Bend over. You fell for it. Is it magic? Or is it science? Is it a spray tan? Yeah, well, how’d you know? This is science! Get it out while you can. We’ve got a lot, a long history with science and previously there’d be children with us, but- They no longer let us do that. They’re now on the other side of the internet. Children, grab your knives or sharp objects cause we’re gonna dissect a Tyrannosaurus. Now if you’re like me, you may distrust scientists. I mean, with all of them talking about the global warming and all that, I tell ya, I ain’t seen any evidence of it, I went out the other day, it was so cold my nipples cut a hole in my tank top. You went back inside and changed. I got Lerlene to breathe on my chest to calm my nipples. Sometimes I get Tammy to sand mine down. Tammy’s my niece. Dinosaurs supposedly roamed the Earth 65 million years ago, but we all know that people and dinosaurs lived together about 6,000 years ago, but whatever, science schmience. This is what the paleontologists do. When they find a dinosaur body in the wild, the first thing they do is they rip it open. And look at it. And see what’s inside and they take the bones out and they take that to the museum. They keep all the good parts to themselves. They keep the skin and the organs and they make costumes out of them. You might be thinking, this is small, it must be a baby. Ha, this ain’t a baby, this is a full-grown T-Rex that’s been caught in peat moss for generations, and it shrunk. Slowly shrunk. He slowly shrunk. Mhm. Kind of like a shrunken tally wack. Beard looks good. Why does your breath smell like suntan oil? You been licking my calves again, while I’m sleeping? Grab your Tyrannosaurus and lay it down this way. And there’s a squeaker. Googles are optional. Get a close-up of that. You know you’ve got a shrunken Tyrannosaurus if you can see the squeaker. The squeak’s gone. Now first we’re gonna remove that squeaker. I’ll put my finger right there and you just cut around it. Okay, here we go. All right, there ya go. If you accidentally cut yourself, do not immediately stop and go call 9-1-1, you gotta be committed to the craft. You think a paleontologist, if they cut a finger or limb off in the middle of a exciting discovery would give up? No, cause as soon as they go to a hospital, some Jack comes in there and takes credit for the discovery. And then, push on that. You just wanna push it. There ya go. You just wanna push the squeaker in and get it lost. Forget it existed. Now, next thing you can do is you trim its toenails. That is an option. Yeah, right there, you give him a little snip. Have you ever seen the hood of a Rolls-Royce? Well, of course I have. And you know when they park it, the hood ornament, whoop it gets sucked back in there like the head of my tally wack when it’s real cold? Just like that. What’s your point? And then sometimes when you crank it up, schoop, schoop. You talking about the car or you talking about your body? I’m talking about the car. Okay. When you crank up a Tyrannosaurus, these pop open and missiles come out. Now you’re making stuff up. Don’t tell ’em. Keep it on, keep it- Keep it on science? Keep it on science. Okay. Speaking of science, after you’ve removed the squeaker and pushed it inside so that it disappeared, now you’re gonna wanna take this. All right now. Oh, you’ve done a dorsal cut on the laterus. Again, after a lot of time has passed, sometimes the bones have turned to some sort of foam, but don’t worry. Nope, nope, nope, let me get it with the plucker. At the museum, they will be able to reconstitute this into a bone-like substance. If I didn’t know better, I’d think this is what your beard was made out of. It’s similar but different. Now, if you do this right, you can wear this. Ah, don’t wear it there! Don’t wear it there. You just, you just, you just, be still, be still. Now turn, show the people. Now this is, all the scientists are having all the fun. This is what’s happening in laboratories all across the world. The museum, you’re paying 30, $40 a head to go in there to look at some bones. They got the skin and they’re wearing ’em like masks. That’s why you should be a scientist, kids. Look how much fun Rusty’s having. Woo! It’s juicy in there. Yeah. It’s clean in there, innit? Look how- It’s clean as a whistle. Oh goodness gracious, you sweat real fast. I tell you, man, I was trying to find a way out with my tongue. Oh, you licked the inside? Just like your calf when you sleep. Look it, you can put it on, look at that. Bend over. You fell for it. What, you’re gonna stick it on me? Yeah, bend over. You fell for it again. Bend over. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that, like Davy Crockett. Next time I go to the Charlotte Motor Speedway, I’m gon’ walk into in-field and everybody’s gonna be like, “Look at that man, now that’s not a jackass if I ever saw one, that man is a scientist.” Step right up and see a T-Rex give birth to a full-grown scientist! It’s happening right now. Wah, wah. It’s been another fantastic day in discovery of science. So don’t forget that there’s always something new that you can learn. The world is full of science and lies. Empty it out. It is your job to decipher between the two. Hopefully we have helped you with that quest today. This has been science. This was science.