like, you think getting money is going to solve all your problems. Getting money. Solves money, and then you’re left with all the other problems you had before. Well, you know, and I think that, that as well as as um as doing what you love I thought I thought when people bought into me and I started telling me that my feelings were okay and then I know I thought I just thought that like when people told me I was beautiful, and I was wonderful, that I would feel that way I thought when people bought in and instead the more people that bought in, the less I felt beautiful or wonderful or you can convince yourself that they’re all lying. Yeah, or that I’m lying to them, you know? And that was, that was the biggest thing for me, as I just got this, like, imposter syndrome of, or it just started feeling like pressure that I had to, like, live up to, like, what I told them I was, that I thought I was gonna become. And once I became that, I just was not that at all. Cause it’s never like, once I get to the, once I win 10 Grammys, then I’m gonna be happy. Once I get 10 Platinum albums, then, you can always make it 12, you can always make it 15. Oh, and it’s what happens, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No matter what. I’ve heard you say before that, like, when you die, you want to be the greatest of all time. Yeah. Do you still feel that way? Or have your opinions on that kind of shifted? I don’t know, man. You talking about loving yourself? Now you gotta be the greatest of all time. That’s pressure, man. Yeah, but I think it’s, I think it’s like the thing that I don’t, I don’t think I’ll ever feel that way. But I think that the constant wanting to learn and wanting to be the greatest is like the thing that keeps me going, you know? Like, that’s my why in like doing it. And now I also got a new why of like being a daddy. That’s my why. At least if they can say that. That’s fine. Now, now I don’t, now I don’t need everybody in the planet to say that. Now, if they just say that, I’ll be alright. You know, everybody’s supposed to use their voice to lift up or do whatever. There’s, there’s something that you’re going to do. There’s something because we do what we do that brought us together, right? Yeah. You could touch people that I’ll never be able to touch based off of who relates to you. And so it’s, it’s, it’s kind of your duty. If anything, to talk and say and go through what you’re going through, because that’s it’s, you can touch these people. You can, you can help people. You can save people by just opening your mouth and telling what’s going on with your life. And I think it’s your duty, my duty, and everybody else’s duty on their planet to understand that their voice is so powerful and then use it in whatever way that it, that falls out, they should be using their voice, you know? And so I just, I want to reach the most. You know, I guess change and, and positivity that I could possibly do to, to inspire or to, uh, move and to, also, I guess at the end of the day, feel important too, you know? Teddy, for the third course of your final meal, we have the Sherman Oaks Delicacy. This is the Philly cheesesteak with whiz and all of the fixins. We’re talking peppers, onions, mushrooms, jalapenos from the Philly boys. Also, the spicy lemon pepper wings from the Philly boys with a side of blue cheese. We got just a big [bleep] Tom and Jerry’s cartoon plate of spaghetti and meatballs here, and then some Mexican Coca Colas. You meant Coca Cola, right? Yes, sir. I do. Yes, sir. Yeah, when I put Mexican Coke, I did not mean the Bam Bam, baby. Tell me about the Philly Boys Philly Cheese Steak. Well, you know, this is the closest you can get to the real thing. These boys also, man, also my boys. Shout out to Philly Boys in Sherman Oaks right down the road. Um, these guys, they import the bread from Philly. Everything’s from Philly. This is the best it gets right here, bro. This is the best it gets in LA. And the best it gets, period. I’m, I’m in. Cheers, brother. That’s so damn good. That’s so proper. With a proper Philly cheesesteak, you shouldn’t really have to chew the meat, technically, right? It should be able to slide down your throat hole like a boa constrictor eating its prey. And I’m gonna put a little Mac sauce on it, see how that goes. Baby, the Mac sauce is here to stay. If this is your last meal, why not Mac sauce everything? Oh, that’s crazy, bro. That’s really crazy. Teddy, when are we gonna fly too close to the sun with the Mac sauce? I don’t know, bro, because we haven’t reached it yet. Yes, the Mac sauce goes on. Everything. Maybe when we get to dessert, that’s when it happens. Whoa. Okay. We’re going wings next, or we go? Grab a wing, I want to show you something. Okay. You make what I would describe as baby making music. Yes sir. Music celebrates all the different sides of love, the good, the bad, the ugly. A lot of people have taken your song Lose Control to be their wedding first dance song. I want to show you a video of people dancing to that song, and I want you to react to it. Can you do that for me? Yes, sir. Alright. Wait, is that you? Teddy, rate it objectively on a scale of 1 to 10 from sexiness. Imagine the person’s not in the room right now. Hey, wait for the next move. Aw, I’m so honored. No way, dude. Wait for the next move. Wait for the next move. There he goes. Come on, baby! There he goes! Now he’s hittin it! Come on! You fine as hell, dawg. Oh, stop it, man. It’s only fine because of the soundtrack. Bro, I’m so honored. No way! So we’re talking like a 9, 9.5 out of 10? That’s a 12 er, bro. Easy, man. Uh, that was about three, that was about three weeks ago. Wow, no way you got. Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you so much, man. But no, uh, we were arguing about our first dance song for a while. Playful arguing. Bro, you made me cry. Don’t worry, dude. Stop, stop, stop. When I brought up I didn’t know, bro. I was really getting teared up. Dude, give me a [bleep] hug. I am so honored, man. Are you kidding me? No, it was, um. He doesn’t, he doesn’t just play that every time he’s a guest on here. He doesn’t just play that and put different songs everytime? No, no, no. I actually did that with, uh, with Post Malone. I played White, White Iverson was my first, uh, first dance. Oh, no way. I’m so honored to hear that, man. Thank you for letting me be a part of your big day. The one thing I really love about music is just its ability to make you feel an emotion. And when I hear your voice, it just I want to, I want to grab somebody. I want to, I want to hold them, right? It’s just filled with so much love and pain and all the things that make us human. And so, I just want to share that with you, man. That’s so kind, man. Eat a chicken wing, eat a chicken wing. Oh, yeah, then I can blame it on the spice. That is so kind. I don’t know what to say. That’s so beautiful to hear, man. I’m so glad I get to spend that time with you and now. We’re buds forever, man. You make sure you, you make sure you send her my love, too. And I can’t wait to meet her. That is a hell of a chicken wing, man. Lemon pepper, man. Teddy, I want to bring you back to a slightly lesser known song of yours. The Ghost of Your Dead Cat off Heroic Bears 2011 EP. Jesus Christ. You say, I am the artist who paints his smile. I am the artist who hides his face. You got a face full of tattoos, Teddy. Are you hiding the face of Jaden Dimmesdale? I listened to the whole Heroic Bear EP, goddammit. Teddy, I’m at the gym this morning and I’m pumping it out. No, I want you to like, look back at that moment in time and sort of like I don’t know, reflect on, uh, how fun that was, how much you’ve grown since. Those are, those are, man, those are still my boys, man. Still some of my closest friends, and also Jesse, who still plays guitar with me, was in that band too, you know. And so, uh, we sucked, dude. Eighteen year olds should suck. Yeah! I want to stress that. I can’t believe you listened to that record. It’s so bonkers. I listened to all of it, man. I think it’s really cool to see that progress, especially in an era where you can go on TikTok and you can feel so bad about yourself of all these people succeeding very very early on. Are you glad that you didn’t really see major, major success in music until you’re what like 27 28. Um, I guess I guess now I am, you know, uh, Yeah, because you know when you’re in it like and I wanted it all right now immediately, you know and I always like I still sometimes get so like want it now, want it now, want it now, everything right now, and I, I just wouldn’t have been ready for that, I wouldn’t have been, I wouldn’t have had the proposition, I wouldn’t have known love, I wouldn’t have known these things that I, that I should know now, I wouldn’t have had the proposition to help people and to truly know what I want to say and how to live and, and I wouldn’t have had the, the, the lessons and the things that I can share and the, and, and the real help that I can provide for myself and them. You know, at the time I was just, I would’ve been in and out the door if I would’ve, like, there’s no way I would still be doing it. If I’d did it, then, you know, there’s no way, there’s a reason something didn’t happen earlier. Amen. Yeah. Yeah. I, amen man. You weren’t ready to receive that in a way. Yeah. I think, I think no matter what the, what you believe that universe is, is right. Also, have you tried the hot lemon pepper in the mac sauce? Oh my god, I haven’t. I’m sorry, I was busy mac saucing my meatballs. Wait, hold on. Everything gets mac sauced. Just don’t skip a step, you know what I mean? I’m just gonna tell you, just, just, Mac sauce in the meatball is a great idea, though. It’s still great on the lemon pepper, like, I think blue cheese might be better, but, where’s the spaghetti come from? Um, I don’t know. Just a big spaghetti boy? Yeah. Who is it, man? I hate it, I hate to sound like, I hate to sound like Eminem, but Mama Spaghetti, though. Yeah, I don’t know if that’s copyrighted, you gotta write that into a song now. Mama will always make me spaghetti. And then my older brother was like, kind of like I don’t know, he had the palette of a toddler, and she used to make him like butter noodles, you know? And I’m like, you don’t like marinara sauce, you weiner? Like, that’s so weird. Tell me how much it means for you to be on like the precipice of Fatherhood. It sounds like you had a lot of really incredible family role models growing up. I’m about to take this off. I’m kind of sweating. There’s the tequila. And you got the vent holes in the shoulders, baby. I know. I’m not even using it. You’re like an IndyCar right now. Aerodynamic. Cutting through the wind. Okay. Go ahead. Sorry. What did it mean for you to have positive role models of love and affirmation? I know like your parents both went through a lot of stuff. But like, do you look at them? You’re like, this is the type of parent that I want to be. Yeah. Yeah, man. I’m like, they were just, they never, they never, I know they never punished us for the things that they were going on their life. And I think also to like, you know, I think my dad was 21 and my mom was 23 on their second kid and I’m 32 now. And like you know, I got a lot of growing up to do, you know, they were babies having babies and they always just told like let me be me unconditionally love me and let me express myself and never you know, never shame me for anything that I felt and I remember my mom, you know, like I, when she was kind of coming up and she was learning how to do hair, like I would always be pulling her hair through a cap and bleaching her hair when I was a kid, but I, I would, she was always letting me get piercings when I was younger or like was, was dyeing my hair to like the colors of my football team. I was like on like the Miami hurricanes, like. That would have been like the Ray Lewis, like Ed Reed. And so like, one thing I’ll say about it, man, I hope it’ll be that for my kids, but I remember my mom said the most wonderful thing. It was a sweet nugget that my mother said to me the other day. She said, uh, it was a couple months ago, she goes, uh, You know, I had this lady, my customer came in and she looked at a picture of you and Kalen on the wall in front of me and she said, Glenna, how’d you raise such good boys? And you know what I told them? I said, hell, they raised me. And I was like, Just broke down crying. I said, how profound was that? You know, she’s man. I’m just so lucky dude to have, I’m so excited to watch them become grandparents, but I’m scared to have them be grandparents because like how am I gonna be cool? You know, I just want my baby to think I’m cool, man You know, I want him to like think I’m like, I hope I hope that I’m like, I don’t know I don’t wanna cry cause we got so much to eat, but I want them to think I’m cool you know, I want I want to look at that baby and the baby be like you’re the best, I hope, I hope that they talk about me the way I talk about my dad. Like, I hope, y’all go ahead and get on out of here. So I can look cool, man. It’s like the opener outshining the headliner. No, no, no. Get the hell out of here, Grandma and Grandpa. Stop. Mama’s already called herself Glam Ma, dude. Can you believe that? She got a copyright on that? Glam Ma is crazy. Is that a Etsy store? Glam Ma is crazy. I’m like, I don’t need a daughter if that’s the case. I hope I don’t have a daughter. Teddy, for the final course of your final meal, we gotta take shots of the mac sauce. It’s staying, baby. We got the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. We got the big boy Reese’s peanut butter cuts. We have just a wedge of cheesecake and a glass of whole organic Strauss dairy milk. Only grass spread from California. Yeah, happy cows. Happy cows, man. We don’t have to, we can, we’ll save the mac sauce. I just don’t, I mean, I will, I will do a cookie dip if it’s like, if it means that much to you. I just want to like Simba you before you die with mac sauce. I would love that, go for it, I’ll take it, I’ll take it, go for it. And then we’ll run this last one just like. Simba. From the day we Come on, what a great, what a dude, what a soundtrack, man. Alright, I’m gonna get too long. That’s gonna turn into a rash real quick, man. I’ve been there before. Tell me about the chocolate chip cookies. I mean, chocolate chip cookies. No, I just love chocolate chip cookies, man. There was actually I’m not gonna say this. I’m gonna say this. Okay, so me and my buddy Chris, I love a chocolate chip cookie. I used to be a huge fan of the, uh, when I was working at Chili’s, they had the skillet cookie. Me and my buddy actually, uh, Chris Leak, we were talking about, we were gonna do a bake sale, like a weekly bake sale when we were younger about, um, we’d call it Cakes for Cakes originally, right? And what we’re gonna do is, we’re gonna do a bake sale every week to raise money for um, a particular girl to get the BBL. Procedure that she wanted very done and medically necessary, so we’re gonna call it cakes for cakes, but then we essentially realized that cakes are a lot harder to bake than cookies, and we also realized he was a tit guy So then we started a nonprofit called cookies for tits instead not as catchy, but. What I like about it though is it’s honest, it’s more honest. There’s no double entendre. You’re not hiding anything like we’re selling cookies. I thought cake for cake It was like, wait, cakes for cakes. It’s like, it’s such a better, like, idea, but. Do you guys still, like, own the domain? Do you still have the copyright for CookiesforTits? Cookiesfortits.org. Oh, still warm, thick, just like cookies. You all judge from afar. Taste the organic. Let’s get a little slice of this going. Jump in, man. Dude, I love cheesecake, though, bro. Um. Let’s see if I got it. Alright, let’s get a Reese’s cup. I’m dude, I’m a big. You’re speedrunnin. Well, cause I’m tryna, I’m tryna, I’m gonna shove like a I was thinkin about doin a little. Snikies. I was thinking about doing a little shove like this moment. I immediately had a slightly different idea. And I know this is your last meal, but I was going to kind of like. Oh, a sandwich! I was going to kind of hit it crazy style. Hey, you’re the professional musician here, but But I. This ain’t no hobby, brother. This ain’t no hobby. You do this. I came out like this, man. Okay, hold on, what if we get the cookie and the I was thinking about that. Oh, [bleep]. Well, see, what I love about it is like, go for it, let’s do it. The ring is calling me, Teddy. Oh, God. The ring and the Mordor. Uh uh, that ain’t it. I ruined my day. You know, this feels like, it’s got like the burrito, uh, situation going on. Where there’s something cold, something hot, something room temp. Textural and temperature interplay, man. I wanna talk about the tattoo you got. In memoriam of your grandfather, who was a Pentecostal pastor, it’s kind of simultaneously, beautifully honoring him, but also rebelling against him. Yeah, that’s, that’s, yeah, I guess that is the juxtaposition I wanted from it. So, he was the first person I, like, saw, you know, to talk about death again. Yeah. I saw it, like, kind of firsthand, and I was, I had about 50 people at their house, and they’re, you know, my grandma was just kind of talking to everybody and keeping it down. I’m like, she’s been with him for 52 years, there’s got to be a point where she breaks, you know, and I go in the room where he’s, he’s on the ground, and she wants me to play some piano, and I’m playing some piano, and everybody leaves, and she finally goes, she does this beautiful moment where she says, Well, he’s home at last. But you left me behind and, and broke down and I, I like held her and hugged her and was like, Oh mama, I love you mama, you know, gave her a kiss and hugged on her. And, you know, that was like the biggest thing that he always said to me, it was like, you know, the calling of God was about penance, son, don’t get your face tattooed. And I, yeah, I thought it would be like funny to like get my first face tattoo in commemorance of him to like, you know, kind of be that like. Uh, if, if heaven’s real man, just save a spot for me, dog. You know what I mean? Uh, if, if you were right and, and that’s the right way to do it, then hopefully you save a spot for your boy. The Big Mac sauce spilled hot tub in the sky. Teddy, we’re going there. Yeah, sure. But no, so many people think there’s like one way to grieve, even like we said earlier, like it’s, it’s not for the dead, it’s for the living. I wanna ask you about, you, you had a, um, a, a friend and band mate, and I mean, a brother pass away, I believe in 2021. Uh, Christophe. Um, how hard did that hit you and how did you. You know, try and honor his legacy through your music, through your life. Oh, I still got a, uh, I got his tattoo. I just actually got to see his, uh, We were home for Christmas, I went to go see his kids, and he, uh, he left behind five beautiful children, man, and with the best daddy in the world, and that was one of the ones for me that was so tough, that, uh, he was the nicest guy in the world, and such a strong Christian person, too, and As I, like, there’s been so much about my life as, as He’s a pastor’s grandkid that so much of Christianity had gotten ruined from people being like, so overly judgeful and, you know, and just, it ruined for me for a long time. And he’s one of those people that like, when you see somebody who really truly stands on what they believe in. That accepts everybody else for what they believe in and does, and just does it with absolute grace. And I feel like he was a person that I met in Christianity that really kind of saved my idea of who they were. He was, he was just kind and common and did, he was, he was just like the person that you read about in that book, you know, and left behind five kids. And, and that was one of the things that was really hard for me because when he passed away, it was the first time that I was angry at God, um, because. Those times I’ve lost a lot of people in my life to whatever it was, if it was violence or if it was drugs or fentanyl, you know, I lose, I lost people too. I, I always, there was always something to learn or something to gain from that loss, but that one right there didn’t teach anybody anything instead of you just like. Five kids lost the best father in the world. And I, I, I just got to this point where I like was so angry with God for a minute. And so I equally sometimes, uh, do the thinking and the, and do the blaming at the same time. And I think, I thank God is in its entirety is of the universe or whatever you want to call it. I think it can handle it. You know, he can handle you being upset with him. And every once in a while I get pissed off. I’m like, what the you do out there? They freak a freak. Are you doing out there? Sorry. I think that’s beautiful, man. I think, uh, God can handle you saying [bleep] as well. Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah. I don’t know if YouTube can. That’s my God, man. We still need to monetize. Uh, Ted, you ready to get in the lightning round? Yeah, baby. Let’s do it, man. Who’s the one person dead or alive you’d want to share your actual last meal with? Chris Farley. What song do you want played at your funeral? I don’t know, I don’t want to do In the Arms of an Angel, cause that sounds I’m just gonna start donating to, like, a puppy charity. Yeah, see, I don’t want to do, like, a puppy moment. I think I do, um, I do, I do, uh, Go Rest High on That Mountain, like, a real, like, southern, like, you know, like, old southern little jaunt. Maybe Go Rest High on That Mountain. Uh, who’s your dream eulogizer at your funeral? My dog, my dog Kurt Tag, man. My boy, uh, who’s my, he’s my tour manager and my best friend and my roommate. I might outlive him though, but I think, I think Curtis has got to do the honors though. Uh, F. Marry. Kill. The Waterboy, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore. God, that’s so tough. It was even tough picking the three movies. Yeah. I’m also a big daddy guy. I say I’m gonna marry Happy Gilmore. Uh, I’m gonna F Waterboy, and I’m gonna kill, uh Billy Madison, I guess. I think that’s reasonable. I was at the mall the other day and I saw something and I thought of you. I got you a little gift not to go all Nardwar on, on you. Oh, the freaking Bo Shade. South Central Louisiana State University 50th anniversary of the, of the Mud Dogs winning the Bourbon Bowl. Dude, come on. This is hard. I don’t know what size you are. I don’t know if you already have one of these, but you can cut it into a crop top. I’ll, I’ll shadow box it. I’ll try to see if I can get him to sign it for me. . Yeah, dude, it was so cool. It was so cool to see him and like. Tell him, tell him, I, I could’ve showed him my two tattoos I got, and he, I told him I was gonna get a Mud Dogs logo, and he’s like, oh yeah, we’ll go get it together, and I was like, bro, I’ll hold you to that, please, dude. Count a third in, man, if you need me, I would. Alright, uh, what’s your biggest fear? Ugh, dude, I have, I have like such a weird thing about, um, I, I, I got try, trypophobia really badly, trypophobia, like, like fear of holes. Oh God, it messes me up, but like, it makes me itchy. It’s like, that’s my worst thing. It will send me into a fetal position. It’ll send me in. Like, I can’t look at like somebody step on my aunt bed or like, or like somebody like, I’ll just, Oh, I can’t do it, but it makes me itch. I hate it. I hate it. But feeling the fear hormones coming off you right now. I love it. I hate holes. On a trip of feeling, man. Good clusters of things, it just is. I see like a honeycomb, like fresh honeycomb. Oh yeah, oh dude, uh uh. It’s not my thing at all, dude. It’s not my thing. What’s your favorite fake acronym for swims? I think, uh, soft wiener in my shorts. Mine too, brother. Mine too. Or like someone who I massage sexually. What’s your greatest regret in life? I’m so happy the person that I am and who I am and I think if anything I’d go back and mess up the same thing twice. I think I, I, I don’t know what that’s like so lame to say, but I feel like really blessed and honored to be where I’m at and who I am and, and, and very okay with that. And I love that guy I am right now. So, I’m, uh, this all, that was all necessary. For all of you who didn’t get your Diet Coke at the Loganville Chili’s. Yeah, it will happen again. Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe the ranch dressing it though. Table three that’s still waiting. Yeah. Should’ve gotten it. Finally, Teddy, are you happy? Yeah, man, I’m so happy, dude. I’m happy to be here. I’m happy with my life. I’m happy, dude. I’m so happy. And it’s a choice I make every day. I didn’t start out this morning happy, I promise you that. It’s just a choice I make every day, though. I’m grateful, man. Really, truly grateful. Teddy, I am incredibly happy. I am incredibly grateful that you stopped by to do this. If you want to deliver your last words to that camera right there. Hey, uh, it’s Ted. Love you so much. Man, we just had our last, ate my last meal, so uh. Thank you very much. I’m filled with so much milk, tequila, and love right now. This is how I want to die. Should we try this coca cola in the thing? Would you yeah, I’ve never tried that before so you said something about the pepsi in this situation. I grew up drinking pilk, that’s a combination of pepsi and milk. Yeah, let’s just go try it. He’s, we don’t have to do it on camera, he’s going into the grave man. I just want to try it cuz you said something about it I was like it just sounds like a melted coke float. Oh, you’re going coke into the. oh is it the other way? Oh, I don’t know. This is my first time Oh, shoot. You gotta go, Teddy, you gotta go. It’s not bad, right? It’s not good. It’s not good. It’s not bad. I wouldn’t have expected that. I didn’t know it was like a [bleep] Mentos situation. And thank you all so much for stopping by. Check out Teddy’s new album, I’ve Tried Everything But Therapy Part 2. He’s going on a sold out European tour this year. Yes, sir. Hot dang. A couple weeks, a week or so or something like that. Hell yeah, and you can find him in the States later on this year. Check out tickets at teddyswims. com. You’re not dot edu? No. Dot gov. Dot gov. Yeah. . Check out our last Meals hat and more@mythical.com.