Yeah, it’s fat transfer. I transferred the fat from my legs to my boobs. Nice. I was thinking about doing that, actually. People tell me money cannot buy happiness. It can. Yeah. Welcome to Trevor Talks Too Much, everyone. The show where I just don’t shut up, but sometimes I do, because I will bring a guest on, and I talk to them, and I can see if we can become friends. And sometimes becoming friends with someone requires me to shut up. I’m your host, Trevor Evarts. I’m the mythical swag lord master baker, wearer of lots of hats. I think I’ve worn a hat every single episode of this show so far. And I’m gonna keep that trend going. I love hats. Jamie. You wear hats well. Thank you. It’s ’cause my hair looks bad. Today, I spoke with Jiaoying Summers, who is a comedian, and owner of two comedy clubs in Los Angeles. God, she’s so funny. She is just, she’s a riot. And when I tell you she is the whole way comedian. Like, really freaking funny. But we talked about some of her favorite jokes to tell. We talked about how she’s trying to diversify the comedy scene in LA, which is really cool. And we also talked about how much I hate Dane Cook, and she agrees, Dane Cook sucks. You know who else I hate, Jamie? Who? The guy from SpongeBob! What? This. This is the duh. Duh duh duh duh. It connects. It ties in, okay? You remember that episode of SpongeBob where they have like the talent show or whatever? Yes. At the Krusty Krab? Yes. And there’s the guy in the back that goes, “Oh brother, this guy stinks!” You remember that guy? Yeah. That character in SpongeBob is awful, okay? He’s the worst. He never is a good character. He’s so lame in every. Like, of all the side characters in SpongeBob, him and that other blue dude gotta be my least favorite. ‘Cause he’s the same guy that’s like, “My Diet Dr. Kelp.” Oh, he’s the guy with the pickles. No, what? Wasn’t there The guy with the pickle. No. That’s different. Oh my God, that’s different. Oh wow, and I should know this. I watched all of SpongeBob. Yeah, you mean no pickles? That guy? No, they’re different people. Oh, that’s a really good impression of that guy though. Thank you, no. So there’s the guy that goes, “Oh brother, this guy stinks.” He’s the same guy that is mad about his Diet. Dr. Kelp with his pizza. He’s just a dingus every single time he’s on. Like, there are good side characters. You remember the SpongeBob side character? Sorry, lemme just get into Sponge a lot blah lore. SpongeBob lore. You remember the guy? Hilarious. When Bubble Buddy murders a guy? Yeah. That is a great side character. High tide. High tide’s coming in. Hey bro, high tide’s coming in. And then he dies, and Bubble Buddy murdered him. That’s a great side character though. And then he just floats up to heaven, all nice like. But. And then what about the? Chocolate! That’s the same guy! That’s the guy- Oh, that’s the guy. Oh brother, this guy stinks! That’s the same guy that does the chocolate. Oh now see, it’s clicking. It’s clicking now. He’s the worst side character in SpongeBob. And he’s a heckler, and I’m thinking about it because of the comedy that we just talked about comedy a lot, ’cause Jiaoying is a comedian, and now I’m thinking about how he’s a heckler. And, there’s a zit on my forehead, and it’s really bothering me. Do you want me to pop it? No. I’m good. Unless you think it’d be good content. it’s just like rubbing against this hat, and it’s irritating me, and I think I have a headache because of it. Like you know how, you know how they do like the torture where they just drop a drop of water on your head continuously, you know? Yes. And it like just is so infuriating, ’cause it’s just, you’re just dropping a drop of water on your head over and over? I think that’s what’s happening right now. ‘Cause I have this zit, but it’s not big, and it doesn’t really hurt. It’s just kind of this I can feel it, and I’ve felt it like all day, and I think it’s making me go insane. Well, I’ll inspect it whilst we get into the show. Don’t inspect my forehead. Okay, I won’t. It’s really big, and I wouldn’t like you to look at it. That’s why I wear hats everybody! Full circle, let’s get into the show. Everybody out there, listeners, viewers, wherever you may be, welcome. Jiaoying Summers. Yes. Hi. I’m so excited Trevor. Yeah. I am so excited here, yeah. That’s great, normally people aren’t too excited. They show up. They think they’re, they’re like, “Oh, going to A Good Mythical Morning with Rhett and Link, and then they come in and they see me, and they’re like, “Ah man. Well, this is okay.” You’re gorgeous. Your skin’s so good. Thank you, I appreciate that. But I know I’m too old for you. I can breastfeed you. But I just won’t tell you you’re good looking. Thank you, I appreciate that. I did just shave today. Actually, this is the first time I’ve been clean shaven in a while ’cause I’ve been really lazy about it. So I’ve got a nice smooth face today. Very beautiful skin. Thank you, thank you. I think girls don’t want to date you because you look them, you look hotter than them. ‘Cause I don’t want to date a guy who’s better looking than me, it’s- Yeah, no that’s not a, that’s not a good move. You don’t wanna do that. ‘Cause then guy, their ego gets really big, and men with an ego, you don’t want that. Yeah. That’s why so many people don’t wanna date me, ’cause my ego’s ginormous. So big. No. Jiaoying, you’re a comedian, right? Yes, me so funny. I’m here. You are funny. I’ve already been laughing a lot since you’ve been here. So, you do comedy in LA. You actually own two comedy clubs there, correct? Yes. Yeah, In Posey and Hollywood. That’s awesome. And I’m actually, I’m gonna go directly to a Comedy Store to perform tonight. Oh nice. That’s so great. What’s like your favorite thing to do, like a set about? What’s your favorite little joke you got? I know that’s such a lame question for me to ask, but like, do you have a favorite thing, like, or bit that you like to do? I think one of the favorite thing right now, ’cause I’m talking about how I can’t stand Will Smith and Jada. And you can’t say that in Hollywood. And I also talk about how Amber is. So people just like, “Oh, you should say.” I’m like, “Honey, relax. You can’t cancel me. You can’t pronounce my name.” Let’s talk about how much I hate Megan Marco, Oh my god. So I just keep going, ’cause I’m like, “Cancel me, try. You don’t know who I am.” Like a fat Lucy Liu’s being racist. Like, you don’t know. No stop. You can’t see me. That’s not nice. You are not fat Lucy Liu. Oh my god. So you like to go after celebrities a little bit? I have a lot of jokes about my life being Asian, growing up in China. But at the same time, I want to talk about what’s going on right now, ’cause I don’t want to define myself as this Asian comedian, only talk about rice, and the Chinese things. I’m just the comedian with an accent. And that’s all. Yeah, you can make jokes about anything. Exactly, I’m trying. So, me commenting everything right now, people like it a lot, and I think it’s very cool to talk about something other than being Asian. Because I’m already being Asian. ‘Cause I’m with Asian woman talking about it. Yeah, you’re always Asian. That’s not gonna change. I can’t make jokes about anything. I don’t have the- I know, it’s the worst time for you. It’s the worst. Yeah, I gotta keep it on lock. I can make jokes about white people though. Hey Jamie, guess what? White people suck. Oh my god, they do. Oh man. I can make jokes about how bad the Lakers are. I can’t believe I’m wearing this jersey. You look great. Thank you. I, it’s a cool jersey. It’s Jerry West, so it’s not like, I’m not wearing like a LeBron, or an 80 jersey. But God, the Lakers are disappointing. That’s all I got as far as the jokes go. That’s all my material. I’m already out. Thank God we have a comedian on the show to be funny. I’ll try today. Most of my jokes are actually just like self-deprecating. Those are the best jokes. Yeah, usually I just talk about how dumb I am. That’s like my favorite type of joke to make. And then Jamie gets mad. She’s like, “No, you’re not dumb.” And I’m like, “Jamie, I am.” I think if there’s something funny. I remember people tell me, I said, “I have a joke.” I’m like, “I think it’s very crazy, and stereotypical of people saying all Asian are smart. Like, I’m right here. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m stupid.” Oh man. Yeah, I mean, it’s gotta be hard. Like, I feel like being a comedian is like, ’cause a lot of people think like, “Oh, you just get up there, and you tell jokes on a stage.” Like, it’s not that easy. I have like a lot of like built in humor worked into what I do, like the shows that I’m on. There’s always stuff built in, and for me to go off of, but just like being up by yourself on a stage performing a set, like that’s not easy, and you have to really have the chops to play a crowd, and like really perform in front of people, and be able to like go with what works on the fly. So, I commend you. ‘Cause it’s easy to be funny when you’re on a stupid internet show. When you’re in front of a comedy club, I would imagine it’s harder. It’s really hard, and hecklers are ruthless. They say crazy things to me, and I just give it back to them. The more I do, the more respect I have for this job, actually. Yeah yeah, I can imagine. So how often are you doing comedy? Oh, I have minimum 10 shows a week. Wow. That’s so many. From Monday to Sunday. Wow. Because I don’t wanna see my kids. And so, how often like would you say you’re coming up with like new material? Like what? I actually come up with new things every day. Every day? When I wake up, I write, and I watch the news. I see what triggers me. And then I have this nasty divorce right now, so it’s materials like it’s write itself. Just free stuff. Free stuff coming to me, and I just try out new things. When I was just starting comedy, it’s very hard to try out things when I’m at The Laugh Factory and Improv. But now I’m just doing shows every day, so sometimes I go on stage, and I feel something, I’m just gonna say it and let it out, and they work a lot, and I feel like it probably, because I’m more seasoned now, and I just not try to memorize the opener thinking it’s gonna work. I feel the room, and I’m just gonna say whatever in my mind to open, ’cause we were told like, “You have to open strong. It have to be your best joke to open.” But it just feel very stupid to say the same joke over and over, because I do so many shows. So I just don’t care anymore. I’m like, “No, I’m just gonna do whatever in my mind right now.” There’s nothing more for me to lose, you know? I don’t have a marriage anymore. My husband took all the money, and I’m done. Like, I’m just gonna go up and do it, you know? And say whatever. You don’t care anymore. Yeah. So do, would you say that like you’re always doing yourself, or do you kind of have your like back pocket jokes that you like? My back pocket joke, it would be some like my mom joke would be my mom, and grew up in China joke, and that would be like a back pocket. That would be something. And also the beauty standard, how stupid it is in China. The beauty standard. And that will be something like I like to talk about it, because that’s a part of who I am, and the part of my brand to empower younger people, Asian people to know that, like they are beautiful just the way they are, ’cause they won’t have big eyes and light skin. The standards are really stupid. And all the beautiful Asian girls feel ugly because of those fake, stupid standards, so I just want to talk about, and make fun of those standard. And it make me feel happy, and because I’ve been ugly my whole life because of standard, and I just want to make fun of the people who, you know, bleach their skin, try to, the magazine trying to bleach everybody’s skin, make everybody’s so much whiter than they are, and I just think it’s so stupid. Yeah, I would like to go on record as saying that you are not ugly. You are extremely beautiful. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I feel that’s so nice. It’s like, you are telling a mirror you are gorgeous. She’s like, “I know.” So you, so you do like, I know that a lot of, for your comedy clubs, the two comedy clubs you own, a lot of your mission is like to try, and present more opportunities for like minorities, and like people that don’t generally get as many opportunities. ‘Cause, I have been to one comedy club in Los Angeles. I went to The Laugh Factory recently actually, and that’s the only comedy show that I’ve been to, because of the pandemic. And, way too many white dudes. What is this guy’s name? Dane? What’s his name? Cook. Dane Cook. Dane Cook. We gotta be done with Dane Cook. He’s still doing comedy? He’s still. Yeah, he’s like- He’s like headlining at The Laugh Factory I feel like every week. Can we just be done with Dane Cook, God! The guy’s so annoying! How do you feel about, what are your thoughts on Dan Cook? He’s in a weird relationship with a very young woman. How young? Like, like they started, I think. Hold on. ‘Cause he, his girlfriend is really young, and I’m pretty sure they started dating before she turned 18. She is 20 years old currently. She’s 20 years old currently, but they’ve been dating. He’s 40. Yeah. 20 Years. Less than the age of my implant. Yeah, so there’s- I don’t have any educating, but. It’s a fat transfer. I transfer the fat from my legs to my boobs. Nice, I was thinking about doing that actually. People tell money can help buy happiness. It can. Yeah, I want bigger pecks. I’m very skinny. I’d like some like big rock pecks. I wanna do the like, where you do the peck bounce. I really wanna be able to do that. I have one with my friend. He does that. Yeah, Josh does it. My coworker. Josh is like really good at the peck pop. But anyway, Dan cook, that guy sucks. Like, I’m pretty sure he’s kind of just a piece of I’m sorry if there’s any Dane Cook fans out there. I’m sure there probably aren’t. But they’re like, he’s just like an . But anyway, that’s really awesome what you’re doing with your comedy clubs. I think that’s just like so cool, ’cause there are so many talented people. Yeah, I actually produce a show called “Toxic Women.” Because all the women, they are so mouthy right now, and they are so scared, and they’re not getting booked. So I just have a show called “Toxic women.” All women and Asian woman, or a black girl would host, and basically bully everyone. So they use everybody like, “Hey, piece of , get on stage you. Repeat face jerk.” And but, they get a stage time. I’m like, You can get stage time. I feel bad for you guys.” So we just have toxic women. Nice, that’s a great. We need more of that. That’s cute, right? Right, I give them stage time. Makes them feel the love. And we have shows like “Black Girl Magic.” We have “Beast from Middle East.” We have “The Rainbow Show.” And like an all black girl, like all Asian, Asian female lead, Asian male lead, because we are not in the movies, so we can lead in the com, in my club. And I just have other shows. I remember one guy’s like, “All black girl on one show? This maybe too many.” I’m like, “This is literally the only all black girl on one show in Hollywood. Like this is the only one. It’s not too many it’s to fill.” Oh my god. That’s like, that’s such a stereotypical thing. Though I feel like in Hollywood where it’s like, “Oh my God, like this movie has an Asian woman as the lead.” And people are like, “Wow, that’s so great.” And it’s like one out of a billion movies. Yeah. It’s like, “Okay, we got one can. Like, is that really a win?” I mean, it is, but like we could be doing better. We can always be doing better. And it’s just, I feel like they always make such a big deal out of it. And it’s like, “Ah, there should be more though.” Yeah, exactly. No it’s, I just, Hollywood is so, I don’t know. It just feels weird. I feel like every vibe I get from like rich white men in Hollywood is just like, “Ah, you just like, I feel like you’re all people.” Yeah, you have to be very aggressive. We have to be aggressive with them too, ’cause you’re like, “Can I kiss you?” I’m like, we just met, and I’m married. I’m happily married, but I’m married. Like, “Why don’t kiss you. But you agree to have coffee with me?” I’m like, “Yeah, because you offer me a movie.” Yeah. That’s what they think. And they would just look at you like, “Are you stupid, and you’re not gonna kiss me right now?” I’m like, “No.” That’s so- That’s literally like, it’s how aggressive it is. Even after all the Me Too things, it’s happening. Still. Still happening. And it happening every day. We think we have so much power. Yeah. No that’s, that’s awful. I like feel bad right now. I’ve got like a lot of white guilt going right now. I promise I haven’t tried to kiss anyone. Not that I have like movie roles to offer anyone. I haven’t like kissed anyone to try, and get ’em to come on the podcast or anything. I haven’t made out with anyone on the podcast, yet. And I’m saying yet, because I think we talked about at one point, maybe having my girlfriend on the show. And if that happens, then we might kiss on camera. We probably won’t make out, but we might kiss. That’s so cute. But, until that day, I’m gonna make it my goal to not kiss anyone on the show. I hope that’s a good goal. Very ambitious goal. It’s achievable. You were an international beauty pageant queen. You were Miss China in 2014. Is that correct? That’s correct. And now I’m Miss Chinatown after I got fat. Oh no. Like I I’m not even gonna lie about it. Like now, like before I was Miss China, I’m like, “You better have a private jet to fly me for dinner in San Francisco.” Now I’m like, “I’m hungry. Just take me to Panda Express.” But I have boundaries though, like I have standard. I don’t want a Panda Express inside the Pavilion. I want the one with the storefront. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the one in the mall? At the mall food court? I don’t like them, I don’t like them. Like, I’m not there yet. Maybe after five years. Okay. Stop! I mean, you, what? You were Queen of the Universe. I think it was very important for me to compete that, because I just felt so ugly in my whole life. I thought if I could be considered a Miss China, so all the girls look like me If it’s dark skin, in Chinese standard, in East and Asian standard, and darker skin, and big lips. Oh, okay. Do you know my nickname’s in China? No. Cage Fighter. Cage Fighter? Because my face is so squared, and my lip my lips big, and I’m dark. They call me Cage Fighter. Oh my God. I like a dumpling lips. Dumpling lips. That’s kind of like, I don’t, I feel like that’s not like, I don’t know. That doesn’t seem that bad. Like I love dumplings. I can get kinda like freaky with them. So I feel like dumpling lips, that’s kind of a nice thing. Aw, that’s cute. I’ll make it into something positive. Yeah, I would. Here’s what I’m saying, and this is not weird, I would make out with a dumpling. Yeah, that’s what my mom said. She said you look like two dumplings glued together. Yeah. I, that’s like my ideal dumpling. Like a dumping glued together. The Korean made them, you know? They are not separated. I like Korean people. My gay husband is Korean. I’m Gaysian. I have six, well no, I have four Korean aunts, and two Korean uncles. We are the best. They’re so great. They are so funny, the Asian uncles, Asian aunties, the things they say is comedy. Yeah no, they’re great. So, ’cause my dad. So my dad has one biological brother, and then six Korean siblings that were all adopted. And so, I’ve definitely like, I’m very white, as you can tell, I’m very pale, but we always used to, they would call us Hun Gooks. We’d be the Hun Gooks, ’cause we’re like, we’re honorary Koreans. But, not really. I mean, I love Korean barbecue. Oh it is the best. That’s probably the most Korean thing about me. Yeah, it’s really amazing. How about karaoke? Karaoke? Oh my God. The Korean, no, this is no joke. The Korean karaoke spots in Ktown, they’re the best. They are amazing. They’re so great. If you live in LA, or if you’re coming to LA, and you wanna do karaoke, you gotta find one of the Korean karaoke spots. It’s really amazing. It’s like none other. I mean, it’s amazing. But yeah, I love Korean barbecue. I know like a little bit about K-Pop. That’s like, I know Jimin. I think I could name, can you name all the members of BTS? I know the, the name BTS, and I know that they have shiny eye shadows. Yeah, okay so. And they are beautiful boys. Really beautiful, and I don’t want to be around them ’cause they make me a two. I think I’m fine. My ego is already bruised. I don’t need them to make me feel worse. It’s hard, I- But I think they are beautiful. I’m very proud that they make it. Like, people loving K-Pop. It just, I think it is kind of a thing that to stop Asian hate is for the K-Pop culture to be so popular in America. We have followers. They have fans as, as black, as Latino, you know? All over race. It’s beautiful to have that. I just don’t like how pretty they are. It’s just- Yeah, they’re really pretty. I went to a BTS concert, and honestly, kind of made me feel bad about myself. I was like, they’re so beautiful. They’re so disciplined. I think they can’t eat a lot of food. They have to eat like a rabbit. It’s very regimen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, back to, what were we talking about before K-Pop? I don’t know how I got on the K-Pop tangent. We moved on with the beauty queen thing. Oh yeah. What duties did you have as Queen of the Universe? I went to the LA Children’s Hospital. Donate a lot of blood. Okay. What? You donated blood? Yeah, my blood, I give to people. Nice. And I almost fainted ’cause I didn’t know. That’s what happens after you donate blood. I’m really bad with blood. I’ve never actually donated blood, but I have gotten blood drawn for like tests, and even that, like it’ll make me a little bit faint. Probably because, I don’t know, I’m like thin. I don’t know, I probably have like anemia or something that’s like, I don’t know about. Actually, I can’t even say that, ’cause I went to the doctor today, and he said that I’m not anemic, so I have no excuse. Did you have a cookie before or after? ‘Cause don’t they give you cookies when you give blood, or like- Well, like I think when you give blood, but when you’re just going in to get blood drawn for like your doctor’s appointment, it’s not like a nice, they don’t have cookies there. You’re just in a room. They should. They should give you a fortune cookie. I felt bad. Some lady, I had to steal her snacks, ’cause I got like really faint and started sweating. And she like gave me like Ritz crackers, and was like, “Here, snack on these. This is my snack.” And I was like, “Well now I feel bad. I’m taking your snack ’cause I’m about to pass out.” But I ate ’em anyway. It was a long time ago. I say a long time ago. It was like a month ago. I have a terrible memory. It amounts to like a year in LA. You are not wrong. That’s true, that’s true. Here you are so busy. Like amounts, like there’s so many things happening. There’s too many things. Honestly, I just wanna sleep. I feel like every weekend for the last month I’ve had plans. Like, I haven’t been able to do anything. Because you are thriving. Yeah. Well. You are. I guess. I would say. I think it might be partly because like during COVID obviously, I didn’t do anything, and so I got used to always being inside, and now that like things are kind of returning, and you know, people are making plans now, I feel like every time I go out, I notice it. Like I’m like, “Oh my God, I’m like outta my house.” I don’t know. And so it’s like every time I do something, it feels like such a chore. Yes, like a big event. So you do a lot of shows. Yeah. You do a lot of shows. You’re very invested in your work, and you also have a family. How do you like balance all that? Do I? Do you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have two babies, a boy and a girl, and a mom. And that’s my family. I’m a single mom of two children with no child support. Oh, freak that guy. I know. Is it the gay one? No, the gay would never not pay child support. It’s not a gay one. It’s, whatever. My mom is helping me full time. Okay. And I have a nanny that she’s amazing. Awesome. And the kid’s one. The daughter is one and a half. The boy is little over three. Oh wow. So they’re young young. Yeah. They’re little babies. Yes. That’s a handful. I know. I can’t imagine. You’re like a super mom doing 10 comedy shows a week, and taking care of two babies. Yeah, people always be like, “Why is your nail up?” And I’m like, “I have two babies. They are still alive. What the do you want for me? I’m doing the best that I can.” My kids are alive, and there’s food on the table. What more do you want from me? Oh yeah, I can’t. And sometimes you are like Halloween, you know? You know, like I love cowboy and the cowgirl outfits. My son is a cowboy. I’m a cowgirl and we are very cute. My daughter is just in her sleeper. So people are like, “Why can’t she have an outfit like you?” I’m like, “No, she didn’t.” They were like, “It’s not fair. Why can’t-” I’m like, “Honey, she’s a girl. I kept her. What do you want from me?” Well I mean, she’s like one and a half. She can’t remember anything, you know? Yeah, exactly. What should I get her? A toddler straw suit. Like- Yeah, she can’t comprehend it. She doesn’t know what’s going. Yeah, people don’t judge me. I’m like doing the best I can. I don’t remember anything from like when I was eight years old and before. So honestly, if you’re a parent out there, you could just do whatever with your kids till they’re eight. That’s when they start remembering things. Yeah. That’s not scientifically accurate in any way. Don’t take parenting advice from me. But honestly, who cares? People are taking notes. I can feel they are taking note. Trevor said that. No, don’t. Don’t put me on record. Right? They’re just like drop down. Whatever happened to you, you are doing well. You are thriving in your life, so I think it’s good advice. Jamie, cut it out. My mom’s love me all the time, you know? And I love her, you know? ‘Cause, you know, when she doesn’t love me, you know, I feel it’s important. My dad gave me cold showers. That was when I was a bad kid I got cold showers. And it worked! He only had to give me two. I kiss him, and he’s like, “Don’t do this to me mom.” I kiss him on the face. He goes, “Don’t do this to me mom.” Oh man. I feel like- I’m like, “I made you. I can kiss you whenever I want!” I feel like your kids are gonna love you when they grow up. I hope so. They’re definitely gonna be like, there’s obviously always the teenage years where they’re, you know, gonna be rebellious. But like, I love my parents, and like, I feel like your kids, when they grow up, and they’re like get past that, you’re gonna be best friends with them. I hope so. I just feel that. Yeah. ‘Cause I just, I wanna be your best friend. This is great. I want to be. You are amazing. I want you to be your best friend, and people, you know, we are friends, so people just like, “Oh, he supports the AAPA community. I do. Very much. And he has the first comedian he has on is a Asian woman who’s fresh off the boat. That’s how much love Trevor have for us. Not from the show. Yeah, I never got the job, but I auditioned for it. They’re like, “Your accent is too much.” I’m like, “For Fresh off the Boat?” Like, I am fresh of the boat. Constant Wu is from Virginia. That lady has a pet rabbit. It has food. She’s not Asian. Asians don’t live in Silver Lake with a pet rabbit. She’s basically white piece of , period. Period. I go to Erewhon. I visit my pet rabbit in the bucket. I’m like, “You can’t bring your groceries to Erewhon.” Oh my God. Don’t get me started on Erewhon. I kid. I hate Erewhon so much. I kid. Oh my God. If you shop at Erewhon, I’m sorry, but I don’t like you. It’s so expensive. It’s so expensive, and for why? No, for why? For why? I know. It’s so dumb. Yeah. It’s so dumb. Just go to the Ralphs. Ralphs has good groceries. Or go to the freaking 99 Ranch, or Viarches Supermarket. Those are way better. 99 Ranch is amazing, yeah. I love 99 Ranch. You smell like a fish. You know it smell like fish, it’s a real Chinese market. Yeah. Oh, we go to the 99 Ranch all the time. ‘Cause they have the live fish. Yeah. I go to the fish counter there all the time. And they’ll do anything. Yeah, they’ll do anything. They’ll do anything to a fish. You pay, and they’ll, that sounds weird. Sorry. I’m so. I have an Asian guy. More for the Asian guy, I don’t think he speak English. So we ask him. So then, actually Latina guy, who was cutting the fish like, “How do you want your fish?” He goes, “Just the head.” He’s like, “Where?” “Here.” Cheek chick cheek. This side, this side here, a here. Cut, right here. Cut here. He’s like, “I can’t cut you.” He’s like, “Yes you can. Cut here.” He’s so crazy. I love how they put the signs up. They put the signs up with the different ways you can prepare a fish. Oh really? So now you can just point to it for all the people that don’t speak. Like, all the white dudes that go in there like me that are like, “I’ll take the number three,” which is where they like take the head off and clean it. Yes, yes. Oh, okay. It’s very intuitive. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a big production, the fish. Yeah, they had too many white people coming into the store that didn’t didn’t know how to ask for a fish, so they had to put a sign up. So you were born and raised in China? Yes. When did you move to the United States? I came to America when I was 18 years old. I went to the University of Kentucky. University, UK. UK, yeah. That’s who DeMarcus Cousins. John Wall John Wall? John Wall and Anthony Davis. Anthony Davis? Was DeMar, was boogie DeMarcus Cousins, I think you went to Kentucky. I think, ’cause there’s a lot of great basketball players in Kentucky. I was gonna say, you could pretty much choose a name out of a hat. A lot of good- He did play for the Kentucky Wildcats. Nice. Yeah, I was a math tutor for the school. So I tutored a lot of the players. I didn’t know, ’cause I didn’t know any English, or American culture. All my friends in China want autograph. I’m like, “Why would you ask this?” They’re like, “They are famous.” I never knew. Now I’m like, “Oh my God. That should have those guys. I regret so much. Like, you know? I’m like yeah, you know? Missed opportunity. Yeah, ’cause I can get some child support, you know? Yeah. So stupid. Yeah well, what are you gonna do? I do. They loved me ’cause I helped them with a math homework, and they are so amazing. But I just regret it. Well, that’s a tip for all you out there. Yeah, please. Going to university. Take advantage of men that are gonna be in the NBA. Yes, I should use those dumping lips. Those dumping lips will work so well. But I didn’t use it. I just use it to work as a waitress at a Japanese restaurant. Oh, and a bad Chinese man in Kentucky. Like, I could have a life. I could be, you know, I could be one of those rich, you know, NBA player wife, you know? Yeah. That’s tough. But now I’m a comedian. Like, oh God. Well. They are so handsome. They are so sweet. I would totally date one of those guys, but I didn’t have confidence. I didn’t know I can be hot. Now I’m like I’m an old lady, you know? I’m like I would just drink some Kombucha to make sure you think I’m young. I’m pretty sure like most, a lot of NBA players are like notoriously , like as far as relationships go. So, maybe it’s because- ‘Cause they are so, like they’re so focused with their career, they just, they don’t see anything. They are so, athlete are like that. They are so competitive. They don’t give a about the girls. Also, huge egos. Yeah, ’cause everybody want them. Yeah. But then when they retire, they lose all their money. They’re like, “Where is the money go?” I feel like I would be scared to date a basketball player ’cause they’re just so tall. Just so incredibly tall. I mean you’re tall, but like they’re- I’m like tall, but as far as NBA standards go, I’m shorter. Most guards are like my height or taller. There’s a few that are shorter, but people in the NBA are ridiculously tall. I like tall people ’cause I’m short. Yeah. I’m tall. I lie about my height. I don’t remember my height, but like I would say 5’4″, or 5’6″, but I’m actually 5’3.5″, but don’t tell anybody. 5’3.5″, you can round up to 5’4″. Yeah, I can lie because like if I go to auditions, this girl, she’s like short. She’s like, I’m 5’9″ I’m like Let’s not do that. Come on! Like don’t rep 5’9″. Gimme a break. No, everybody lies about their height. I always say if you got at least a half inch, you can round up to the next one. ‘Cause that’s, I mean, that’s just fair. Anyway, you grew up in China, and you were actually born in China when there was the one child rule. One child policy. Yeah, one child policy. So, my father found out that my penis was missing. Was a sad moment, and so he took me to the dumpster. But he dropped me on the ground because he was drunk. This is Irish coffee by the way. And then I realized ’cause I was dropped on the ground on my head. That’s why I’m a comedian now ’cause- Yeah, were you actually dropped on your head? Yeah. Oh. It wasn’t on purpose, he was just drunk. It’s not his fault. Some people say that I might be dropped on my head. Might have been at some point, I feel like I had a lot of head things going on as a kid. Like, I have a very hard head though. Like, I definitely fell off my bike like a lot, and like would hit my head. But I never like had any serious issues. Never any concussions. Maybe. That I know of. Who knows? I don’t have concussion, but I just, I just I’m a little crazy. Yeah. Just like I should be a lawyer, but instead, I’m a comedian. If I’m like accountant, I can marry Elon Musk, and I count all his money. I would be a good wife, ’cause I’m like, I can count all the money ’cause I’m a Chinese woman. Yeah. You need that Chinese woman, you know? Like Mark Zuckerberg, his wife’s Chinese too. Yeah. That tracks. That tracked. Mark. Zuckerberg’s a weirdo. Oh my God, oh my God. I’m still not convinced that he’s not like a lizard. So true. Nobody’s face looks like that. it’s so true. It’s like, they’re like, this is what a person looks like, question mark. Yeah. It’s literally like, it’s like if somebody like tried, like somebody that it doesn’t draw was told to draw an average looking white man from memory. And then that’s like what Mark Zuckerberg looks like. I don’t know. Weird. Have you seen “The Social Network?” That movie about him? I watched it. I feel like, Jesse was the actor’s name? Jesse Eisenberg. Jesse Eisenberg. Eisenberg is a great actor. He’s great, yeah. But why did they choose a very good looking man to play him? I don’t know. Jesse Eisenberg, like he’s cute. He’s cute, but he’s not as hot as you, but compared to like Mark is like- Yeah, I know. Did you pay to have somebody? It’s like having Amanda Seyfried to play this sitcom. Yeah. Amanda is like a 10 out 10. I’m like, “Why you have this?” I don’t know, the vibe is just like she’s just too pretty. It’s Hollywood. Everybody wants pretty people to be in their movies. I guess that’s true. That’s why I’m not in a movie. Stop! That’s not why. You guys are so nice. I don’t know why. I’m just drinking coffee. Is this free? Do I have to pay for the coffee? Yeah, you’re gonna want to give me $3. Well, we’ll do something like itemized at the end. Yeah. I think you, I think that’ll be. If you have three bucks, I could really use three bucks. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. This joke. Thank you, that’s very fun. This is a joke. I don’t even know what voice that was. I think that, I felt like I was trying to do an impression there, but I don’t know what it was. It was like Borat, but more Russian. That was. That’s what it was. My name is Borat. That’s so, so good. I love, what’s his name? Sasha Baron Cohan. Oh my God, I love him. He’s so funny. He’s amazing. Oh my God. I just love him. He’s my hero. I love him, yeah. I just so, I love him so much. He’s a genius. He does not give He is a true entertainer. Yeah, he’ll do anything. Great in “Talladega Nights.” He’s also very good looking too. You almost made me spit my Marketto. Is there anything that you do as a comedian to like draw inspiration from. Like, do you have like favorite comedy movies, or shows that you like to watch sometimes? I think I personally I love Joan Rivers. Okay. I love Whoopi Goldberg. I think I like Bill Burr. Yeah. I met him once, I was too drunk. I may have threw up on his pants. I didn’t know. I was standing there, and I was like, “Oh.” You threw up on Bill Burr’s pants. Maybe his shirt. I didn’t just throw up, but if somebody tried to make me the bad person, my husband, ex-husband is like, “You were drunk at The Comedy Story. You’re bringing shame to me.” I’m like, “Honey, nobody knows who the you are. I’m the famous one. I’m going to bring shame to you. What’s your name?” Wah wah wah. Like what the . Like you are a nobody! Bill Barr is not gonna let me open for him, and that’s end of story. I go there to social, and I got too drunk, and Bill Barr is just like, “She’s not opening for me.” And he walked away. That’s what happened to me, and it’s none of your business. It happens. I think actually last time I was at The Laugh Factory I threw up. I think it was during Dan Cook’s set too. I think it was, I’m pretty sure I threw up during Dane Cook- And you weren’t even drunk. That’s the joke. Oh yeah. That is, nice one Jamie. I get it. She made, she said that I threw up because it was so bad. I’m not the funny one. I just interject. Jamie’s funny. No Jamie, you’re funny. You’re funny. You’re funny. I had to borrow your shirt ’cause your shirt look like what would be a famous comedian would wear. Nice! Yeah. No, again, I know I’m back to Dane Cook. We already talked about it. He made way too many jokes about his way too young girlfriend. It’s like, he’s proud of it. And it’s so weird. He’s like making these jokes like, “Yeah, a lot of people give me crap because of my like, you know, young girlfriend, but she’s way hotter than all your girlfriends,” or something weird. Like, it’s like, dude, that’s- Are you sure she’s way hotter than other people’s girlfriends? I don’t know. You’re just like outing yourself as a freaky weirdo. I don’t know. I just wanna be done with Dane Cook. He’s had his time. He’s probably got plenty of money. Maybe he doesn’t have plenty of money if he’s headlining at The Laugh Factory every weekend. I don’t know. If he’s that, or if he’s that old. What is he, like 40 now? I still have the Dane Cook tab open. He’s 50 years old! Go do something. Go retire. Go buy Bitcoin and retire dude. I don’t know. Be a part of a weird celebrity sex ring. At least do it in private if you’re gonna be a weirdo. Don’t brag about it on stage at The Laugh Factory. I’m trying to have a fun weekend. Sorry, I don’t know why Dane Cook gets me so mad. Trevor’s triggered. Yeah. Do you have any like big comedy inspirations? I love Lucille Ball. I love Goldie Hahn. I like to do the comedy without really harming people’s feelings. But if they are privileged and they are entitled, I’m gonna tear them apart. Good. Cancel me if you want Jada pinky your , Like, you are supposed to empower woman, beautiful life, and your beautiful kids. And, you know, two pack. Oh my God. Jada look like she’s just, she’s a Barbie. She should be a Barbie. She’s a walking Barbie. She is gonna look good in her nineties. I know that. and I don’t like it, but it will be, you know? Life is like that, you know. There’s a new Barbie movie coming out, I think. Jada can play that. I think it’s Margot Robbie. Oh, I love Margot Robbie. She is a Barbie. And Ryan Gosling is playing Ken. [Trevor, Jiaoying] Oh. Ryan Gosling, he’s sexy. Oh he’s. He’s a beautiful man. He’s not just sexy, but he’s also just adorable. Just so amazing. Yeah, he in Crazy Stupid Love, that movie with Steve Carell, oh my God. It’s like he is. His leg up. He’s like a- He’s so hot in that movie for no reason. So hot. For no reason. It’s like, and his whole character is being hot. It’s like he’s extra hot because of who he’s playing. It’s like, he’s already hot. An he’s not deouchey about it. Aint nothing deouchey about it. He just hot, dripping hot. Is he single? I make good dumplings Ryan Gosland. I serve good dumplings here and here, everywhere. Oh man, do you wanna play a little game? Yes. I got some games I like to play on the show. This one’s called Rapid Fire Favorites. Yes. So I’m gonna say something, like a category of something. Just anything, like an object. And, for example, like cartoon, and then you would say, just off the top of your head what your favorite one is. That wasn’t one of the ones that I’m gonna say, but that was just an example. So, and you wanna do it as fast as you can, and if your answer is dumb, I will make fun of you. So be prepared for that. All right, are you ready? Rapid Fire Favorites, here we go. First one, shape. Circle. Okay. Type of soup. Dumplings. Actually, a chicken noodle soup. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Body of water. You mean like a ? No way. Body of water. The Atlantic Ocean. I’m like a lake or something. I really liked that answer though. Oh my God. That was better than any answer you could’ve given though. Oh my God. Oh my God, I’m gonna be in her next set, and she’s gonna be like, “I went on this idiot’s podcast. This guy, this white kid in a Lakers jersey, and a freaking safari hat.” That’s a nice hat. Thank you. It protects my fair skin from the sun. That’s a very nice hat. She’s just gonna rip me a new one on her next set. She’s like, “This guy asked me what my favorite body of water was, and then laughed when I said .” I love it. Oh my God. This is like definitely top three of most I’ve laughed on a show. This is phenomenal. You’re very funny. Thank you, honey. I’m so happy to be here. I feel so trendy to be at the Trevor Talks So Much. I feel like I’m 10 years younger. Oh, you are trendy. I think so. There hasn’t been anything that I’ve said that you haven’t known, right? I talked about BTS. You were born in the 90’s, right? You’re a 90’s kid. I’m a 90’s kid. ’99. ’99. July of 1999. I was alive for 6 months in the 90’s. ’99 was the year that Hong Kong was returned back to China. Nobody gave a . Oh no, that’s not good, right? It was returned to China by the English. By Great Britain. ‘Cause they had Hong Kong. Yeah, we don’t like okay, here’s the thing about this show, we don’t like the British. Oh, let’s talk about how much I hate Megan Marco and Harry. Wait, why do you hate them? I don’t know. Here’s one thing that I will never do is keep up with the Royal Family, or anything going on there. So I know nothing. She triggers me like how Dane Cook triggers you. Megan Marco triggers the out of me. Oh, okay. She’s on Oprah. She look in the camera, she goes, “I just want a private life.” I’m like, ” your life was pretty private when you were a D-list actress. Nobody knows who the you are. Yeah, and then you married a Royal. He wished he looked like you. What was the color of your pubes? I’m not a pervert. No, that’s okay. It’s the same color as my eyebrows. Beautiful. Oh my God. Oh man. Oh God. I mean, it’s beautiful color. It’s gorgeous. I’m crying. Thank you. I feel like, you know, “Crazy Stupid Love, like when Ryan Gosling was in the dressing room, with his crotch out, they should close up your pubes. Oh, that scene where he is in the sauna. Oh my gosh. Sauna yeah, with his legs up. And his leg’s up, yeah. And then Steve Carell passes out. His head is there. Lays his head right on his junk. That’s a great scene. That’s amazing. Yeah, it’s nice. Sorry. What were we talking about before my pubes? We were doing Megan Markle’s sets. Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know much about the Royal Family, but I would reckon if you want your life to be private, don’t marry a member of the Royal Family. And go on interview every day. Yeah, probably a good rule of thumb there. But, maybe that’s just me. You look like a prince. A prince? Royalty. You look like a real prince. Oh, from like Denmark. Wow, that’s very sweet. Big, tall, and beautiful. Like a Danish prince? Yeah. I’ll take that. Big, tall, and beautiful. I’ll take that, that was one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received. Seriously, you look like, you would look like a Danish prince from like Europe. Yeah, who loves the Lakers. Do you want to do one last game? I think we have time for one last game. I’m excited, yes. Okay, well this game is called, I’m ready for the joke that’s gonna come. It’s called What’s in my Pocket? Condemns. No. You got it wrong. So there’s basically, there’s an object in my pocket, and I’m gonna give you three clues, and you have three guesses to guess it is. And then, if you guess it, you get to keep it. So, this could be very big. Oh my God. It’s actually not in my pocket because it was uncomfortable, so it’s behind my back now. Oh, I’m so excited. So what’s behind my back? All right. The first clue is it is shiny and pretty, okay? Second clue, it can go on a ring. What’s the ring. Like a ring, like a ring. Like it could go on a ring. Oh, oh. And the third clue is that it refracts light in a cool way. Crystal. What kind of crystal? No, you know what? I’m gonna give it to you, ’cause that- It is a crystal. Oh my. It’s big, fake diamond. Oh my God. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yes, I do. You should send your ex-husband a picture of that, and be like, “Look what a very nice young boy gave me today.” No, you are a Danish prince. Yeah, look what a nice young Danish prince gave me today. Yeah. Yeah. And then you can just- It’s gorgeous. Is this crystal? I don’t know what it is. But it’s gorgeous. It’s fake, whatever it is, but it’s big. Me so fancy . Hi, you are the Kardashians. Look at this. You have to work harder for this. You have to work out your hand. And work. And Kim did. She got the porn out. You know that she worked her fame. Oh, can we be friends? We have to be friends. Are we friends now? We are friends now. Awesome. That’s epic. I love that. I feel so hippy and cool now. That’s great. I need to come to one of your comedy shows, ’cause. You’re gonna have so much fun. That would be a treat. It’s what I need. And I mean, if you do 10 shows a week, then I have every opportunity to. Yes. Jamie and I are gonna come. Yes. Feel free. Plug all, everything. Where can people find you? What do you up to? Oh my God, I have my biggest thing in my career happened is June 2nd. I would headline the world famous Carolines on Broadway in New York city. Awesome! So please buy tickets. Sugar daddies and diabetes daddies gets to buy tickets, and I need to sell out. I have to sell out. I need to sell out. Then I have a lot of shows on my website Jiaoyingsummers.com. Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, everything at JIAOYINGSUMMERS. J I A O Y I N G S U M M E R S. Please follow me, I need to pay child support. I need to buy diapers. I’m sad, but not crying ’cause I can’t afford foundation anymore. Thank you. Please follow her. She’s extremely funny as you’ve probably learned throughout the entirety of this episode. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much. It’s so fun. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it. You are amazing. Thank you. Such a fun guest. Everybody, that was a treat. That was quite an experience. That was a treat. Please go check out Jiaoying Summers. If you live in Los Angeles, she apparently is doing a billion shows a week. So, please go check out her comedy. She’s really funny. Go follow her on TikTok. Her TikToks are hilarious. Catch her social medias, and if she’s coming anywhere near you, you know, be sure to look out for tickets ’cause she is hilarious and very kind. Very sweet person. She said I looked like a Danish prince. Which, one of the nicest things that anyone’s ever said to me. Jamie, how did that go? I was crying with laughter. She is just on it. And it’s like so quickly that she can transfer from like a serious topic. Just right back into the zings. Yeah, no. And that’s one of the things that like blows me away about like, you know, people that are like trained entertainers is how fast they are with everything. ‘Cause you’ll watch me. I try and say something funny sometimes, and I just stop talking, ’cause I got nothing up here. I got nothing in the brain, and I’ll just be like. And I’ll just go blank. But like she is just, she always has a joke at all times, and it, she was phenomenal. But that was so funny. It was so good. And it’s like, I’m like, you’re not old. No. She’s not old. No. And like I get it. Self-deprecating jokes, that’s kind of my thing. I do it all the time. But then when other people do it I get mad, ’cause I’m like, “No, you’re really funny, and you’re not old, and you’re really beautiful. And why are you saying these things about yourself?” But then I get on here, and I’m like, “I’m so stupid and the worst.” And that’s like my whole bit. So I get it. I get it, it’s funny. It’s funny to make fun of yourself. Yeah, but we’re going to a show. I’m gonna look it up. I’ll get us tickets. No, we gotta go. Everybody, let me get a little bit off topic, but also on topic here for a second. School lunches. You remember school lunches, yeah? Some were randomly good, some were eh food, you know? it’s something to put in your body, but we do live in America, so most of the time it’s eh, but what are you gonna do? Rhett join Stevie and Nageen on Best Friends Back All Right For a special episode. So, check it out. Apparently they talked a lot about school lunches. A lot of opinions going on there. Rhett, Stevie, and Nageen just got down into the business. Best Friends Back. Best Friends Back All Right Plus Rhett. And you know Rhett. He’s a silly, goofy guy. So, it was a great episode. They talked a lot about school lunches, and all sorts of stuff. So, go check it out whenever you get the chance. It’s a great show. Thank you as always for listening to Trevor Talks Too Much. Make sure to listen every Tuesday wherever you get your podcast. The video version comes out the following Monday on Youtube.com. So please check that out as well. Leave a review, leave a comment, leave a whatever. Tweet me. I don’t care. Tell me how I can improve the show. I wanna make the best show possible as always. I promise I don’t wanna make a crappy show. So, let me know how I can improve it. And yeah, check out all the other Mythical socials. Everything we got going on. Check me out over on Mythical Kitchen. Check out Mythical Pods on TikTok. A lot of funny clips from all of our podcasts there. It’s kind of the hub for anything podcast related that we’re doing over here. So, check that out. And yeah, everybody have a great week. I don’t know what day it is today, ’cause we recorded this obviously in advance, so this is gonna be on a day. But I hope it’s a great week from the point when you listen to it to the end of that week, I hope it’s great. No more, no less. Just the seven days from when you listen to this episode, the next seven days are great. I was on fire with that outro, and then I bungled it like always. Have a great week everyone, bye!